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It's flavor to me. My confidence allows me to receive the same IF it's used in the same way, which most aren't quite capable of, particularly with those they don't know. Further example of the issue at hand, here. Anyways, to answer some: If you want to discuss things, I. As I said, I've covered the 'trust' thing elsewhere.
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A couple of my favorite lines in a Cake seem very appropriate here: The ornaments look but they're weighing down the branches of the tree. I don't want to sit a across the table from you, wishing I could run. It was following her actually telling me the truth about her life. She had made some really dumb choices in the past, she was ashamed and that I'd find out and leave.
She'd had an abusive stepfather and a mother who took no action after it was discovered. Screwed her up good. However as others have noted be the case here, she clung to it for protection. She used it as a defense of any fucked up action, after all, she had suffered so much. There was no way I could understand, no way I could relate and therefore I was insensitive because my response was much that it was not the reason she continued to make poor choices.
The fact is that people CAN relate, we all have things that have been "done" to us we had no control over. Things that hurt us and we didn't handle well, we've all fucked up our lives at one point or another. We've all hurt someone we and been hurt in return, its part of the human condition.
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So before you discard this guy because he's so insensitive perhaps he's one who MORE sensitive? He's also brave knowing until you take that step you cannot get over your past. Once you do you'll be able to look him in the eye on things, become the partner you are capable of, a full partner not a dependent one.
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