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Without preamble, she launched into enthusiastic endorsement of a lubricant called Astroglide: Now I am older, it seems less funny. Young people are often surprised that older women have sex at all. On Gransnet , the social networking site for grandparents that I edit, one poster described celebrating her 55th birthday at work and being asked by a much younger colleague at what age she had given up sex.
She replied that she'd let her know when it happened; the other woman, she said, "looked horrified". In fact, people over 60 are now the fastest-growing group contracting sexually transmitted diseases, according to government agency figures. Even allowing for the fact that we're starting from a low base, this is clearly not post-menopausal purdah.
Much of the ignorance about sex and the older person stems from resistance to thinking about old people at all, least of all their yucky bodies. There is a profound cultural fear of ageing, which glorifies the young and deprecates anything old: This distaste tends to feed a perception of older people as a homogeneous group — which is absurd, because we tend to become more diverse, more assertive about our likes and dislikes, as we age.
This is likely to be as true of sex as of anything else. Certainly, the impression that discussions on Gransnet give is that there's a spectrum of activity, from "none and not bothered" to "lots and up for more". Some of it may also be highly inventive, if only out of necessity. When one Gransnetter asked recently: There's clearly one big plus to being older, in that intimacy benefits from time and a lack of toddlers and teenagers.
As the HRT reference suggests though, menopause can trigger a crisis. Those who sail on through it may well have to adjust, to make use of Astroglide-type aids or other chemical assistance. But among those who do slow down, it isn't necessarily or mainly, according to our admittedly self-selecting panel women who make the decision.
Some are left with a sense of mourning: Menopause may not, of course, be the only or main cause of waning desire, even when it takes the blame. New relationships have a suspicious habit of reviving enthusiasm. Now there are no strings and sex is the best ever. Also I have no hangups about my body, because I don't really care what he thinks although he is very kind! The memoirist Diana Athill writes, in Somewhere Towards the End , of her sadness that making love with her "dear habitual companion" had staled: Nora Ephron, who has written entertainingly about ageing , maintains that if you're lucky enough to be having sex in your 60s, you won't be having the sex you had in your 20s.
This is probably true, although it doesn't have to be worse. Some Gransnetters claim to be having the best time of their lives. The ingenuity of people with dodgy hips should not be underestimated, nor, for those with less than fighter-pilot reactions, should Slow Love.
If you want to talk first, Trollope works fine. Her bestseller, A Round-Heeled Woman and the play adapted from the book, starring Sharon Gless , which finishes a West End run this week catalogues a sexual odyssey that is by turns alarming, sad, funny and pleasurable. Menopause, according to Gloria Steinem, can give women a new drive and confidence.
Internet dating sites have made finding someone to suit this new, more assertive state easier. There are some that are specifically and by some accounts successfully targeted at people in the second half of life, though one Gransnetter warns, to no one's great surprise: Sex , for most people, does tail off at some point, though there's little consensus about the timing or rate of decline.
For some, it may stop abruptly on an otherwise unremarkable holiday; others have every intention of continuing to the end of their days and will point out that less frequent doesn't always mean less intense. Greater longevity and improved health mean that a phase of life never previously seen now exists: The novelty of this means that very little is understood about its erotic possibilities — but these are likely to be as varied as for any other group and, probably, more so.
I'm nearly 74 and he's Older people Women Sexual health Health Relationships features. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading? Everything you didn't know about sex, but thought you did Sarah Ditum.
If you haven't let a woman make love to you before, I would LOVE to be the first. Fairpoint Connection w4m Will it be a missed connection.
I will be thinking about you and all the best times we shared this time of year. No romance just someone else I can say hello to around town. Waiting for some fun I'm waiting to swap some and erotic with a women that is bored in her relationship as I am I don't want to so I thought this will be perfect send a and what you want to do with me to start off with I'd hope that after u are very full of my stuff.