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Commenter Trust asked if I would give my thoughts on a post by Willard F. He states this in a gender neutral way, but he makes it clear that he is talking about wives losing attraction for their husbands:.

They probably even have a friendship of sorts. As it turns out, most of these women divorce their husbands. As it turns out, I also address conflict resolution, but I do it in a way that builds love between spouses. Feelings of attraction and romantic love are a sort of all purpose lubricant. When the attraction is there it is easy to overlook other issues. When it is gone the smallest issues often seem gigantic. The Love Bank is a sort of ledger of warm fuzzies and cold pricklies.

Build up enough warm fuzzies while minimizing cold pricklies in the ledger, and sexual attraction suddenly appears:. We like those with positive Love Bank balances and dislike those with negative balances. But if an account reaches a certain threshold, a very special emotional reaction is triggered — romantic love. We no longer simply like the person — we are in love. Since he makes it clear that this is a problem of wives not feeling attraction to their husbands, what this really means is the key to men becoming sexually attractive to their wives is to do more nice things for them.

This is what Rollo calls negotiating desire , and not only does the approach not work when men try it, it makes the problem much worse. Harley claims this approach is revolutionary , but it is simply deeply flawed modern conventional wisdom. He sets this up as a two part system. In part A the wife does everything she thinks the husband wants for 30 days. Before she does this however she secretly prepares for part B, where she ambushes her husband by either kicking him out of the house if they have children or moves to a new apartment.

In both schemes once the husband grovels enough the wife will regain her attraction for him. Harley gives the example of a Christian woman named Ellen who had lost her tingle and found herself tempted to cheat on her husband:.

She is a Christian, but told me that she was very tempted to have an affair or divorce her husband. Following his advice, she moved out of the marital home to a secret location:. Sometimes, especially when an unfaithful spouse refuses to end an affair, I recommend no contact at all for plan B.

If he wants to contact her, he must talk through a designated mediator. I had explained to Ellen how her husband would probably react at first: He would throw a fit. He told her that he was filing for divorce, and that she was now on her own. I also predicted what might happen next: That also happened right on schedule after two weeks had passed. This is how these systems almost always work. Harley closes by warning wives that they really need to lower the boom Plan B their husband to get him to buy and follow his products.

In fact, by crushing their husband with the threats of the family courts they will be doing their husband a favor:. While your husband may not like my plan at first, especially if you separate from him, if it succeeds, he will be a much happier man.

He will come to recognize, as you do, that a great marriage requires a mutual effort. Separation is always a dangerous step to take because it often leads to an affair or divorce. But what are the alternatives? Some people wait and hope for a change of heart.

But as I mentioned earlier, time can go by very quickly. Before you know it, 20 more years will have passed without any improvement. Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages:. Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married five years later. Yes, call it lowering the boom, Plan B, giving him a honey-do list so he can be a better servant-leader — whatever a woman can do to force her man to raise himself to her higher, more spiritual and moral level, she should do it for his own good.

Ron Hubbard of marital advice. What he says sounds nice , but it is completely impractical in the real world, and all roads ultimately lead back to giving him more money in exchange for more impractical advice. Harley is just operating from false premises. The problem with Harley is pretty simple: However I seriously doubt that anyone could convince him to consider new information, new science, etc. Probably the most regrettable part of your Declaration of Independence, Mr Jefferson, was your inclusion of the pursuit of happiness, clearly not attainable under the jackboot of the King as if it was a noun as easily observable as Life and the slightly more uncertain Liberty and thus as an entirely subjective state achievable under narcotics as much as under a system of taxation with representation, America has set perhaps unintentionally, itself to catching will-o-the-wisps.

Even the masochist as he labours under the whip gains moments of jouisance from the knowledge that his pain is being obtained at the expense of forcing someone to do his will and The United Nations has invoked a general Happiness Day and given that day also celebrates my birthday I certainly feel a sense of well-being on that day though how much better things were when one could relate any particular day to a Saint and reflect on his or her moral qualities rather than the amorphousness of not being miserable.

Happiness, I note, is not generally condusive to the creation of great art or any other sort of achievement. However, when one claims that the lack of either of these is a basis for blowing up a marriage, one has made them the basic foundation of marriage itself, such that when they lack, the marriage should be blown up because it no longer has substance.

This development, and the mindset it represents, is by far and away the main driver of high divorce rates. The sad part is that none of this is necessary, because the old idea of marriage as covenant and commitment — as something you just see through, in good or bad, etc. In its essence, the latter has swallowed up the former and redefined it as an extension of the latter, rather than as a covenant and commitment which may, in some cases, go against the latter yet is nevertheless an absolute personal and social good.

People like this guy are a part of the wrecking crew. There really is nothing else to say about them. Sex really can be a secondary thing which they do for occasional closeness or fun or duty, but neither of them feels pressured to have it or denied it. Treating symptoms gets a lot more money from the patient than curing the problem, but this method of making the problem worse while declaring a fix is even more devious. There is a special place in Hell for people like this guy, making his living conning gullible women into frivorce.

Cail, the couples you speak of, I know a couple of them. They ARE best friends and have a real contentment in their lives. The serenity and peacefulness that emanates from these couples is surreal. Unfortunately, they are the minority of minorities. Most people would like to believe that these couples have no fun in their life, they are boring, etc.

Wrong, they are content and enjoy a joy that is beyond most humans grasp. Novaseeker Your comment on June 5, at 9: There are a couple of these relationships which have been advertised as such here in the sphere, and those relationships have been thoroughly dissected and analyzed.

These marriages are characterized by:. Both partners were above average physical attractiveness 2. Both partners are assortatively paired, i. They occupy traditional sex roles i. She was age 23 or less at marriage. They have retained some of their physical attractiveness into middle age. In all of these relationships you can tell there was intense sexual attraction from the get go, and it is still present, albeit to a lesser degree.

He still feels attraction because of wife goggles. For her, the sexual attraction waxes and wanes, but the important part for her is that it was there from the very beginning, and that she felt it more intensely than with other men. When I have taken the time to voice the incredible misandry I encountered through my divorce, in the police, in my friends and neighbors, and in the family courts, or spoke about how the family courts used threats of child abuse against my children to extort more money from me, to the people in my church the response was less then Christ like.

They do not care. When I explain to them that the laws actively engage bad behavior in men as well as women they seem perplexed. Men are afraid of being divorce raped so surely they will be on their best behavior, right? Perhaps those poor man suffering under a controlling abusive wife, which appears to be every man in my church. Why would we be good?

His shattered backbone is starting to be repaired. Something that often gets overlooked is that sexual attraction in a marriage at the beginning is a given for a man. I think the important point to take from this: That number keeps rising!

He meant it in the classical sense, happiness as in virtue. I lean towards the orthopraxy explanation: Sort of like a rock star whose songs are very Beta. How is it that he can see this and yet still not see that the wife may need to change HER behavior? I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

But they are human, and therefore prone to take advantage of situations and persons to the extent that they can operate outside the standard rules of conduct.

This is just human nature. When women in divorce are backed by the State in a heavily lopsided legal advantage compared to men, they feel entitled and even justified to do, and get anything they can, from the man, as long as the State enables them. Women are already highly susceptible to envy, greed and vindictiveness — and the State encourages and incentivizes their worst inclinations.

I know several women who are in the middle of learning this. Unfortunately, in all cases there are innocent children involved whose lives are much worse off alone with mom than they ever were with dad. Where does the One who made us ever say that He made her primarily so that the man could be required to meet her emotional needs?

Ask a pointed question on a message board about why fat women never get themselves into shape. You have no innate understanding of morality or religious matters and are not qualified to teach men about them,and even if you did, you are commanded by the Lord your God not to do so.

God via the Bible. Whichever she needs at the moment. What the heck are you doing man? On a serious note, I suspect your activity at yahoo has more potential than a hundred of us flooding Christian forums, in terms of someone catching a snap and averting divorce.

Most of the readers at yahoo have not yet adopted a personal jesus. People also need to realize feeling love is not the same as actual love. Actual love involves rebuking against wrongs. Lying, conniving, home-wrecking twat. It speaks volumes about the feminine imperative that the female preferred form of promiscuity serial polygamy is considered moral while the male preferred form of promiscuity simultaneous polygamy is considered the worst of evil.

Do you imagine churches sanctioning simultaneous polygamy using rationalizations the way they do with serial polygamy? This is the most misinterpreted verse in the Bible. This book explains why this is misinterpreted:. This misinterpretation is using by liberals to demolish Christian morality.

Every time a liberal guy wants to absolve himself of bad behavior quotes the verse. He is often an non-Christian and this can be the only Biblical verse he knows, but, boy, he really uses it once and again.

Of course, they judge all the time: It is only that they want the monopoly of judgement. More importantly, this misinterpretation is finishing with Western civilization. Since everybody is afraid to judge, bad behaviors are not shamed and are more and more prevalent. Ospurt, I figured somebody would probably go there. I encourage you to read somewhat further, and then ponder this question. When God divorced Israel, he removed his provision and protection from her, but never turned his back.

Marriage is the original institution. Under what conditions will Christ divorce His bride? I think Calvary holds the answer to that one. Uh, no, you can find the answer to that in the Parable of the Prodigal Son.

Divorce is a sin. Legal divorce between Christians is doubly so, trotting internal divisions before the world. It gives the seeker the belief that they are free to remarry, that their prospective adultery aka remarriage is not adultery. The Catholics play this game to an extent, they say the other marriages are legit just not as much as theirs.

The way I figure it is woman behave so badly in marriage because there is no credible threat of divorce from their Christian husband.

Which is not to say various folks take on God hating divorce is wrong, but from a practical stand point, women will not do better or become better wives without that credible threat of harm, financial hardship etc. Just Asking You seem to be forgetting Matthew 18 vv15 — Christians do have a scriptural responsibility to act as judge over their fellow Christians. This enables the person in the wrong to be corrected privately if possible, but publicly if need be and shows the strength of the need to keep sin away from the people of God by keeping the unrepentant sinner away from all of the members of the congregation.

If you are up to it, because it a little heavier going, I would also suggest Concise Theology by J I Packer which outlines a number of Christian beliefs and how they are derived from Scripture. I was rediscovering some great Groucho puns today, he had a lot of before-his-time things to say. I should have asked for a jury. Who cares about what the Old Testament or the New Testament says, really? Just recognize its usefulness and USE it accordingly.

Now you are equating the infinite with the finite. However, we are finite creatures. We have needs, sexual relationships being one of those, but the call is to have these relationships and treat these relationships as Holy and not causing us to Sin.

Look at the Parable of the Wedding Feast. The Banquet Hall will be closed at some point. They are divorced for Eternity, because of Sin. If you do not repent of the Sin, there can be no reconciliation. Till death do you part. Maybe SSM went back and did so. I can take the time this saves me and plow it into chasing utopia; searching with Sherpas for Shangri La. Half my life, maybe more….. This is it exactly. The problem is the imagined rule set is the new normal. I know this might sound tough, but follow youre heart, if you love this man then go for it because as you have clearly explained that you and you current husband are just like two friends.

Therefore you have answered your own question…. Leave your husband cause youre not happy but dont take your kids too far away from there father. Adultery is always wrong, common sense. March 6, at As a lesser manz, do you usez da Biblesz to keep your womenz in line so you can butehxt her as a leseer manz zlzozlzlzozoz?

I have to say, the entire conversation is what makes guys like me new red-pill types get shy and step back a bit. I am the guy dragging my wife, OUR 2 kids and her 1 son to church every Sunday. But what do I hear—your church should kick you out because your family is not validly organized. There is a cruelty there. Do you see it? I do not mean any of this to get me flammed, but if it does, I can take it.

Just want an honest answer to that. It took me 5 years to reach that point. So, as much as I could be like Christ I worked to lead and purify my wife, but she kept sinning. Even as I shed Beta habits and became the Alpha I was before the destruction, she sinned even more. Ohh the conversations where she said I was becoming more attractive to her, but she was still going to sin and not repent.

The problem with divorce 2. I have no desire to divorece my wife. She is obnoxious, but she is my wife. I have 3 children I am taking care of. There is no evidence that she has cheated on me, nor have I on her. This is a real-life situation—not God and Israel—the imagery of some of these posts is just too much for my small brain to wrap around. The proposed solution is for me to divroce my wife? That strikes me as a cure that is worse for 3 innocent children than the sin itself. It will be margnalized before it ever hits the ground.

We did not have children of our own and her actions had our foster children taken away, so I have no kids souls to deal with, just my own. I am pretty sure you and I are engaged in a discussion at Cails place. Bithcy, shit tests, etc—all at home. In public, she dotes on me, tells everybody what a wonderful husband I am, never disrepects me, etc. Like I said, MAP is working—but as I have discussed here and elsewhere, it reminds me of the silly tactics I used on chicks to get laid when I was in high school college.

And it seems sinful. SO I try little pieces of it, here and there. Anyway, I think we may not be as far apart as I thought. I will boldly stand before the throne and explain to God why I chose to protect my children from that cruelty. If he sends me to hell for it, sobeit.

What you seem to be objecting to is not religion, per se; but rather an ethical framework. Protestants, Catholics, Jews and etc. Anon, as one of the people being kind of hard on you over there, I agree: The result is millions of people like you who find themselves in a spot where following the literal rules at this point would probably do more damage than not.

You could not possibly be more insightful in recognizing that current domestic relations law in this country, most notably, no-fault divorce, is an order of magnitude more dangerous to sacramental marriage than same-sex marriage.

If we were brought up to expect women to be soft, cuddly, nurturing, and not too bright about things outside their narrow range of interests, the glass would look more than half-full. Probably exaggerating here, but not much. To expound on what you posted above, the RCC explicitly condemns illicit divorce. In other words, it is entirely possible that a divorcing Catholic could be committing among the most grave of sins. Only to the extent that a civil divorce is the only means whatsoever to protect an innocent spouse is it even permitted.

This is patently heresy. SSM, I am not sure we can take that Scripture as meaning only men can file for divorce. It was answering the question that was posed, which was if a man could divorce his wife for any reason.

The original question had the same focus. Anyone know what OT information the allowance for divorce in the case of sexual immorality was based on? Must the divorce their current spouse? Is the act of remaining remarried a sin? This does seem like a case where the narrow way is something few be that find it, but the edge cases can be challenging. It was logical, therefore, that he would be the only one that could break it. Again this is only Marriage 1. This is easily answered, however, since we can look at history and realize that Christ Matt Though I have not gone deep into the MAP because my marriage was done at the point I discovered Athol and Red Pill thinking, many of the concepts about controlling your emotions are similar to training provided to foster parents who may have to deal with emotionally unstable children.

I went through weeks of hands on training on this subject. I used a lot of it on my wife in the end. I made the observation to some other trained foster parents that my wife and I had been through the same training, yet she could not tell when I was using those techniques on her when she went into an emotional storm.

I reached the point I was frustrated more at the loss of time than whatever was said. I would often try and consciously log the tactics used so I could converse with other foster parents about how it works on emotionally unstable adults. It is not easy. If a man divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. As the 1st marriage still stands. And having sex with another woman is the same as marrying her and committing adultery. See my previous comment above. This passage in malachi I have provided earlier makes it clear god hates divorce.

But god has a legitimate reason for divorcing israel:. Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another? A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the Lord loves, by marrying the daughter of a foreign god. I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries.

However as Daltock and others have noted in this Marriage 2. Grace and patience sustains the relationship to allow for confession and repentence, but it is not an infinite wait. The divorces we are seeing today are capricious and damaging to one party for often nothing more than te divorcing party not being happy. In past times it was the women who suffered from frivorce, now in Western Society it is the men. The problem with most 2.

They do not divorce to escape sin, they divorce to embrace it. That is the problem. Church and society is turning a blind eye to an increase in sin. No theory, religious or otherwise, has any useful purpose other then to be implemented in practice. Nobody studies just to learn more; we study so that we can work and act more effectively. The only reason religion should exist is to keep women and lesser men in line.

I would suggest that religion has the same intrinsic value that literature and philosophy have. Aside from being a social force, religion has the ability to guide individuals.

The fact that the majority use religion to excuse their looney excesses Jesus loves me even if I rip people off, whore around, and live as a useless parasite on the coattails of the productive! Many of the men and women who participate here study it and apply it to good ends. Guys like me jaded, admittedly see it as a collection of interesting stories and applied wisdom. Do we really need a debate about religion here?

There are blogs that deal with this issue. I am religious and I used to be an atheist. It can be maddening. Some simply cannot fathom any nuance; a position that would allow a man to be a Christian, devoted as you say to a family, and yet NOT be a dumb ass tradcon. Rest of us are ok on the mezzanine. Yes the tradcon thing is interesting to me. I go back and forth on that. They are tradcons, no? As for the old "No evidence that Jesus ever lived" canard.

From a historiographical perspective, if the independent evidence for the life, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth is too sparse to accept, then we have to reject every single thing we think we know about the ancient world. It seems to me you are using irony, showing the flaws of modern shallow religious movements when it comes to marriage.

You should at least edit this to let people know you are being ironic, and then tell them the truth in a direct way. Emotional affairs cannot be considered cheating.

However the only reason for divorce should be physical abuse, verbal abuse, adultery, or other extreme case by case situation. Verbal abuse is not a legitimate reason for divorce. It has no meaningful definition and, thus, means nothing.

In the branch of social psychology known as transactional analysis TA , people are modelled as operating from one of three ego states: Child, Adult, or Parent.

This is what everyone means when they say women now have adult rights but the obligations of children i. This is clearly a recipe for disaster: The relationship in which the Parent ego state is ideally almost entirely absent is Friendship. First I want to express my gratitude to Dalrock for this wonderful blog.

Much of what I have read the past couple of months since I discovered this blog I have thought about over the past few years of my life. I was a traditionalist with strong chivalristic tendencies, but am gradually shedding the chivalry for pragmatics. Women just have gone too far with their eradication of family values for the purpose of self-fulfillment. I am curious what my fellow Christian brothers who frequent this blog think about the sociology of church attendance.

I rarely see any single men at the non-denominational churches I have attended. The large church I recently gave up on has men at the top of the administrative hierarchy, but mostly women run the volunteer ministries.

Hence, since the only element in common was my faith in Christ, I stopped attending. Why do not more single men attend church? I believe there are many more single male Christians out there, but for some reason we are turned off by the church experience.

The large church I recently gave up on has men at the top of the administrative hierarchy, but mostly women run the volunteer ministries….. I believe there are many more single male Christians out there. My experience was completely opposite. Marriageable Christian women are in desperately short supply. I once organized a party for the over singles set at my former church. Every man who showed up, was never married, had no kids yet, was gainfully employed, in good physical shape, and not bad looking.

My take on it is that, when millions of older divorced men, remarry younger never married women and start second familes, they are creating a shortage. It could be a lot worse If this ever gets popular, the only way the average guy will be able to get a wife, will be by violence. Solomon You are mistaken I made the case that divorce is sinful except in the cases of physical violence and adultery.

In the passage I have provided from scripture God divorced israel for her adulteries with other gods. Now with the case that god that hates divorce, he condemns frivolous divorce. In the context of Malachi: You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.

In flesh and spirit they are his. Because he was seeking godly offspring. I offer a hypothesis for consideration. In Southern California, where being a Christian is an act of anti-social rebellion, we attract more men. It says it was deleted? I was just on her blog a few hours ago…. Very pragmatic here, Scripturally. This is what feminism has done within the churches and has effected it in every way, and form. This goes for all men, too.

Because men as a group are vilified and hated, and all the more the ones that are single. I even encounter it on blogs such as these.

Hatred and bigotry against men is very alive and well in church environments. The only useful function for a man in church according to most all in any form of leadership is to be in complete subjection to a woman and worship her as a god. Especially in this matter unfortunately , too many are using grace as a license to willfully sin much in these matters.

Marriage today is much like sacrifices were in Malachi 1 because of this. It even goes to taking the creation of men Marriage 2.

Or some other weird bug. They want to removal all sexual morality from Western culture. Manboobz has a thing for Sunshine Mary, which probably means things in the manosphere are going to escalate quickly into legal fights.

Because a lot of people just got libeled by the SPLC. The more likely explanation is that she got into an online catfight with some rabid feminist who threatened her, so she flipped out and deleted the blog. Women often behave like that. Possible, but ManBoobz I loathe even typing that really has harassed SSM in the past, so there might be more than we think going on. Also possible stuff filtered back.

Though a cat-fight response probably makes the most sense, though that cat-fight ended, I though, a few days ago.

Plus it was weird to have a blog disappear between pull-up sets. Have we lost SSM? I had a look at the SLPC site and it defines hate groups thus: While there are some in the manosphere who are like that, I think most are trying to improve the lot of their fellows.

One must assume then that feminists being unable to see the implications of their actions as causing problems for society is an immutable characteristic, and those who say that feminists are incapable of benefitting from education are in fact correct. It is clear that much of the manosphere hates women. Soon many of these hateful manosphere bloggers will be outed, publicly shamed and fired from their jobs.

That SPLC report has been out for a year. It drove a couple of sites offline, drove a few people underground, caused a ripple or two, but other than that, nothing. I think the manosphere is calling attention to the problems in the sexual marketplace and in frivorce. What some see as hate, I see as frustration and apprehension for the future. People expect a new blog entry almost daily and for you to engage with the or so comments on each entry.

I know that would overwhelm me. People delete their blogs for various reasons, usually good ones. The SPLC stuff was a year or so ago, so not proximate to this and an unlikely reason for it.

There are certainly forces that exist to silence dissent from the prevailing orthodoxies any way they can, and it may be that one of these impacted her, but it very well could be another good reason. Being controversial is not without consequence. I am fairly certain if my relatives found my blog they would disown me. Their specialty is guilt-by-association.

I liked and still like her parents. All the worst stories spoken about on this blog are true. The preacher sat about castigating men.

I actually got on this blog and posted about it in the comments here. Most surprisingly, I looked over, and saw this whole family in rapt attention just accepting what this asshole said.

In spite of it being Christmas, the manly qualities of the Jesus character were barely mentioned. A story was told, which was not the Jesus story, but a story about a poor woman who was abused by a man, and who is subsequently saved from poverty by another woman who orders her substandard husband around. The most bizarre part of this sermon was the tone and aura around the preacher.

It was like he was flirting with all the women in the audience. Christians here should study and form their own small groups, and forget about the preachers and the churches.

They are not your friends. I am sure SSM had a good reason for taking her blog down, whatever it was. I doubt the SPLC report had anything to do with it. Vascularity — 8oxer anecdotally describes, in a nutshell, what is wrong with the church in general.

Empower the women, shame the men. It may not have started as a campaign, but it certainly morphed that way as culture started to align with feminist philosophy.

Lack of male strength is maligned, but male supplication is taught, i. The campaign is smeared across the board too, as Sunshine Mary was exploring, looking for non-blue pill christian leadership and organizations. Good lord, I was chastised for even bringing it up.

It was good to see that not only was I not the only one, but the stories were eerily similar. You answered your own question in the paragraph preceding it. Another reason is because most young single men are men who were brought up in the faith and are there to meet a potential wife. So he loses interest after striking out, and crashing and burning, with some of the young single women. Single men are generally viewed very skeptically by the churches — generally either as predators, or as creeps, if they are not married or engaged to a woman.

The ones who are the exceptions are 1 the players, who are welcome because it is a feminized atmosphere, and women love players despite what they say to the contrary and 2 the eunuchs i. The churches are simply reflecting up the rot in the culture, and so for the most part they hold nothing in them for a man unless he fits the conforming role of being ensconced in a feminist Marriage 2. Unfortunately, these things are way overemphasized. Humility, meekness, servant leadership, etc.

So, there exists not a large supply of them anyway. It founders on the differences between the answer that Christ gave to the Pharisees in Matthew, and the answer He gave to His disciples in Mark and Luke. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. Just keeping the temperature down: My recall is even the ACLU told them they were going overboard, condemning rudeness, not true hate speech or advocacy of violence, e. So whatever is going on, that SPLC story is not a factor. While some blogs have vanished in the night, none that I know of were ordered to do so by a court or in relation to a court case.

But people devote time and effort to contribute comments there, not all of which are trash. And when you delete it, it all disappears without a trace. How can anyone use only these few narrowly defined criteria for allowable divorce? This is going to trap women in unhappy marriages. Push legislation to end Internet anonymity. What heartless dickhead would dare to oppose that idea? Quietly neutralize some bloggers by simply outing them. This happens from time to time.

Co-opt other bloggers by offfering them goodies book deal, mainstream media attention etc. Maybe if they had more or the teenagers out there all the time putting on bikini car washes. I see nothing wrong with SSM deleting her blog, for whatever reason. On a more serious note, I was a little disappointed that Joseph of Jackson shut his blog down. Alfred Mohler frequently takes care to excoriate single, unattached men as disgraceful failures and abominations.

It is the predominant judgment of heterosexual men even in the secular realm and especially in the feminist realm. Though feminists have taken every possible step to poison and sabotage male-female relationships, they most certainly judge male persons by this standard as well. A male person must still prove his worthiness and acceptability by demonstrating that a woman approves of him and will suffer his private company. Any male person who fails to provide evidence of female coupling approval is suspect.

Such suspect male persons are relegated to the marginal, untouchable caste. The issue for some people is that they build community in online spaces in the absence of a real community with like minded people IRL. One of the things I believe in doing is connecting outside of the blogosphere with those you build online relationships with whenever possible.

The main thing however, is to remember that this medium has some serous limitations and a person may be here today and gone tomorrow. Oh, and as for single men in the church. The reality is that the church can be an isolating place for a single male. Best Answer — Chosen by Asker You are such a good person fro not cheating on your husband, that is not having intercourse but if you think about it it seems you have made your mind up 5 months ago so that to me is cheating, for your sake I hope it all works out for your husband because he apparently deserves better.

I do respect him so I told him everything from the beginning. But he still wants me. If I had a wife that wanted to sleep with other dudes, there is really only one response.

I see the fembots have attacked Sunshine Mary to the point where she took down her blog. Nobody owes a bunch of strangers on the internet anything, obviously.

People can and should come and go as they please, taking the content which they created and which they own by default with them whenever they want. The author wrote well and displayed a good humor. Alte was being cyberstalked, cmd-org was being outed by political enemies, etc. We have to assume that SSM faced something simlar…. My input on this blog generated quite a few responses. As I kinda feel isolated regarding my feels of church acceptance isolation, I would like to thank: If not, explain the differences that would exist in your utopia.

Such as could women work? Could single women work but not once they got married? Or no working women at all? Would women committing adultery be stoned? Could women live on their own or would they be forced to never be autonomous?

Would women be locked in a room for the rest of their life for family honor if found to be sexually promiscuous? I hope that she is well, and I suspect that she just panicked for some reason. But a comment above reminded me of this passage from Bloggians 3: In a public place, a servant of the Lord erected a modest structure in which he placed a few writings.

Upon that structure he placed a sign proclaiming: Over time, many stopped and visited, as they had been invited. Some merely marveled that such a place could exist, and later told many, so they also could benefit from this blessing. Others helped to transform this modest structure into a grand cathedral. For every writing added by the original servant of the Lord, visitors added many hundreds, and the Lord was pleased.

Suddenly and without warning, the original servant of the Lord burned the structure to the ground. You were my caretaker! Were you scared or overwhelmed? In that moment, an onlooker, a vain, arrogant and self-righteous woman, shrieked: It was his house, his, his, his, and all those who helped build it were stupid, naive fools.

Why would they have thought that a chance would be given to safeguard their contributions elsewhere? And a wanderer who would have used this to find his way is obviously unworthy, and deserves nothing more than these charred remains. And then the Lord said: But the wicked woman did not hear, because she was busy making a halo for herself, from straw and dung.

A sacrament is for life, and cannot be reversed. If you understand the concept of a sacrament, you will understand the distinction the Church makes concerning marriages. The Catholic Church does not create legal marriages- the state does that. The Church simply witnesses the couple administering the sacrament to each other marriage is the only Sacrament that is not administered by a priest to assure that correct form is followed. The witnessing priest cannot know what is in the heart of the couple as they say their vows.

When the Church grants an annulment, they are merely saying that the sacrament was not validly administered. Because the couple were indeed married. They are only saying that the marriage did not rise to the level of a Sacrament, due to some impediment or incorrect form. And if they succeed at their marriage without it being a sacrament, good for them. The Church does not make judgements on the relationships of happily married people. A Declaration of Nullity is granted when the sacramental component of marriage is not achieved.

The only reason the Church demands it for remarriages is because a person cannot receive this sacrament a second time. Catholics believe that you cannot declare a valid sacramental marriage to be over- you can only declare it to have never been valid in the first place. Annulments petitions are heard by a Diocesan tribunal which is wholly separate from any Bishops. They are independent and the cost is nominal, usually a couple hundred dollars to pay for the administrative staff.

Canon lawyers argue the case for and against the annulment before a tribunal, just like a civil trial. Once a Diocesan-level decision is made, the case is reviewed by whatever Archdiocese has jurisdiction. Both must agree on the decision before it is finalized. Has it happened that there have been some shady decisions? A distinction without a difference. Bishop… tribunal that answers to the bishop… or not… or only sometimes… whatever.

I realize there are people who want to do the right things, but the process is heretical and corrupt at its roots. Annulments CAN be purchased.

The fact is that you can be married in a courtroom, in a church, or while skydiving. You can be married in front of a priest, a judge, or a Yorkshire Terrier although the state will obviously not recognize the marriage in the last case. If you say the vows and have sex — you are married. If you did not, then you are not married. If you did then you can get divorced and bear the consequences of that: The only common exception I can think of is if one party usually the bride falsely claims to be a virgin in order to get the other person to marry.

Not to get too graphic, but blood on the sheets is usually proof-positive that the bride was a virgin, although lack of blood is not conclusive proof that she was not. In the case of actual virginity fraud pre-cuckolding, if you will the vows were deliberately fraudulent and — I would think — not binding on the offended party as soon as the truth becomes known. Although I think the defrauded spouse could marry someone else without sinning at all , the guilty one could not remarry without committing adultery.

It appears therefore on a strict reading that there is no bar on women divorcing for any reason yet there is according to Tolstoy an absolute bar on men Divorcing their wives.

This seems a bit one-sided and rather Misandrist, yet rather ties in with modern practice, and is rather supportive of MGTOW. Where might you be going….. T really is getting a vicarious mental cyber-woody about this whole debacle.

Enthusiastic expectation of a bunch of outed manosphere writers, job losses, etc. I feel like I missed the Heinz Doofenshmirtz Evil aspect to her personality, choosing to see harmless and annoying only.

It was so well written and well researched. Being a single male, in church, over a certain age in my case, WAY over it is a certain kind of hell. When you add the shaming that still happens if you are male and divorced, you can double it. However, she has left the site up on the wayback machine. There is stuff there to be rescued, like her career advice for girls.

What do you think of using this in a marriage ceremony, so at least wives, and husbands, will know what they are supposed to be signing up for? Do you agree to accept the role of head of your wife?

Do you take this woman as your wife, willing to give her honor as the weaker vessel? Do agree that the husband does not have authority alone over his body, but the wife does, and that you must not deprive your wife of the affection due her, except it be for consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and come together again so that Satan not tempt you because of your lack of self-control?

Do accept the scriptural admonition to rejoice with the wife of your youth, and to always be enraptured by her love? Basically you start ignoring your wife, you never instigate any activities with her, you even stop telling her that you love her. You just ignore her. And then you start lifting weights, exercising, and finding a hobby. Reconnecting with a passion. You try to find a mission. And whatever you do you do not talk to your wife. You just let her wonder about you.

This is what standard blue pill marriage forums discovered, through much trial and error, as the only way to fix your marriage. I imagine the majority of women are busy thinking about their cash and prizes and wondering when they can start Eat, Pray, Loving it up. Sad that the men who are supposed to lead us into happy marriages are more concerned with pimping our own wives back to us. Cause this is hilarious! I would add to what GiL wrote to Fawn that finding a way to appreciate and grow the marriage they have is likely to make it more compelling, not just tolerable!

Where have you heard that work? This precisely the analogy I used when describing women who attempt to lead anything. They are not psychologically equipped for the task and it is irresponsible of men to behave otherwise. She is not Christian but she is pro-marriage. Perhaps it works for some. In refreshing my memory on her, I found the website of the Coalition for Divorce Reform http: It looks like the articles are good quality. I would argue that doing that in a proper manner would be using game principles, at least in the context of what Vox Day writes about.

Doing things to get your wife to value your approval can enable or even enact a form of dread in a good manner. I would liken it to the way Christians should not want to displease God.

Many do not today, which is a good reason many Christian women do not have the same proper view for their husbands. Adulteresses, homosexuals, and people who do NOT believe in the resurrection are openly calling themselves Christians and getting away with it. We are definitely in serious trouble.

I advocated against dating for just this reason. Josh Harris may get a lot of flack, but the principle is completely valid in spite the advocacy of some here that expecting chastity is unreasonable. Submission fantasies are getting a lot of attention now and have always been prominent in romance novels. Submission is sexy to the right man and under the right circumstances. Notice that the hero is always an incredibly good looking, usually wealthy, emotionally intuitive man who is obsessed with the heroine despite having a lot of other options.

Also, to the extent that it is at all possible, keep the government out of the union in the 1st place the State does NOT recognize God in a marriage and in the 2nd place I am unaware of any law requiring a marriage license for unions not recognized by the state. For best results she should be: Usually in the US all you have to do is disagree with her.

BradA, in a nutshell I would say psychology is a Godless, secular knowledge of how our sin natures work. Testing this I would suggest looking at the pragmatic side of game, how does it work? Does it work on the female sin nature specifically her lack of contentment? Does it take any Godly virtue to work? The answer Jesus demonstrated to us was the Cross. Death to the old self, not diddling with it in ourselves OR our wives. This death to self message was one of the first things the Evangelical Feminist ejected, with reason.

Psychology in practice is a human effort to fix something that Jesus had to come and die to fix. Mind frame has a great deal to do with this. On the other hand, even Sheila Gregoire manages to find being lead by her husband sexy sometimes.

What if his needs not her needs were the focus; It might read something like this: She vowed to let him have and hold which means unrestricted sexual access, she vowed to respect and obey him — yet she use passive aggression and emotional manipulate him to submit to her perceived desires she calls needs. Duties on the other hand have concrete aspects like husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her or Wives be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

Harley and his ilk have been fleecing the flock of God with their feminist sheers long enough. It may be time for the men of God to tell him to STFU, he has done enough to destroy marriage already.

Your best bet is probably to start going to another church preferably one more trustworthy , and invite her to meet socially. Or did I misunderstand you? I am heading into work and apologize for not having the time for a more thorough comment. I am a long time lurker who appreciates many of your opinions! I am surprised by your reaction to this author you cited. If you read his top ten emotional needs I believe he captures some truth there.

He recommends women stay thin, dress nicely, wear some make up, be physically affectionate, not nag, try to share pass times with their man.

I would think you would agree with most of his ideas, perhaps I am way off. The One who made the first wife made her to be a help, proper for the first husband. You seriously think your husband is about to make a very bad decision? How are you doing what you were created to do by the One who made us help him , if you avoid any engagement on the issue because your were taught to submit, rather than help? To be the helper they were created to be, wives need to have an informed opinion on many things.

Submission may be a part of helping you are submitting to assisting with his vision rather than yours , but helping is more than just submitting avoiding any input to his thought processes.

Helping may involve assisting him with developing a more proper vision — before you get to the part where you help him bring the vision to life. Give him the final say. He is the helped after all, and God created you to be the helper. If you think he is in error on something, give him an informed opinion of why you think that. Call in other rescources if you can and if you need to. You will know in your heart if your behavior reflects the behavior that the One who made us made you to perform.

You will know whether your desire is to genuinely build up your husband, or tear him down. You will know the difference in your own heart. JDG, whatever they claim to be I am not. They are the eternal entrants and defilers, whatever else they may claim to be. Let one claim to have laid down their life for Jesus Christ their Lord and Savior and that they no longer live but Christ in them.

The best indicator of the future is the past. Currently, is she happy to let you make decisions on what to do? Does she do things specifically because you asked her to? Do you hear her repeating your opinion to other people? Pod, does her mother submit to her father? Is her mother a drama queen or is she content. Does her mother appear affectionate towards her dad? Does dad seem like a patriarch or a miserable slave?

He is a bit of a window into your possible future with her and her mom is what she may likely be. Would you be happy married to her mother in 25 years her without the looks?

We have a God of the Living, not the Dead. His Church is alive, not dead. Those who abandon sound teaching will be refined or removed like dross, but God will keep His Own. That is our Hope, that is our future, and that is the Truth. Rather then nag or boss around rather use charm or seduction. There was a rather big tiff about using the word seduction but I think that was mostly coming from a troll.

Or possibly a feminist entryist. I think that one of the biggest effects of feminism is debasing the feminine talent of charm. Still I have to wonder how did my grandparents generation fail so badly to teach us about our own nature? You are correct that sexiness is not a biblical litmus test. Yet, it remains true that you are almost certainly doing it wrong.

Your attitude here is a constant attempt to reframe and be contentious. I find it hard to believe your attitude is different elsewhere. It is assumed in Genesis as well, otherwise Peter and Paul would not have taught this. Does the opinion of their husband you know, the guy the Bible instructs wives to ask if they want to inquire about something count as informed? Absolutely agree, but I have yet to read anything written here that has indicated otherwise.

I think you are referring to your straw man above. This is whats wrong with feminist thinking. Call in other resources if you can and if you need to. Why are you counseling women to follow their hearts rather than the Word of God?

Do you actually believe that women are inherently good and, unlike men, can trust in their hearts and lean on their own understanding in spite of scriptural admonitions not to do so. How is it that SHE will know whether her desire is genuine and building up ie: She is the one who must correct his errors and wrong direction.

She must keep him out of stupid decisions. That is also a complete error in focus. A wife should generally speak up when the husband is headed a really bad path, but words in that context will be much less welcome if he is always being told he is doing it wrong.

That then becomes nagging, not helping. She may even be right, possibly even much of the time, but she is not helping if she is merely a nag. Her husband will either stop trying to lead or will always have to battle for any decision.

That would not be useful in the slightest and would instead undermine the husband rather than build him up. That kind of sergeant is what most Christians encourage wives to be these days.

Ironically many of those same individuals will complain that sitcoms make men look stupid, yet they do the same thing! Women are not more spiritual than men, even if they are more emotional.

The latter can be a huge detriment in spiritual things and is something many Christian leaders completely overlook. As I wrote in the OP, I agree with the value of focusing on restoring attraction over mere conflict resolution. The problem there is he is prescribing more poison as the antidote. In part one he tells us he is speaking directly to women who have good husbands but have lost the tingle. In part two he reinforces this:.

Marriage is under assault, and he steps in pretending to help but instead throws gasoline on the fire. Can you not see why doing this in an effort to sell more products is all the more evil? How many kids are suffering because Dr. Harley wants to sell the tingle to mommy? How many millions more would be suffering if every wife he wants to kick the father of her children out of the home followed his instructions.

What would this man have to do to lose your support? How evil would he have to be? If your bible stops after the fifth chapter of Genesis, you really should take it back for a refund. Yes, get some people who agree with you to gang up on your husband and put him in his place. We come back to the same old unanswerable question: How do I know God is speaking in my heart and the devil is speaking in theirs?

Then this is where we differ. I see game as nothing more than principles that are valid for the most part in life. In the same way, I am working on implementing the principles of good relationships to my relationship with my wife. The one I am working the most on now is to not let myself get angry enough to yell.

I may act appropriately in response to foolish action, but keeping my cool is a key part of what I see in game. It is also effective in many parts of life, including a husband — wife relationship.

Psychology may try to use such things without any reference to the spiritual, but that does not negate the principles. It just means they are only acting on a partial principle. Should I stop working hard, treating people well, etc. That would be idiotic. I would note that my own marriage was saved in large part when I finally got over feeling sorry for myself when all 4 of my adopted children bailed on me as their father.

I still hate that and it is an ongoing sore spot, but I have made a choice I will not gripe and moan about it or otherwise let it keep me down. This makes me a practitioner of a kind of dread, but it is built in. I was born with a very strong will.

I imagine I am similar to many of the strong willed ones here. I seek the truth and will conform my life to that. I will not go the wrong way for almost any reason. That is a key part of game, operating under a firm conviction.

I have long sense gotten past blaming God for the way He made me, I just do my best to funnel it to carry out as much of His will as I can and regularly repent of things I do that go outside that. Part of the curse on Eve was that her desire would be to rule over her husband just as sin desired to rule Cain, same word. That was in the first part of Genesis and lays the foundation for what we have today. Dalrock You are correct that sexiness is not a biblical litmus test.

The reframing is just because I see things differently. Charming women are unique as each is charming in her own way, but extreme sexuality is all the same.

Feminism has a few benefits and a lot of drawbacks. I expect to self publish it and probably give it away for free. I planned on posting a link to it here to get everyone to tell me how I was wrong. I can then fix any of that which I agree needs adjusting. I think God did this deliberately to emphasize how our mortal life matches up to eternity. In this world we are free to do as we will, yet the best thing for us is to deny ourselves and force ourselves into submission to Christ.

BradA, I have been looking for a positive aspect of pairing psychology as a base of knowledge with the Body of Christ for quite a while and have really yet to find one. The part I get stuck at is where we become new creatures and old things passing away. Do we need to understand those things? But knowing about what the laws are and the ways they are enforced in family courts domestic violence lies included I have to wonder how anyone can actually expect me to get married today.

I just gain nothing. Even if I meet a woman and she wants to sign some type of Marriage 1. To marry these horrible women. And they started trying to set me up immediately. I nexted three perfectly good plates so I could meet my baptismal covenants are the end of last year. And the best one was a 21 year old non single mother. And less used up. She was fun to be around and had gone to school for massage therapy. Even with her trying to demand it in her womanly fashion.

The central thesis of the book is that wives desire love and men desire respect. My wife picked this idea up and ran with it: At the same time, I started thinking seriously what it meant to lead in the marriage and household. The difference this made in our marriage was noticeable. Between us, we talked more, we had sex more, we prayed more.

Often because I made it happen. Within the house, we both felt stronger. She felt stronger and more confident, because she was following my lead and could feel my strength, and I because I was actually leading and being honoured for it. Now, I probably have it easier than some. But for us, it works. Fretting in your mind is the wrong foot, badly. Instead, start leading her. Not necessarily this exact example, but notice how it: Then continue in that vein.

Stay single, never marry or cohabitate with a women nor have children. A rational man has no other realistic option. Knowing what I know now about marriage and divorce laws, and female nature, I could never get married.

The best that a man could hope for is an FWB, life-long casual dating or serial monogamy. I sure think you are wrong. I have seen even young men with obese wives. Do they really find that attractive? I think they had low self-esteem, thinking they did not deserve a decent, mature, self-controlled wife. I did hear it in a recorded sermon. The girl playing it was from a Full Gospel Brethren? Sorry, no idea of who it was.

But it does happen. This made me think of Romans Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

LOL… do you seriously expect someone to believe this? I see clueless women all around. They have no idea how to be feminine, so they use sexual provocativeness instead.

They have no idea how to charm to get their way or are far too lazy to be charming, so they nag instead. You can claim they have the knowledge but choose not to use it. But I see little femininity. And for myself at least, a non-feminine woman will be little capable of effective charm. Shit on a plate, regardless of the presentation, is still shit on a plate. I think that is a great insight. Certainly a good exhortation to have the correct priorities now while we have the opportunity.

This is something I have stated here before, and still believe. Others here will argue with you, but you are in fact correct. It is not marriage. And I know of no way to force the government to accept that these two people made a Biblical marriage covenant over which the government has no veto power. You asked what I am planning to do. I vacillate between saying: Those 4 include married and inappropriate for me.

Family trust, if it can work. Splitting income from my company so that we have the same official income levels. But then reality, like your comments on our laws, interfere with this optimism. I still may pursue this path anyway however.

It is very easy to find a woman who is feminine, at least on the outside, in eastern Europe. So it is at least possible to start to think of a relationship with them. If she is obedient to the Bible, at least in visible ways Deut No claim to have bright ideas on solving the marriage situation. No mention of the obesity epidemic at all. Certainly not from Harley as that would dilute his snake oil but also no mention in the ever so erudite commentariat.

The foundation of every manosphere issued is dominated by female obesity. It is the root of everything. Women, even fat women, are delaying marriage and blowing up their marriages. How is their obesity causing that? How is it causing them to be bossy and aggressive? Thanks for pointing to it.

Dale I sure think you are wrong. I met a young pastor the other week who was pudgy, nerdy, and his wife is fat. They also have a 6 month old child. Good for him, and shame on you. Yes, we have case discussions. With the patient anonymized. If we write them up, we HAVE to both anonymize and get consent.

And if challenged in public about a case — frequently when things have gone horribly wrong — all we can say is that we cannot talk about it. It takes a judicial directive to do otherwise. These rules are to protect the vulnerable. And I am not giving them away or promoting them until they have been tested. Controlled, single blind trial tested.

If we become a TV huckster such as Dr Z we get caned at best or struck off at worst. Thirdly, we try not to do harm. Sometimes we fail in this goal, abjectly. Anyone who has seen the ten thousand or so people it takes to become competent has seen things go wrong and learned to manage these things.

He claims to be licensed. He claims to have run CMHTs. I note that google scholar cites his various books and some psychology papers involving hypnosis from the s. What he is, however, is added to my fairly short list of shonky psychologists I monitor.

Along with John Read, and some over very stupid Foucaultians, i think he causes more damage. He would be better to leave people on a wait list. Do we ever see stuff. Every psychiatrist I know needs mind bleach, including me. Let me get this straight: He then gives women the tools to go ahead with said break-up with a well-worn technique of crushing the husband.

The hypocrisy is breath-taking. If I remember my civics correctly … it was originally life, liberty and property, but was changed to avoid giving additional weight to slavery. And they were trying to stir up a revolution that only a minority of Americans supported. In Christ, we do not live per se , but per fidelis.

Christ himself lived in Rome, but conspicuously did not do as the Romans did. This blog is a warning to those contemplating marriage from a man who has been married since early Thanks for the comments. I do not consider state marriage to actually be marriage at all. My church officials apparently have no desire to fix straight marriage. Rather they are investing their time and money into fighting gay marriage. His wife has been using the threatpoint against him for a decade.

If he can come out of this less scathed and not be reduced to a shell of a man living in a studio apartment he has a chance to find a woman who appreciates what a good man he is. How can it be? How can marriage 2.

Not this fraudulent state slave contract. Pod If you see a woman you want, go get her. In other words, live a full life. Girls will take care of themselves. Do not live in fear of anything but God. Do a search in the Bible on courage. Even Moses had to be reminded to take courage as did Joshua, then he reminded the people to take courage. Even David told Solomon to be strong and courageous. Be bold, be strong, be courageous and the girls will take care of themselves.

You are operating in fear of some punk pastor boy. Let it not be so. Cail Corishev, The reason obese women find a man is that most women are obese. Men have no other choice. I lived in Seattle long ago at age Classic beta in every way. I got to the point where I was so freaking physically needing flesh that I nearly took the whale ride.

I almost just gave in to it. I left the country instead. Years later I see that most friends are simply into whales.

The SMV of lb. Women are blowing up their marriages because the market allows them to. If a woman stays at lbs. The obesity of other women, that is. Inflated SMV allows women to dominate marriages. A pounder knows she can still get men and if she wants to drop 20 pounds to get to maybe by cutting down from her 3 pounds a day sugar habit to one pound a day then she will become a serious player and she knows it.

Most of them are getting through life as sugar addicts. It is all such a freaking disaster. Every guy gets his. I saw absolute slobs poor too walking around with Penthouse caliber tail in Brazil. The balance of power is just so skewed.

The more unattractive a gender becomes, the more powerless the opposite gender is. I did leave that guy a bit of advice and it was basically to not become a self-fulfilling prophecy. He has worked to make his marriage work better, and it is working better as a result. I know he is looking at it as a countdown to being rid of his wife, and he may still end up with that decision at the time he thinks is appropriate for that, but that time is not close, and given that his marriage has improved as much as it has, he ought to be open to the possibility that it continues to do so, rather than locking himself in mentally to an outcome that, in the future, may not be justified, and doing it anyway due to pride, etc.

I mean, very bad circumstances to marry in, making it a low odds marriage to begin with, but now that he is actually married and has a kid and his marriage has improved and seems to be continuing to do so. At some point you kind of have to get on with life, rather than acting as if the future is a foregone conclusion, or pining for the life you do not have.

No way to live, really. Minus that it should be a 13th Amendment violation. Involuntary Servitude, not quite Slavery. The dating sites are full of women over 40 years and pounds who still claim to be picky. I think you may be onto something, so I hope you develop the idea more, making direct connections to other manosphere issues as you say.

I could easily see your theory being used as a way to shift the blame back to men, by the way: This document had, inter alia,. The reason is they tend to credit themselves with the quality of their wives and marriages, not seeing it likely has more to do with their wives efforts than their own. Most marriages can be improved dramatically and quickly if the wife simply resolves to be kinder, and the husbands will usually respond accordingly.

How the hell is a man supposed to enforce the rules when he has no rights, not even in his own house and when the culture is so anti-male? Being single is bliss. Maybe I have a low sex drive, but I find it easier to be celibate than try to get it up for an obese, pierced and tattooed woman. Most of whom also have loud, obnoxious personalities. Many of whom are single mothers to boot. For me, such modern American women have zero sex appeal. Were I in his shoes I would stand strong and do my best to obey the Lord.

I would not bow to her threats or let her bully or nag me. If I was sure of impending doom, I would make preparations for the worst, but I would not participate in the divorce. She would have to do it without my consent and without my signature. First, I think female obesity is a symptom, rather than the root. It is a symptom of unchecked contempt for men. It is not unique, but rather similar to any other deliberate choice to reduce their marriage value that is unchecked by consequences.

The root is contempt for men. Obesity is merely one of the easily recognized manifestations thereof. For your later comments 8: It would apply equally well to any manner in which women deliberately lower their value however, not just obesity.

One item specific to obesity would be the hormonal changes you mentioned. I desire sex almost every morning, but still I did not find it too difficult to resist inappropriate marriage. Sure, I have a strong desire for marriage. But when I see the women available, I am not attracted to most of them. Any man capable of understanding that there is no point to buying a car that does not run, regardless of how badly he wants a car, should find it easier to resist an inappropriate woman.

Which unfortunately is most of them. Thanks for reminding of those tips Andrew re giving leadership. Many say this is important for keeping her attraction up. Yeah, I am not convinced it is wrong to tell a man to leave a marriage. And note that of the million or whatever people who were removed, I think only about 70, came back.

The rest apparently did not repent and thus did not come back to the land of Israel. Technically, it was their children and grandchildren who came back, but still, it was far less than the whole remaining group. The problem comes when a Christian man is advised to leave a wife and then marry another woman. A wife must not separate from her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. The above does not say a man cannot leave. That may be necessary for righteous living, or for training. Similar to God forcing Israel away. One may argue that getting a civil divorce to protect himself from her financial foolishness is also acceptable; not sure if I can promote this. But divorcing and feeling free to pursue another woman? That is a problem. In that case, the husband of course will be free to marry another woman, since the first wife is dead.

And I think it is good for you to advise men to not sacrifice themselves needlessly on a bad marriage. No, you are not unusual in this. Many, I think most, men are unable to be sexually attracted to an obese women. If I had sexual arousal, but then saw an obese woman, I would very rapidly lose the arousal. Which would make sex in marriage impossible. Maybe with the lights off, so I could not see the disgusting image??? I think this is a massive part of what drives Viagra. If wives were healthy, they would be attractive, and therefore the man would naturally respond positively to his wife.

Instead, he naturally and correctly responds negatively to the unhealthy and disgusting image. What if she already has? But, but, he has a PhD! From back during the Viet Nam War! And a book written when Reagan was President! Plus some papers from the same time! I think the men in this group easily forget that there are men who are great at attracting women, but are terrible husbands, and their wives often end up leaving them too, but for different reasons. I have often wondered how women manage to be sooooo overweight and now it comes so early too.

I am a long term expat. Yet, the young Western women still waddle around with an excess pounds sometimes and none of them shed any weight either. My point is similar to yours;. But how in the heck are year olds so overweight? They would have to want to be that heavy given their youth and metabolism. They must insist on three pounds a day.

Go for a walk maybe? But you have to want to be that overweight, especially at a young age. Of course it will be blamed on men after this or that amount of hamster work. It will get there for sure.

That would get her all kinds of omega dick. Not to mention young white idiots trying to emulate their Af-Am idols by becoming chubby chasers. I am actually losing interest in the manosphere with all due respect.

I admire the elocution or Rollo, Heartiste, Dalrock etc. The extraordinary PUA vulcan mind tricks etc would not be necessary at all. It would be a level playing field.

I know how much difference it makes when the women are competing too. This was Rio too. I was with some big-time women back then, not to be confused with a Western schlub in a South Asian, third world slum. I was legit in big-time clubs getting my share of attention. They are healthy women in Rio.

The lower class girls are out in their bikinis too, pressuring the upper class girls. All this eloquence, logic and insight. If they lose a woman they can easily get another one, and they do. They are this way because people like Dr. The mere fact that she is nice to him, or that she is having sex with him, does not mean she is sexually attracted to him.

Kindness and sexual attraction are two different things. My point is just that it is important to diagnose properly. I just thought this particular subject was men and whether or not their wives like being married to them.

His advice is a disaster all the way around. Overly alpha husbands as you describe would benefit from generating more comfort.

Like he says in the post, these men tend to simply walk once their wives pull this stunt. Russia is a perfect example. Russian men are the laughingstock of the entire world, derided as drunk, impotent, chain-smoking, ill, useless cannon fodder, whereas Russian women are pretty much the most sought commodity on the planet. Western men are willing to actually travel there and pay huge amounts of money just to have sex with them. I get your point now. I wonder how many of the comments were written by people who have actually read his books.

It seems that there are a lot of people talking about the flawed logic and his desire to sell his books, but how many have actual real life experience with anything he is suggesting? I only found his books after divorcing my husband and my marriage was practically written into the pages of his book. Had I read his book sooner my marriage may have been saved.

So to all the people that want to trash him without even trying his approach…good luck. Perhaps you should write a book and fill the pages full of your grand ideas about love. A great many of the men around here have gone through divorces, and some of these seem very familiar with the scam-artist in question.

There are some pretty good books available. One brother named Rollo has a couple of books out also. Truly shocking to read that men leave their socks all over the floor.

Sadly that level of spousal abuse is what routinely fills the pages of the average Divorce Petition. It usually goes something like this:. What could be fairer and more equitable than that for I am convinced that men deliberately hide their sock-abandoning habits until after the marriage has been entered into. No woman has to my knowledge ever been known to leave her underwear in anything other than in neat piles and certainly not on the floor, at least such accusation has never yet I am sure I can confidently state been found in any Petition for Divorce.

AR — JDG, one question: I find that women do all kinds of things for no reason, at least none that make any sense. In my experience as one who has participated in this kind of ministry on and off for several years , most of the time if she is going to cheat she will just do it, not talk about it beforehand.

It changes my tactic, not my opinion. God still hates divorce, but as Dale so effectively explained above, a biblical argument can be made that the adulteress has broken the marriage covenant and is spiritually dead, thus freeing the husband to marry again.

If I were married to a woman whom I KNEW not merely suspected was already cheating, I would prayerfully confront her and insist that she repent and show signs of genuine repentance. If she refused, I would prayerfully separate from her. If it became necessary for reasons that currently escape me to legally divorce her, I suppose I could do that too. However, I would still consider her my wife, or more accurately my estranged wife, and I would not pursue another relationship.

I think I have heard all the marriage divorce arguments. Instead of setting herself up as judge and jury over her husbands behavior socks and kids , a wife should metaphorically and ofttimes literally be in the kitchen making him sammiches and focused on how to better help her husband. As a feminist, you could use a stint in the kitchen yourself. That poor man, if only he had known had he changed his behavior his unfaithful wife would have remained faithful.

Putting a loaded gun to your head and pulling the trigger will most likely end your head ache, but I still see no reason for you to try it. There are much safer solutions. Haley says wives should do everything they think their husbands want for 30 days, while secretly planning to separate?

Then hope he comes groveling back? There have been many fine comments, and some not so fine, on this thread. There is one idea I have not seen stated explicitly. Haley is a PUA. He seduces women to blow up their marriages. And telling women when they should make love to their husbands? Any wife who surrenders her sexuality to a man other than her husband is an adulteress, even if there is no genital contact involved.

At least Roosh and Roissy get a wet wick out of their seductions. Haley has only the nihilistic pleasure of destroying lives and marriages. At least Roissy admits he is immoral. Granted, getting back to doing the damn job will require different things from different spouses, but it should always start there, and usually should stop there too.

It means he neglected to give her gina tingles. Just make her life comfortable, be unrelentingly nice to her, and do everything her way. Women have the ability to become resentful about anything when they decide a man is no longer good enough for their hypergamy. On the other hand, women will put up with amazing things so long as a man is meeting their hypergamy. Back in the last century I knew a man who ran some apartments. These were typically one-bedroom student dumps, with a few two-bedrooms.

He had a reduced-rent deal with a man who lived in one of his units in exchange for some basic maintenance work as needed, because the tenant was good with tools. That tenant was also a motorcycle rider, and had a fairly regular rotation of women in and out of his place, sometimes they lived there for a while. Because he rode older bikes, he owned more than one. Typically one was working for sure, one might be iffy, and one was always being worked on. Not the same bike was worked on, it would depend on what had busted lately.

This man lived in a one bedroom apartment with a cheap tile floor, and there were two things that could always be found in there: Apparently motorcycle parts, random oil, his beard and average-at-best hygene was not enough to generate resentment in any of his little rotating stock of girlfriends.

Probably in part that was due to the fact that he could apparently replace any given woman with another one in short order, and I suspect everyone involved knew it. And little bleached-blonde Daisy Duke asking the man of the house if he wants a beer with his sandwich…. Gotta call complete BS on that. Sure they will complain — women always do, pay it no mind. It is the nature of women. Just like it is their nature not to value what they have.

Check what they are saying against your own experiences and see if you can see examples in your life. I enjoy women, married, single, whatever — because I understand them and use that understanding to enjoy life. You can use it to improve yours — or not. Thanks, Doc, I like having my cake and eating it too!

Best to make it look like daddy is leaving the kids. Plus, kids must always be better off with mommy. I have a medical degree and a fellowship think Boards and a research Masters… and needed a current research track record to get an academic job. At least where I live and teach — not in the top universities in the world , but in the top That is not harsh. That is the market. If you are not making research, you are a consumer of research.

And being active for your PhD 30 years ago does not count. June 6, at 1: Actually many of us here HAVE had plenty of experience with women who attempt to crush us, humiliate us in public, abuse their positions of power, demand that we grovel for many reasons — sex, access to our own children, to continue our jobs, if you have a female boss.

Pretty soon you will see that it is sick in a psychopathic way. American women would be stuck with New Guinean tribesman. Russian males would have to go for fat British women or something. But my point is talking about cultures in which the genders are somewhat walled up with each other.

Korea, Brazil etc, a combination of geographic and cultural isolation. Look at how keen the competition is amongst the women for the men there. Yeah, I agree that too many men are naive about what they are internationally. For all my faults and mistakes in dealing with women, at least there was some core inside me that resisted my apparently pre-ordained role as a beta with a fattie.

I resisted that, kicking and screaming, spent my life overseas instead. I cannot understand how a man could ever endure handing his life over to a fat woman.

There is so much out there in the world that is better. With the internet, the manosphere, easy international travel, there is no excuse for a man these days not to know what his options are; and choosing like a man. A guy should pick up his 20 year old Indonesian at age 50 and walk down the street proudly, not get shamed into bailing out the lb 48 year old divorcee just to duck cultural shaming. I love his book… and his other book on Love Busters or something.

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