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The one you write too about everything. Not sure if this is the right forum or Timmins horny women but looking for single pregnant women, although if you're in a relationship that is fine as well.

No boys, thank you.

AAAGH i love your webcomic. Though i had an outstandingly difficult time reading the 5th and 6th panels, haha. Keep up the good work, i look forward to every new chapter! Wild moose are rampaging! Still working out a balance of how drawly the Commander can be before people tune out. I make no apologies for Canadian guy though. None of that is at all true. And yes, it is incredibly cold I do conveniently live up north. In fact, America has more rednecks than Canada. Dunno if you actually know anything about your country.

I see now though, that Canadian Guy is pretty much just a beefier, harrier, cooler version of the Commander.

Which makes it somewhat less offensive. It occurs to me now that the first sentence of my reply gets contradicted throughout the duration of the reply. Realize, of course, that Commander calling Canadian guy a frostbitten redneck is his personal opinion of the guy who is essentially his rival. Tis but a comic. Well, I live d in Northern B. We were about as Canadian as it can get. And I admit, there are a lot of flannel jacket wearing, beard toting, in shape men.

Except the thing about bears…. And maybe bush parties. You see him wrassle a damn moose to the ground? At least where I come from. You have a terribly narrow minded way of looking at things. Not my fault the people in your part of the world resent fun.

And Redneck women are never that hot. I am offended at your commentary on rednecks. You need to chill out. She was making a joke, so put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait- Do you have something against rednecks?

As one of those quiet border-crawling Canadians, I know little of this redneck debacle. Personally, I love the depiction. The concept of Canada using me as a front for their secret moose-wrestling rings is hilarious. I hope these 8 years have granted you some perspective on the subject. To the author of the comics: Pretty sure I met Canadian guy when I was younger. The only thing we are missing is Hockey, though i suppose that could be substituted with curling.

Aqctually a lot of Americans come to canada because the drinking age here is 18 and across the border its So they come to canada just to actually go to bars and stock up on beer. Open your eyes I see Your eyes are open Wear no disguise for me Come into the open…. The accents are fine for me, personally; it's the font size that I have trouble reading. Hetalia ruined it for everybody who wants to personify the essence of other countries with its endless Ladyboy hooker interpretations of the different nations.

I definitely count it as a plus that it lacks the meatwall manliness… I count it as a minus that it also lacks sufficient female country representation. Canada man actually reminds me a lot of aquaman from Brave and the Bold. Which is pretty freaking awesome. He has the most accurate backwater Northern Canadian accent I can present you with, I just took my own accent cultivated after 18 years of life in Northern Canada and transcribed it at its maximum drawliest.

Your voice seems like a more Northernly version of mine. Although mine is a little different because my family are mainly natives and they speak a lot more differently. Lol that is so cute! But I never really noticed our accents until one of my americano friends pointed it out to me. Do you still live in Gillam or did you move? Moved when I finished grade I read the whole works from beginning to last Monday in two sittings last night.

I laughed so much my belly hurts. To me it could mean a few things. A Robot Unicorn is a video game. B Killing robot Unicorns in combat.

Canadians are apparently better equipped. D Robot Unicorn is slang for sex. Which is pretty understandable. E Any combination of the above F All of the above at the same time. Or Maybe his Robot Unicorns have high scores in games. Or The Canadian beat his Robot Unicorn pets in a fight.. I could go on for days, really. Between drinking maple syrup and playing hockey, moose wrestling is amongst the most popular sport there. And way to reference Robot Unicorn Attack, I bloody love that game.

Being a Canadian myself, this character is the most accurate picture I can paint of the kind of people I grew up around in Northern Manitoba. Canadian stereotypes always seem to focus on the people who apologize for everything and omit the guys who get drunk and try to gun their skidoos over the lake in summer, tool around on the ice in pickup trucks, and kill bugs with flaming aerosol spray cans.

But what about the lumberjacks? I admit I had to do a double-take on Canada stupid Hetalia and my curiosity to see what all the fuss was about. Daring to have a higher score than the Commander! We have now learned that there are some pseudo-natural habitats for some kinds of macho man in the complex.

I just thought of something. The possibilities are scary. Theoretically they could have time travel in the present in this world. Never thought of that. It would be too funny if the guy he hated was his great great oh so many greats grandad.

Robot unicron a game for manly men! That song will be stuck in my head all day long, now. Although, now I get to picture the commander wandering around the office humming it helplessly under his breath and that makes me feel better. See, the first thing I imagine when somebody says drunken canadian is Wolverine. Two canadians are louder than one. I semi-relate to Jared not as whiney though so I find him incredibly amusing.

And he has maple syrup, which rocks but should not be used when you have grape juice, because the sweetness is overpowering. You are truly a master. Also, I love how there is so much going on in the background. I agree with whoever said the Canadian guy looks like a beefy Billy Mays. Manliest game around, endorsed by Courage Wolf. Pallet-swapped Commander is your dad? Who pointed that out though? You just have to hear it. I want to see the Commander punch back soon.

I know how you feel. I live in Michigan. And despite not being Canadian, whenever my dad watches a Canadian hockey game he sings the anthem, well, the English parts. He never does that for the American one! With your Tim Hortons and maple syrup, darn you! This is an image of the average Idahoan, for those of you from less manly locations and unfamiliar with us. I was skeptical at first but now I see this is truly about MEN.

As a Canadian, I always enjoy seeing jokes made about Canadian stereotypes.

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At night the sea, all around the ship, exhibited a most delightful sight. This appearance was occasioned by the gambols of an incredible number of various kinds of fish, who sported about us, and whose sudden turnings caused an emanation which resembled flashes of lightning darting in quick succession. What I before spoke of as the spawn, I am now fully convinced were rather the fish themselves, turning up their white bellies at some little distance below the surface of the water, and these sudden evolutions were what gave the sea the luminous appearance observed on it before.

I can the more readily affirm this to be the cause, as, one evening, when we had immense quantities about us, I carefully attended to them till it became dark, and was fully satisfied, from the observations I was then able to make, that it was the fish, and not the spawn, which occasioned the appearance; for there was not an officer or person on board but what was able very plainly to perceive their frolicsome turnings and windings.

Indeed, some of them came so near the surface that we frequently attempted to strike them with a pair of grains. Being informed that several of the mariners and convicts on board the Alexander were suddenly taken ill, I immediately visited that ship, and found that the illness complained of was wholly occasioned by the bilge water, which had by some means or other risen to so great a height that the pannels of the cabin, and the buttons on the clothes of the officers, were turned nearly black by the noxious effluvia.

When the hatches were taken off, the stench was so powerful that it was scarcely possible to stand over them. How it could have got to this height is very strange; for I well know that Captain Phillip gave strict orders which orders I myself delivered to the masters of the transports to pump the ships out daily, in order to keep them sweet and wholesome; and it was added that if the ships did not make water enough for that purpose they were to employ the convicts in throwing water into the well, and pumping it out again, until it become clear and untinged.

The people's health, however, being endangered by the circumstance, I found a representation upon the subject to Captain Phillip needful, and accordingly went on board the Sirius for that purpose. Captain Phillip, who upon every occasion showed great humanity and attention to the people, with the most obliging readiness sent Mr. King, one of his lieutenants, on board the Alexander with me, in order to examine into the state of the ship, charging him, at the same time, with the most positive and pointed instructions to the master of the ship instantly to set about sweetening and purifying her.

King executed with great propriety and expedition; and, by the directions he gave, such effectual means were made use of, that the evil was soon corrected: Balmain, my assistant's care, got quite rid of the complaint. I now returned to the Sirius and solicited an increase of water, which Captain Phillip with equal readiness complied with; and as we had by this time got into a regular south-east trade wind our allowance served tolerably well, every man having three quarts a day.

The weather moderate and cloudy, in lat. At night, the commanding officer of marines having re ceived information that three men had made their way, through the hole cut for the admission of the windsail, into the apartment of the female convicts, against an express order issued for that purpose, he apprehended them, and put them in confinement for trial. The weather being dark and cloudy, with heavy rain and strong breezes, the Sirius carried away her main-topsail-yard, in the slings, which, however, in a little time she got replaced.

In the evening we saw some grampuses sporting about. Strong breezes and cloudy weather. The Borrowdale victualler carried away her foretop-gallant-mast.

This evening we observed some flying fish, very different from those we had before seen. They had wings on both the head and tail, and when in the act of flying were said by our people to resemble a double- headed shot.

About six o'clock the Alexander brought to, and hoisted out a boat in order to pick up a man who had fallen overboard from the spanker boom; but, as he sunk before the boat could reach him, the attempt proved ineffectual. The Sirius made the signal to close and keep nearer the commanding officer. The weather rainy and unsettled, with strong breezes and a heavy swell from the eastward. Fresh breezes and cloudy weather.

At ten in the morning the Sirius made the Supply's signal to come within hail, and desired the commanding officer to acquaint the different transports that in the track we then were, lat. This signal was followed by one for the ships to take their proper stations in the order of sailing, and for the Lady Penrhyn , who was considerably to windward, and astern withal, to come into the wake of the Sirius.

After these orders were complied with, we bore away, steering S. The Supply hailed us, and acquainted me that a female convict, on board the Prince of Wales , had met with an accident which endangered her life. It being then nearly dark, and the ships making quick way through the water, it was judged imprudent to hoist a boat out. Lieutenant Ball, of the Supply , therefore promised to send a boat early in the morning, in order that I might go and see her: Her death was occasioned by a boat, which rolled from the booms, and jammed her in a most shocking manner against the side of the ship.

Captain Phillip for the first time displayed his broad pendant; and in the evening made the signal for the longitude, which, being considerably astern, we could not discern. Early in the morning we passed and spoke a Portugueze brig steering the same course with us, which was to the coast of Brazil. She sailed so very dull that we passed her as if she lay at anchor, although we had not a fast sailing ship in the fleet.

At eight in the morning saw a ganet, which are seldom seen out of soundings. Being now in expectation of soon seeing land, the commodore made the Supply's signal to look out ahead, and the Alexander's and Prince of Wales's to take their station in the order of sailing, being too far ahead.

At three in the afternoon the Supply made the signal for seeing land, which was repeated by the commodore to the convoy. At nine at night, being well in with Cape Frio, we shortened sail, running at an easy rate until morning, when the wind was little and variable.

This evening, finding it impossible to get hold of anchorage, the commodore dispatched Lieutenant King in the Supply , which sailed well in light winds, to the viceroy, with information that he was, with his convoy, arrived near the mouth of the harbour. He then made the signal for the ships to bring to, with their heads to the southward, about six miles from the shore, Rio de Janeiro Sugar Loaf bearing west half north, distant about six leagues.

In the course of the day we saw many whales playing about. This morning, standing in for the harbour, the wind headed us, which obliged us to tack, and stand out to sea a little, in order to prevent our falling to leeward of the port, which it would have been no easy matter to have regained. This morning a boat came alongside, in which were three Portugueze and six slaves, from whom we purchased some oranges, plantains, and bread. In trafficking with these people, we discovered that one Thomas Barret, a convict, had, with great ingenuity and address, passed some quarter dollars which he, assisted by two others, had coined out of old buckles, buttons belonging to the marines, and pewter spoons, during their passage from Teneriffe.

The impression, milling, character, in a word, the whole was so inimitably executed that had their metal been a little better the fraud, I am convinced, would have passed undetected. A strict and careful search was made for the apparatus wherewith this was done, but in vain; not the smallest trace or vestige of any thing of the kind was to be found among them.

How they managed this business without discovery, or how they could effect it at all, is a matter of inexpressible surprise to me, as they never were suffered to come near a fire and a centinel was constantly placed over their hatchway, which, one would imagine, rendered it impossible for either fire or fused metal to be conveyed into their apartments.

Besides, hardly ten minutes ever elapsed, without an officer of some degree or other going down among them. The adroitness, therefore, with which they must have managed, in order to complete a business that required so complicated a process, gave me a high opinion of their ingenuity, cunning, caution, and address; and I could not help wishing that these qualities had been employed to more laudable purposes.

The officers of marines, the master of the ship, and myself fully explained to the injured Portugueze what villains they were who had imposed upon them. We were not without apprehensions that they might entertain an unfavourable opinion of Englishmen in general from the conduct of these rascals; we therefore thought it necessary to acquaint them that the perpetrators of the fraud were felons doomed to transportation, by the laws of their country, for having committed similar offences there.

About one o'clock a gentle breeze from the east carried us within about a mile of the bar, where, at nine o'clock, we anchored in sixteen-fathom water.

The calms had baffled the Supply so much that she had only dropped her anchor a little while before us. Early this morning, it being quite calm, the commodore dispatched an officer to the viceroy, who met with a courteous reception, and about eleven o'clock returned with the boat nearly full of fruit and vegetables, sent as presents to the commodore from some of his old friends and acquaintances.

Some years ago Captain Phillip was on this coast, commander of a Portugueze man of war. During that time he performed several gallant acts, which, aided by his other amiable qualities, rendered him extremely popular here, and recommended him to the notice of the court of Lisbon. Shortly after, his own country having a claim to his services, on the breaking out of a war, he declined a command offered him by the Portugueze, and returned to the English navy, where he served some time as lieutenant a rank he had held before he had engaged in the service of Portugal on board the Alexander , under the command of that brave and exemplary character, Lord Longford.

About two o'clock we got under way, with a gentle sea-breeze, which ran us into the harbour. In passing Santa Cruz fort, the commodore saluted it with thirteen guns, which was returned with an equal number. This day a Portugueze ship sailed for Lisbon, which gave us an opportunity of writing short letters to our friends in England.

In the forenoon, the commodore, attended by most of the officers on the expedition, paid the viceroy a visit of ceremony. On our landing, we were received by an officer and a friar, who conducted us to the palace. As we passed the guard on duty there, the colours were laid at the feet of the commodore, than which nothing could have been a higher token of respect. We then proceeded up stairs into a large anti-chamber, crowded with officers, soldiers, and domestics. Here we were received by several officers belonging to the household, and the surgeon-general to the army, who spoke good English, having acquired his professional knowledge in London.

A few minutes after our arrival, a curtain, which hung over the door of the presence-chamber, was drawn aside; and on our entrance we were individually introduced to the viceroy by the commodore. The ceremony being ended, and a short conversation having taken place, we were ushered into another spacious room, where we all sat down. I could not help remarking that the viceroy placed himself in such a manner as to have his back turned on most of the officers.

I was told afterwards that he apologized for this; but I did not hear him, though very near. Neither the room we were now in, nor that into which we were first introduced, exhibited any marks of magnificence or elegance. I acknowledge that, for my own part, I was exceedingly disappointed. From the parade without, such as the number of guards, etc.

But this was by no means the case. The only furniture I saw in the room we were in, except chairs, were six card tables, and portraits of two of the sovereigns of Portugal, one of which was that of King Sebastian the First, the other of her present majesty; the former placed in the centre, the latter at the upper end of the room. The viceroy appeared to be of a middle age, somewhere between forty and fifty, stout and corpulent, with a strong cast or defect in both his eyes.

He seemed to be a person of few words, but at the same time civil and attentive. I could not, however, help observing the very great difference there was between his excellency's manner and address and that of the elegant and accomplished Marquis de Brancifort.

The contract being settled, the commissary supplied the troops and convicts with rice in lieu of bread , with fresh beef, vegetables, and oranges, which soon removed every symptom of the scurvy prevalent among them. The commodore ordered six female convicts, who had behaved well, to be removed from the Friendship into the Charlotte ; and at the same time an equal number, whose conduct was more exceptionable, to be returned to the Friendship in their stead. The commodore's view was a matter not easily accomplished to separate those whose decent behaviour entitled them to some favour from those who were totally abandoned and obdurate.

Cornelius Connell, a private in the marines, was, according to the sentence of a court martial, punished with a hundred lashes, for having an improper intercourse with some of the female convicts, contrary to orders.

Thomas Jones was also sentenced to receive three hundred lashes, for attempting to make a centinel betray his trust in suffering him to go among the women; but in consideration of the good character he bore previous to this circumstance, the court recommended him to the clemency of the commanding officer, and, in consequence thereof, he was forgiven.

John Jones and James Reiley, privates, accused of similar offences to that of Connell's, were acquitted for want of evidence, their being no witnesses to support the charge except convicts, whose testimony could not be admitted. This being a day of great parade and gaiety with the Portugueze, the inhabitants of Rio de Janeiro, arrayed in their best and richest attire, as their custom is on regale days, began to show themselves, during the forenoon, between the city and the church of St.

Gloria, which is about a mile distant, and situated on a rising ground near the sea. Persons of all ranks, as well in carriages as equestrians and pedestrians, joined in the crowd; but what was the purpose of this cavalcade, or to what circumstances it owed its origin, I am still at a loss to know. Gloria church, which is rather neat than rich, was decorated with various flowers in the disposal of which some taste was displayed , and most brilliantly illuminated.

I observed that the multitude generally stopped here, in succession, and employed themselves in some religious ceremonies, such as praying and singing hymns, before they returned to the city.

This kind of parade was continued the whole day; the better sort of people, however, made their appearance only in the afternoon. Returning with the rest of the crowd, after it was dark, to the town, I perceived a small church, in one of the bye streets, richly ornamented and elegantly illuminated. As I saw men, women, and children, struggling for entrance, I joined in the throng out of mere curiosity, and with no little difficulty made my way in; but all the satisfaction I reaped from being thus squeezed and jostled was seeing such as could gain admission fall on their knees, and praying with more fervor, to appearance, than real devotion.

On one side of the church stood a shabby ill-looking fellow, selling to the multitude consecrated beads; as did another, on the outside of the door. I own I could not help resembling them to mountebanks vending and distributing their nostrums. There were many more of these religious hawkers in the streets, from some of whom, as I saw it was the custom, I purchased a few of their beads.

At a little distance from the door of the church was erected a stage, on which was placed a band of vocal and instrumental performers, who exerted themselves with might and main to please the surrounding audience.

I cannot, however, say that they succeeded in pleasing me. About ten o'clock a display of fireworks and rockets, of which the Portugueze seem to be very fond, concluded the entertainments of the day. Some intrigues, I have reason to believe, followed. I was led to this conclusion from seeing many well-dressed women in the crowd quite unattended; and this was the only time during my stay in the country that I ever saw any circumstances which could warrant my forming such an opinion.

I know it has been asserted by some writers, that the women of Rio de Janeiro are not uncensurable in this point. They have affirmed that, as soon as it became dark, the generality of them exposed themselves at their doors and windows, distinguishing, by presents of nosegays and flowers, those on whom they had no objection to bestow their favours, a distinction in which strangers shared as well as their acquaintance.

That this might have been the case I will not take upon me to deny, and, impressed with the idea, on my first arrival, I considered every woman as a proper object of gallantry; but a month's residence among them convinced me that this imputed turn for intrigue is chiefly confined to the lower class, and that, in general, the higher ranks are as undeserving of the imputation as the females of any other country.

The popularity of our commodore with the viceroy and principal inhabitants here procured for the officers the liberty of going wherever they pleased. It has always been the custom for a soldier to follow every foreign officer that landed at this port, and it was scarcely ever dispensed with. It was, however, unknown to us, and this unaccustomed liberty gave us an opportunity of inspecting more minutely into the manners and disposition of the women as well as the men.

This being the Prince of Brazil's birth-day, the commodore, with most of his officers, went to court, to compliment the viceroy on the occasion. As soon as we landed, we were received by an officer, who conducted us to the presence-chamber, where his excellency stood, under a canopy of state, receiving the compliments of the officers of the garrison, the principal inhabitants, and such foreigners as were in the place.

After having paid our respects, we withdrew, as did every other person, except the principal officers of state, some general and law officers, and those of the governor's household. The Sirius and one of the forts fired royal salutes. The court was brilliant, if a place where a female does not appear can be said to be brilliant; but this, I was informed, is always the case here. Those gentlemen who appeared in the circle were richly and elegantly dressed.

The officers of the army and of the militia were particularly so, and that in a stile and fashion which did no small credit to their taste.

The viceroy wore a scarlet coat trimmed with very broad rich gold lace, and his hair, according to his usual mode of wearing it, in a remarkable long queue, with very little powder; an article of dress to which I observed the Portugueze were not very partial, while, on the contrary, they were profuse in the use of pomatum.

The day ended without any other demonstrations of joy. As the Portugueze seemed fond of fireworks and illuminations, and never fail to exhibit them on every religious festival, we were not a little disappointed in finding them omitted on the birth-day of their prince. James Baker, a private marine, received two hundred lashes, agreeable to the sentence of a court-martial, for endeavouring to get passed on shore, by means of one of the seamen, a spurious dollar, knowing it to be so; and one he had undoubtedly got from some of the convicts, as it was of a similar base metal to those which they had coined during the passage, and had attempted to put off on our first arrival at this port.

Having now procured every thing at Rio de Janeiro that we stood in need of, and thoroughly recovered and refreshed our people, the commodore, with such officers of the fleet as could be spared from duty, waited on the viceroy to take leave, and to return our acknowledgments for the indulgence and attention shown us, which, I think we may say, we experienced in a greater extent and latitude than any foreigners had ever before done.

On our landing, the same officer who had attended us upon every other public occasion, conducted us to the presence-chamber. As we passed, every military and public honour was paid to the commodore; the colours were laid at his feet, as they hitherto had been whenever he landed in his public character; a token of respect that is never bestowed on any person but the governor himself. When we arrived at the palace, an officer of the household, who was waiting to receive us, conducted us through a most delightful recess, hung round with bird-cages, whose inhabitants seemed to vie with each other both in the melody of their notes and the beauty of their plumage.

The passage we walked through was adorned on each side with odoriferous flowers and aromatic shrubs, which, while they charmed the eye, spread a delightful fragrance around. This passage led to a private room, on the outside of the door of which we were received by the viceroy, who stood uncovered, and noticed each person separately in the most friendly and polite manner.

His excellency preceded us into the room, and having requested all of us to be seated, placed himself by the commodore, in a position that fronted us. In return for our thanks and acknowledgments, he said, "it gave him infinite pleasure and satisfaction to find that the place had afforded us the supplies we stood in need of: He concluded with saying, "that he hoped, nay did not doubt, from the character the English bore for generosity of disposition, but that those who had so cheerfully engaged in a service, strange and uncertain in itself, would meet with an adequate reward--a recompense that every one must allow they justly merited.

It was furnished and painted in a neat and elegant stile; the roof displaying well-executed representations of all the tropical fruits and the most beautiful birds of the country. The walls were hung round with prints, chiefly on religious subjects. Rio de Janeiro is said to derive its name from being discovered on St. It is the capital of the Portugueze settlements in South America, and is situated on the west side of a river, or, more properly in my opinion , of a bay.

Except that part which fronts the water, the city is surrounded by high mountains, of the most romantic form the imagination can fashion to itself any idea of. The plan on which it is built has some claim to merit.

The principal street, called Strait Street, runs from the viceroy's palace, which is near the south-east end of the town, to the northwest extremity, where it is terminated by a large convent belonging to the Benedictine friars, situated on an eminence. The street is broad, well built, and has in it a great number of handsome shops.

All the others are much inferior to this, being in general only wide enough to admit two carriages to pass each other in the centre. The pavement for foot-passengers except in Strait Street, which is without any is so very unsociably narrow that two persons cannot walk with convenience together.

The houses are commonly two, and sometimes three, stories high, of which, even though inhabited by the most wealthy and respectable families, the lower part is always appropriated to shops, and to the use of the servants and slaves who are here extremely numerous , the family rather chusing to reside in the upper part, that they might live in a less confined air.

To every house there is a balcony, with lattice-work before it, and the same before all the windows. The churches are very numerous, elegant, and richly decorated; some of them are built and ornamented in a modern stile, and that in a manner which proclaims the genius, taste, and judgment of the architects and artists. Two or three of the handsomest are at this time either unfinished or repairing; and they appear to go on but very slowly, notwithstanding large sums are constantly collecting for their completion.

As they are erected or repaired by charitable contributions, public processions are frequently made for that purpose, and the mendicant friars belonging to them likewise exert themselves in their line. At these processions, which are not unfrequent, persons of every age and description assist. They usually take place after it is dark, when those who join in it are dressed in a kind of cloak adapted to religious purposes and carry a lanthorn fixed at the end of a pole of a convenient length: Considerable sums are collected by this mode.

At the corner of every street, about ten feet from the ground, is placed the image of a saint, which is the object of the common people's adoration. The town is well supplied with water from the neighbouring mountains; which is conveyed over a deep valley by an aqueduct formed of arches of a stupendous height, and from thence distributed by pipes to many parts of the city. The principal fountain is close to the sea, in a kind of square, near the palace, where ships water at a good wharf, nearly in the same manner as at Teneriffe, and with equal expedition and convenience.

On the opposite side of the fountain are cocks, from which the people in the neighbourhood are supplied. This convenient and capital watering place is so near the palace that when disputes or contentions arise between the boats' crews of different ships, the slaves, etc. While we staid at this place, we made several short excursions into the country; but did not go near the mines; as we knew the attempt would not only prove hazardous but ineffectual: As far as we did go, we experienced the same polite and attentive behaviour we met with from the inhabitants of the city.

Never was more distinguished urbanity shown to strangers than was shown to us by every rank. From its complicated state, I could learn but few particulars relative to the government of Brazil. The viceroy is invested with great power and authority, subject in some cases to an appeal to the court of Lisbon; but, like a wise and prudent ruler, he seldom exerts it, unless in instances where sound judgment and true policy render it expedient and necessary.

He is a man of little parade, and appears not to be very fond of pomp and grandeur, except on public days, when it is not to be dispensed with. When he goes abroad for amusement, or to take the air, his guard consists only of seven dragoons; but on public occasions he makes his appearance in a grander stile.

I once saw him go in state to one of the courts of justice; and, though it was situated not a hundred yards from his palace, he was attended by a troop of horse. His state carriage is tolerably neat, but by no means elegant or superb; it was drawn by four horses irregularly mottled.

Carriages are pretty common at this place; there is scarcely a family of respectability without one. They are mostly of the chaise kind, and drawn in general by mules, which are found to answer better than horses, being more indefatigable and surer-footed, consequently better calculated to ascend their steep hills and mountains. The military force of Brazil consists of a troop of horse, which serve as guards for the viceroy, twelve regiments of regulars from Europe, and six raised in the country: Besides the foregoing, there are twelve regiments of militia always embodied.

This whole force, regulars and militia, except those on out-posts and other needful duties, appear early in the morning, on every first day of the month, before the palace, where they undergo a general muster and review of arms and necessaries. The private men, although they are considered as persons of great consequence by the populace, are, on the other hand, equally submissive and obedient to their officers.

This strict discipline and regularity, as the city is in a great measure under military orders, renders the inhabitants extremely civil and polite to the officers, who, in return, study to be on the most agreeable and happy terms with them. A captain's guard independent of the cavalry, who are always in readiness to attend the viceroy is mounted every day at the palace.

Whenever Commodore Phillip passed, which he did as seldom as possible, the guard was turned out, with colours, etc. To obviate this trouble and ceremony, he most frequently landed and embarked at the north-west side of the town, where his boat constantly waited for him. On both sides of the river which forms the bay or harbour, the country is picturesque and beautiful to a degree, abounding with the most luxuriant flowers and aromatic shrubs.

Birds of a lovely and rich plumage are seen hopping from tree to tree in great numbers; together with an endless variety of insects, whose exquisite beauty and gaudy colours exceed all description. There is little appearance of cultivation in the parts we visited; the land seemed chiefly pasturage. The cattle here are small, and when killed do not produce such beef as is to be met with in England: I never saw any mutton: The gardens furnish most sorts of European productions, such as cabbages, lettuce, parsley, leeks, white radishes, beans, pease, kidney beans, turnips, water melons, excellent pumpkins, and pine-apples of a small and indifferent kind.

The country likewise produces, in the most unbounded degree, limes, acid and sweet lemons, oranges of an immense size and exquisite flavour, plantains, bananas, yams, cocoa-nuts, cashoo apples and nuts, and some mangos.

Brazil, particularly towards the northern parts, furnishes a number of excellent drugs. In the shops of the druggists and apothecaries of Rio de Janeiro, of which there are many, hippo, oil of castor, balsam capiva, with most of the valuable gums, and all of an excellent quality, are to be found; but they are sold at a much dearer rate than could possibly have been conceived or expected in a country of which they are the natural produce.

The riches of this country arising from the mines are certainly very great. To go near, or to get a sight of these inexhaustible treasuries, is impossible, as every pass leading to them is strongly guarded; and even a person taken on the road, unless he be able to give a clear and unequivocal account of himself and his business, is imprisoned, and perhaps compelled ever after to work in those subterraneous cavities, which avarice, or an ill-timed and fatal curiosity, may have prompted him to approach.

These circumstances made a trial to see them without permission and that permission I understand has never been granted the most favoured foreigners too dangerous to be attempted.

In addition to the above source of wealth, the country produces excellent tobacco, and likewise sugar canes, from which the inhabitants make good sugar, and draw a spirit called aquadente. This spirit, by proper management, and being kept till it is of a proper age, becomes tolerable rum. As it is sold very cheap, the commodorepurchased a hundred pipes of it for the use of the garrison when arrived at New South Wales.

Precious and valuable stones are also found here. Indeed they are so very plenty that a certain quantity only is suffered to be collected annually.

At the jewellers and lapidaries, of which occupation there are many in Rio, I saw some valuable diamonds and a great number of excellent topazes, with many other sorts of stones of inferior value. Several topazes were purchased by myself and others, but we chose to buy them wrought in order to avoid imposition, which is not unfrequent when the stones are sold in a rough state.

One of the principal streets of this city is nearly occupied by jewellers and the workers of these stones, and I observed that persons of a similar profession generally resided in the same street. The manufactures here are very few, and those by no means extensive. It was the first big hit for the first big rocker, Elvis Presley.

It was also a cover, written by rockabilly star Carl Perkins. Perkins was always bitter that Presley got the stardom that he wanted, although he was no slouch; the rights were controlled by Sam Perkins, so neither singer made much money off of it.

Is there anything more rock and roll? The best cover songs build upon the originals and create fresh, unique experiences. Originally performed by Michael Jackson. Originally performed by Ritchie Valens. And how disappointing that, nearly three decades later, this is still the song for which Los Lobos is best known. Sometimes karma is double-edged. Veterans of the same L. Originally performed by Badfinger.

After a string of his songs were turned into hits by the Monkees, Neil Diamond cemented a reputation as a songwriter well before he was recognized as a performer. Originally performed by Otis Redding. Originally performed by The Lover Speaks. Nine years after its first appearance in , Annie Lennox got hold of it, and approached it with all the discipline that the original lacked.

She found the ethereal beauty that the original only promised — and by finding a nicely controlled middle ground between the Enya-like backing vocals and her own tendency to belt, she created by far her best work as a solo artist. Originally performed by Todd Duncan. For nearly a half-century now, this dramatic ballad has served as a yardstick by which seemingly every great pop singer feels the need to measure him- or herself.

With Phil Spector tweaking the production knobs and ladeling on the strings, Hatfield took an already much-recorded number it was written for an obscure prison film and attached it permenently to himself. Originally performed by Lori Lieberman.

Lauryn Hill takes makes this version so memorable by dropping most of the instruments and replacing them with harmonies constructed of her own voice, taking the song out of a dimly lit lounge where it was conceived and out into the streets of the city where it belongs. Originally performed by James Ray.

Originally performed by Fred Neil. Originally performed by The Rolling Stones. Three CDs, with liner notes all in German. Now, if four hours seems a bit excessive for any greatest-hits collection, especially one by a foreign band who never sang in your language, well, I had the same thought. The end-of-the-prom slow dance, transformed. The Stones original is maudlin late-night country blues, endearingly ragged, wearing its heartbreak on every note.

It draws us in more, by giving away less. Originally performed by Big Mama Thornton. So to single out any one Elvis performance over his others, especially given how prolific he was during his short life, is a huge challenge. Originally performed by Aerosmith. Sure, Run-DMC went to the well a few too many times with the rap-rock combo over the years but the first one is always going to be their best.

Originally performed by Tears for Fears. Even more people probably can tell you that Adam Lambert sung it on American Idol. Originally performed by Dolly Parton. If, as William Blake wrote, the Road of Excess leads to the Palace of Wisdom, then Whitney Houston is screaming towards enlightenment in a neon-pink Cadillac, blowing through every toll booth in a shower of hundred dollar bills, tires smoking.

Or, to put it plainly, sometimes more is more. Originally performed by Kris Kristofferson. Janis sung it with far more passionate longing that Kris did, and her brilliant dropping of the resolving chord before the chorus created a form of tension that was a hook in and of itself.

David Lee Roth keeps things relatively restrained on the vocals, but nonetheless oozes machismo. Michael Anthony and Alex Van Halen are completely locked into a groove, and of course Eddie is equally ferocious on lead and rhythm guitar. Legend has it that when the Kinks toured America after , fans told them they did a great job covering Van Halen. Like I said, obliterated. Originally performed by The Clique. This was a track Mike Mills was born to sing; indeed, his vocals are amazingly similar to those of Clique singer Gary Zekley who joined R.

You can be a translator, more-or-less replicating the original track with English vocals, maybe even using the original backing tracks, as if you were putting subtitles on Yojimbo. Cool formalist black-and-white period piece, blown out into gloriously nutso Cinerama Technicolor epic.

Originally performed by Robert Johnson. Originally performed by Bobby Fuller Four. It might as well have been written just for them. Originally performed by David Bowie. Originally performed by Gloria Jones. There are at least a couple dozen covers of the tune out there with everyone from Marilyn Manson to the Pussycat Dolls taking a crack at it.

All great pop songs acquire a certain amount of baggage over the years that obscures their greatness and makes them difficult to appreciate for the fresh, bold statements they often are. Look past it, brothers and sisters, to a song that boldly re-conceives a rock classic and succeeds with flying colors. Not many can claim to have recorded the definitive version of a Fabs song. Originally performed by Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Ike and Tina liked to do things nice and rough. Originally performed by Al Green. The gospel according to the Reverend Al was often a bright, sunny, straight-forward and soulful affair.

Originally performed by The Undisputed Truth. Some wah-wah guitar and heavily studio-fied strings and trumpets. From such humble ingredients was made a sweeping, sprawling masterpiece. Just as the music stubbornly follows a single chord, so does this story repeat the same dour dynamic: Each time, mama supplies the same unsatisfying answer. This summer the estimable Ann Powers ranked the Bangles 3 among L.

For my money, the Bangles are tops, and this awesome Vicki-and-Susanna duet is all the evidence I need. Originally performed by Velvet Underground. While a perfect cover can change a song almost beyond recognition, sometimes it takes just a few taps of the chisel, as it were, to turn a great song into a perfect one.

The result is one of the most distinctive and authentic love songs of the rock era — one that had to wait twenty years to be given its definitive treatment. Originally performed by Erma Franklin. I have so many friends exactly like Canada guy. I love this so much, people need to stop denying these stereotypes, they are true and awesome. I just wish I could wrangle some Moose half as good as Canada. Ahahaha, oh man i love Canadian jokes.

This comic makes me happy, for, while Canadian guy is obviously Canadian, he reminds mes o much of growing up in my rednecky corner of Tennessee. Oh the bonfires, and fireworks, and tractor pulls.

You could always tell you were throwing a good party when the sheriff and fire department showed up. The fact that I laughed at this conclusively proves that I am impossible to offend.

It feels like a really lame superpower. I know I guy in Quebec. He hunts meese the REAL plural of moose owns a dog that looks like its mother was a wolf, and spends most of his free time fishing in a nearby lake. He is a true Quebecois redneck. Also, does that not sound like the funnest way to live ever?

You know, I feel like I should be offended since I am Canadian, but this is one of those things that you are just supposed to enjoy: This is despite having spent many months in Canada. Your email address will not be published. Donate direct to the webhost instead.

Apparently pallet-swapping the Commander instantly makes him a dead ringer for my father. Canada , Canadian Guy. June 28, , June 28, , 2: Oh, thanks for the translations, i did eventually figure everything out though.

June 28, , 3: June 28, , 4: June 28, , 5: June 29, , 1: July 2, , July 4, , 2: July 4, , 1: July 4, , July 5, , September 8, , The one and only Titan. November 15, , 1: November 17, , 4: May 8, , 3: September 4, , 6: I kinda wish it was. July 8, , 1: July 8, , 2: July 11, , July 13, , 9: November 17, , November 17, , 2: November 21, , 2: February 15, , 9: Come to Alberta at some point heh.

June 7, , 5: August 15, , June 28, , 9: Hmmmm forest in an office building, AC cranked up too high… Moose… The only thing we are missing is Hockey, though i suppose that could be substituted with curling. Ahh Coelasquid Thank you for reminding us of the humor of stereotypes: September 9, , You resent comic humor? Grow a fucking pair and realize its satire.

October 8, , November 23, , 9: September 5, , March 29, , February 16, , December 31, , 6: December 15, , November 30, , 7: Department of Redundancy Dept. June 29, , June 29, , 3: June 30, , 6: July 1, , August 28, , 1: October 3, , June 2, , 9: June 28, , 1: Thank you for continuing to make Mondays spectacular! Wild Captain Falcon Sighting fifth panel. August 8, , 3: August 8, , 6: May 29, , 4: I love the musical episode of Batman The Brave and the Bold.

Ahmagahd Neil Patrick Harris lol. Granted, a drunk guy in New york thought I was Irish once, so there must be some parallels. Every country has rednecks. July 2, , 1: People North of Thompson seem to say it a lot. November 23, , November 24, , 7: November 25, , 7: November 26, , 7: November 28, , September 16, , 5: There seems to be a little bit of Newfoundlander in Canada. Captain Falcon and Guile? Damn, sir, moose are some hardcore beasts. July 1, , 6: Lost in the Void.

June 30, , He beat all his robot unicorn highscores? June 28, , 7: There is so much to be beheld in this installment! June 30, , 4: July 1, , 1: July 6, , June 28, , 8: It turns into an ice hockey match.

July 2, , 3: D I like Canada Man. He makes me laugh: Canadaman seems to have some Newfie in his accent. July 3, , June 29, , 4: I thought that might be it, but thank you for clarifying! June 28, , 6: June 30, , 2: July 3, , 3: July 3, , 4: Chuck Norris sucks compared to Frank West. Chuck Norris is old now too.

Get the National news, top Canadian stories, photos & videos. Read the latest headlines and breaking news & happening across Canada. Ottawa Citizen - a place for remembering loved ones; a space for sharing memories, life stories, milestones, to express condolences, and celebrate life of your loved ones. Apparently pallet-swapping the Commander instantly makes him a dead ringer for my father.