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Female characters who grow and change and become more of themselves rather than whatever the male characters need. Which is why I was so excited about the release of Ready Player One , a film directed by Steven Spielberg and based on the bestselling book by Ernest Cline.
After reading the book, my hope was that the integrity of the central love story and the portrayal of the dynamic, female character Art3mis would be respected. Unfortunately, it was not. The story of Ready Player One centers on a ragtag group of underprivileged teens on a Willy Wonka-like adventure to find three keys within an all-encompassing video game platform known as OASIS.
She is a badass gamer who wants to help society at large. In both versions, Art3mis is a female blogger and Gunter, but that is pretty much where her personal storyline dies. In the novel, Cline spends a lot of time building the expectation of how spectacular Atr3mis is at her craft. Wade idolizes her because she is seriously amazing and not because she looks a certain way. Most of this backstory is stripped away in the film. This is something that was executed better in the Jumanji reboot, which takes four teenagers and sucks them into the Jumanji video game.
In the book, their dalliances in the OASIS lead to the complicated relationship that pivots between friendship, rivalry, and romance. The romance part is pushed for excessively by Wade, who admits straight away that he has feelings for Art3mis. All of the cuts used to make the movie to time sacrifice the richness of her character thanks to conventional male storytelling, something Steven Spielberg knows a lot about.
Three out of thirty. Which makes sense as a majority of his films have male leads. Something fittingly nostalgic for women everywhere. During a decade-long meltdown, she burned her life to the ground and revamped it as often as Madonna. Can we please have one moment of peace and not turn everything into a triggered debate?
After the Credits Episode Wow, cool it on the zealous hatred of men. You are so very wrong on so many of these points and you are rewriting what was in the movie to try to fit them. Mental gymnastics and little moral constitution in this article.
A throw away line about parents dying. Huge backstory much wow. Sam actually gets more filled in as we find out how her father died at least. Not much but more then the lead character. Next up Sam being a badass. Who shows Wade the ropes about being a star? How would she know that? Even the more subtle hints lean towards her being awesome. In fact I would rate Wade as the worst player out of the main characters and he really only comes through because of buying something cool or because of his knowledge of Halliday.
Then you have the looks. What about her usual big red jacket? Again you are wrong and demonstrably so by just a causal viewer. Course the only one to put you there is you and the only one that can get you out is you. Good luck with the fight against your own zealous nature, I sincerely hope you find some semblance of peace and balance in your life.
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Her article comforted me and made me realize that I am normal and have a right to feel like I do. She is truly compassionate and understanding which us what I so desperately need now. Catherine, this is such a beautiful — straight from the heart and authenic piece. I, too, lost my husband in after being married for 42 years.
I completely get what you wrote about. And yes, I have been blessed with a new marriage which was completely surprising to me. I have a dear friend who just passed this weekend.
She made the decision to remarry after not death but divorce after a long reflective time. She went in for heart surgery the Monday following her wedding, and died this past Saturday. I have forwarded your beautiful piece on to her shattered husband, with the hope that he will read it when he is able.
What is amazing to me as that the veneer which covers my loss and grief, was and is so easily ripped away during times like this.
I wish for you peace and comfort. Keep on writing — you now have a purpose, which is to use your words to help others. Thank you again for the beauty of your words, Laurel. And makes me feel I am not the only one going through this, and that someone understands. Reading this was like someone telling me my own story. It just becomes a little easier to assimilate. May you have the peace and contentment you need.
Catherine- Your article touched my heart and my soul. I sent this article to my siblings and friends to help them understand how I feel. For this alone, I am indebted to you. Many times i feel like I am speaking Chinese in a world where everyone speaks English!
Finally i give up and begin to speak English too, but how relaxed and free I feel when i can speak to someone else who speaks Chinese. YOU speak Chinese with me! My dear husband died 9 months ago after a 2 month illness of mini strokes and then a full stroke, taking away his ability to speak for his last 2 months of life. Lung cancer caused his strokes. We were married 37 years and he was 61; have 3 kids- all at home.
As i read on your blog- I still struggle with making decisions alone, no one to discuss the kids with, our past memories with or what i did that day with…..
My husband passed away on 8 Feb right in front of me after suffering a massive stroke. And I died inside as well. I need my husband desperately. We were married for 12 years but were together 18 and a half years. I feel lonely with pockets of guilt, anger,sadness and frustration. It was on a Sunday morning 28th June when my husband suddenly collapsed and died in front of our second born son and I.
Things have never been the same again. Sometimes feeling strong enough to keep going and other times i feel frail. My wife passed from an early onset of Lewy Body Dementia, a cruel illness. She had not been diagnosed until she became catatonic one evening and was taken by ambulance to the wrong hospital. Since they had no records they did tests that the other doctors never did and came up with the diagnosis. They said it was terminal and thought she should go to hospice. She went to hospice and improved, but not to what she had been and was sent home.
Exactly three months later she died literally in my arms. The was no time for good bye. In a blink of an eye she just stopped breathing. She had a DNR order making it harder since I had to just sit with her until she was picked up. We were married for 31 years, and together for It has been a little less than two months since she died and I feel like I died that day as well. I quit my job and started a new one hoping that it would tie me up and help me cope. It is fine when I am at work but once I get home it is awful.
I am moving out of the house because it is to hard to look at the spot where I know she drew her last breath. I sometimes just sit in that spot and try to talk to her and cry. Now that that day is coming to move I am sad because now I cannot sit in that spot but feel I have to go. I had convinced myself that she was going to be one of the ones that live long. A few days before she died she had said she kept seeing a man in the bedroom for the last couple of days.
When I would walk with her around the room she would say he left. The last night she said she thought it was Death waiting to take her. There are so many things that I can never forget. The blank look on her face at the moment of her death…did she realize she was dying? All I remember is the look of almost nothingness on her face with her eyes slightly open looking to the left.
A look that I cannot ever get out of my mind. If I had known that it was going to be our last three months I would have taken more time off from work. I had a caregiver who she got along with but my wife would often say that she wished I could be her caregiver, but financially I felt like I could not do it. Now it is to late and I blame myself for not just taking the time off and not worrying about the money end of it.
She loved owls and recently the grocery store had big signs up for Halloween with owls and I found myself walking the aisles with tears streaming down my face. I wish I had the faith that some have so I could believe that she is indeed in a better place, as I am told so often. I am now facing Thanksgiving alone for the first time in over 34 years, and then Christmas, and then in February, her Birthday. Our anniversary was on October 26th.
I had started my new job that day, so it helped out while I was working, but once home…. I now understand what my mother may have felt. How I will cope in this upcoming year is hard to say, but I know I will be lonely the rest of my life without Linda, the love of my life. The article made me cry for 5 hours.
Yes I feel like both of my legs were amputated and I am being told to get over it and get up and walk with no aid. To make a loooooong story short. The only boy who gave me a love note, held my hand, kissed me,held me….. I mean I really love you. But l am only 61 years young , very strong , very active…… but after 6 years 6 months 12 days I still have that emptiness , loneliness , not knowing what to do. I can be in a crowded room and lonely because he is not by my side.
I can be taking notes in church and remember him drawing a heart on my hand. But l desire a flesh and blood husband.
I dated a Christian man for the month of December yet he has never been married. I did not want to hurt him. He backed away now the emptiness is enlarged. Most women I know are married. Yet I to get my earthly comfort from two younger than I widows. He says he lost his dad on the day I lost my husband and there is no difference!!!! I have made many drasticly wrong decisions in the past 6 years 6 months 12 days. My only excuse is that my Better half is gone and left an emptiness.
I love to read stories of people living on desert islands and how they survive and are rescued. I just cry to the LORD to rescue me. I know He has a purpose and a plan. Thank you for the article. I have never been so empty or lonely. I feel as if I am crazy or if I should be over the guilt, sadness and pain.
How do you get over someone how I used to want to kill, someone who I loved more than myself. I too feel justified as well, I am not alone. This so perfectly describes what I have just been going through today. My wonderful, courageous husband died two weeks ago after becoming sicker and sicker over the past year. We had been married for almost 42 years and were rarely apart for lengthy periods of time.
The hole left in my life is huge. I know he is at peace and is no longer suffering, and for that I am relieved, but oh my, losing him is just so, so incredibly hard. Thank you for your words. Thank you for such an insightful article. Two years ago I lost my wife at the age of 41 suddenly to an aggressive cancer. We were together for almost 20 years and parents to 4 young children. I received a call from preschool to offer the last 2 places for our twin. My husband died in In I became reacquainted with a male friend I had known for some years who had recently been divorced.
We had a 5 year relationship and created a life together even though we lived separately. I went to his house and found him dead. This last spring I had a close brush with death myself, but here I am recovering well, but alone. Now I feel really alone, more than I ever have before. I can so relate to your essay. I have a lot of friends, some married couples and other widows. But there is no soul mate, no one with whom I can really share life. And yes, I keep busy, yadayadayada. Have been without my darling man for two years and 3mths now.
Just spent my third Xmas without him. We were together for 36 years. Three kids, three grandchildren! And my husband would have been such a loving, hands-on Grandpa! I am so alone with being a grandparent! Not sure there is any right or wrong anymore. Nothing prepared me for the degree of sadness and loneliness I have come to experience. I am so looking forward to some sort of normalcy. It has been 15 weeks since my husband of 25 years passed away suddenly. I am so glad I found this web site.
I am fortunate that we have three children and they really do help keep me going. We did everything together and my entire life was built around this man and our family. Holidays, Milestones and important events good and bad are hard. Our daughter just had her 10th birthday and our middle son just got accepted to college. I feel like I am forgetting to call someone Darren to share the news, talk about the plans and share the excitement.
I miss him so much. I know that I am lucky to have had him in my life these past 30 years and that we shared so many beautiful memories and have three wonderful children together. I have a great support network of friends and family, but they all get to go home to their spouses at night and I cry alone. Dear God, please help me…please!
Sometimes I cry out in the car going to work. She died a little over 7 month ago. She woke up complaining of a strange sort of indigestion in her upper stomach…6 hours later we were in the emergency room and she was throwing up everything inside her including blood.
She was gray and looked like she was dying but the surgeons in charge of her medical care reassured me it would pass and she had a common bowel obstruction. The next morning she coded and I freaked. She died the next day in the ICU from sepsis. I had little knowledge of what sepsis was up until the love of my life somehow acquired it.
Death has now become my enemy and sepsis its Lucifer. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and complicated grief since this hell on earth began. Please God, help me through this torture! Please God help me…please! God, please help me…. I am 31 years old man—sitting here at work trying to fill in my emptiness with reading others posts online as tears dripping down my face.
I am so very for your loss. What I find comforting the most is being reading posts like yours. This pain is just too much for one to go through, let alone all of us here and everyone else who have loss a loved one. I will always be hollowed without my wife. Thank you for this.
He was my person and always will be. Tears streamed down my face, as I read this, and thought of my niece who posted your article on her FB , who lost her husband in Afghanistan, when her children were 6 and 8 yrs.
I am so sorry for her that she has to go through this pain. From the bottom of my heart…thank you for this article. I feel like you got inside my heart, my head, and read my very thoughts. For this, I am extremely thankful. I appreciate you sharing your experience, as it somehow manages to dissipate the loneliness.
So much I want to say here, but my mind blankens and my souls feels so empty whenever I try to write about my deep loss. I remember trying to write thank you notes after his funeral without much success in achieving even a semblance of adequately expressing my gratitude for the outpouring of love and generosity toward my kids and me. I felt like a third-grader struggling to formulate a complex sentence.
I find that I am unable to write about my deep pain. Even after 6 years, I still cannot adequately describe how much it hurts. I am so grateful to fellow widows like you who open your heart and mind to share in a way that allows me to relate, and also to cry a little.
I need to cry. I still miss him…every day. The night before his 67th birthday, my fiance had a massive heart attack and was in a full code as I stepped off the elevator into his hospital room. He had been in the hospital for a separate issue. He was to have been released to come home to me, on his birthday — which was just 6 weeks before our wedding. We had enjoyed a 15 year friendship then love affair turned into an engagement.
We were set to marry in August of , after my daughter turned 18 and returned from an international expedition into the Arctic Circle. We are two people who were now out of two unhappy marriages and about to make a very happy marriage under the Chuppah. Five days later — on July 7th, his adult children disconnected his life support. He died 24 hours later on July 8th. His untimely death, was just hours before my daughter turned 18 on July 9th.
The funeral was a nightmare. The tension in the sanctuary of the synagogue where my beloved and I were members as a family was immense. Someone directly after the service said to me that this was now my new normal and that there was another plan for me.
I wanted to fall over — how could that person say that to me at that time? The Rabbi who just performed the funeral was supposed to have performed our wedding in August. Not only did I have the loss of my best friend, I have lost my entire social community, our friends were also friends with the adult children.
The social circle followed the bullying demands of the children. A month after my beloved passed away, I had the unfortunate opportunity to revisit the entire tragedy, as I had to notify and fill in my daughter what she had missed, the loss of this wonderful man, who she adored and her mother loved. To top off the lonely world I now am imprisoned in, I am now facing never ending legal issues brought on by the adult children of my beloved. They are taking out their anger with their father on me, I am their apparent scapegoat.
I have to believe the love of my life is heart broken to have lost his life, but also to see all of this nasty stuff going on in the world he no longer lives in. On many days, I still feel it impossible to get out of bed. My grief has had a direct effect on my health.
Much of the time, I want to cease to exist. I have been rocked to my knees. My trust in the world is shattered. My heart is broken that he is gone. Faith in any actions of mankind — is non-existent. Thank you so much for listening and for having this website. I am interested in your articles for my year old mother. We lost my father one year ago, and she is withering away, with no will to live.
She has always been so strong and vibrant. Again I wanted to thank you for this page. There is comfort in reading the other stories that follow your article.
I had been trying to put words to feelings of sorrow and loss that are beyond anything I would have thought possible. The last part comes directly from the help I have found on this site. How do you describe what comes after the loss of a spouse? An experience unique to the person who finds him or herself thrust into that vast chasm. Complete understanding of the finality of such a loss is forever a moving target for the person left behind.
You are unwittingly tethered to a nemesis beyond your comprehension that can pull you to depths you never imagined existed. Life continues as normal around you, and sometimes you assimilate into these familiarities for a time. All the while shadows in your mind are whispering to you things you do not want to face.
Plans you had, goals you had set are now feathers in the wind that drift away from you with no concern. Each sunrise brings with it the empty silence of the new day. Your heart and mind ride in the hollow vessel that used to be you. Drifting from place to place in a groove carved out years before, as you stare out the window of your life while thinking about the past. This is but a brief description, really only scratching the surface of what this life event actually is. For me, it just feels good to write it down.
I am hoping that it might help someone else in that those of us who are here, are not alone. Drifting down this river of sorrow would be unbearable if not for the recognition of the other boats a drift in this same river. To you I say farewell friend, this river will eventually leave you on the shore of a brighter day.
Cary, this was so powerful an spoke to me in a way that took my breath away. I might add that each evening brings with it the dread of another night in an empty bed, and then comes the dawn. He was 50 years old, I, I have little to no contact with humans, except in the morning when I go thru a drive-thru for breakfast. He had enough insurance that left me debt free for a short while. And well, what happened next is a whole other story. Your article really, really hit home for me.
I totally lost it in there not long after he died, walking down an aisle just a squalling. Blessings to all of you. Thank you for worthy read. For affirming the existence of this sensation, the loneliness it brings, and still the desire to be left alone. It was comforting to find this article and read the comments. I am 48 years old and my husband died 3 years ago after a four-month battle with cancer.
I have a 17 year old an 11 year old and I am so grateful for their presence because that loneliness that you all spoke of just creeps up on you.
I think turning off the lights at night is when I feel it most. On the other hand, the thought of starting over, that is, dating, is downright scary for me.
It seems like a solution for the loneliness but remember, 48 years… Yet the alternative is no less scary because my girls are getting older and an empty house is not something that I look forward to. As a Christian, I know that God is with me, but I am really trying to deal with that loss of companionship.
That void is really hard to fill. Perfectly shared by author and posters. Loneliness can kill you. No one can take away the pain of loss. And as much as you want to seek connection to alleviate the loneliness, nothing can fill that void and you end up just wanting to be alone.
I really enjoyed your article, Catherine. Thank you for sharing. I am still trying to survive Widow hood after 22 years. I make it through one day at a time. What you wrote was absolutely beautiful. While I am not a widow, and my last almost spouse I was only with for two years, it feels I lost him in a similar way.
I grew to know my now ex-fiance very closely, we were heart to heart and very passionate about each other and our futures and we were ecstatic to see each other grow in every area of our lives. Boy, did we have fun! But our relationship went deeper than that. Up until exactly 10 days before our wedding was when I found he had a deep anger and turned on me, actually strangling me.
Our friendship bond was incredible, we already knew each other very well. I have friends and family who push me back into the dating world, and oh gosh, is it a whole nother world. How do you cope when fear or emotions rise? Would you have any recommendations to any online chats or websites or reading material? Thank you so much for your writing and all your input here, it was good for me to read. The tears will help me get through another day!
My husband of 18 years died suddenly and unexpected days ago. What you wrote is exactly, and I mean exactly how I feel. Thank you for sharing it. Tidd, Thank you for this very accurate description of life as a widow. My moment was also in a Walmart store which I avoided for the first several months after my Loves death.
As I struggled through telling him I hurried to make it out of the checkout and my name was being called. The most sobering time in which after relating our past two year battle to friends and he was not there as he had always been.
The emptiness and magnitude of the loss truelly sets in as reality strikes in telling others he is truelly gone- not on a road trip someplace as he had been so many years. It will be hard even more so with all the life events of my children such as the graduation of my daughter next year and the milestones of our grandchildrens lives.
I write in a journal to tell my love those special things but also so one day my children can read my thoughts and hopefully share my faith as I leave this world one day. The love we shared for 33 years will not die. It will survive even death and one day our loves will be returned to us in a far better state than they left us and the emptiness we feel will be a thing of the past forever as we will only have to see them die once!
Thank you for expressing my exact thinking and may God Bless your broken heart with peace and comfort until your love is returned! In my 18 months of being a widow your words have resonated so much with me.
Widow for nearly a year. Life in the strange. Thirty three years of being married and I find myself having more difficulties now than six months ago.
I was just writing and had expressed it is as though I lost an arm. As if I am a ball left with no air, surely can not roll. Wondering if I will ever be able to put anything together again. My smile is less everyday.
I never have been a cryer, not my style. I can not get out of my own way. Missing my handsome, kind, giving, funny person that got everything about me. Thank you for your writing and thoughts on the idea of loss. I lost the love of my life a little over a month ago. I am back at work now, and find it difficult to find reasons for motivation. Certainly not the first time I have lost someone close, including my older brother about 2 years ago.
My wife passing at 49 years old just seems like a dream, like I will eventually wake up and things will be right again. I only just signed up for Facebook a couple of weeks ago, and will look up Widow Chick.
Again thank you, it does help to read similar feelings written on a page. The words roll around my mind in a void so vast that the silence of this place shatters even the concept. I could have told you at any time the beauty and importance of those moments without hesitation. Love, purpose all things big and small in an elegance that flowed naturally through me like a cool stream in summer.
Then, a door closes, thrusting you forward into an empty room full of echoes and shadows. Senses dulled in a lateral drift that is cold and seemingly without end. Certainly I am not the first to lose someone loved so dearly. Living in the moment and sharing those moments with the ones you love can in the end leave you here.
My advise is to do it. Though a loss can be a devastating and can thrust you into the void, it may be the only compass to find your way back. Love so deep and complete can only be realized when those moments are shared.
So be in that moment, take hold of the ones you love and give all you have to them as if tomorrow will never come. My husband died in a motorcycle accident in I lost my father whom I was extremely close to in August 6 weeks later I lost my husband of 20 years both unexpected.
Two months later underwent a major neck surgery which I was scheduled to have the week after my husband passed. He was one month from retirement we had so many plans and now I feel as though I have nothing no hope no joy. The hits just keep coming in waves financial emotional physical pain you name it. I lived for my husband he was everything to me. My happiness my joy my best friend. While I have friends no one truly understands and there lives go on mine does not. The loss of love along with the loss of companionship is, to me, like losing your mother and your dog at the same time.
The vacancy in your home is as painful as that in your heart. The slightest trigger can offset it, and bring tears. It is a solitary torture, the nature of which seems to remain private, perhaps because these feelings were previously only expressed to my husband. It feels unnatural to explain it to others who though well-meaning want to know why I look so sad at times. My life was defined enough by only five and a half years of marriage. Yet, as a youngish widow, my peers are not widowed and the only people I find who can identify are generally online — when I can drag myself to the internet to unwillingly pour out my soul to strangers.
I appreciate your article very much, and thanks for sharing it. Death trumps these things. Sometimes my emotions are a lot like the saran wrap around the onion in my refrigerator — potent, yet willfully concealed. I am looking forward to texting someone who is going or has gone thru this feeling of being lost.
If there is anything that I have found that has helped some is playing guitar. I used to play years back, and find that playing lets me think about things, but in a somewhat controlled manner. Sitting alone in silence was a spiral ever downward for me. If you used to have a hobby that you set aside as I did when I became so involved with my wife , pick it up again….
All the best to you, hang in there. I am much better every day, now…I certainly relate to being lonely and preferring to be alone at the same time.
Thanks to my daughter who turned me on to this website. Thank you so much for this. My husband died two months ago and I am freaking out. I just told someone that I feel very much alone and yet there is and army waiting to hear from me. I am so sick of crying, so sick of screaming and cursing I seem to have turned into a real potty mouth lately.
Gee whiz, I need for this to stop hurting so much. I just want to remember and love my husband without all the pain. Yes I know how stupid that sounds! I miss him more than I can put into words. Oh, my goodness, Catherine! I felt like I was reading one of my own blog posts — but better. You hit the essence of grief at its heart with such understanding, sensitivity and yes, humor. Not feeling like odd wo man out with our closest friends with your own married children at times is almost impossible to explain — but there it is.
I especially related, since my husband was also my business partner, not being able to turn and related something to him. All blessings as you go forward each day….. I miss him everyday, every night, every moment Even though I CAN get through without crying my eyes out, each thing I do reminds me of when it was all so different, so right, so wonderful. My eldest son was diagnosed with cancer and my daughter has Motor Neurone disease….
HOW will I manage? I was not meant to be a widow. I Need support to move safely forwsrd. Dear Friend My extreme loneliness has traumatized my soul! Many crises has been my journey since I cared for my dear spouse living at home with ALS.
How do I overcome this loneliness and venture on? Dear Catherine, You nailed it. My husband passed away January 4, I know that he is gone but I still walk down stairs expecting him to come home any moment so I can share something with him. This is the craziest time of my life and time does not seem to be making it easier. I am paralyzed with grief on the day and can hardly get out of bed.
Then I remember that he never failed to make the day special with roses and dinner for my daughter and me. We have changed our celebration to a brunch but it just feels wrong without him. Yes there are other men in my life who are fathers but he was the best father I have ever known. Then we rapidly move on to our Anniversary. We would have celebrated 40 years of marriage this year and planned to renew our vows but he passed away in the 38th year of our marriage. People encourage me to travel but I just cannot face traveling alone.
I have children, grandchildren and friends but they have no way of knowing how deep the pain is. I gave my grandson a ride home this morning and almost broke down into tears because he sat next to me in the car saying only a few words to my questions and attempts at a conversation.
You are right sometimes I do want to be left alone. But you nailed it again when you talked about missing the comments. I miss his voice, his laugh, his commentary on current events and even the things that use to drive me crazy. Why am I crying? Why am I in a beautiful house alone? Why am I not just thankful to be alive? I know my blue funk is because our Anniversary is only a few days away.
I was trying to figure out how I could get through the day when I stumbled across your article. It was wonderful to hear it through another voice and to know that I am not alone. Thank you for expressing the very things I feel and more. Yeah, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with that one. I myself have experienced 12 of them at least. My husband was in a motorcycle accident on his way home from work, 2 days after we laid his dad to rest.
In the blink of an eye all my hopes, dreams and aspirations died. I was 34 years old had been with my husband for 16 years and still have no idea what I will do without him. Thank you for the post,I will look for more from you. Thank you for letting g us know that we are not alone.
I lost my husband of 45 years ……. He died 2 years ago…… He only lived 7 months after surgery, radiation, chemo treatments and Avastin infusions. Treatments and Avastin were discontinued after 4 months. His radiologist and oncologist said all treatments were doing more harm than good.
He was such a brilliant and talented man. There was nothing that he could not do…. Alaska, Canada, Minnesota, Washington….
He was a perfectionist…. Surgery took away his speech, and also motor skills on the right side of his body. NOTHING left for someone who was so active and could not sit still for long, because he needed to do something all the time.
We were told 18 months with surgery….. Age makes a difference. He was 66 years old, and now was helpless. GBM took away his dignity. His speech was gone……only frustration for him trying to talk and people could not understand what he was trying to say.
My husband would not even consider that until after his second seizure at home. It was so horrible to watch him go through that. I was his care-giver, but could not take care of him by myself anymore.
He was admitted into hospice and died 7 weeks later. I saw him slip away more with every visit. He hated it there, even with the good care he had. He was very upset with me because I put him there. He slept through most of my visits….. He slept more and more each day….. I will forever feel guilty for that.
I retired from a government job of 30 years…sold my house, moved to another state to be close to family…bought a new house….. Grief Support meetings have been a disappointment.
A widow does not fit in the circle of couples…. They feel sorry for you, but that is the extent of it. It is hard to contain myself and not cry. Somedays are okay, and the the next day it seems like it was only yesterday that he died…and I re-live so many horrible days of the diagnosis and the days and months following. Have just read your website and have cried again. I,too,have been a sorry member of the widows league-Childhood you somehow get through-motherhood you learn-widowhood is so awful so lonely and sad-children have their own lives and have almost abandoned me now.
After 42 years together he was my rock and now I have only a pebble to cling to. Hell is here on earth,coping without his wonderful presence-hope you understand -love Chrisxx. I found this site and your article yesterday. I NEED to keep reading this for it is like a onion—peeling back the layers is painful and I recoil, only to return because the fruit feeds me.
My mother was such an inspiring, strong proud woman. I treasured her both as a person and as a friend. Even through speech that was impossible for her except through her word board, I visited her, first picking up her favorite meal at a restaurant. Almost every organ was going into failure and she was septic. On June 14, , my sister and I sat with her as she was removed from life support; she was gone within a few minutes. Meanwhile, my husband — the love of my life, and such a caring, supportive and funny man —just 4 days before my mom collapsed, we found out that his prostate cancer had reactivated very aggressively.
After my mother passed away, I was left with no one to help and no time to assimilate and grieve her death. Due to my multiple health issues, both of my doctors told me I could not take care of him at home. I did take care of him as his health dwindled. By mid-July his cancer had metastasized into every major bone from his thighs to his neck. We began Hospice Care the beginning of August as it was his wish to pass away at home.
Eventually, we arrived at a Friday night in late September He had been restless and I was sitting with him, holding him, trying to calm him. Suddenly, he began to talk to me about what he wanted for me after he was gone.
We held each other, talked and cried together. He slept restlessly that night and throughout the next day. The following night around midnight, I heard him calling me. Once again, he had fallen. I picked him up, sat with him, tried to feed him, but he was too restless and tried to stand up again.
As soon as he stood he became panicked and yelled that he was falling. I tried to get him into bed, hoping that would help. When he lay down, he again panicked and yelled he was falling. Nothing I did could relieve what he was experiencing. I had gotten only three hours sleep in the last two days.
By 5 AM I was exhausted trying to keep him safe in what I later learned was terminal psychosis. I finally called Hospice and requested that they provide a respite for a few hours while I slept. By the time he left, it was 5: I managed to get to sleep around 6, but suddenly woke up at 7 AM. I just sat holding my phone. A few minutes later, Hospice called to inform me that he had passed away at 7.
Gene sun-downed badly whenever we were separated and I later learned he was a handful for them, calling and calling me. He had wanted to die at home and I faltered in his most final hours and took that away from him. He died on September 30, Three months and 14 days after my mom. Added to that, one of my cats passed away the following May, and my dog suddenly died lying beside me in September I spent the next 18 months alone and praying to die.
Some family tried to stay close for the first year, but then drifted away. The loneliness was overwhelming. The only way to cope was to just exist, still wanting only to die, eating only when I was hungry, sleeping when I was tired. My neighbor and his wife were and still are a tremendous help, planning activates to help draw me out, but always without any pressure.
I felt the pressure inside me. Catherine, you talk of your moment. One night about four months out, I was sitting in the dark, crying, when a car pulled into the alley beside my house. What a blindsiding crash that was!
In fact, it is hell. Being alone in everything is unimaginable painful. No husband by my side anymore. No mom to talk to. No husband to give me his silly hugs and kisses. No dog to curl up with and cry. No Daphne the cat who only ever wanted love. No husband to continue to sustain me as I still dealt with the aftermath of a year abusive previous marriage. And I kept thinking I need to get over it!
But then I came across a sentence somewhere that brought things more into focus for me: I realized that if I tried to give my grief a chance to evolve, I could still love Gene just as much, love mom just as much, love Daphne and Dancer just as much. It took me another eight months to even be ready to consider a life alone, then another year of trying to find my way. But this is my year: For Gene, I need to find out who I am and learn to live peacefully with myself.
My heart breaks for all that you have endured …I am so proud of you for deciding to get on with life.. I only hope soon I will be able to do as well… I have no idea what is Iin Store for me..
We had lots of time to talk.. Keeping you in my thoughts.. My husband was truly all I had for social support; he was my best friend and I moved in so that he could be closer to his children from a previous relationship. I am afraid of making any more changes even though it has been almost 2 years. I am no longer sure about what would be best for me and I truly lack the confidence to get back out into the world.
Looking for support from others who have been through and are going through such a painful loss. Kathryn Kulp, I hear you so well. I moved here in because my future husband worked here, and he was all I needed for the 13 years we were together. I also have no children. Kathryn, there is NO timetable for the grief we feel with the loss of a life partner. Be gentle with yourself, and gently look at small ways to motivate yourself. If its important to you, you will come back to it when the time is right.
When I make the request, I might remind the doctor that I lost my husband blank time ago.. My story is above in case you want to check.
My darling husband died recently at I am 52 and feel cheated and very resentful. Whats the time frame to look at counselling? I ask as I was asked if I had sought this yesterday during a meeting sorting out legal stuff. I said not t the moment. Later I felt angry I guess. My emotions are all over the place and what I feel is different to our -my 3 sons in their 20s. Theres a local widowers group but nothing for widows.
Do we just cope better or are expected too? Someone at the supermarket commented that it was good I was getting out and about. Well 2 sons are still living at home,one long term as has special needs and one short term so we have to eat. The homemade baking has been lovely but sometimes one has to eat more than just cake! She is a badass gamer who wants to help society at large.
In both versions, Art3mis is a female blogger and Gunter, but that is pretty much where her personal storyline dies. In the novel, Cline spends a lot of time building the expectation of how spectacular Atr3mis is at her craft.
Wade idolizes her because she is seriously amazing and not because she looks a certain way. Most of this backstory is stripped away in the film. This is something that was executed better in the Jumanji reboot, which takes four teenagers and sucks them into the Jumanji video game.
In the book, their dalliances in the OASIS lead to the complicated relationship that pivots between friendship, rivalry, and romance. The romance part is pushed for excessively by Wade, who admits straight away that he has feelings for Art3mis. All of the cuts used to make the movie to time sacrifice the richness of her character thanks to conventional male storytelling, something Steven Spielberg knows a lot about.
Three out of thirty. Which makes sense as a majority of his films have male leads. Something fittingly nostalgic for women everywhere. During a decade-long meltdown, she burned her life to the ground and revamped it as often as Madonna. Can we please have one moment of peace and not turn everything into a triggered debate? After the Credits Episode Wow, cool it on the zealous hatred of men.
You are so very wrong on so many of these points and you are rewriting what was in the movie to try to fit them. Mental gymnastics and little moral constitution in this article. A throw away line about parents dying.
Huge backstory much wow. Sam actually gets more filled in as we find out how her father died at least. Not much but more then the lead character. Next up Sam being a badass. Who shows Wade the ropes about being a star? How would she know that? Even the more subtle hints lean towards her being awesome. In fact I would rate Wade as the worst player out of the main characters and he really only comes through because of buying something cool or because of his knowledge of Halliday.
Then you have the looks. What about her usual big red jacket?
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