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Benedict's book, filled with compelling and heartbreaking stories, is a groundbreaking testament to the bravery, resilience, and almost insurmountable obstacles faced by women stationed in Iraq. The Lonely Soldier has strong merit as an account of women's military experience in this long and reckless war. You know these women—they are your mother, sister, cousin, daughter. Their stories of injustice in the U. It's must reading for everyone who cares about women, justice, fairness, the military, and the United States.

Army and serving in Iraq. A crucial accounting of the shameful war on women who gave their bodies, lives, and souls for their country. Helen Benedict, a professor of journalism at Columbia University, has written frequently on women, race, and justice.

Would you like to tell us about a lower price? If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? The Lonely Soldier --the inspiration for the documentary The Invisible War --vividly tells the stories of five women who fought in Iraq between and and of the challenges they faced while fighting a war painfully alone.

More American women have fought and died in Iraq than in any war since World War Two, yet as soldiers they are still painfully alone. In Iraq, only one in ten troops is a woman, and she often serves in a unit with few other women or none at all. This isolation, along with the military's deep-seated hostility toward women, causes problems that many female soldiers find as hard to cope with as war itself: As one female soldier said, "I ended up waging my own war against an enemy dressed in the same uniform as mine.

She follows them from their childhoods to their enlistments, then takes them through their training, to war and home again, all the while setting the war's events in context. We meet Jen, white and from a working-class town in the heartland, who still shakes from her wartime traumas; Abbie, who rebelled against a household of liberal Democrats by enlisting in the National Guard; Mickiela, a Mexican American who grew up with a family entangled in L. Between these stories, Benedict weaves those of the forty other Iraq War veterans she interviewed, illuminating the complex issues of war and misogyny, class, race, homophobia, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Each of these stories is unique, yet collectively they add up to a heartbreaking picture of the sacrifices women soldiers are making for this country. Benedict ends by showing how these women came to face the truth of war and by offering suggestions for how the military can improve conditions for female soldiers-including distributing women more evenly throughout units and rejecting male recruits with records of violence against women.

Humanizing, urgent, and powerful, The Lonely Soldier is a clarion call for change. Read more Read less. Prime Book Box for Kids. Add all three to Cart Add all three to List.

One of these items ships sooner than the other. Buy the selected items together This item: Ships from and sold by Amazon. Customers who bought this item also bought. Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of 1. American Women at War in Iraq. Once a Warrior--Always a Warrior: Love My Rifle More than You: Young and Female in the U. Shoot Like a Girl: Review Benedict's book, filled with compelling and heartbreaking stories, is a groundbreaking testament to the bravery, resilience, and almost insurmountable obstacles faced by women stationed in Iraq.

Beacon Press; 1 edition April 1, Language: Start reading The Lonely Soldier: Don't have a Kindle? Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Read reviews that mention helen benedict female soldiers sexual harassment must read read this book bush administration lonely soldier female soldier male soldiers served in iraq national guard sexual assault women veterans every day towards the women military service many soldiers stories of women serving in the military women who served.

There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later. Thanks to Helen Benedict from veterans and active duty. Maybe someday people will listen and really hear the truth even if it takes some glitter off the military image. The military service members are more important than the military reputation. Military Service members do not have the normal rights a citizen does. They are under the Military Code of Justice instead and are not innocent until proven guilty and have no real power to be heard or hope of being believed.

That was true in and remains true today because no one wants to be bothered and they somehow imagine pristine justice is available under the code. First I have to admit I'm writing this review as a mere civilian and outsider: I'm a guy living and working in Middle Europe, have never served in the army, never used a weapon, and never witnessed any armed conflict or violence.

The book gives an insight into the life of five women, who joined the armed forces of the U. As a civilian, I was reading it as a rare first-hand experience of a war, which most of us only watched on TV.

We knew that soldiers and Iraqi people are getting killed almost every day, but for many of us the whole thing just seemed so distant. And now it came very close, and real. Honestly, the personal stories that these women told have really touched me.

I often felt deeply involved. While I was reading the harder parts of the book - harsh living conditions, sicknesses, mortar attacks, fights - I constantly wished I could help these girls and women somehow.

Although I haven't experienced such extreme circumstances in my own life, I could imagine their situation, and it was so moving when they talked about their struggles, their pain both physical and mental. I kept on thinking to myself, "They did not deserve this". It was also a delusion getting to know how USA, the world's strongest economic and military power, treats some many? And one more important aspect I'd like to note: I must have learned something.

There were only two things which disturbed me a bit. First, as earlier reviewers have already noted, it tends to focus mainly on the problems, difficulties and struggles, while happier periods are summarized in like one or two short sentences, to give room for the next problem. Second, I had a slight feeling that the stories deliberately end or get cut off in sadness, as if Benedict wanted to "over-emphasize" their drama at the end of her book.

I would have welcome some kind of epilogue or afterword. All in all, this book made a big impression on me, despite its slight pessimism and bias I've mentioned. It was well worth reading. I would recommend it to anybody who'd like to get an insight into the lives of female soldiers of today.

Kindle Edition Verified Purchase. Made me angry -- first, the abhorrent behavior towards the women by the men who are supposed to be on their team, and second, for the horrible conditions to which all soldiers were exposed so Halliburton esp KBR could improve their bottom line.

But I feel better for having been exposed to this painful knowledge. Much gratitude to Helen Benedict for writing this, as well as the women who were courageous enough to speak with her. This should be required reading for all women planning for military service. Unmanly behavior is a disgrace and dishonors the perpetrators plus those who look the other way. Violence perpetrated against military brothers and sisters is reprehensible. This book is heart breaking. I did not know that this was going on.

It just makes you think twice about sending someone you love into the military. I could not put this book down even tho it makes you want to cry. You feel so bad for these women. Never once did I feel these women were lying, and to even think that someone would not believe them is beyond me.

I highly recommend this book. I am not a woman and not a veteran. I am a psychologist who works with veterans, both female and male. This is, so far, the most accurate and therefore the best book I have read thus far about the experiences of female soldiers. Almost all the female soldiers I have interviewed report rapes, attempted rapes, and big time sexual harassment by men who are supposed to be their comrades and by the superiors in their chain of command.

Some reported it; all were discouraged from doing this and harassed for doing this. Most learned not to report it, perhaps even to themselves. Many of these soldiers talk or do not talk about the rapes as if it is obvious to any idiot that no one will care about it or do anything about it. As a human being, and the father of a daughter, this saddens and horrifies me. Benedict is also good on the sense of betrayal and loneliness these soldiers experience.

Being raped or harassed by your own men is like being an incest victim: Not surprisingly, these soldiers feel betrayed, on guard, and distrustful on a deep and intimate level which does harm to their marriages and their families. It is hard to trust your husband when he is a member of the gender that has screwed you. It is hard to be as casually close to your children as you would like when you don't trust the ability of humans, including yourself, to be compassionate.

Benedict's suggesions for change are good, especially the demand that the military make treating female soldiers in one's command well a criterion for promotion. Benedict is good also on the lack of services provided for these women in the service and upon return to civilian life; she is a little vague about the lack of services and concern offered to their families as well.

Lonely | Definition of Lonely by Merriam-Webster

You need medical help. If you live in a state of fear and panic and cry all the time, you are suffering from serious depression, or even having a nervous breakdown, and you must explain your situation to your GP. I recognise everything you are telling me: That very state of mind is preventing you from reaching out for help. Because of your social isolation, there is nobody around you to say, "This isn't normal, you need help".

So I am saying it instead. What can your GP do? The right medication would give you relief from the worst symptoms of depression. It would create a respite for you to make some changes in your life that would set you on the road to recovery and renewed membership of the human race.

You are a coper, and I suspect that this is the face you present to the world. You look organised and well-groomed. You have made a habit of managing major problems without help, and you have learned a lot, which is great and will stand you in good stead.

What is not great is that this appearance of supreme self-sufficiency may have lost you friends. Yes, you can manage and handle things and look after yourself but you are very unhappy. Something isn't working, even though it may have worked in the past. It is time for some new behaviour. New behaviour for you would include making a conscious effort to reach out to other people.

Being self-sufficient leads to isolation, and isolation doesn't work as we grow older. It can be self-perpetuating and lead to the fearful depressive state in which you find yourself. I am sure that your legal, financial and practical problems have contributed to your exhaustion. We all need the love and support of other people. We need kindness and laughter and companionship in our daily lives. We need new things to do and companions to do them with.

We need breaks from our habitual surroundings. Are you good at taking holidays? Don't be afraid to go alone. Companies like Solitair , Saga or Just You specialise in well-organised, single travel for all ages and offer a terrific range of destinations, from weekends in Spain to spa holidays in India. You will make new friends, as well as gain a fresh perspective on your life and a boost to your health and spirits.

And when you are at home again, think hard about how you want your life to be. Those friends you don't see any more are still there, probably feeling that you don't need them. If you're still that angry and wounded, get help.

Some therapy, meditation, or a little alone time wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for you. The point is, hold back from dating until you're healed. Listening and wanting to know everything about her earns you major points. Let go of your fear and allow yourself to love again. Despite the occasional dating disasters and mating missteps, there's a lot to love about you guys. You're older and wiser, smarter and sexier than you were in your younger days.

Plus, your experience and maturity give you more depth and better perspective in life. I say it's time to use it to your advantage. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. We love you guys and want the best for you, so here goes. Chicks dig fellas in their 50s. We're rooting for you men, so go get 'em just don't go too fast.

Follow Treva Brandon on Twitter: Writer, fitness professional, dating expert, imparting wit and wisdom about life and late blooming love at www.

The anonymous woman, whose blog is called The Plankton, is not alone in believing that there are problems specific to being a single woman in middle age. A survey this month found eight out of 10 women over 50 think they have become invisible to men. Seven out of 10 women in the study felt overlooked by the fashion industry, while three-quarters of women in their 60s believed they had lost their identity by being labelled as a "mum".

Women and men are living longer and fitter lives; the average age at which we divorce is rising — 41 now for women and 43 for men — and the number of single parents is projected to rise to 1. There is a new demographic of confident and experienced women, at their sexual peak as far as science is concerned, who would like to find a partner.

But life, friendship and love for the single woman in her mids and beyond has its own particular complications and sorrows. Susan Quilliam, a relationships expert and agony aunt, said that some women were suffering "terribly". They are also much more in a rush to get into a new relationship and are much less likely to give someone a second chance, which may seem callous but they are much more likely to fall in love quickly.

For men, it's a case of you fulfil the criteria, let's buy the double duvet. It's a shame men aim for the younger age range because women of 45 and 55 are arguably much more sexually mature and able to give a lot more pleasure than, say, a woman of The author of the Plankton blog sums up the emotional aftermath of her divorce in bleak fashion: I am already in a wilderness — maybe [facing] my time again, over 40 years, it's possible, but with no one.

She points to a passage in the book Intimacy by Hanif Kureshi, when his narrator briefly considers the fate of the woman he is leaving: She will, unfortunately, become the recipient of sympathy.

At dinner parties divorced men will be placed next to her. But according to many singles, even getting invited to the dinner party can be tricky when people tend to socialise with other couples as they get older and settled into marriages and parenthood. Katie Sheppard, the director of relationships at Match.

Its research shows that dating is, especially for divorced women, fraught with complication, anxiety and worry. Looking for second-time love when children are a first priority is a challenge.

'I am years-old, widowed and desperately lonely. I am years-old, twice married and a widow of a few years. . Women's Health». Single women in their 40s and 50s are increasingly feeling that their love Single parents describe themselves as lonely, isolated, vulnerable. Women over 50 who are single may feel alone on Valentine's Day. But you are never really alone when you honor your own heart, and the love you have to share What does it feel like to be old and alone? - Duration: