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Re: Indian man looking for girl friendship w4m Trust me.
I am agood looking male, not some kind of creepster. White men preferred no endless or collectors either. What I'm waiting for is someone to do things with. You're confident enough to bust a move on the Max and I couldn't even shoulder up the lady-balls to tell you it was awesome. You probably saw the ring.
He felt the same way and for a few weeks we dated, spending every possible moment together getting to know each other. First, it was great to realise that not all Indian men are afraid to be with a white, divorced women for fear of what their parents will say. The second thing that happened really took me by surprise. I am used to being stared at simply because I look different and stand out here in India. I never take it negatively because everyone takes a peek just out of curiosity.
From cute groups of nuns-in-training power walking around Richards Park in their sweet pink sarees, to little girls who wave as they pass by me, to uni students or power women and, of course, most Indian men who spot me. Normally it never bothers me at all but this time it did. Then she proceeded to point, bring in what looked like her sister into the gossip-fest … they pointed, laughed.
She stared with a look of disgust at me and continued to gossip to each family member as they filed by, pointing and judging us. After a spell, I stared hard right back, waved to them though I had considered flipping her the bird, I did decide to take a classier approach to the situation. That sort of broke it up and they continued out the door. I suppose that is a possibility as well. But it is hard for me to understand because I truly — from the bottom of my heart — feel that everyone is equal and no one race or nation or group is superior to another.
And why the colour of their skin or where they were born should be any concern to anyone else but themselves. Passing judgement on people without knowing a thing about them is a terrible pastime. I suppose we all size people up by the look of them — judging a book by its cover so to speak. But taking it any further like that woman did is just awful. Indian men are handsome I love that dark chocolate coloured skin!
I started Angela's Bangalore from my hotel room on the very first day I moved to India in , while struck with jet lag! It was my very first blog, the country's very 1st luxury travel blog. Has to be just the conservative states?? White people live in a bubble that everything is great and there is no racism in most or all parts of USA.
You will be shocked at the current reality.. Sam kind of got right to the point here. For an Indian man dating in LA or NY or Miami can be even harder, not just because of frowning upon it, but because most white women in the United States are biased against dating Indian, M. To the gym I go, and the local India Bazaar grocery store. She was really happy for both of us too. From an Indian guy whose been in a relationship with a white girl, honestly Indian guys out there, if you feel discriminated, or consciously avoided, most of the time it is because of your personal qualities or attractiveness.
Lets be real, is your personality welcoming and interesting? Are you well dressed and well groomed like other American men? Do you work out like most other American men? It is a level playing field, you have to oust your competition. For example, Bollywood actor Rithvik Roshan could get any girl he wanted, regardless of race or anything like that. The problem is that a large portion of us Indians are raised with school first, social life later mindset.
As a result you have these 25 year old Indian men that have less interesting personalities, less masculine attractiveness than their caucasian counterparts who have been developing their social skills from the ages of puberty. To Indian Guys who feel incapable of chasing women you feel you are unsuitable for, stop secluding yourself within boundaries, and do some introspection.
It definitely goes both ways and sideways. Both perspectives are presumptuous and disrespectful IMO, but they are often aired, and usually with a protective intent, and mostly people turn them into good-natured jibes or jokes. It also takes a certain amount of getting over yourself and your own expectations. In our case, we have always been honest about the challenges: If we come out of this as nothing more than good friends it will have been worth the experience. Thank you Sasank for speaking the truth.
I am an Indian woman and have preferred to date white men when living in UK precisely for the reasons you have mentioned.
I hope more Indians would realise this and improve their social skills without automatically assuming that just because they are men they can reach to any woman they want without first having to work on themselves. I understood why but it still made me angry.
Angela,Its not just you who are curious about Indian men or keen to form a opinion about them. Though what the future holds for such relationships,has a big question mark. It was four years back she hails from North Carolina and was pursuing her graduation from University of Virginia.
Soon the romance was in air,from bollywood movies to hollywood,to indian authors,to indian cuisines,to places in india. The tete a tete lasted for almost for two years. We started dreaming about having a future. I spoke to her dad also on various occasions. She is a Catholic Christian and I am a Hindu and she was adamant of me adopting her religion. I think it was the turning point. Soon she joined Department of Justice and snapped all ties with me. Long Distance Relationships hardly founds a future.
Though u are in India and u have Indianized yourself a lot. I hope ur dating and meeting turns out into a beautful Relationship and u will be able to find ur Dream Indian Man.
Thanks for your kind words and for taking the time to be so open and share your experience. I agree most people judge the book by its cover.
I respect all cultures and there is positive in every culture that can be gained by dating or marrying people from other culture. However, this needs a lot of patience and understand from each other, which unfortunately has low statistics in this dynamic world. I am an Indian who dated American and still love her though she left me because of cultural misunderstanding.
I know that if a white woman gives me a chance and holds my hand, she will NEVER leave me guaranteed. I just know it. I never dated one, but intend to. I told you about the ignorance around here and it makes the job more challenging. I am a white girl dating an Indian man in NY and believe me it is not easy at all. I have been with my boyfriend for a little less than a year and he has not told his parents about me yet and he told me that she will try to sabotage our relationship if I meet her.
Yeah, that sounds about right. Also means your relationship is going nowhere perhaps. In my personal life, I am dating a woman from the next state — Kerala. You should hear the stories that floats around her relatives thankfully, most of my close relatives are just fine with it.
Angela, I am so happy to hear that you have been meeting the right Indian men, and that they do exist. Feel free to send some up to Mumbai for me. Hey there, I really enjoyed that first Sri Lanka blog you launched last week not caught up on rest yet sadly — sounded like so much fun! Thanks, I loved Sri Lanka, it is high on my list of places to return to.
Still got one more blog on Colombo to come in the next week. Did you party in Colombo? I heard it is quite rough there … fights breaking out a lot, etc.. No partying, I was travelling with my parents. I wanted to say that there are 5 guys to one woman here, so anyone who speaks of personality and being cool is full of crap.
I always love reading that someone will pray for me, I find that so touching. Good story but I thought the ending would have been happier for ya!. It will be in the mean time you are a happy person so that the hell live and let live!. Nooooo it is a happy ending in many ways. There was a typo in my earlier comment. She was jealous, she could not be the woman sitting next to this power guy.
Most of them have henpecked boring husbands at home. Most Indian woman are not racist, but yearn to the that fair lovely blonde. Part of it is also the general attitude of women and men towards women and the West in this society.
I can say this because the other day I heard a relative of mine take a dig at the West and women in particular, saying that well! The reason she blurted this out was we were watching TV and caught glimpses of women in cute little skirts. I thought they were cute but she had to offload her negativity. According to her, she did the right thing by getting married at 20 and having children while I am 34 and refusing to settle down as of yet.
Deep down I do think she wants to be like me I am very liberal and independent but she did not have the chance to do so because of societal constraints. So she gets over it by taking digs at me and the west sometimes. If she truly accepts what is, maybe her house of cards comes tumbling down.
All we can do is bless their small minds even though it can hurt at times.
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I am sorry you had to experience this awful scenario but hopefully, your experiences have been wonderful! Thanks for your sweet reply. I am glad you appreciated my wacky humor especially about wacky, bigoted, narrow-minded, gossipy, washed out Indian auntie types! When I got my divorce from my american ex-wife, I realized quickly that I am stuck with dating western women.
When a progressive, liberal, educated, post-modern, Europeanized Indian man like me attempts to date an Indian woman, divorced or never married, he is inevitably dragged into primitive, medieval, 19th century, maybe even 18th century Indian cultural baggage. Groan, a No-No-No for me! Not even one of the several western many american women I have dated ever considered me to be a lesser human for being divorced. Like-wise , their divorced status , with or without kids was immaterial to me.
Most of my Indian male friends, divorced from their Indian wives have inevitably hitched up married with american or other western women and likewise with divorced Indian women albeit to a lesser extent. It is almost impossible to meet at the far end of the west or the far end of the east but you meet at the cross-roads. The sunsets are better at the cross-roads. Ironically, my current american gf, my fiancee finds me more desirable that I am divorced, have the life experiences and I find her to be more desirable that she too has a similar past, albeit she is a bit younger.
Plus the fact that she is madly in love with Indian culture more so than I am into Indian culture allows us to meet at the East-West cross-roads where the sunsets are better! I like my wine, beer, European art, European films and elegant European meals. She likes her version of Indian culture, Indian art, Indian music and an Indian guy to share it with to boot!!
So, I look forward to reading and absorbing your intellectual and cultural depth and of course, your dazzling , enchanting beauty! I have always found Vanilla and Cappuccino mix my skin color to be tastier than just plain vanilla or just plain Cappuccino!
In , this hilarious French comedy about a tall blonde french detective was an incredibly successful film,. Holy cow, you need to start a blog hahaha Daaaang that was long. Women are believed to be goddess of house who brings luck, knowledge, etc etc but it is also true that many early settlers in west were the ones who married white women today their generations are every where.
Hey Angela , I came across your blog today and fond it very Interesting. Its not just about dating white girls,they would have issues even if the guy is dating an Indian girl who spoke a different language. You should read this book called two states by Chetan bhagat..
But yeah one more thing ,not everyone is like that, my sister has an American boyfriend and will be marrying him next month. She was just jealous and envious of you. So chill and have fun…;. Please let me add my two cents here… I am a white American woman who is married to a gorgeous Indian man who was born in India. We are both professionals. We have a lovely young son. Also, he is a few years younger than I am.
It was a bit difficult for his parents at first but they are wonderful people who now love and accept me and our marriage. Yes, Indian women do stare at me when we go out. I have just gotten used to this as a cultural thing.
Also, because I am different- blonde hair, blue eyes, and very fair skin. My Desi man is sexy, smart, loving, and a wonderful husband and father who does his fare share of child rearing and housekeeping. What could be better? Hamraj is my name, my mother is forcing me to marry a Indian girl, I want to marry a white woman.
I love the radiance of white women, it invigorating! I came across your blog as I am a white woman in Texas who has dated multiple Indian men. Whilst one was Catholic I am too he told me that his mother would not approve because I was not Indian. My current boyfriend is Hindu and we have not had this conversation yet, but it scares me. Perhaps I should start dating back within my own ethnicity so this hurt does not keep happening?
Best of luck to you! I wanted to make a comment. Firstly, white woman are pretty, but ignorant and reserved here for the most. They tend to prefer their own clan. By the way I have the best personality, well groomed and have an excellent figure and wheatish face. It just redneck here. So in my case what Ajay Texas said does not apply. I really loved reading your post and I have so much to comment on your review on dating indian men but I want to keep it short. It is very unique and rare in white girl to have a taste for Indian men.
They are not only good looking but well educated and highly attired women. The another thing I also wanted to say that indian women are generally very conservative, sometimes in good ways and also bad ways. The woman who laughed at you is probably not even literate. So, there is nothing to worry at all, you will find these people every day in life and is also disappointing that experiencing this event in really top class restaurant like samarkhand, is very unlikely and should not happened.
However, there a thousands of people in bangalore who have all the money to buy designer wear bags and not even able to pronounce the brand correctly. I really dont like to talk about it. However, they will surely accept a blonde girl as there daughter in law, if I feel she is the one for me. I am pretty sure that if my child is ready to marry ethnically different person, I will agree on it.
I hope you find a amazing husband. If you make Indian parents fall in love with you, the marriage is literally done.
Your comment made giggle, thanks for that! I will probably never see that particular Indian man again but I will always cherish that time and the experiences I had with him around Bangalore.
By the way, I went to UCI for about a year, lived in Newport Beach on 39th Street at that time…had a white Jeep Wrangler and used to roller blade on the boardwalk every night. I have very happy memories from that time. I lived in El Segundo for 1 yr and had a business in Dwtn L.
A on 7th and Grand. I have not been to Bangalore since 94, but reside in Mumbai when I go to India. The best part about me is I can date or marry a white girl and there are no restrictions. How easy can it get. You are forgetting that generation that was talking bad about you, came from being on the cusp of being disrespected, raped, and otherwise mistreated by the british. There were whole streets in Calcutta where indians were not allowed and a lot of that anger and hatred carries forward.
Nothing new about that, in the US we routinely get asked the same stupid and equivalent dumb questions whenever something bad in Pakistan, the middle east, or any non-white country occurs. You look like a wonderful person, enjoy your time. The divorce and kid thing also has nothing to do with you, if you were Indian and the same thing you would have the same issues, and it is not that you are divorced it is that they believe you have a pattern for leaving your husband so you will repeat.
Hello, Great to hear about your experiences with Indian men and wish you the best. I love my wife dearly and we have a wonderful relationship. I have dated women of other races in the past. A lot of it has to do with their attitudes and lack of understanding and integrating with life in America. Like many traditional indian men, they base their understanding of American on movies or books rather than real life or approach American women like they were Indian and come across as pushy and domineering here.
I mention this in response to some of the posts citing racism in America. If they were to approach an American woman on the same cultural playing field as an American man, since they are in America, it would work. I am not dominant or pushy and just ask to go for coffee and they refuse outright.
I have lived here all my life, so no excuses that I am Indian etc…. I play sports and am not intimidated by any white guy or girl, so integration is not an issue. Yes it is racism here period.
I told you it has just started to change, but you hardly see mixed couples here. I rest my case. I think its better to marry in the same culture you brought up because it adds less complication to relationship. I am not saying not to date anyone beyond your culture if you knew you can handle it with dignity and trust. My parents came from India but i grew up in Asia pacific in an eastern European neighbor hood community.
Infact you can say i grew up with them their culture their tradition makes me feel home. And the ladies i dated are all from Eastern European none from India. Because i knew there is big difference in culture and i may not able to handle stress that comes with it. I married my Romanian sweet heart and we have 6 year old daughter from this marriage.
If you ask me if we had problem sure like every couple but never had cultural problem coz i understood her culture very well. If you are uncertain of different culture then its better you stick to your own. It saves your time from divorce. Well good luck with that. You will find love when you least expect it.
And to date someone of different culture you have to understand their culture. No one would date a guy or girl who is complete alien to their culture and why would they. I am telling you from my personal experience.
Best Wishes from New Zealand. Ok nothing about culture race and religion I think. Maybe growing up in Texas has to do with this? Try to be cool,be yourself. Work on personal growth first. Do not complain about it in front of her rather talk something else like how you talk to your friends. Make her comfortable around you,take her to dates that involved many activities like visiting museums,walk around in the city,show her what your made off.
Take her to an art or pottery class,be spontaneous. Do not bring her to a movie. I am not sure if you are referring to me. How can I be creepy and controlling. Desperate, maybe cause I have been looking for the past 1 year. You would be too, if you had no luck. Where do you live. What is a pacific Islander. Ross, another point I wanted to make is if you came here, you would be dry too. Because you are not Caucasian.
It does not matter how you look physically, this is how it is. You have a serious issues with your self esteem and confidence ,women can detect that. No Ross, this place is like that. I have issues maybe, but even you would be a turnoff to woman. Other places are more open than here, trust me.
You have not told me where you live. I do not have issues with my confidence, but on the contrary woman are stuck up here. I will watch hitch the move when I have time. Last weekend, I went up to an Asian girl and just introduced myself I am not into Asian girls and her body language was get lost.
It is very diversified and people are more open minded accepting than say Iowa. It has nothing to do with self esteem or confidence, but the opposite sexes attitude. There are a lot of stuck up people because there are guys that make big bucks here, plus it is very much a white majority population.
You can get a girl here, but not one of your dreams. Maybe , you come on too strong and sare them away. Being too aggressive isnt good. Most women like to take their time,slow and steady and see how it goes. You presented yourself as aggressive which equals desperations. When you talk to them dont make it like an interview and be funny,tell jokes. Be smart but not to a point of shooting her down,listen to her.
Man,I could charge you for being a coach lol. Ajay, your comment regarding about too many guys making big bucks here in Edmonton just shows that you lack confidence. Stop having self pity and go out with tons of women at the same time but with proper scheduling otherwise they will accuse you of cheating even though women are doing the same thing-its about mate selection process. Anyhow,my current gf is Canadian from Saskatoon. Ross, I am not getting intimidated.
You are not accepting the facts. I spoke to a good looking white dude about this and he agreed with me. I honestly was shocked that even he is going through what I am. I have decided to give up here and look elsewhere, no use wasting time and effort.
I went to a party today, had a conversation with a girl. Then 10 min later I wanted to speak to her again, it seemed she backed off. I was not creepy, but just wanted to feel wanted a bit. I actually went to the bar and started crying, I was so hurt. I could not believe these white girls are heartless.
I have a big heart, so I conclude I am not interested in any white girl here anymore. Actually any girl anymore. They now will have to invest in me and pay for my dinners, if they want me.
I will no longer approach them. I am tired of playing games and shit like that. In fact, when I was introduced to Chris Gayle at a private party I stayed for only 3 minutes chatting to him and then I went back to my mate who I had abandoned. Angela,Thank you for your response. I wanted to say that I cannot comment on Indian woman because I am out of touch with them for the past 10 yrs.
As for white woman in Alberta, they are COLD, I cannot comment on other places and yourself, as that would be poor judgement. Why do you not like it when a man chat;s with you? What if I, the best man on the planet like you and want to date you and instead you give me no attention. How should a nice good looking guy meet a beautiful girl? You can see my profile on FB under Ajay Kotecha.
None of my friends like being approached by men while out either. I agree targeting someone to date for the sake of experience is not the correct approach. Focus should be on knowing your priorities and working on goals. I also think dating should go in the direction of long-term relationship and preferably marriage. Dating starts as fun, but if you are not sure what you want out of a dating, then it can hurt you, person you are dating, and it may take a while to come out of it, may be months, years.
So act as if you mean it: Maybe we should meet then. Firstly, the woman-men population in Eastern U. A and Canada is much greater than here. Every nice looking woman here has a bf, unless she plays totally hard to get, which is 1 in a million. So what I state has nothing to do with needy or confidence, but as I mentioned attitude. You can teach me your tricks, but ignorance will not change here. Like I said before,act cool,be flamboyant around women. Be mysterious,play with her mind but definitely not mind games.
Women are stimulated mentally,they get attracted to you. Dont give all your shit at once,let her discover you as youre going to discover her. When you talk to her , make it short yet interesting conversation and move to another person, act like youre in control,you got your shit together,act like a player,act with confidence yet not cocky. The first thing you got to do is make her attracted to. Touch her hand,shoulder or the small of the back when talking but do it if its in a right circumstances.
Dont be too pushy,listen to her,asks questions but never ask about what she does for a living. Test the waters and figure it out what she likes to talk about. Never ask if she has a BF. Just have a converstation like youre talking to your old friend. Second,make her comfortable around you,make her safe around you. Women can detect the slightest creepy personality coming from a person and they will stay away and its called gut feeling.
Try to observe guys who are succesful to women and try to copy them. Ajay,dont show your weak side yet. This is too much work and I am not interested. I am straight and natural. I have had my heart broken too many times. I always wanted a commitment and be loved from a white woman, but now that seems like a dream that will not happen.
One lucky couple for sure, I think whr thr is a will thr is a way. All I know is about the distance is that it can be worked on. Missing someone is an act by brain to keep remembering them. Post navigation Next Article.
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