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Bad Boys have THE reputation: Are they just trying to attain the unattainable? Is it the challenge of making him fall in love—to "capture" him? And, where does this leave the Nice Guy? I asked these questions to over women, a number of other relationship experts, and as many self-proclaimed Bad Boys that would participate.
The results were eye-opening. The stories discussing criminal behavior have not been included. The most interesting thing I encountered was the difference between what the experts say, and the experience of women who dated the Bad Boys.
From accredited psychiatrists, the source of these issues was clear: From Carole Lieberman, M. D, clinical psychiatrist and author of Bad Boys: So they end up kissing a lot of frogs.
Other issues play a part, but the main fundamental, underlying, most important issue is their relationship with their dads. However, the majority of women who responded to my survey stated some very specific reasons why they were attracted to Bad Boys: This topped the list, but I would argue that the other reasons mentioned below contribute to the quality of sex with a Bad Boy.
Women were asked to judge potential mates by how masculine their features are, new research shows. Men with square jaws and well-defined brow ridges are seen as good short-term partners, while those with more feminine traits such as a rounder face and fuller lips are perceived as better long-term mates.
In the study, male and female subjects viewed a series of male head shots that had been digitally altered to exaggerate or minimize masculine traits. The participants then answered questions about how they expected the men in the photos to behave. Overwhelmingly, participants said those with more masculine features were likely to be risky and competitive and also more apt to fight, challenge bosses, cheat on spouses and put less effort into parenting.
Those with more feminine qualities were seen as good parents and husbands, hard workers and emotionally supportive mates. Despite all the negative attributes, when asked who they would choose for a short-term relationship, women still selected the more masculine looking men. From one anonymous respondent: I could never stay with him for long, because what attracted me to him is inevitably what made me leave him in a few weeks.
Who wants a challenge forever? My current bad guy has me wrapped around his finger that is, whenever he decides he feels like he wants to have me wrapped around his finger because he is a challenge to me.
This was also definitely a wolf-in-sheeps-clothing case, too. He swept me off my feet in the beginning: But then once decided he had me at the palm of his hand, the fangs came out and he truly revealed his manipulative and misogynistic ways. Not sure exactly how many details you are looking for, but to answer your overall question, I would have to say that I am still into him because he is such a challenge.
Not trying to change him by any means threw that out the door months ago but instead, trying to see exactly how much I can leanr about myself from him.
This guy was totally manly in every sense of the word. My response to him was on a cellular level. We have to cover the full spectrum of manhood to figure out which one WE like best, and not choose a man strictly based on assuring the approval of our family and friends.
That is to say, that nothing can escape them… no woman can resist their magnetism, no Nice Guy is nice enough to keep a woman away from their pull. Sure, some of it is primal read: Some of them married several of these men.
The women I interviewed had, as children, been treated in ways that lowered their self-esteem. Consequently, as adults, they tended to fall into relationships that were consistent with what they were accustomed to, with men who treated them in ways that were familiar.
They were accustomed to getting back far less than they gave and that pattern continued into the adult years. It was only when their self-esteem improved that they would recognize they deserved better. As many women and men can attest to… age does not always equal maturity. But where does this put the Nice Guys? Well… as cliche as it sounds… they DO finish last. We attended different universities about three hours apart , and he would make late night trips after class and work just to visit me for a few hours, then go back.
He never pressured me for sex and we never slept together. It was a very pure and innocent love. I broke up with him because I thought he was 'too nice'. Everything with him was 'too easy'. I broke his heart, but all that mattered to me was that I wanted someone more fun and exciting! From ages , I had a steady string of bad boys: A third was a gullible guy who listened to everything his friends told him and never to me, and the fourth was a serious emotional abuser.
They were all great at first, but of course, they changed after a few months, much to my dismay. After the final one, I was tired of trying to change guys and mold them. Needless to say, I got him… in that very same guy I dated back when I was Nice Guys don't finish last
Rather, it's because they're confident and assertive - in other words, sexy and charming. Use these pointers to build your masculine confidence and show the world and all the women in it who wears the pants! Whether you're dating, hooking up, or just flirting, your self-interest can be a great tool for attracting women. There's a more universal reason than just helping your girlfriend out.
Click on another answer to find the right one A good reputation is important, but you don't want people to think you're so untouchable that they don't want to be near you! If you're self-interested and not ashamed about it, women will find that very attractive. It shows you know what you want and you're willing to go after it, and that confidence and self-assuredness will help you attract plenty of mates. Read on for another quiz question. Even if you grab takeout from your favorite restaurant or pick up a favorite beer to enjoy at home, you're still on your way to becoming more of a bad boy!
Everyone struggles sometimes -- even bad boys! If you're facing difficulties at work or home, perspective is important for overcoming them and making your personality stronger. Still, eating your favorite foods can have an even bigger impact on you. Of course, everything in moderation -- you do want to stay fit and healthy! Still, eating your favorite foods can help you feel happy, and happiness is a huge component of confidence, so grab your favorite meal today! A little back and forth can keep the relationship fun and exciting!
Still, that won't do much to help you maintain your personal value. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you have to sacrifice everything about yourself. Plan trips you'll enjoy or talk about some of your favorite topics to help maintain some of your personal value in the relationship.
Breaking the routine is an important way to keep any relationship healthy, not just a bad boy's relationship! There are bad boy ways to break the routine, but simply breaking it won't help you maintain your personal value. Above all, be a man. You have your own time, your own dreams, and your own plans, and you should almost never compromise them to make someone else happy romantic interest or not.
For instance, if you don't like something, don't pretend to like it. Be confident about your likes and dislikes - this will naturally attract like-minded people. What do you like?
What do you hate? What is unique about you? What makes you happy? Know your self, or you'll find yourself faking values in order to "fit in.
Become the center of your world. You exist primarily to make yourself happy - others are secondary. Make yourself and your life a priority. If you treat yourself like you're important, other people, including women, will see you as important too. Most people are naturally attracted to important people - being important is cool!
With very rare exceptions, never sacrifice your self-image when pursuing a romantic interest. Do you like a girl who doesn't seem interested?
Forget about her - you're too valuable to waste time trying to appease her. Women will appreciate your self-interest. It shows that you know what you want and you're not afraid to go for it. Stop caring about everything. Nothing's less sexy than someone who's constantly stressed out about every minor aspect of his life. Bad boys don't sweat the small stuff because they're sure that they have it all under control. For instance, in a situation where you're around women that you find attractive, while you won't necessarily want to act like a complete slob, you'll want to try to remain as relaxed as if you were at home watching TV.
Doing this gives the signal to the people around you that you're cool, confident, and in-control of your situation, which, for bad boys, can be downright sexy. It's pretty tough to go from being a nervous, worried person to a smooth, confident player overnight. If you're still working at being relaxed, try slowing down your movements and actions — this is a great first step that will make you look and feel much calmer. Walk with slow, sure strides.
Speak slowly but confidently. Avoid flinching whenever you can. Even for bad boys, things don't always go as planned. In the event that something does go wrong, try not to stress. Instead, play it off with a low-key joke. For instance, if you spill a drink all over yourself, don't spend time worrying about how you'll need to bleach it when you get home.
Instead, just say something like, "Whoa! Looks like I have a new tie-dye to add to my collection. Stop asking for permission or approval. So-called "nice guys" are always waiting for a sign that it's safe to proceed before taking action.
That sign, however, often doesn't come, so they appear indecisive. Be decisive especially with women and handle objections as they come. Don't look to others to determine if you're acting "right". Do what feels right for you. You might be surprised by what you've always had permission to do! The same goes for "Will you go on a date with me?
What's good for you, Friday or Saturday? Have an opinion on everything, from the restaurants you eat at to how you spend your free time. Know what you want, and take action to achieve it - not only will you be more attractive, but you'll be happier. Real men aren't creeps or pervs. Be confident, but also be very aware of your partner's needs. Never, ever force a kiss or worse on someone who doesn't want it. Just as you are keenly aware of your own desires, so are they.
As a man, always lead. Don't wait for someone to tell you where to go or what to do. If your group can't make a decision, make it yourself. Being a leader becomes natural once you stop worrying about other people and go and do what you know you need to do.
You're not being selfish. Rather, you're taking care of your own life because you don't expect anyone to do it for you. Be the leader of your life in every situation - If you want to talk to that girl, or want to get that job, go do it.
Also be a leader to your peers - If a friend is too chicken to talk to a girl, you can tease him a little as long as you're not cruel and your goal is to help motivate him to gain confidence. Your friends will appreciate your help and women will go crazy for you.
Be honest with everyone, especially yourself. One reason girls love bad boys is because they're honest. If a bad boy likes a girl, he will show her. A nice guy tends to hide his interest or beat around the bush. A nice guy tries to be a girl's friend as a stepping stone to becoming her boyfriend, but winds up just being her friend. Most girls know when guys like them.
A bad boy knows this and has no problem showing this to a girl. In order to be a bad boy, be honest about your intentions. Most girls will appreciate the honesty - no one likes wading through friendly BS to find a potential partner. Girls can even appreciate relatively crude signs of interest. For instance, both bad boys and nice guys will look at a girl's chest. However, a bad boy won't care about being caught. This is much more attractive than trying to sneak a peek but being caught.
The bad boy is honest about what he wants and he knows he has no reason to be ashamed. Never "need" anyone else - other people are nice to have around, but not necessary for your happiness.
Learn to enjoy yourself and your own company. You will realize that the less you need other people, the more other people will need you.
Always create your own fun and entertainment. Have a strong passion , and find hobbies and other interests that you would like to spend your time. Never make a relationship your first priority or your only source of happiness.
Stop looking for others, especially women, to make you happy - you don't need them. Men all over the world waste time trying to find happiness in everything except themselves. When you're happy on your own, others will naturally want to be around you. Have a hobby - anything that uses your time and makes you happy. If it's something that lets you come in contact with new, young, sexy people, all the better. It should be something that you're passionate about, something you like, and something that you can build on!
If you don't have or want a hobby, at least volunteer. Use your time to better the world - you're a bad boy, but you're not evil. Value yourself - love yourself in a balanced and respectable way. A "bad boy" is bad because he knows that he is more valuable to himself than others are. He cares about himself.
A bad boy realizes that he knows himself better than anyone else, thus, his opinion about himself is above the opinion of others. It comes down to having self respect, and you must earn your own self respect before you can expect others, especially girls, to respect you. How do you earn self-respect? Create a standard for what you will accept or won't accept from people, and follow it to a T.
The most important part of having self respect is to not put up with people both men and women who are disrespectful toward you or people who are important to you. One problem with nice guys is that they are nice to everyone - even people who aren't nice back. We are all taught to turn the other cheek. In some cases, unfortunately, this only encourages jerks. Don't reward bad behavior.
Be nice to people who deserve it. Remember, being nice to someone mean won't make them like you. Surround yourself with good people who have earned your trust and respect. Be strong physically, but more so emotionally.
As a man, you should be a pillar of strength that your family, friends, and especially women can rely on.
Let go of the need to whine. Realize that no matter how much you complain or vent, your circumstances won't change. Instead, suck it up and handle it. Perpetual victims are unattractive and, more importantly, unable to better themselves. When things go wrong, just do your best to make it through the day. It is easy to get caught in the moment when something bad happens, but just remember that you're a man who solves his own problems and you will be able to handle it.
Make sure the people in your life are taken care of. You shouldn't be anyone's sugar daddy - you are the most important person in your life - but you'll be appreciated and sought-after if you're helpful, strong and reliable. Given the option to play without any constraints, he says, most musicians run into a wall. Returning to the theme later in our conversation, he grounds it in more musical terms: Sensing that listeners would expect the record to be two sides of sustained sonic violence, Haino opted for a different approach.
Channeling the ghosts of early country-blues pioneers like Blind Lemon Jefferson, he performed a series of eerie, extended improvisations on voice and guitar then filleted them into shorter songs. The album became his international calling card, after improv guitarist Fred Frith requested 15 copies and gave them to avant-garde heavyweights including John Zorn and Christian Marclay. It also paved the way for a fruitful relationship with P.
These aren't traits of dangerous bad boys – law breakers, woman abusers, drug users, and even murderers. You don't need to be this type of. From James Dean to James Bond to George Clooney (pre-Amal), girls have always had a soft spot for bad boys. And now science knows why. Basically bad boys aren't shy to tell girls what they want. Being a bad boy is a difficult work to do, they automatically assume that every girl likes.