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A friend who works for the site recently e-mailed me a submission they received, which, unfortunately, is a little too risque for publication on eHow. But not for Slog! Give a woman multiple orgasms by having her sit on your face. Any woman you date is a potential candidate to sit on your face. This is an easy and effective way to please a woman. Enjoy giving oral sex to a woman with every fiber of your being. Start by reading books about it , then ask your partner for feedback.
Listen to her, both her verbal and non-verbal language. Tell her that you want to get into the sixty-nine position, with you on the bottom.
She may try to go back down on you, but push her up. Continue to satisfy her orally and breathe right into her butt. Nudge her up when she starts moaning; continue to lick her vagina.
When she really gets into the move of things, pull her butt down onto your face. Expect one of two things to happen. She relaxes, sits on your face and enjoys the ride, or she resists you at some point. Continue hitting her at the right spots. Hold her hips tightly and keep going at it until she orgasms. Talk to her about the experience after her orgasms.
Tell her that you enjoy heavy face-sitting if she resisted your attempts to get her to fully sit on your face. Slowly work her in. Your encouragement and her willingness to please you help in easing these fears. Resolve this by sniffing her butt during foreplay or after she orgasms. Tell her how great she smells down there. Before you meet a woman, arrange a face-sitting session with a dominatrix. Get her to subject you to brutal, full-weight face sitting.
Uh, unless she scrubbed for twenty minutes with five different types of soap, you don't have to tell her how great it smells. Because it doesn't smell great. A girl friend of mine in college had a boyfriend who, as a special treat during a bout of cunnilingus, ran his tongue back to her butt. She was so upset that anyone would ever think to do such a thing to anyone that she cried. I hope that poor boy didn't let such a violent reaction put him off of salad tossing for good. Sorry- can't get the Monty Python song out of my head Any woman that doesn't LOVE this is crazy, or scared to death that it's beyond perverted and I am deeply sorry for them.
I guess female ejaculation would send them over the edge! I don't know if vacuum-sealed-mash-the-anus-onto-my-nose-squashing is necessary, but having the lady straddle the face is the BEST angle for the cunnilingus. No weird lower-jaw jutting required! Hours of sloppy goodness. Let's work the problem here.
Is this not what scented products were made for? Peach, aloe, a carefully aimed squirt of Chanel No. Surely a resolution can be reached! I mean, for the greater good and all. This is one of the worst guides i've read regarding oral sex. And let's not even get started on the ass part. I wish it was a joke. This a great little guide. It reminds me of something that should be in Box Lunch by Diana Cage which you guys need to read and do an article on if you haven't already.
I even just emailed it to my honey with a little nudge and wink. Hopefully we'll be getting some good salad tossin in here soon Oh my, I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I hate it when people try to cover up bad smells with fragrance. It just leads me to associate that fragrance with that bad smell. Unless the sittee has a cold. Then it's called death by muff-smothering. I guess I must be crazy, then, since I tried it three times, and I hated it.
I did not get anything out of it whatsoever, except feeling slightly damp in an uncomfortable way. I regularly peg and give rimjobs, since my boyfriend is into that, but I can't stop being generally but only privately, so he doesn't feel guilty grossed-out by the concept of ass - not because I think it's perverted, just because I guess love means eating ass while fantasizing about your toothbrush waiting for you down the hall.
It's nice to know that if I don't like sitting on a dude's face, it must be because I'm crazy or frigid, and not because, you know, that particular angle doesn't do it for me.
I thank all the gods that I don't actually believe in that I don't have to fuck you, because lord almighty you sound tedious as hell. People, run a wash cloth over your crotch before sex please. It ony takes a few seconds but could enhance the whole experience. And while we're at it, mouthwash is a must, too. And guys, colognes and cigarettes aren't attractive in the bedroom to everyone.
You know we live in a fancy modern world with soaps and showers and what not. There is nothing wrong with a little clean up before such things. Slog Line Out Stranger audio and video: Comments 1 Uh, unless she scrubbed for twenty minutes with five different types of soap, you don't have to tell her how great it smells.
Posted by god i hate butt October 1, 4: Posted by David Schmader October 1, 4: Crying is definitely not the response you're looking for there. Posted by Fnarf October 1, 4: Posted by Aislinn October 1, 4: Posted by max solomon October 1, 4: Posted by so hawt October 1, 4: Posted by w7ngman fan October 1, 5: Posted by TVDinner October 1, 6: Posted by Carol October 1, 6: Posted by Gloria October 1, 7: Posted by Yogi October 1, 7: Posted by Irena October 1, 7: Posted by Lauren October 1, 8: Posted by morgi October 1, 8: Posted by keshmeshi October 1, 8: I'd rather smell ass than peach-flavored ass.
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There are a lot of other positions to do oral in where you can fully relax without worrying about killing someone. I love sitting on my partners face and he loves it back.
He has made jokes about that being how he wants to die. If he ever needs more air, he just pats my thigh, I move back to his chest and he get a few good breaths in. I think face sitting is the hottest thing ever. Lying on my back is much more comfortable for me, but I used to do it with an ex because he liked it.
My boyfriend loves it. I have done it and it makes me less into the moment. I move around a lot during orgasm. I like to sit back and relax and let him go to town. Ontario real estate specialist. I write relationship advice, GuysInsight, sex, and snark. I am obsessed with big titty goth chicks. Sometimes you just have to pretend they're normal Slightly overlapping in places, the lead singer of Coldplay or Follow yourmomsatonmyface because your mom really did sit on my face.
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Essentially, I don't get enough blood flow to my ears so they are slowly freezing, and they will soon fall off and it will spread to my inner ear and brain. There is no cure, but there is one stopgap I neec go warm my ears constantly to save my life and the only material soft enough is the inner thigh of a pretty girl.
So I need you to sit on my face. For medical reasons Girl are you a gorila exhibit? My bio says "send me your best and shittest pickup lines but don't tell me which one is which jshsksnhakans. Ass, Booty, and Dank Memes: Anaconda, Target, and Tumblr: Ass, Girls, and Memes: Girls avoiding the DMs like G: Hey I have a question Thot end nudes Are personal trainer?
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What the fuck Come sit on my face I'm mad with you Hell nah you might fucking bite me Biting is good for the soul. Dank, Doctor, and Love: Lol, Memes, and Fuck: Didn't know they made niggas like this You gone sit on my face when u come back?
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