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Her hair was curly and untamed, and it lent her an air of slight madness, as though the thoughts in her head were springing directly out through her scalp. While first impressions are often based our expressions and words, the fluffy stuff that frames your cute face also plays a role in how society perceives you.

More often than not, we play the game. We buy the products; we cut, color, highlight, razor and heat our hair to best suit our personalities. Curly hair comes with its own odd sort of self-awareness. If you have it, you probs learned at an early age that a part of you was already railing against the norm.

And sometimes, standing out is the exact opposite of what you want to do. You also realize that most people who love curly hair have never actually had it. As a kid, my ultimate hair-wish was to have flowing, windswept locks. But instead of moving my hair, the wind just moved things into it. Leaves and berries found dangling from my curls like decorations on a Christmas tree were reminders of days spent running around outside skinning my knees and beating the neighbourhood boys at Cops and Robbers.

My head of frizz was like her personal stress ball, except instead of squeezing she pulled — yanking the brush through my hair until it felt like my scalp was in danger of being torn off. When I was thirteen and awkward, I decided my hair needed to be straight.

I was at a hairstyling school, you see. Going to a real salon was too expensive. So there I was sitting in front of the teenage stylist who was nervously eyeing my mass of wild curls like it housed a rabid beast about to jump out at her. It was war — her against my hair — and she yielded those scissors of hers like weapons. I could see her frown in the mirror. Snap, snap, snap went the scissor-weapons, her victims, my curly locks, on the ground like fallen soldiers.

I had to hide my hair in braids until the thinning-scissor-wounds grew out. I looked hot, gay, alternative — very Montreal queer-chique.

I went home and danced around in my kitchen to Metric. I figured longer hair would be more romantic, would better match the ancient architecture. Unfortunately as it gets longer, it also gets more difficult to care for, especially here in Edmonton, a city known for its gigantic mall, not its humidity.

While my straight-haired friends complain about grease, I have the opposite problem. I prefer to condition, condition, and moisturise. The other day I found a jar of coconut oil in the cupboard. I filled a cup with it, put it in the microwave and then dumped it on my hair. Another kitchen product that works well is olive oil.

In fact, even my favourite store-bought hair products are made with olives. This spray-in conditioner smells so good it doubles as a perfume. I like satisfying its every whim, a bottle of conditioner in hand.

Five years ago, I came out to myself as a person with curly hair. As a kid I had a straight, dirty blond mop that I kept hidden under a baseball cap most of the time. But sometime between puberty and college, my hair got darker and wavier. I hardly noticed and for years was convinced that I had the most unruly straight hair in the world. The tipping point was probably when I almost caught on fire while using a flatiron in Hong Kong pay attention to voltage limits you guys.

After that I started experimenting with some hair products and eventually realized that curly hair maintenance was actually much more manageable. My routine is constantly changing but right now it goes like this: The gel helps define the curls and minimize frizziness as it dries.

Next I put my hair up in a small towel for about minutes. During this time I usually get dressed and put on makeup while my hair is out of my face. New England weather can be pretty tough on hair. What I love about curly hair is that it still looks good when messy and can stay styled for awhile with minimal upkeep.

Once a hairdresser handed me a thin-toothed comb and asked me to brush my hair out before she washed it. Things did not go well. Finding a hair salon that understands curly hair is crucial! I love having approximately 3. While other queer girls are perfecting their quiffs and fauxhawks, my incidental butchness is coiled up in my long hair. The curls are a paternal trait; they connect me to the generations of burly Cuban laborers and display my ancestry more than my skin color ever will.

My relationship with my hair is comparable to that of Samson, the guy whose superhuman strength was attributed to his long hair. Like him, the longer my hair is, the happier and healthier I seem to be.

I was born with straight hair. This incident coincided with my newfound obsessions with the Yellow Power Ranger and Moesha Mitchell. My hair changed, as was the way I was treated. Tomboy tangles are ten times more painful to remove when your hair type is essentially a spiral knotted around itself. After I became curly, I began spending a lot of afternoons seated, a parental figure standing behind me, yanking a comb through my hair. Knowing that my hair was his hair, my father taught me to use his gel to prevent both tangling and having to spend more of my precious kickball time under the comb.

Along with thickening my scalp and teaching me a hell of a lesson in patience, those chair sessions would later offer me an inkling on how to manage my curls. As a preteen, accepting coiffure tips meant acknowledging that I was stuck with this hair type.

I was determined to beat the curl out of my girl. In middle school, I wore my hair in a snug, curl-free bun. I unknowingly fell in love with my hot girl drum major. I brushed the curl out. I dated a boy who resembled Shaggy from Scooby-Doo.

In high school, I used a flat iron. I underwent my first and only relaxer, which held my hair straight for two days out of the promised I started questioning things about myself.

I sneaked around and watched The L Word. I cut my hair disastrously short just FYI, the Shane cut was soooo not engineered for curly hair. I realized what my body wanted: To be with other women. And my hair, well, it wanted to be free, too. My hair grew out; I grew with it.

Everything finally felt right. My body does a stellar job of engineering its own natural oils. Shampooing only seems to strip my hair of those while exacerbating the much-dreaded frizz factor. I go through this stuff like most people go through gasoline. Air drying, hand teasing, comb teasing, until dry. Shaking my head like a little lion is a personal fave. I also try to refrain from touching my hair after it dries in order to avoid unnecessary frizz and oil build-up.

Like most curly girls, my hair and I have a complicated relationship. I spent 10 years fighting with my hair in what was ultimately a losing battle in every sense. When my hair started breaking off in massive pieces every time I combed it at 22, I finally started looking at my obsession differently. What was the point of having luxurious straight hair if no one could run their fingers through it? I turned to the internet to see what I could learn about repairing damaged hair and kept finding myself on natural hair websites.

It took six months of reading sites like blackgirlwithlonghair before I realized that the best way to heal my hair just might be to let it do what it wants to do. Why was I washing my hair every day? Why had I never considered leave-in conditioners or oils for moisturizing?

Why was I so convinced that my my curly hair was heinous? Instead of being a fight against nature and myself, it felt kind of like trying on new shoes; different, but not life-altering. Wash it too much and it loses its shine and my scalp starts getting flaky. Wash it too little and the eczema flares up and itches with all the might of a thousand mosquito bites.

Sulfates strip all the moisture from your hair, leaving it feeling squeaky clean. The real magic comes from what I do before and after I shower. Oils are what make my hair do what I want it to do. About once a month or do, I treat my hair with hot olive oil for an hour before I shower and then wash it all out before continuing with the rest of my routine. Are you following us on Facebook? Catch her obsessing over Eartha Kitt at sarahfonseca.

Queer Girl Hairstory: Our Hair's Not So Straight Either Part 1 | Autostraddle

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A choreographer worked with them to develop a dance routine to perform while they lip-synched the background vocals. They did a phenomenal job, and we all had a great time. Chris Newsom of Springfield, Virginia asks: Did you voice your character on Celebrity Deathmatch?

I did think that whoever was doing my voice did a pretty impressive imitation, though! Gina of Alto, MI asks: Originally I was only intended to be in the body of the show, but the recording session went so well, the writers thought it would be a great idea for me to sing an extended version of the parody over the closing credits and of course, I did too!

So they came up with some additional lyrics and I went back to the Fox lot several weeks later to record that as well. For the last decade the Grammys have chosen to limit their nominees in the Comedy category to spoken word performances ie: Was that a real one, or was it a synthesizer?

Normally we probably would have used a synthesizer, but it just so happened that there was an actual B3 organ lying around the Mad Dog Recording Studio, so we were able to get the actual authentic vintage sound.

Jeannie of Tokyo, Japan asks: Bobbi Jordan of Boardman, OR asks: Will you identify for us the people on the cover of Poodle Hat?

The very pregnant woman with the sunglasses is my wife Suzanne. The guy in the surgical scrubs is my friend Joel Miller.

Tracy Berna, one of the writers for the Weird Al Show, is the waitress with the beehive hair-do. Why was your current Al-TV special only an hour long? Is that all VH-1 was willing to give you? Thanks for doing it for ME! Looking forward to another 5 concerts this summer! Andrew Geanacopoulos of Ludlow, MA asks: I thought it would be a good choice to use him as the authoritative voice on the UHF trailer.

CMonkey of Spatula City, Liechtenstein asks: Seriously, how do you rationalize being a vegan and playing a gig at the Great American Rib Cook-Off? Stanley Spudski of Phoenix, AZ asks: Emily of Dayton, OH asks: Which two were they? Actually I only skipped one grade I was pulled out of second grade and placed in third , but I also started kindergarten a year early. What do u think about Napster? I just want to know if you approve. I have very mixed feelings about it. Bill of Torrance, CA asks: Did you sing the following songs: No, no, no, and no.

This is actually my biggest problem with all those mp3-download services. A large number of the songs which are attributed to me are NOT by me at all. Andie Forslund of Houston, TX asks: So old stock footage was used to replace those movie clips.

Years later we finally managed to secure the rights to use the clips, and we were able to release the original version of the video with the movie scenes intact. Autumn Wright of Albany, OR asks: Are you all better now? Luckily it missed my cornea and I healed quickly. Parshall of Brevard, North Carolina asks: And do you have any stake in ownership? Will Dyess of Cincinnati, Ohio asks: Matt Driscoll of Fresno, CA asks: That was the great Gedde Wattanabe, playing the part of Kuni the karate instructor.

Weird Alice of twenty-sevenville asks: Who was that person? When you are in the studio, what order do you usually lay the tracks down on a given song? All other instrumental overdubs come next, and the vocals usually go on last. I just gotta know: I usually use a lyric sheet when I sing in the studio, both to help me remember the words and also to allow me to make notes and changes as I go along. Torso Girl of Sydney, Australia asks: Mandy of Calabasas, CA asks: Rachel Merrick of Turnetr, ME asks: Elysse of Orange County, CA asks: Those were, in fact, two band members.

Crazy Chris of Florence, SC asks: My wife is hearing impaired and none of your music video tapes are closed-captioned.

I want her to appreciate the lyrics also. Can you help me out? I know it starts on the second beat of 4. Can you settle this family feud??? It starts on the second beat. I found it quite funny. Eskimo Joe of Dalhart, TX asks: I would like to ask you a personal question. Linda Shah of Vienna, VA asks: Did ya catch the Judy Tenuta t-shirt? I talked to Judy about it — she had no idea that Chris Guest was going to wear a T-shirt with her picture on it in the movie.

Joe Weatherford of Lexington, KY asks: I had Jim record a scratch guitar track first, and I sang all my vocals against it. Then when we were mixing, we just took the guitar out. Adela of Chandrapore, Indiana asks: Were you really there? Yes, I got to go to the Oscars for the very first time this year. My friend Spike from the Spike and Mike Animation Festival — three of his animated shorts were nominated had a couple extra tickets, and he was nice enough to invite me.

You may have seen me — I was the guy in the tuxedo WAY up in the second balcony. Caroll Flanery of Redding, CA asks: Since I also competed in speech tournaments in high school, I would like to know what was the highest placement you achieved and how many forensics points did you rack up? One year I made it to the State finals with my Expository speech about all the garbage they put in hot dogs and this was years before I turned vegetarian! Scotti Brothers had the same policy.

Brenda of Danvers, MA asks: Sherri Miller of Thornville, OH asks: What do you do when women throw undergarments at you while you are performing on stage? In UHF, was U62 a set or is it an actual building somewhere?

The exterior was actually the building at the bottom of a radio transmitter tower somewhere in Tulsa, but the interior shots were done on a soundstage in an abandoned Tulsa shopping mall. Bjarke Lorentsen of Aarhus, Denmark asks: I think the track is absolutely fabulous, especially the spoon-intermission. Weird Rob of Annandale, New Jersey asks: In school now I am a straight A student. What were your grades as a kid? Why are all of your songs shorter?

I like to tighten up my parody arrangements as much as possible without making the songs sound unnatural. I try to shorten or eliminate instrumental breaks, cut down the repetitive choruses, and also speed everything up just a hair.

Carole of Seattle, WA asks: Since I was on the road for most of the time that the live video was being edited, tapes and mixes had to be Fed-Exed to me at various hotels — and then I sent back my notes for changes. Demento Show, and was just wondering why it never got into one of your LPs. Never got the rights? Decided it was a bit harsh? I wrote that in , but even by when my first album came out it felt a bit dated.

We called them records. Was this a reference to the Talking Heads album with a similar title? Joshua Michael Stewart of Atlanta, Georgia asks: Where does it belong? The folks that mastered the DVD messed up the chapter stops.

Blair Freeman of Carbondale, IL asks: What were the lines? The changes were pretty minor. And I think I slightly changed the very beginning of the last verse for some reason. But overall, I was very, very pleased with how closely those Internet rumors corresponded with the storyline of the finished film. Ali Sills of Petal, Mississippi asks: So… Eddie Vedder is the lead singer of a little band called Pearl Jam.

No — Jerry Springer is considered a public figure, so I have just as much right to do a song about him as I do to write a song about President Clinton or, uh… Eddie Vedder….

Fanny of Sebastian, CA asks: Dear Al, I notice you have six weeks off in your touring schedule. What do you do with your time off? Jason Bach of Gresham, OR asks: Hey Al… I was channel surfing a while back and I came across this show. You were this weird green alien-thingy wearing a suit and your head looked like a giant cabbage… in fact, I think that may have been your name….

Daelin Keller of Ukiah, CA asks: Affy, your close personal friend of Lake Charles, LA asks: Did you hurt yourself? Actually, I did hurt my neck that day, and had to see a chiropractor in Houston.

Hillary Tutor of Great Falls, Montana asks: I was wondering why you wear a clown suit in the beginning of the Bedrock song. The harlequin suit that I wear at the beginning of that song is similar to the one that used to be worn on stage by Chili Peppers lead singer Anthony Kiedis.

Chris Charles of Searcy, AR asks: If I gave you my mailing address, would you send me an accordion autographed by you and all of the band members? Big bowl of sauerkraut!! It was driving me crazy! Wocka wocka doo doo yeah. So I crawled from the twisted, burning wreckage… I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days… dragging along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel.

Well, now who could that be? Yes indeed, you better believe it. And somehow in the middle of it all the phone got knocked off the hook and twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice, and you know what it said? Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest… I would not sleep for an instant… until the one-nostriled man was brought to justice. But first I decided to buy some donuts.

Oh man, they were just going nuts. They were tearing me apart! You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started going through my head. I believe it went a little something like this: Her name was Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches. We were inseparable after that. Aw, we ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss.

Aw, the world was our burrito. So we got married and we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly. Oh, we were so very, very, very happy. Hold on now, baby! Anyway, things really started looking up for me, because about a week later I finally achieved my life-long dream.

I even made Employee of the Month after I put out that grease fire with my face. Oh yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that. You want me to help you with that? How was I supposed to know that? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote. Well, I knew what he meant, but just to be funny I took a big bite out of his jugular vein.

Anyway, I uh… Um… where was I? Do you personally select each one to assure maximum wackiness? I personally screened a mind-numbing amount of footage in order to select just the right bits to use in my educational films. David Ramussen of Kenyon, MN asks: I believe New Orleans is the largest U. Renee Weber of Lancaster, Calif.

I owe you an apology! How much of an annoyance is it to have audience members use flash photography during your concerts? However, most theatres seem to have a strict policy against it.

Bob of Simi Valley, Calif. My girlfriend lived in the Sequoia dorm at Cal Poly in What dorm did you live in? The commercials showed active, happy people drinking coffee while E. How in the world did you end up on the Movie Lounge?!?! Josh Boileau of Manitoba, Canada asks: It sounds close to the same.

He sued Ray Parker Jr. Karla of Lindon, Utah asks: Is there a story behind it? That confused me a lot too when I first saw it. Lindsey of Saugerties, NY asks: Who or what was on that picture? Demento, making one of his famous cameo appearances. If memory serves, I believe the good Doctor was getting married the day we were shooting that scene! Jerry of Haymarket, VA asks: Al, my accordion teacher says that a bass accordion is enough — what would you recommend?

I was just wondering, did you go to your senior prom? Jesamy Porter of Missouri asks: Caitie of Arvada, CO asks: Did you really inhale smoke when you were shooting the video? David Guzman of Brooklyn, NY asks: Harvey was, in fact, feeling a little under the weather that day, so his pal Bob the guinea pig was nice enough to fill in for him at the last minute.

So let us in on the secret. And then as soon as the director yelled cut, the team of highly skilled micro-surgeons that we had standing by quickly attached it back on. Luckily, we only needed to do a couple takes.

Asher Doak of Marietta, OH asks: Hey Al, I was just wondering: You know how Jim usually sings harmony with you during the chorus part of your songs? Do any of the other guys ever harmonize with you?

If so, how many? Actually, on the albums I sing virtually all the harmonies myself. Jimmy Imoehl of Eagle, Wisconsin asks: Al Nennig of New London, Wisconsin asks: Ludwig Von Ruiner of Ruination asks: If and when you have children, will they also be weird? For instance, would you name your son Weird Walter or your daughter Weird Wendy?

By the way, they had asked me to perform a song on the show, but only if I could cut it down to under three minutes. Do you have some other air intake, or way to keep fresh air in your room?

I have to stay out of air conditioning and smoky rooms if I want to avoid losing my voice on the road. If my room ever gets stuffy, I can always open a window and let in some fresh air. How do you finance your music videos? Does the money come out of your own pocket, do you have a separate production company set up just for music videos, or is there some other way? The record company pays for all expenses up front, but half of it is reimbursable through my royalties, so in essence, I pay for half the cost of my videos.

There is a production company that deals with each video, and they are paid a separate fee which is part of the video budget. I even get to pay myself to direct, although half of my paycheck is in essence coming from my back pocket. How do you feel about your appearance in the recent issue of MAD? Kate Jones of Acton, MA asks: What should I do?

Well, obviously, you were adopted. The album release version was done in the studio and features the whole band. Do you collect things from each city you travel on, like shot glasses? Mitch Rabb of Pevely, MO asks: Marianne Rose of Erie, PA asks: Okay Al, I just gotta know!

I threw the basketball up into a net which was just out of frame, and a crew guy hanging from the rafters dropped another basketball straight down into the hoop. What was it like being on the Mancow show? Are you a fan of the show? The show is syndicated across about half the country and a lot of people heard you. My record company was concerned about my being on the show because apparently he has a history of ripping people apart on the air — but Mancow was great to me.

Kim of Houston, TX asks: John Hall of Derry, NH asks: Thanx, love your show! Gray of Staunton, Virginia asks: Gavin of Sydney, Australia asks: It sounded so much like the real thing that I was actually wincing! I wanted to make the Ultimate Dentist Song, so I decided to do it as authentically as possible. I got my real dentist Dr.

Schuster to come into the recording studio. He brought his actual dental drill with him as well as a real human tooth — and then he proceeded to wail away on it while the tape rolled. I even took a turn with the drill and the tooth myself. It was pretty sick. Polka Man of who knows where asks: Did you get to write a lot of it, or were there other people who wrote it? Melissa of Northampton, MA asks: So when does Mary Kay Bergman sing in it?

Originally I had Mary Kay come in to sing the whole song. Peter Mullins of Sydney, Australia asks: Lord Spank of Omaha, NE asks: David Jeffreys of Royal Oak, Michigan asks: Were the people in your Disney special your real parents? MaraJayde of Michigan asks: Harold Waide of Dansville, NY asks: Hide in your house and watch all the fun on TV? Jack Ayer of Newnan Georgia asks: California submitted a question. He was really nice, and said he was a fan.

Is it computer generated or filmed on location at some desert? That scene was really shot in the desert. I still thought it was preferable to having a pan of the desert that was just way too slow. Alicia Slater of Ionia MI asks: Let me explain for the non-Australians: I know these are the same songs, but what is the difference between the 2?

We let MuchMusic put their name on the album as part of a promotional deal we had with them at the time. Jessie Niessink of Redding, California asks: Who acted out the guy that was reading the magazine and clipping his toenails? And there will most likely be a few other subtle little changes here and there, but for the most part, it will be the same show. Dylan Roche of Severna Park, Maryland asks: Luke Owen of Woking, Surrey, England asks: Maroon Moron of Boise Idaho asks: Are you a big fan like myself, or did you come to know the band in some other way?

We started talking about how I wanted to branch out into directing videos for other artists, and then Russell mentioned that Jon Spencer was looking for a director for their next video… and things just kind of progressed from there.

I had been familiar with some of their music, but after working with them and seeing them play live, I became a real fan. Are those my only two choices? I even met him once very briefly in — he came backstage after one of Dr. Veronica of Los Angeles, CA asks: And the musical intro is there mainly to help me sing the beginning of the song in the right key and at the right tempo. At one point we were considering doing a video for that song, and we inquired if Jerry would be in it.

We sent him a rough mix of the song while we were still in the studio finishing up the album. Julie Shilling of Verona, NJ asks: Do you just ask someone else? It was a matter of practicality and budget. They really made it sound like after that you were ready to dive headlong into a stump grinder. So exactly how big of an exaggeration is this?

I know that box-office-wise it was limping, but I also know that show loves dirt…. Physical Education, no doubt. Or, is everything so well rehearsed that you can keep a straight face?

I just try not to look at him anymore. They met while they were both working at a place called Firestone Tire and Rubber. Alfred introduced them, and luckily for me, they hit it off. Gayle of NY, NY asks: Do you ever have sign language interpreters at your shows? However, the fairs provide the interpreters, not us. Amy of Modesto, CA asks: A lot of my originals are intentionally derivative of other groups although not enough to infringe on their copyright!

How in the world did you pull that off when you dressed up like that for your concert? So, why do you wear glasses with the Fat costume at your concerts? The glasses help to hold up the Fat mask, so I need to keep wearing them for that song. The lenses were changed to clear plastic. The live video Rocks!!!! Will you ever make a live album? Lisa Shock of Sunny Phoenix, Arizona asks: How did your family react to your decision to become a vegetarian?

She always makes a nice vegetarian meal for me when I come to visit. Miguel Cruz of Saginaw, TX asks: Vicki of Phoenix, Arizona asks: Tim Burrow of Oskaloosa, Iowa asks: Christine Kossol of Monessen, PA asks: What was it like working with them? I liked the Monkees very much — it was a fun tour. There was even a separate tour bus for each Monkee!

Katie Morgan of Columbia, MO asks: Kevin of Indy asks: Hey, I finally rented Spy Hard and I loved it. Your theme song is awesome. I noticed that the lyrics in the ending credits are a little modified to fit the end of the movie.

I also know that the song is on the Gump single, but is there a way for me to acquire the track with the ending credits somehow? I just thought Hawaiian silk boxers would be a nice change of pace. Plus, they feel better and take up less room in my pants.

Armando of San Juan, PR asks: Did you throw a party for your birthday and if you did, who attended it??? And where was it? It was on stage in Ottawa, Ontario, and thousands of people showed up!

Neil Harrington of Ottawa Ont Canada asks: It appeared that at least the crew knew about it, but did you? Then when they presented me with the birthday cake from stage left , I thought that was it… not knowing that my tour manager was sneaking in from stage right with the deadly cream pie.

Gina in Greenbelt, MD, asks: What is it you are saying? Those are the reflection of Kino lights, which are used for lighting close-ups in quite a number of rap videos.

I should have pointed it out on the show, I guess, but I was just assuming that most people know that Harvey IS a professionally-trained stunt hamster. I always though it was Jay but my friend hears Jake.

Fred Durst of L. We did that in a much different key from the original song, because Michael Jackson and I have very different vocal ranges. Diva of North Hollywood, CA asks: The educational films on AL-TV and in your concert are screamingly funny. How much footage is shot new and how much is culled from old educational films [the real kind? Is this because it was inspired by a real-life person, or were you just in a good mood that day? Deborah Fabec of Atlanta, GA asks: Have you ever thought of recording an album under a different name the way that Garth Brooks did with his Chris Gaines album?

It started out as a joke, but people have just been eating it up! Gina Asprocolas of Edison, NJ asks: I know that you have to get permission when you want to write parodies of songs but, did you have to get permission from the artists Cher, Steven Tyler… for those crazy interviews?? MTV had to get permission from the artists. Nathan Pitcher of Beverly, MA asks: The song would be wicked funny if you did!

It would have been funny — but the video would also have been twice as expensive, and I would have gotten half as much airplay. So I guess I opted for practicality. By the way, for the record, the original song had six verses, and mine had four. The voice sounds way too authentic! Originally in the Saturday morning show , it was Bob Scott, but he is now retired and living in Miami. The Artful Dodger of Ft. Reina Samuels of Washington D.

Okay, now I was just listening to your new CD last night, like I do every night, and I noticed something at the end of Albuquerque. Who is that laughing in the last few seconds and was it left on the CD on purpose or was it a mistake?

Drew asked if I wanted to join in on the fun the last time I attended a taping of the show, and I declined. Michael Jackson, a Jedi Knight, and a few other things…. Have you ever been to Australia? Since Running With Scissors seems to be doing so well there a top 20 album the last time I checked! What were they made out of? Kathy of The tent in the middle of nowhere, NJ asks: Sara of Colorful Colorado asks: The folks at Volcano are apparently having some quality control problems with these re-issues, and I apologize.

That accordion belonged to my Aunt Dot I guess she played a little , and they took the picture because they thought it would be an ominous foreshadowing of my future career. Carrie of Moncton, New Brunswick asks: Why was the concert in Moncton cancelled? Jay and I are big fans, and Jay especially has been waiting to see his hero since he was at least Michael Lavoie of Meriden, CT asks: Al, when are you finally going to settle down and hear the pitter, patter of little feet around the house?

Al, I was wondering, what was the strangest date you played at and why? They had a promotion where the winner got to have me come to their place of business and do a live show. As it turns out, the winner worked in a rest home. How do you and the band, as warm-climate natives, manage to survive and stay warm when touring the northern U. Tim Burrow of Osklaoosa Iowa asks: Ron has obviously carried on the family tradition. Nadrojjio of Orangeville, Ontario asks: We performed it when we did a show in Albuquerque we pretty much had to , but then my voice was trashed for a week afterwards.

Carrie of Bellingham, WA asks: They are so funny, sweet and genuine. My question is, are there any plans to have them in any forthcoming videos or interviews? Andrew of Rockaway, NJ asks: Erin English of the boonies, ON Canada asks: Which is a drag.

Please tell us what it is and put our tortured minds to rest. Lynette of Mesa, AZ asks: When will the general public be given the opportunity to have the immense pleasure of viewing this inevitable cinematic masterpiece? How can I remedy this problem? I was at your concert at your alma mater Cal Poly. I was sitting in the dress circle left and had my feet up.

Demento Basement tapes collection. Mary of The tent in the middle of nowhere, New Jersey asks: Do you or Bermuda still have an unedited version of UHF?

I have a long, horrible, first-cut of the movie — no music, no sound effects. Two gags in your videos struck me as pure Keaton: I just saw your concert at the Greek Theatre and I wanted to know if you still get nervous onstage. I usually get just a tiny bit nervous, but before the Greek I was extremely nervous because of all the people that I knew in the audience: Demento and my hero Stan Freberg.

I was glad to get through that show without my brain exploding. Amy Smith of CA asks: I heard you had your vision corrected with laser surgery. It was done by Dr. Cody of MA asks: Have you ever considered taping your tour live and selling it as a album or as a video?

Sean Sydney of Toronto asks: Do you study your song parodies? For example, for Jerry Springer, did you watch it for a couple of weeks or something? And after watching a couple shows, I pretty much figured out the basic formula. Art Beckerman of Lancaster, CA asks: Who was the resource for the lyrics for Pretty Fly for a Rabbi? As a synagogue board member, I was amazed at how accurate those lyrics are.

And, I used that song as a discussion topic at a recent synagogue board meeting! A good percentage of my friends are Jewish, and most of those Yiddish words are fairly common usage — in the entertainment industry, anyway. Also, I bought several English-Yiddish dictionaries for reference. My mom and I watched the VH-1 special the other night and we both noticed something very interesting.

There are a couple of clips of you twirling around in what looks like a dress when you were a boy. Where does this fetish for dresses stem from? I would understand if you had sisters but you are an only child. Because I am a car freak as well, do you actually own one, and if no, what cars do you own?

My current car is a Z3. LuvnAl of PA asks: Matt of Westmont IL asks: It said it was in the movie UHF. Give me a break. Matthew Walker of Highland, CA asks: How come your parodies are often played faster than the original songs?

I generally like to make my parodies a couple beats per minute faster than the original song, just for a little energy boost. Also, I find that the comedy usually plays better if the tempo is a little quicker.

Stevo of T-burg, NY asks: Chadly of Elgin, IL asks: I know you must be getting tired of What-was-it-like-working-with-so-and-so questions, but I noticed that you were recently working on a song with Tavis and Dan from Reel Big Fish. I mentioned that I was writing a ska song for my new album, and they gladly accepted my invitation to lay down some tracks in the studio.

Jedi Josh of Chicago, Illinois asks: I can certainly feel empathy for how George wanted to re-do his earlier works. Fudge of Huntsville, AL asks: Burger King, Spam, Oscar Meyer , do you have to get their permission or anything? Legally, this is another gray area.

Jake-on of Seattle WA asks: Because most of the scenes in which they actually showed your face looked like they COULD have been shot in some dark room. Is he going senile? Did you really risk your life on that sway pole? That was not trick photography, I really was hanging off a sway pole 55 feet in the air without a safety net.

May Berenbaum of Urbana, IL asks: What was it like interacting with a giant alien mantis? I never actually spoke with Zorak.

Like they do with all their guests, they conducted an actual interview, then later chopped it all up and used a lot of the answers out of context. I guess I should know a little about that, huh? Happy Steve of Aurora, IL asks: William Sanchez of Greenville, SC, home of the redneck asks: William Kirk of Columbus, OH asks: Why did you cancel your concert in Columbus, OH at the last minute?

Queen Amidala of Washington D. Okay, Al, my man, I have suffered through many years of orthodontal pain to get my teeth as straight as they are today. Rachel of Holbrook, NY asks: Al — were you and Victoria Jackson ever more than just friends? Your recent concert was quite the spiritual experience for me. Is that something special you worked out with God, or is it a result of your new-found friendship with effects-master George Lucas?

Just a nice coincidence. The Monroe fair board actually tried to shut down our show early before the encores because they were concerned about the possibility of somebody getting hurt during the impending thunderstorm. It was truly an unexpected encore, and very gratifying for myself and the band. Patrick Durkin of Rowlett Tx asks: In my local paper it says that Al will be playing in Dallas Texas on Oct. Your local paper is toying with your emotions. Actually, some Texas dates had been discussed at one point, but nothing was confirmed — apparently your paper jumped the gun a bit.

Joe Weatherford of Lexington Ky asks: What a good sport he is, huh? Jim Lang of Columbus, Indiana asks: Vince of Washington State asks: I talked to Don on the phone before the tour started, and he seemed to like the parody very much.

Greg of Youngstown, OH asks: There were inscriptions on most if not all of my vinyl releases. So I figured that I might as well set the same goal for myself. Emily of Dayton, Ohio asks: What are the things you wear in your ears during concerts? What is their purpose? This tour, for the first time, all the band members except Steve have switched to wearing in-ear monitors.

This helps us to hear ourselves much better on stage, allowing us to sing more in tune and play more in time. It also keeps the stage volume down and eliminates the need for those bulky monitor wedges. Why do you think Eddie Vedder is pretty cool? I talked to him backstage for a few minutes, and he seemed like a decent, down-to-earth kinda guy. Actually, they play it frequently.

The edit sounded horrible. Tim Burrow of oskaloosa Iowa asks: The Doc of Monroe, LA asks: Oh yeah, and dude, you rule!!! I was just admiring the artwork on your debut album when I noticed something. All of the songs on the album have a drawing associated with them on the cover.

Am I the only one who has noticed this? Nate Lohman of Whitehall, Michigan asks: No, I was using magnetic earrings the top part is metal, and the backing is a magnet. I remember the video shoot ground to a halt because one of my earrings had flown off, and it took several minutes to find it.

It was in my pants. Spencer of Albuquerque, NM asks: Boy, you got me there. That is, in fact, my voice. However, I did have to sing it first thing in the morning when my voice is naturally much lower. Johnalan Norris of Rockbridge, IL asks: Al, during your concert at Six Flags in Eureka, MO you called your mom and had the audience wish her a happy anniversary. Did she know what was going on? Bobman of Palmdale, CA asks: How do you pick your concert songs — are they the same for any given show?

In other words, if I saw you in Lancaster and then see you at the Greek Theatre, will the show be different?

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