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A meaningful but "brief encounter"? It is the flip of a coin whether I'll leave for the west coast, which is really home for me, sometime in mid- to late-summer. I crave female companionship and a meaningful connection, yet I can't promise something that will continue more than a few months.
I'm a single white guy, 47, 6ft, height-weight proportionate, non-smoker, social drinker. I'm an intellectual type with an advanced degree, but also run and stay in shape, and love mountain climbing in the summer. I'm very open-minded and open to non-conventionality, though I probably have a conservative looking exterior. I'm curious about a wide range of topics and open to all kinds of new experiences.
Most people would describe me as kind and compassionate; I'm a vegan for what I sympathetic reasons. I enjoy independent films, Russian, African, and other literature, Ethiopoian, Thai, and Indian food, hiking and mountain climbing, table tennis, chess, mathematics.
I enjoy independent films, Thai, Indian, and Ethiopian food. Would like to find a female kindred spirit, who, for whatever her own reasons are, is open to a meaningful connection that might not last forever.
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Remember though that she IS married, and already has a man. For the rest of us, who are still out in the hunt for a decent man, we must not get to picky. I remember he had a big hairy mustache and very bad breathe and liked to pinch me alot for fun! Anyway, I do not let men do that to me that I am now grown up, tho Frank tries everytime I walk by to squeeze my arm, or pinch my tuchus! I hope the hive has a nice 3 day weekend.
Why should she be accommodating for that? Honestly — for a first date, this is all she really knows about the guy. When someone you trust does something that is very hurtful and unexpected, how do you learn to trust other people again in the same situation? It led to me becoming a lifelong single, which was ok with me, but not the healthiest choice for all people.
I had to try out a few to find one that was a good fit for me, but was so happy once I did. I was finally able to break patterns and stand up for myself. This is a hard question to answer in the abstract. Thanks for these replies. But this way of framing it is really resonating. At the same time, I can use therapy and reflection to review and reflect on my instincts and anything missed and is why I was caught totally surprised, which seems like useful work.
Therapy is a great way to deal with these issues. And then moving forward, keep an eye out for those red flags. After I broke up with Sheketovits, I made myself available and met Gonzalo. He woooed me and I was vulnerable. Though I never had s-x with him, he did get a lot closer to me then a lot of other men. But soon after I let him do stuff, I found him with another woman on Lexington Avenue, coming out of her apartement early in the morning when I was walking to work, and his hand was grabbeing her tuchus inside her jeans!
This is how I came to live on what my therapist calls my island. Boy A broke my trust. Does your brain not work? Can you understand why someone who was attacked by a dog would be afraid of dogs, or does that make no sense to you either?
That makes it a lot easier to trust the next one. I remind myself that my goal is not to keep my life and emotions at a perfectly even keel, but to live a rich and meaningful life — which will involve highs and lows. Elizabeth Gilbert wrote on Facebook a couple days ago: Ah I just finished Little Fires Everywhere too.
Yeah the ending was frustrating to me. Definitely well written and the plots held my interest. I really loved The Hate U Give. Also liked The Bridge Across the Ocean. Just finished Amanda Wakes Up. It was a cute easy read— all 3 are actually…. She also wrote How to Raise an Adult, about the dangers of over parenting. Very different books but she writes in a relatable way.
And I live in Kentucky and the heart of the book is so true even if I quibble with some of the details. My partner has been consistently down lately.
If this is physiological, I want him to go see a doctor about depression. He resents me for taking this personally and for having asked if our relationship is part of the problem.
Have you tried just asking him why he feels that way? Because it sounds to me like he is depressed. Not easy for you to fix, although you may see it long before he does.
And situational depression as a descriptor is sometimes used inappropriately. Not all people get depressed in the same situations. And while removing yourself from the situation may sometimes help, most of the time we cannot just do this and even if we can, we have to treat the reason we were so susceptible. Your feelings are completely natural and normal. It is normal to take it personally.
And it is normal to think…. The depression prevents it. You cannot fix this. You can let him know that you are worried about him, and it is starting to affect you and make you feel down although it sounds like he sees this as blackmail-y… which stinks , and think it is time to talk about it with someone who might be able to help. So maybe mine is less than your SO. Could it be situational, like maybe after a particularly bad day? Tell him you refuse to live like this and he can get therapy, go to relationship counseling, or move out.
I was in the hospital last month when the flu turned into pneumonia, and it was a crazy time. Through that entire time he never got mopey or weird. I get lots of squeezes and hugs, random cups of coffee brought to me, jokes and smiles—and trust me, that sh! Sometimes it takes something big health scare, financial scare to snap us out of our funks and navel gazing. I think most of these episodes are linked to boredom? It sounds like it gave him purpose there, and kind of snapped him out of it.
Happened with my husband too. But I clearly had it wrong. When a friend of ours went through a psychiatric crisis after his wife left him, DH sprung into action: You can e-file with it and get your refund in a week or two. Our tax situation is so simple two W-2s, no other income except a tiny bit of interest from our emergency fund, no itemized deductions that I could probably do them myself but I like the ease of TurboTax.
Do you have a basic tax situation — W2s, maybe a mortgage and some SLs? I have a pretty basic return and just did the basic version. I have always loved filling out forms. Now I get paid to do it! Has anyone had memory problems like this? Today, I completely and totally forgot about lunch with a friend until she called from the restaurant. Yesterday, my boss asked me to set up a time for us to meet with X and it had completely and totally slipped my mind until he asked about it today. A better organizational system to start.
As soon as I make plans or my boss asks me to do something, I put it in my calendar and set reminders that pop up on my computer and on my phone. I hate adding to the stereotype of pregnancy brain, but at least for me it really is true.
Getting brain fog from gluten, alcohol, or sugar is a pretty strong reaction; you might want to have your thyroid checked, make sure you are getting enough B vitamins, etc.
If so, by splitting your attention among multiple things and not fully attending to each makes these types of errors common, especially the older we are. Especially if they are not that important at the time they are told to us. Do you write these things down? You are more likely to remember something if you write it down, or say it out loud right after learning it.
It helps you remember the name, and it is flattering to them. Of course, drinking alcohol can certainly impair memory. Sometimes medications can do this, so take note if you recently changed your dose. Not enough sleep, sleep apnea, stress, B12 deficiency are you vegan or on some unusual diet? Neurological symptoms, including impaired cognitive function, are quite commonly caused by celiac disease and sometimes in patients who never had any digestive symptoms to complain of.
Only if you have celiacs disease. I suppose you could also avoid rice flour, but then you might end up eating way more of something else that has some negative health effects. Absolutely, if you have Celiac disease, the benefits of eliminating gluten far outweigh the risks. If you start restricting things, you generally eat other things in excess and there may be negative health effects from that. There is no good evidence or concerning for neurologic symptoms attributable to gluten sensitivity.
Lots of misinformation out there. Are you in medicine? Thanks for sharing the caution about rice. I would not have guessed that rice was so much less safe than wheat. I sympathize insofar as I think that if people pay attention to how they feel, they do a pretty good job gravitating towards the foods they need. I am not in medicine. I know the evidence for non-celiac neurological symptoms is not as settled as for celiac, and I personally wonder if it will turn out that there is more going on in patients whose symptoms respond to a restricted diet.
I also know that some researchers suspect these patients just have celiac that has been missed somehow. Doctors are already recommending this diet to non-celiac patients. I do have an autoimmune disease related to inflammation and I find that when I eat bread the stiffness and pain in my joints is worse.
I will very occasionally eat some imported pasta my understanding is that the wheat breeds are different in Europe but not often. Talk with your doctor. It was also during a really stressful time about to get married, moving, and other things. Some of the things folks checked for: And then a cognitive psychologist gave me a memory test. It was an attention problem.
The more I noticed not remember, the more stressed I would get, the more stressed, the more attention problems I was having. I got put on a dose of an ADD medicine for a bit. Things got way better. I look back now and think what a weird, weird thing. This is not helpful. The OP obviously does see it as a problem and it is affecting her life. And they are worth a try. Your response is incredibly insulting and unhelpful. That works for a lot of folks.
They happen to a lot of people, and yes…. They are things that happen to many most? From what the OP describes, I am not worried about her at all…..
You can make dietary changes to balance your estrogen and progesterone better if that is causing the problem. If you are Paleo or intermittent fasting, that can cause this…among a lot of other things.
As the comments indicate, your forgetfulness could be caused by a million things. For the calendaring, I put everything on my Google or Outlook calendars with default reminders sent 15 minutes before an event or meeting.
For the doctor, they may be able to do blood work to rule out some causes or confirm whether it could be Zoloft side effects, etc. Be sure to mention if you have a family history of any neurological conditions or if you notice the forgetfulness correlates with anything e.
My memory is complete crap. The only way to keep track of things is to write them down. I put any appointments that happen during the work week on my work calendar, including doctors appointments and meeting friends for lunch. I put my cell phone in my purse as soon as I wake up. Slowing down has helped. That brings me into the moment enough to help me remember that I did it. Being present in the moment helps a lot. I like the guided meditations on the Insight Timer app.
Sleep is food for your brain. See what you can to to help sleep hygiene, including looking at factors that can influence poor sleep quality, which can sometimes be medication.
Love that you have a smartphone routine, and smartphones can be a godsend for remembering hacks. Does anyone regularly wear brown boots or booties to work? If so, what sort of outfits and color scheme? Does it work only for the casual end of business casual? I have the Dr. I work in a very casual environment and wear them with jeans. I think the style of the bootie rather than the color will determine how casual they are. Brown chocolate brown with tweed pants or skirts, patterned skirts and dresses.
Around my company I see a lot of younger women 20ss wearing certain shades of brown boots with all black outfits. I also have mid-calf Fyre boots with a flat heel that I wear occasionally with black skinny jeans, leggings or dresses.
I live in TX and my style is very casual even in the office and skews toward Southwest turquoise, chambray and plaid shirts, etc. I wear brown boots mid brown, cognac, and tan most of the winter. They go great with navy, white, pale pinks, reds, any pattern with a warm tone, burgundy, yellows and golds, greens, etc. About the only colors that require careful handling are greys and blacks; it looks fine, if the tones blend, and there is more than one brown piece, like a brown belt and boots with a black dress.
How casual it looks is going to depend on the boots and the overall outfit. Is it possible to live somewhere with a reasonable commute to both Princeton and NYC? It seems crazy but wanted to see if anyone knew of a way. What do you want in a town? Do you want a large lot, a busy downtown area, etc? How long of a train commute to NYC?
How long is too long of a driving commute to Princeton? Are you trying to set yourself up for kids in the future so, are schools a concern? I think it works on a map but not so well IRL.
It might even make it worse, since there are a few NJ Transit express trains each morning, and a pricey but even faster Amtrak, that stop at Princeton and not those places. Are his hours reliable enough to be able to take the same express train every morning?
Also, the train is a lot faster than the car in NJ. Driving from New Brunswick to Princeton Junction takes twice as long as taking the train. Your best bet is probably to live right next to Princeton Junction. Either way, try to find a pied-a-terre friend with spare room, reliable AirBnb, etc in the other place, so that on an occasional late night the person working there can just stay over.
She has a driving commute, which makes her rage-y and her husband has a really easy train commute to NYC. I think your advice to live near Princeton Junction is spot-on. This seems extremely overwrought to me. Live in Jersey City if his commute is a priority and further out if you want a more equal split. One of you is going to have to pay in time. A friend lived in Hoboken for a while and commuted to Cranbury not quite as far as Princeton. New Brunswick is probably splitting the baby. NOT at all recently.
Just in my mind it is recently since I grew up in the area. I guess I should say: Any suggestions on a free online streaming news service? Is that even a thing? I googled around a bit, but it seems like the first few places I found required a cable tv login to be able to view ex. Does such a thing exist or am I just not looking in the right place or searching the right terms? I have multiple computer screens at work and would like to have one with news playing.
Almost like living in SF. Rapper linked to shooting investigation hours after court appearance Daniel Hernandez, known as 6ix9ine, was sentenced to probation Friday. Florida man Cesar Sayoc arrested in 'insidious' mail bomb spree: Officials Cesar Sayoc, 56, faces 48 years in prison for the charges, officials said. A look at the evidence that helped convict the killer Amy, Savvas and Philip Savopoulos and Veralicia Figueroa were killed in Preview ahead of World Series Game 3 Warmer weather conditions could make a difference in game play.
Matthew Shepard's ashes interred at National Cathedral In October , Matthew Shepard, 21, was abducted, beaten, tied to a fence and left to die in Wyoming for being openly gay. How mail bombing suspect was tracked down Cesar Sayoc, 56, of Florida, was arrested on Friday. Mail bombing suspect Cesar Sayoc in handcuffs. This day in history: Read the charges against the bomb suspect that could imprison him for up to 48 years Sayoc was charged with five federal crimes.
Nor'easter to bring rain, winds to East Coast: What you need to know about the timing Overnight the rain will continue to push north, pounding the I corridor. What we know about the mail bombs sent to former presidents and prominent Democrats Multiple packages were found over the course of five days.
Mail bombing suspect faces up to 48 years in prison: Man allegedly yelled racial slurs and flashed gun at voting site The suspect is facing charges of "ethnic intimidation" and "communicating threats," according to ABC affiliate WSOC.
Suspect who allegedly sent pipe bombs identified as Cesar Sayoc. Matthew Shepard's ashes interred at National Cathedral 20 years after brutal murder Matthew Shepard was abducted, beaten and killed 20 years ago for being gay. Authorities arrest bomb suspect The FBI has seized a white van that could be connected to the explosive packages sent around the country.
Nor'easter headed to East Coast: What to know about this type of storm Nor'easters usually develop between Georgia and New Jersey. The legacy of a gay college student 20 years after his brutal murder Matthew Shepard was abducted, beaten and killed 20 years ago because he was gay. Drivers dodge giant industrial spool The slow-rolling danger unfolded on one of Houston's busy highways. Video shows person of interest in Georgia model's death: Georgia race, Trump's phone.
What you need to know to start your day. The hunt for who mailed suspected bombs shifts to South Florida. Video shows person of interest in model's death: Police The woman was unconscious when paramedics pulled her from her car. Former city commissioner who shot alleged shoplifter hires George Zimmerman's lawyer Michael Dunn is a former city commissioner in Lakeland, Florida.
Timeline details student's relationship with killer Melvin Rowland ate dinner with another woman after shooting Lauren McCluskey. Wildfires ravage Northern California Aug New eruptions from Hawaii volcano create more lava destruction President Trump hosts French President Emmanuel Macron for first state visit. Anheuser-Busch delivering drinking water to Florida, Georgia Oct
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