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This character is a moral and benevolent person, at least when it comes to matters of romance and sexuality. A person who has a strong and reasonable ethical code , a strong and not misguided sense of empathy, or both. Because of this, regardless of this or in spite of this depending on the setting , the character believes that Sex Is Good and that it's wrong to impose limits to what sexuality should be like.

This is a character who is strongly opposed to abuse , predation , exploitation , entitlement and Double Standards , while at the same time also opposing judgmental and moralistic attitudes about such matters as promiscuity , Polyamory , Open Relationships , Friends with Benefits , homosexuality, BDSM and Maligned Mixed Marriage.

Since this standpoint is a personal one, the character does not have to be interested in politics or activism. The character is simply leading by example by directly or indirectly embracing a wide range of sexuality, either by practicing sexual varietism or by professing his or her belief in the free love doctrine and by caring about the emotions of everyone involved and it isn't necessary for the character to have an active sex life. If this character is in a setting when there was no protection, he or she might have STD Immunity being that good characters often have Plot Armor.

Also, when the adjective "liberated" is used to describe a female character , it usually means that she's sexually liberated. Note that embracing does not mean to make something mandatory, although it may be recommended.

An Ethical Slut is allowed to be celibate or monogamous if he or she so prefers. However, cheating on a partner is totally unacceptable.

Open relationships are okay, but deceit and dishonesty is not. The concept of Ethical Slut is a gender neutral one: The idea that only women can be sluts is a Double Standard , and the idea that being a slut would be a bad thing reeks of moralism as well as confused emotions.

The trope is named after the book "The Ethical Slut: As the other wiki summarizes it:. Remember that the Ethical part of this trope refers specifically to sexual and romantic relationships. An otherwise terrible person could qualify for this trope if they are honest and forthright in their sexual encounters , whereas a normally good person could still fail to qualify if their actions in their romantic relationships are deceptive or selfish.

Also see the "wife" aspect of the Three Faces of Eve. You need to login to do this. Get Known if you don't have an account. The term is reclaimed from its usual use as a pejorative and as a simple label for a promiscuous person. Instead, it is used to signify a person who is accepting of their enjoyment of sex and the pleasure of intimacy with others, and chooses to engage and accept these in an ethical and open way rather than as cheating.

Cross Marian of D. His hobby includes visiting Red-Light Districts. He has many lovers, and is called a womanizer by other characters. But he doesn't seem sleazy, hateful or negative toward women. His last lover was a hooker, but he says she was a good woman. He also had a relationship with said lover's mother-which said lover knew about as she's the one that tells Lenalee and the readers.

He flirts with Lenalee, commenting how beautiful she has become, and that he'd have come to save everyone sooner had he known she was there. Lenalee talks to him about his last lover, Anita , he then talks to Lenalee about what a good woman she was, knowing that she'd been killed. So, doesn't seem he dehumanizes prostitutes.

Lenalee is also used against him to make him stay at the HQ he hates, thinking that she's so cute , he can't refuse. His apprentice Allen seems to be respectful to women under his master's tutelage. When a female comrade is insulted, he comments "you shouldn't speak like that to a woman. So, Allen's knowledge of women and manners most-likely came from Cross, as prior to him, Allen was taken care of for 2 years by a half-crazy circus clown. Allen also looked under Cross' bed when he went back to mother's house.

He says it's filled with things from his lovers-pictures, accessories, and silverware. Cross is apparently sentimental. Shimoneta takes place in a dystopian Japan where things are peaceful and clean, but any and all forms of lewdness—anything from porn to saying certain banned words out loud—has been outlawed.

One of the main characters, Ayame Kajou, has dedicated her life to abolishing the censorship laws, and she loves making dirty jokes. At the same time, she seems to understand consent and is genuinely horrified when she learns that her friend's ignorance of how sex or consent works causes said friend to relentlessly sexually harass the main character, Tanukichi Okuma, without even understanding how wrong her behavior is.

Virgin Love is essentially a Boys' Love Story between two manwhores. Not only will he date five or six women at the same time, but he'll take all of them on the same date. Shinobu Handa of Shoujo Sect , as well as a couple of the girls in her sizable harem. Shinobu is forever pining for Momoko Naitou , but she will happily cavort with any willing female.

Contrast to Ohkami Sayuri, who forces herself on Shinobu in the manga, and extorts her by threatening Naitou with a scandal in the anime. When asked why she allowed herself to be put in that position, Shinobu replied that no matter the circumstances, she couldn't bring herself to hurt a girl. Queen Iono of Iono-Sama Fanatics is a polyamorous lesbian who cares passionately about each and every one of her thousands of concubines. And also runs her country well, though the giant harem causes some problems for the economy.

She had quite a few children due to that. It turns out to be a curse. She ends up happily married to a husband who works on surpressing the curse. Oddman 11 's Shiraishi is a cute cat girl that is considered a slut by everyone who knows her. She takes pride in this fact, and while she has indeed known several people in the biblical sense , it's explicitly pointed out that she is only a "slut" in that she does absolutely everything her current boyfriend wants in bed.

The Star Sapphires of the Green Lantern comics. They believe in love and the freedom to love in all its myriad forms, though this becomes hypocritical when it's shown that one of the Sapphires' weapons is a worldwide crystal prison and at least one of their Lanterns is a brainwashed former criminal. And originally the titular crystal would turn its bearers into rampaging Yandere , who would preserve their love for eternity if it was reciprocated by encasing the entire planet they were on in crystal.

Now that they channel their power through rings the Sapphires have calmed down considerably. Furthermore, the crystal prisons were also used to preserve one's love if they were in critical condition. Their extreme nature is justified by how the Emotional Spectrum works. The farther one is away from the center in this case, green, hence why Green Lanterns are associated with Willpower , the more influenced they are by the emotion. Being on the ends of the spectrum, they are not just influenced by their light, it overwhelms them completely.

The goddess Freya, in Valhalla. She is a completely shameless flirt and quite sexual, but she is ultimately more interested in love than sex. She finds the idea of a loveless marriage utterly abhorrent, and refuses to so much as wink at married men. Zap Gun for Hire who seem somewhere between confused and insulted by the idea that someone would actually choose not to have sex when given a willing partner.

Lou runs a very high-profile brothel, so in her case at least turning down sex isn't just a perceived slur on her desirability as a partner, it's an aspersion on her very business. And even then, Lou backs off when told that the man she's coming on to has pledged a monogamous relationship to his partner. Moonstone Books' version of the Domino Lady tends to fall under this trope. The character is quite unapologetic about her many on-panel and off-panel liaisons, but she draws the line at sleeping with men who are involved with someone else.

Pretty much all of the elves in ElfQuest. Moonshade and Strongbow are a rare exception in that they're monogamous, but that has more to do with their relationship being too intense and introverted for other elves to enjoy.

In one possibly noncanon instance, even Moonshade proves willing to give an admirer a good time: What Starfire was supposed to come off as in Red Hood and the Outlaws , although she had sex with only one person off panel in one issue.

While the general idea behind this was consistent with her previous characterization since the 80s, in which she was portrayed as an Innocent Fanservice Girl and All-Loving Hero , the handling of it was generally considered to be botched badly and eventually resulted in her removal from the team. Her own series goes back to having it as an extension of her generally loving and caring personality. Jennifer Walters aka She-Hulk is one of the nicest, most idealistic characters in the Marvel Universe, enjoys sleeping with others as long as it is consensual on both sides, and has one of the longest lists of partners of anyone in the MU.

Note that this is only in her She-Hulk form. While she retains all of her memories and same basic personality in both forms, some of her views and personality traits are different. Luke Cage , according to Carol Danvers at the start of the second arc. She says he likes sleeping with superwomen including protagonist Jessica Jones, onscreen, and Carol themselves; Carol also lists Jessica Drew , Tigra , and She-Hulk , to which Jessica responds that she thought he was a Nice Guy.

Carol insists that he is a good man and his sex life has nothing to do with it. For his part, Luke says when Jessica challenges him on it that if he was a lawyer, he'd probably mostly sleep with lawyers, and points out that she came on to him. Lucifer mentions the trope name in a conversation with Inanna in issue eight of wicdiv , though what they've just done is only debatably "ethical".

Only half of it perfected. You're a nice person Doing It Right This Time: Asuka actually wants to become this when she returns to the past. Shortly after meeting her teammates again she purchases "The Ethical Slut", familiarizing with the book's jargon and taking notes, and later she proposes Shinji and Rei having a three-ways relationship in lieu of repeating the Love Triangle and having all their hearts broken again.

After hooking up with Shinji Asuka becomes more uninhibited and she even reveals to him she is on bondage and she is a sub. At the same time, before meeting Shinji she was a virgin, and he is both the first man she has been with and the only one she will be with.

Kelly is pretty kinky and she has got a threesome with her boyfriend and another man, but she has lines she will not cross, such as cheating. In Undocumented Features , this is basically the Dantrovans' hat. All three are very moral, decent people though Darcy isn't above cheating at poker , all three get around considerably, and both Fandral and Darcy are noted to have considerable Hidden Depths. For instance, Darcy gives Harry a basic tutorial on Feminism off the top of her head, the same thing that Smart Girl Hermione did with Ron though Hermione's was considerably more Anvilicious , judging by Ron's reactions and Betsy and Fandral are commented to be 'made for each other', in that they share the same outlook on sex.

Betsy's Hidden Depths are revealed when she joins MI 13 and gives up her peaceful, easy life without requiring much encouragement and proving to be a very kind and considerate teacher to Harry and counsellor to Ginny.

She even gives her best friend the actual rules she goes by when asked. Commander Hurricane in A Brief History of Equestria Fanon has almost universally taken this attitude towards the characterization of Gaila , a character from the Star Trek movie.

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Maybe other people would criticize you for doing such of this but those who are open minded will praise you. You enlighten us the reality. Continue what youvr started.

I agree with most of your points, and agree that the book does not represent a healthy relationship. However, your first comment about girls dreaming of wedding dresses discredits your work. This comment does girls a great disservice. Also, as some have pointed out, not every healthy sexual relationship has to be within the confines of marriage.

Stop sharing articles about this movie. So many do-not-watch-it-articles work the other way round. I wish I could agree with those who give full support to this letter. I would hope that a doctor, a licensed psychiatrist no less, would know better than to make assumptions not based on scientific research. Since most of my thoughts have been posted by others already, I will just add: Grossman, to the critics here? Can you provide any justification for why being a healthy female implies you should dream of marriage?

Can you give any support for your claim that marriage is the best way to avoid STDs and sexual or domestic violence? This article is so full of biases and none of what you say is based on facts. This is your belief and yours only.

Please do not generalize to all women. It is not up to YOU as to what girls can and cannot dream of to be considered healthy.

Free and consenting adults can do whatever they choose to do sexually. A normal plain Jane being swept away by some rich handsome man and they go to live happily ever after. It is psychiatrists like you that make people feel ashamed for feeling the way they do. You are not truly helping out people in the world. Fact is, psychologically healthy people can enjoy BDSM, contrary to your twisted belief. As a doctor, you have a duty of care and due diligence to your patients. First of all, you need to sincerely want to help somebody.

Mixing your personal beliefs into your analysis shows your lack of care into understanding your patients and truly helping out their problems. How many people will read this article and feel ashamed of themselves?

Instead of worrying about how 50 shades of grey is affecting young teenagers, please consider how YOU are affecting them instead. However, i have a question to ask, i am in a non-abusive relationship. My partner i am female, he is male is not keen on bondage sex. How can i resolve this? Have tried persuading him but to no avail.

I can admit i am insecure due to a number of failed relationships, while at the same time i enjoyed the book as it satiates me in a FANTASY sense. Its for us to weigh the possible outcome of certain actions seen in the movie, and it depends on what to follow either.. ThNks for these eye opening message.. I read the books and saw the movie. They are NOT about abuse. Dr Grossman and every other person who says the story is about abuse is wrong.

These naysayers are simply using Fifty Shades to gain their 15 minutes of fame. The book is about a guy who has chosen a particular sexual lifestyle.

The woman who participated in sexual acts with him do so of their own free will, including Ana. That is NOT abuse. Does he spank Ana? But she has a choice to say no. That is two adults consenting to perform certain acts that arouse them sexually. And if you actually read the books and see the movie you will see that when Ana reaches her limits and becomes confused she willingly walks away from the relationship at the end of the first book and movie and Christian lets her go.

He does NOT beat her because she is leaving. He does not abuse her. Let me set everyone straight……if you read all three books, which is a must if you want the entire story, you will see that this is a love story. While it is true that when Ana first meets Christian he prefers to have sex a certain way, when he meets Ana all this changes and in the end his love for Ana helps him overcome his confusion about love.

Although I am not on the same level as Christian, I have to admit that I do like to be bound sometimes during sex. It is very arousing. But why do you have to be so judgmental of those of us who do find pleasure in living out our sexual fantasies from time to time? I think everyone just needs to get off their high horses. It is a book, a movie, a fantasy. Oh good god, get a grip on life. These are actually quite soft compared to what is available in books of the same genre.

Before you start slandering a perfectly acceptable film do your research. Go find something more worthwhile. She can leave at any time. Well this form of sex actually happens.

Anastasia also changed for him and together they saw a world they never knew existed for them. I have mixed feelings about this Book, Movie, and even this post. I understand the underlying issues why someone would like to get into that kind of a relationship. As far as I feel as long as it is consensual between two Adults, and they both get pleasure and respect each others boundaries then do what works for you.

I personally had no interested in reading the books or even seeing the movie. I think he thought he was doing me a favor. The movie overall was really a soft porn, with very little story line. My take away from this movie is this. I want her first experience and her time with her sexuality to learn tenderness and caring. There are all different forms of a Dominant and a Submissive. In almost every relationship there is a Dom and a Sub weither we like to admit it or not.

As a Doctor in the field of counseling I totally agree with this letter. I see people on a daily basis that are disappointed because their lives are not like the ones in the movies. People compare their lives to soap operas and are disappointed that their own love lives are not as interesting as the one they see on tv. This leads to all kinds of disagreements within the relationship and many times it leads to affairs. People develop unrealistic expectations on themselves and others when they compare what they have with others.

It is very damaging to themselves and their relationships. Watching, or reading, things like 50 Shades of Gray only leads to more disappointment for these people. If grown mature men and women can be influenced by these things, how much more young, impressionable minds?

The movie is rated R which means teenagers can watch it, and anyone can read the books. Most of the people making negative comments about Dr. You would be shocked by what we hear and how much seemingling insignificant things can affect the psyche, adults and children both. Many of you made comments that healthy, well adjusted adults should be able to watch this movie and walk away understanding that it is just a movie.

Who are these healthy, well adjusted adults and what does that mean? Do you really think that every person that goes to see it is healthy and well adjusted? What about a potential rapist — did watching this movie just fuel their fire? Or the spouse contemplating an affair. Did watching the movie just give them what they needed to follow thru? How about those adults that as children played hours and hours of violent video games and still have those images in their minds.

Do they now act out as a result of watching this movie? All these questions could be answered yes! But is those the on people going watching it? This is a movie made in Hollywood. From Disney to everything else that is being filmed. Wow people are really in love with this fifty shades of grey or completely appalled by it. Any extreme reaction either for or against needs to be examined and held up to scrutiny if you want to think critically and analytically about it. What kinds of values and belief is it promoting or destroying about male and female relationships?

I take issue with several things in this article. First, why the emphasis on girls dreaming of wedding dresses? Marriage is simply an option. Second, the reality is that the majority of young girls reading this article are either sexually active or will be sexually active before ever getting married. Chances are most of your older readers have been sexually active outside of marriage.

Neither of those scenarios means the sexual relationship is inherently harmful. Many women, unfortunately, are in marriages where they are being sexually abused, mistreated, and exposed to STDs by cheating spouses. Marriage is not the solution to avoiding unhealthy relationships. Third, the implication that all forms of sexual experimentation is unhealthy, i. There is a huge difference from experimenting and abuse.

Painting it all with one wide brush is dangerous and close-minded. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sexual curiosity. Yes, there are MANY problems with 50 Shades of Grey, but my goodness, can we please stop pretending like women are supposed to be non-sexual beings waiting for their faithful prince charming, all in order to have mundane sex and never explore curiosity? All I am saying, is that maybe we should be teaching young girls to be strong, independent, comfortable in their own skin, brave, confident to voice their wants and needs, and honest about their desires, instead of telling them they should be dreaming about wedding dresses, and certainly instead of shaming them for exploring sexuality in the normal, healthy, and positive ways you seem to be discouraging.

However, no one really likes to be tortured as you mentioned, and possibly as you also highlighted that those pyschologically affected have certain issues with them to go down the route of sadism. Though the movie itself is dependent on individuals and the level of maturity they have in respect that it may or may not have such an influence. I have seen so many brilliantly talented fic writers who get no notice what-so-ever. Yet this crap does! I have shared your page on Facebook to all my friends — some who are writers themselves.

Seriously, where in the movie did you get this idea?? When I go to a movie, I am aware that I am observing a work of fiction. Watching Ana consent to a rough sexual encounter did not put me in any danger of doing the same—any more than watching Silence of the Lambs made me want to be a serial killer. To suggest that it might is rather silly. Ted Bundy started out reading Playboy magazine until that got boring.

A soft porn, like a gateway drug that opens the door to more dangerous fare. Thx so much for this article! My niece now 23 was the one that informed me about the abuse in this movie She is highly intelligent! She said it is about abuse and the girl i movie is cohersted into sex!

That in itself is rape! I have already told a few of my girlfriends Shame on publisher of books and the movie world! To state that someone that did not have a good start in life is incapable of change or having a successful relationship is unfair and wrong.

Pain is pain and whoever takes pleasure in doing or receiving in any form is definitely sick. Watching this movie and enjoying it means the person is sick. The writer is also a mum… What you say is right on the spot, I completely agree with it. As a mother of two teenagers of whom one has already asked me to watch the movie with her friends legal age in France: Not being marriage puts women at risk of sexual assault?

Being alive puts women at risk for sexual assault and marriage is no protection. Did I just wake up in ? I also think it has nothing to do whatsoever with BDSM as it presumes to have. And yet, you are being absolutely BDSMphobic.

A healthy women dreams of wedding gowns? Are you stuck in the 40s? Both my partner and I NOT husband had a wonderful childhood.

I enjoy being submissive. I think 50 shades is an abusive story but it has nothing to do with BDSM, I also think that what you are saying is even worst! You are labeling a sexual preference as a mental illness, just like homosexuality was labeled. You should be ashamed of yourself. I should do it before I build an opinion. I do not dream about a charming prince, wedding gowns or parties, nor romance in any way, but I have a healthy long term relationship based on love and respect.

If you like handcuffs is ok, the wrong thing is doing something against your will. I think this is a fantastic and much needed letter. It is discussed constantly by people around me. Children may not know everything the book and films are about, but they have certainly heard of them. My son is 16 and kids at school are talking about it, many of whom have seen it. I am quite sure many of the boys or girls he is at school with are not mature enough to handle a relationship as a dominant or a submissive.

Many young people are confused and immature about sex and, if they have society basically telling them that this type of relationship is not just ok, but something to aspire to and believe me much of the chat I have heard in relation to 50 Shades has been aspirational , then this letter is much needed and should be passed to as many people as possible to read. Yes, the words in parts are a bit antiquated, especially in relation to marriage, but the message is essential to many people.

An interesting letter and comments. As a sex therapist I read the book and saw the movie out if curiosity. An important point to remember about Anna is that at the end of the book she walks out having experienced the the potential brutality and rejects both it and Christian.

What is your definition of pain? Losing your virginity is painful. Sometimes a love bite can be a bit painful, but in the heat of passion it happens. For some people it is having sex in a different place aka the kitchen instead of the bedroom with the lights out.

You have heard of condoms I presume, you are not seriously suggesting that young people should have unprotected sex, are you? And why is everything based on a heterosexual relationship? What about men who want men? Women who want women? I do not speak english very well, but i was surprised his letter that in my opinion is directed to psychologically vulnerable and potential patients of any divan.

I share some of his views but I think that to deliver a truly objective opinion is necessary to read the book and bring into play the theoretical correlation encompassing. In your letter you also attempts to characterize the characters with a false, negative and false view that truth is stranger than fiction and the relationship they hold will be valued differently by different cultures.

What a load of hooey. I know a lots of people will hate on me because of what I am going to write.. But I am not agree with you. So you are a doctor. You literally titulated millions of people sick. This story is a fanfic. Or there are a lots of other example.

You -as a doctor- also kind of called those people sick who are living in the bdsm culture. You kind of said that fifty shades is about abuse. Anastasia is not forced to do anything. She wants to try those things just as much as Christian. She is never forced. She could say no whenever she wanted to but she never said it because she enjoyed it. And this book is also a love story. Personally I think that Ana is stronger than Christian, because she helped him to deal with his problems.

I do not love them or anything. But I think before saying really tough things about something without even reading or watching it, well I think that is not expectable. Sexual abuse is a horrible thing but I think Fifty Shades has nothing to do with that. A lot of women get in trouble with their partners because they are supposed to get married, or depressed because are not married when they are 30, and to talk about people taking your money!

People spend thousand of dollars in weddings all the time and no one seems to care. I agree with a lot of things that you said, but you left the idea that the only relation that its healthy its a marriage and that BDSM its wrong and that its just not true.

I have not read the book, but I have seen the movie. It is also a work of fiction and a terrible representation of those involved in the BDSM lifestyle.

I want to point out a few things about BDSM. First, it was previously listed in the DSM. It was removed in the most recent version. Just as homosexuality was once listed in the DSM, and has since been removed. I had trouble finding clear statistics on the number of homosexual people in the US, but based on what I found, there are more people involved in BDSM than their are homosexuals.

For a large amount of people who are involved in BDSM, it is an orientation, much like being gay. For me, this is absolutely the case. I have had fantasies revolving around control since I was about five years old, and pain became mixed into these fantasies around the time that I became sexual.

There are statistics found in the book SM the international bestselling book on BDSM about how the number of those engaged in BDSM who have been abused is comparable to the general population. I also wanted to point out that I, personally never fantasized about marriage, a wedding or a white dress as a child, or an adult.

Just because most people go one way in life, does not mean that everyone does or should. Second, I do not recall watching Pretty Woman and aspiring to be a high-priced hooker so I can meet a rich man who will fall in love with me.

There are many, many, many examples from music videos, song lyrics, tv shows, movies, etc of extreme behaviour and Fifty Shades the movie is not quite there. The movie is mostly a very washed out, hollow version on the book. Any woman in love or a man!!! The roles can be easily reversed , would want to find out what pleases their partner. She walked away after being unable to handle the pain, but she also endured the entire session without putting a stop to it something she could have easily done.

In the book, there is a clear sense that he is distraught while doing that to her and she is determined to go through the entire thing.

Parents and especially mothers are not dumb and I am certain they have already discussed this movie with their age-appropriate children. To all who showed so much concern on this phenomenal book and movie, heres what I would like to say:. I am raised as a Christian and I was taught by parents about right and wrong. And now as a young adult, I am capable think to make my own choices and definitely exercise my free will.

I do not care if the story is about love or not but what really makes it compelling for me is the strange or out of norm type of novel. This is perversion, and is being presented on-screen as the ultimate expression of Love and sexual pleasure. This is captivating women by the millions as a form of enlightenment, but in reality leads to the destruction of relationships, homes, and marriages. Women of America — help stop this madness NOW!

Before seeing 50 Shades of Grey the movie, I read the reviews and the outcries and thought people were blowing it way out of proportion. I went to the movies expecting to laugh my head off and maybe get a bit of eye candy in the process. It was fine at first; I went with some cousins and we were all giggling and rolling our eyes for a while. But it soon got deeper, and more intense, less funny, and more scary. People may think this an overreaction, but whatever you read into it, the scene where he first ties her up in the red room after getting her to kneel on the floor with such humiliation suddenly made my heart beat a hundred miles a minute.

We may have been forced to take that crap back in the caveman days when men were seen as superior but not anymore. We have brains, can think for ourselves and deserve the freedom to make our own decisions and actions.

This is a letter written by someone who has not read the trilogy. Firstly — Christian Grey may be damaged by his childhood, but the story is about how he meets someone and struggles to change through the love that grows in that relationship. Third — he wants her to sign a contract. But he never stops her walking away.

So…before you judge get your facts right. Try it out for yourself. You may just enjoy it. My daughter watches a whole variety of Disney films where the always slim, stunning girl gets whisked off by a dashing,handsome prince and always finds true love, gets married and lives happily ever after. Fifty Shades is just another story — this time for adults who enjoy reading and watching that kind of thing. Hi, I just can say that I do not follow the crowds.

What Hollywood or any other mass media broadcaster propose is out of my interest. I normally read what the average people do not read. What concern me the most is some of the opinions against the point of view of the docto. If my kids ask me to give my opinion about these movies or books, I will tell them to invest their money in something that brings them light and knowledge and help them to grown in all aspects.

I did not read Harry Potter, twilight or whatever most sold books recommended by Opra are out. They do have Harry Potter books since my mother in law gave them to my kids. What I did is to make sure that these are appropriated for their age and that know the difference between mass media average books and what is necessary to read in order to develope a well balance healthy person. Last comment, even though that I read in English and in German as well as in my mother tongue, I apologize in advance if I made grammatical or sintax mistakes.

My mother tongue is Spanish. Dr thank you for sharing your thought on this. I am happy to chose what I read and to select what I watch.

Could he be the only and right guy for her? So, among many others, that violent and control-freak was the ONLY possible man she could be happy with? The BDSM community itself is furious with this 50 Shades fever because it makes them look like criminals.

I think it is a lot of media hype that could be dangerous to young people who might think it is normal to have relationships like this. There are many examples of stories, for children even, where real life would not be the same. Too many people just assume that if it is made for kids it is ok to show them.

Quit letting Hollywood teach your children and quit blaming Hollywood for corrupting them. It is your job, as a parent, to teach them about the reality of fantasy, and what role it should play in their life. These books are not about romance. The first one was created with marketing in mind. After being a huge success, the author went ahead and wrote two more sequel.

Then the movie was made. As a psychologist you should know wery well that love does not involve mental abuse or physical pain. As a psychologist you should know, that when alchohol is used as a tool for manipulation is not love, is destruction.

As a psychologist you should know, it is a sick relationship conducted by an abused character who enjoys only when he makes another person suffer.

Online media was used for this author to create an absolute groundswell around her books. Where you engaged perhaps? It will change you forever and I commend you doctor for your efforts to warn people. Dear Dr Miriam Whilst I never had any desire to read nor watch this degrading filth, nonetheless l was very disturbed about the lack of outcry and comment from professionals in your field.

Until I saw this post. Being a non professional, how grateful I was to read this riposte to this insidious psychological carnage to the emotional wellbeing of young girls. The fact that the author is female…well…if 50 shades of grey are fantasies, it literally speaks volumes. Another concern is what are the churches saying? Often people who are broken and destroyed by inappropriate and manipulative relationships resort to churches for healing. The point is why such silence from those who really know or claim to know the truth?

People, it is fiction! It is designed to get people thinking and talking. Not too long ago, people thought that choosing to have sex with a member of the same sex was a bad decision and destructive. Are people, full blown adults at that, so gullible these days that they are at risk of believing and reenacting everything they see on the screen in their personal lives that a psychiatrist or religious folks have to tell them what to read and watch or not?

What ever happened to making our own informed decisions as the adults we are supposed to be? Or are we still letting others like this psychiatrist hold our hands and still guide us through the ups and downs of life? Mind you, I may not even like the movie after watching it for much of the mentioned reason in this letter. But, that would be MY decision to make and not that of some expert. It is apparent that you disagree with the DSM-5? Since you apparently disagree, can you present a paper with the scientific basis of your disagreement?

All of science see them as two separate things that wile the potential for a connection on a case by case basis can be made overall they are two different and distinct things.

Upon what science do you base your connecting of these two things? I saw the fifty shades movie and frankly the dynamic between the two principle characters was confused and dysfunctional. She was seeking only a Vanilla sexual relationship based on common attraction and found the male characters desire for BDSM initially interesting but distasteful in practice. This caused HER to end the relationship and he reluctantly agreed. The male characters clumsy and inexperienced attempt at BDSM relationships and her lack of desire for such was the basis of the story.

At no time did she lose the empowerment to leave and in fact she did leave the relationship without any abusive repercussions or actions on his part. This relationship as described in the movie was simply two people with mismatched imperatives and a complete lack of experience in successful interpersonal relationships attempting an advanced dynamic.

I completely agree with Gregory, and I think you should at least understand the BDSM relationships and aspects before you even think of judging. Surely as a doctor, you should be avoiding making people think there is something wrong with them?! You should really think about how that affects anyone who may come across this and is already involved with BDSM, your biased view is utterly shocking and a complete disgrace.

I will add this. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the BDSM lifestyle. Then they read this column that says spanking is abusive and bad. They may then feel that their likes are bad. Is that the message you really want to convey??? Everyone has different likes and dislikes. Who is anyone to tell me or anyone else that our sexual likes are bad???

Fantasies were solicited from thousands of women all over the world. The book broke those fantasies down into categories, based on the most popular responses to the advertisement.

Not all fantasies were published, but those that were most representative of the responses. The categories of fantasies were somewhat surprising. I think that is part of the reason the 50 Shades books were so popular. Those books allowed them a glimpse no matter how misleading into a culture they do not normally experience. To tell women now that the equality they fought for is deviant defeats that entire fight.

I do also think it is dangerous to tell a nameless, faceless audience that their sexual proclivities are bad or wrong. But to tell someone their likes are bad or wrong can have wide-reaching detrimental effects on them.

That can be devastating to someone and can cause sexual oppression. They may start to wonder about other decisions in their life. Grossman or many others who are patting her on the back can do that. Live and let live. In short, I think it is reckless and irresponsible to present only one side of an argument. I would have more respect for Dr. Grossman if she had given a counterpoint. If you have done either of those, you will understand this is NOT about abuse.

Ana was never forced to sign the contract!! And, Christian sat down with her to make any changes on it that she was uncomfortable with. Bottom line, abuse is abuse. Ana was not abused because she agreed to everything and was free to go whenever she pleased. Learn your facts before you comment. In response to those who say that Dr.

If you have this particular propensity you most likely have a history of abuse. Just because modern technology has allowed those who practice BDSM to hook up with like minded people does not mean that it is either good or healthy.

These are people that want to normalize pedophilia and they justify their beliefs by pointing to others like themselves. Those who denigrate Dr. Grossman because of her religious beliefs which she never mentions in the article are using that as an excuse in an attempt to discredit her very sane and wise point of view. Anyone with two working brain cells knows that the movies are all about fantasy, not reality.

It is only very loosely based upon the BDSM lifestyle; more movies and books are incorporating this theme of late, and they all play fast and loose with the interpretation of what the lifestyle is about. Before you go making condemnatory judgments on others. You have homework to do.

I hope you hear and understand exactly what Kerry said, those are very true statements and you need to internalize them. The obvious intent of your letter was to attach the credibility conferred by your medical degree to your religious beliefs which taken by themselves are in stark opposition to the science of psychiatry.

This is not acceptable behavior for a licensed professional. My experiences in the BDSM community as an active participant over 35 years has proven to me that the common and religiously based perceptions of us are degrees removed from reality. In fact the most harmful forms of dominance and submission can actually be found in a church not in our dungeons. At no time do we truckle members into submission with an unseen but omnipresent threat of doom over which they have no control.

Invoking such would violate the consensual part of our creed; safe, sane, and consensual. At no time do we demand belief in an unknowable, un-provable or un-revealable being supposedly issuing the demands by which we conduct our affairs.

And finally we never act without first learning the safe way to conduct any activity we engage in. Most rope tops that specialize in suspension bondage study for years to learn how to do it well and safely while still meeting the needs of the submissive. Yes you heard me, us big bad dominants spend years learning skills designed to bring ecstasy to our submissive partners.

Also the community takes great pride in carefully vetting those who engage in the more risky aspects of play and makes sure those individuals are qualified. The submissives also look out for each other and a dominants reputation is quickly diminished to nothing if he or she does not maintain his or her skills.

Just because I refuse to submit to an unseen and imagined god that is a sociopolitical creation of man for control purposes over the masses, does not mean that all BDSM participants are atheists.

In fact many devout penitents of various religions, including Christianity, are found in BDSM clubs every night. A case can be made that believing in god is more clinically insane than anything I have seen in 35 years of dungeon attendance but for now lets just leave it at this:. You need to avoid counseling on BDSM related subjects until you have thoroughly investigated the subject including talking at length to a lot of submissive and dominant community members and visiting one of the many dungeons and private play parties available worldwide.

You cannot adequately understand us by peeking out of the church door at the world outside and then counseling others as if you know all that is to be known about our complex and wonderful lifestyle. The harm to the psyche of nascent people with BDSM imperatives that might read your letter and think themselves ill because of it is shameful.

Please retract your statements and replace them with more knowledgeable writings after informing yourself of our true nature!

To any people who were affected by Dr. Grossmans ill conceived letter take heart, it was just a personal opinion not a clinical diagnosis you read and it was not accurate. You are not ill for having such feelings but you need to be careful! There are many who would use your uncertainty to manipulate and control your self image. Only YOU can define yourself and if that self definition leads you to our dungeon door you will be safe and welcomed inside!

The movie was in fact a lie about the BDSM lifestyle and perpetuated incorrect stereotypes about us. Although it was not porn it was just an ill conceived and poorly executed movie. BDSM is not sick. He is an abuser. I agree in that part. This is only your close-minded opinion. Are they our only options in your mind?

What about abstinence, homosexuality or polygamy just to name a few? Talk about oppression of women! Dear Miriam, I was wondering why my comment is being held for moderation for some days now? I think we have an American Psychiatrist here behaving like an Indian politician. She should get a Nobel prize for this.

How could she advice people to not watch a movie and how could she be sure that kids are bound to get influenced by that? I would suggest her to not watch the movie herself though.

I agree with your main point, that it is an abusive and co-dependient realtionship. Everyone should take responsibility for their own decision. On the other side YOU must be extremely stupid, even dump to think that this is a real story, or in real live they are going to meet their Mr. This book, this story is a fiction. If someone cannot realize this I fill sorry for this person. Is someone think that she is going tomorrow to be a prostitute because one day a millionaire will fall in love with her and everything will change.

The ability to make difference between fiction and real life is your own responsibility. Thank you very much for this letters of yours. It will enlightens us and most especially to young audiences who are keening and itching to watch this movie…i hope they would read it when im going to post it in my facebook an twitter account..

While I appreciate your well-worded warnings about this movie, I am disappointed in what you failed to discuss. BDSM can be practiced in a normal healthy manner where two sane and sober individuals choose the form of roleplay and together make the rules as to what is acceptable and what is not.

This movie, as you accurately explained, does not portray a consensual relationship. At the very least, he needs counseling. At most, he deserves to be locked up in a jail cell! I would hope if you could see BDSM as a form of role play between two consenting adults who love each other and have together set boundaries of what is acceptable or not acceptable, you would not be so quick to judge the relationship. For many child abuse activists, the elephant in the room with respect to this movie and all the intensive discussion thereof is how inadequately protected minors are from the kind of treatment Ana receives as a consenting adult.

I think it could be more interesting If it could be a bit more scientific and less of your own personal opinion, because you write as a doctor, not as an ordinary woman. Miriam, 50 Shades of Grey is not a love handbook for young people, but a bad fiction movie. Fiction does not have a pedagogical purpose anymore at least, not necessarily , instead it is a space where collective fantasies, fears and memories can be explored and rehearsed.

Fiction is a GAME that makes possible the act of fantasizing about what cannot be done in real life. And we, young people, know that. You are really mixing very different concepts on your argument. I , an experienced member of the BDSM community completely disagree with your assessment of us overall and in particular our lovely submissives.

First your innuendo that BDSM participants are all either abusers or victims is completely baseless. In fact the typical submissive Male female or Trans is above average in IQ, self actualized, independent in daily life and quite resistant to actual abuse because of these traits. They come to the dungeon for very specific reasons and it has nothing to do with debasement or self loathing typical of people who gravitate to abusive relationships.

The Amygdala in the brain releases endorphins Neuro peptides that elevate pleasure and dull pain in response to heavy stimulus. Learn to control this response or better yet, amp it up, and sexual pleasure is greatly increased. Also the feeling of sinking into an endorphin laced euphoria is pleasurable even without conventional sex as a final component to the encounter.

Add to that the feeling of empowerment gained form trusting a partner completely and giving yourself over for a brief time to his or her command and you have a slice of heaven on earth for the average submissive.

The dominant gets a rush of pleasure too from seeing his partner in a state of bliss that cannot be had from typical sexual encounters which focus only on momentary pleasure. You would do well to consider this aspect of BDSM and revise your opinion, you might just find that euphoric state someday with a special partner if you do! I hear all the time about how bland boring and manipulative the average sex life is.

I feel sorry for those who let others define their sexuality rather than do it for themselves. Churches and agenda driven counselors commit heinous domination and abuse and get away with it all the time. The damage religion has done to normally healthy Gay, Trans, Lesbian, and kinky folk by marginalizing them and making them feel rejected is absolutely disgraceful. That is the real abuse and happily it is eroding quickly as an increasing majority of people discard bronze age principles based on a convoluted novel and address the reality of being human!

The reality is that your assessment of us is incorrect. The question is do you have the courage to find out that I am right? The same goes for Dr. Grossman, Your article was translated to my language Hungarian. Many thanks for it. I wonder your responsibility for all of us.

All I have to say is: If you are intelligent enough, you should be able to see everything from a different perspective. I hail from India from your perspective a radical and conservative society but my approach to life in wider and humanatarian approach to any aspect of my life issues either Sex, Romance.

I read this book and saw this movie too. I thank you from my bottom of my heart personally for exposing the real truth of a sick relationship from Psychologist point of new. An eye opener for youngsters who should undersand the real meaning of love or understand the Terms of endearnment. Grossman once again for expressing your factual views, for which our planet earth needs more noble souls like you to exist longer period than you deserve with abundance of happiness, prosperity and robust health till you ceased to exist.

This article is a disgrace to the science called medicine. One can expect such biased un-scientific review from a lay men but not from a doctor who we expect to be more broad and humanistic in thinking! God save the medical profession!

So what I think Dr. Grossman is saying is that the story, albeit a fictional one, says that the control-freak-stalker-rapist is OK as long as the guy is super rich. Much funnier and easier to read than the original.

Oh, and as far as being a pilot is concerned, to a pilot, Christian is no pilot. Somehow EL James got full access to the set and editing room, something completely unheard of. James was the one that insisted the awful dialog from the book be used in the movie. Conscience, maybe, but not the mental thought processes below the threshold of consciousness. First of all, I would like to point out that it is possible to be in a committed relationship without being married. Putting a ring on a finger does not automatically suggest that you will be faithful.

And secondly if you have read the trilogy, you may think differently. At first it is about dominant and submissive, but as the book unravels unravels, they develop an unconditional love for each other.

I can understand how someone can perceive it like described as above, but there is more than meets the eye. Have any of you actually read it?!? First of all a BDSM relationship is not bad. Do you even know what abuse is!? Also is the main character Anna did not love him she would have left but she happily married him! So please do your research about the book and what BDSM actually is. So… I found a few exaggerations 1.

Anna is not weak, she frequently stands up to him. It says it in the book. Anna singed a VERY detailed contract that she can change at any time. This book could never have ended with him in jail! If children are not comfortable with the topics A. They would probably just stop reading it B.

The responsible parents can talk to them and have a discussion 5. The point of this book was Christian learning to love and Anna teaching him about a traditional relationship So please look up the facts And yes this dose have heavy things but that dose not make it evil. Thanks for sharing Your thoughts. Remarque once said that every women even the strongest ones are seeking a strong man, not because they want their freedom to be restricted but because they want to be given a priviledge of being weak.

The most absurd thing is to write a prejudice, sexually repressive letter and sign it as a phychiatrist!!!

You should be a very poor therapist indeed to do what is contrary to all practice of phycology or phychiatric in western medicine. You even justified one of your points using a misquote of Neuroscience. I will not get into the rights or wrongs of a film based on a book that is fiction and came from a writer minds. You Sir wrote only about your personal bigoted opinion. I find much more hurtful to pass this absurd and dated idea that girls should think about weddings and princess dresses.

That they should think about sexual experiences only within the marriage. That should be your medical opinion. And if any girl is reading this what I would say is DO explore your sexually, and if you ever what to explore the BDSM do go to clubs dedicated to that and DO sign the contracts. They are made to protect you against any physical abuse. Thx Doc so much. At first I thought there was something wrong with me. I want to see the movie, just to see if they covered up any of the emotional abuse, manipulation, or coerced consent.

It ended just like they do in the real world. Scary to think what this series is doing to our culture. Or is it just a symptom? Fifty Shades of Abuse can be found on Amazon: I find it fascinating that there are absolutely no comments disagreeing with your opinion on this blog.

The submissive is the one with the power. Ana does tell Christian to stop. And I love it when my husband hits me with a belt, because he only starts when I ask him to, and he stops when I tell him to.

Wow, I find myself to be amazed at not just many of the comments posted regarding this movie and these books. As much as I disagree with both, a person does have the right to go see the movie at a theater or to even wait and rent the movie to watch at home. My complaint here is that our local library wants to show the movie as a night out for adults. Since when did local libraries become the go-to place for pornography, nudity and sexual perversion?

How did we come to this conclusion? Since when did just living together become the norm? Call it what you want. But the bottom line is, living together outside of marriage is biblically wrong but equally so, it shows an inability to make a lasting commitment, or at least a fear of considering one. Otherwise, why not go ahead and get married? Enjoying the pleasures of sex is one thing, but it appears that everyone seems to be talking about things they allow to be done to them because it enhances the feelings of erotica.

Or, the things that a one partner enjoys doing to another partner and the pleasure that he or she is getting from the experience. Sex is about more than a physical experience. Why seek out bells and whistles when the original act is both satisfying and contented? Seeking out more irregular forms of sexual satisfaction would feel base and demeaning. I sincerely hope you have read the replies above and seen that even in the population of people who read your blogs and presumably are of a mind to accept your counsel, the number of people who disagree in whole or in part with your writing seems to be far greater than those agreeing with you.

There is a reason for this and it needs to be belabored so you will be motivated to act on it and correct your thinking and therefore your ability to counsel on matters of human psycho-sexual behavior. You have conflated a personal religious belief with your degree and that is a huge mistake! The degree you hold was conferred by a professional body in the expectation of your relying on peer reviewed science to counsel and assist people as the governing body expects. Your behavior as written here constitutes a betrayal of that trust and I hope the governing body addresses this matter with you.

The damage you do to your patients and that which you attempted to do to impressionable young people with the writings in this blog is quite severe and could be irreparable under some circumstances.

The DSM 5 is a carefully constructed document which is at the core of the science upon which your degree is based. To blatantly disregard it and speak from your degreed position in direct contradiction of what the degree stands as an argument from authority but without substantial peer reviewed science supporting your argument, is for is grounds for serious action. I believe that you need to take this matter to heart and decide whether you wish to be a counselor or a minister and notify the professional regulators of your decision.

I can only hope that some young person with BDSM fantasies and the confusion of youthful sexual development has not read your drivel and been harmed by it. A retraction and apology to all those affected , especially your patients, is in order, as is a promise to immediately stop this unprofessional behavior made to your colleagues who were betrayed by your shameful disregard of the science of human psychology. I hope you have the wisdom to understand that I am correct in this assessment and also hope you have the courage to act accordingly!

Interesting piece and I learned a lot from it, so thank you. Instead, it is used to signify a person who is accepting of their enjoyment of sex and the pleasure of intimacy with others, and chooses to engage and accept these in an ethical and open way rather than as cheating.

Cross Marian of D. His hobby includes visiting Red-Light Districts. He has many lovers, and is called a womanizer by other characters. But he doesn't seem sleazy, hateful or negative toward women.

His last lover was a hooker, but he says she was a good woman. He also had a relationship with said lover's mother-which said lover knew about as she's the one that tells Lenalee and the readers. He flirts with Lenalee, commenting how beautiful she has become, and that he'd have come to save everyone sooner had he known she was there.

Lenalee talks to him about his last lover, Anita , he then talks to Lenalee about what a good woman she was, knowing that she'd been killed. So, doesn't seem he dehumanizes prostitutes. Lenalee is also used against him to make him stay at the HQ he hates, thinking that she's so cute , he can't refuse. His apprentice Allen seems to be respectful to women under his master's tutelage. When a female comrade is insulted, he comments "you shouldn't speak like that to a woman.

So, Allen's knowledge of women and manners most-likely came from Cross, as prior to him, Allen was taken care of for 2 years by a half-crazy circus clown. Allen also looked under Cross' bed when he went back to mother's house. He says it's filled with things from his lovers-pictures, accessories, and silverware. Cross is apparently sentimental. Shimoneta takes place in a dystopian Japan where things are peaceful and clean, but any and all forms of lewdness—anything from porn to saying certain banned words out loud—has been outlawed.

One of the main characters, Ayame Kajou, has dedicated her life to abolishing the censorship laws, and she loves making dirty jokes. At the same time, she seems to understand consent and is genuinely horrified when she learns that her friend's ignorance of how sex or consent works causes said friend to relentlessly sexually harass the main character, Tanukichi Okuma, without even understanding how wrong her behavior is.

Virgin Love is essentially a Boys' Love Story between two manwhores. Not only will he date five or six women at the same time, but he'll take all of them on the same date. Shinobu Handa of Shoujo Sect , as well as a couple of the girls in her sizable harem. Shinobu is forever pining for Momoko Naitou , but she will happily cavort with any willing female.

Contrast to Ohkami Sayuri, who forces herself on Shinobu in the manga, and extorts her by threatening Naitou with a scandal in the anime.

When asked why she allowed herself to be put in that position, Shinobu replied that no matter the circumstances, she couldn't bring herself to hurt a girl. Queen Iono of Iono-Sama Fanatics is a polyamorous lesbian who cares passionately about each and every one of her thousands of concubines. And also runs her country well, though the giant harem causes some problems for the economy. She had quite a few children due to that. It turns out to be a curse. She ends up happily married to a husband who works on surpressing the curse.

Oddman 11 's Shiraishi is a cute cat girl that is considered a slut by everyone who knows her. She takes pride in this fact, and while she has indeed known several people in the biblical sense , it's explicitly pointed out that she is only a "slut" in that she does absolutely everything her current boyfriend wants in bed.

The Star Sapphires of the Green Lantern comics. They believe in love and the freedom to love in all its myriad forms, though this becomes hypocritical when it's shown that one of the Sapphires' weapons is a worldwide crystal prison and at least one of their Lanterns is a brainwashed former criminal.

And originally the titular crystal would turn its bearers into rampaging Yandere , who would preserve their love for eternity if it was reciprocated by encasing the entire planet they were on in crystal. Now that they channel their power through rings the Sapphires have calmed down considerably.

Furthermore, the crystal prisons were also used to preserve one's love if they were in critical condition. Their extreme nature is justified by how the Emotional Spectrum works. The farther one is away from the center in this case, green, hence why Green Lanterns are associated with Willpower , the more influenced they are by the emotion.

Being on the ends of the spectrum, they are not just influenced by their light, it overwhelms them completely. The goddess Freya, in Valhalla. She is a completely shameless flirt and quite sexual, but she is ultimately more interested in love than sex.

She finds the idea of a loveless marriage utterly abhorrent, and refuses to so much as wink at married men. Zap Gun for Hire who seem somewhere between confused and insulted by the idea that someone would actually choose not to have sex when given a willing partner.

Lou runs a very high-profile brothel, so in her case at least turning down sex isn't just a perceived slur on her desirability as a partner, it's an aspersion on her very business. And even then, Lou backs off when told that the man she's coming on to has pledged a monogamous relationship to his partner. Moonstone Books' version of the Domino Lady tends to fall under this trope.

The character is quite unapologetic about her many on-panel and off-panel liaisons, but she draws the line at sleeping with men who are involved with someone else.

Pretty much all of the elves in ElfQuest. Moonshade and Strongbow are a rare exception in that they're monogamous, but that has more to do with their relationship being too intense and introverted for other elves to enjoy.

In one possibly noncanon instance, even Moonshade proves willing to give an admirer a good time: What Starfire was supposed to come off as in Red Hood and the Outlaws , although she had sex with only one person off panel in one issue. While the general idea behind this was consistent with her previous characterization since the 80s, in which she was portrayed as an Innocent Fanservice Girl and All-Loving Hero , the handling of it was generally considered to be botched badly and eventually resulted in her removal from the team.

Her own series goes back to having it as an extension of her generally loving and caring personality. Jennifer Walters aka She-Hulk is one of the nicest, most idealistic characters in the Marvel Universe, enjoys sleeping with others as long as it is consensual on both sides, and has one of the longest lists of partners of anyone in the MU. Note that this is only in her She-Hulk form.

While she retains all of her memories and same basic personality in both forms, some of her views and personality traits are different.

Luke Cage , according to Carol Danvers at the start of the second arc. She says he likes sleeping with superwomen including protagonist Jessica Jones, onscreen, and Carol themselves; Carol also lists Jessica Drew , Tigra , and She-Hulk , to which Jessica responds that she thought he was a Nice Guy.

Carol insists that he is a good man and his sex life has nothing to do with it. For his part, Luke says when Jessica challenges him on it that if he was a lawyer, he'd probably mostly sleep with lawyers, and points out that she came on to him. Lucifer mentions the trope name in a conversation with Inanna in issue eight of wicdiv , though what they've just done is only debatably "ethical". Only half of it perfected. You're a nice person Doing It Right This Time: Asuka actually wants to become this when she returns to the past.

Shortly after meeting her teammates again she purchases "The Ethical Slut", familiarizing with the book's jargon and taking notes, and later she proposes Shinji and Rei having a three-ways relationship in lieu of repeating the Love Triangle and having all their hearts broken again. After hooking up with Shinji Asuka becomes more uninhibited and she even reveals to him she is on bondage and she is a sub.

At the same time, before meeting Shinji she was a virgin, and he is both the first man she has been with and the only one she will be with. Kelly is pretty kinky and she has got a threesome with her boyfriend and another man, but she has lines she will not cross, such as cheating.

In Undocumented Features , this is basically the Dantrovans' hat. All three are very moral, decent people though Darcy isn't above cheating at poker , all three get around considerably, and both Fandral and Darcy are noted to have considerable Hidden Depths. For instance, Darcy gives Harry a basic tutorial on Feminism off the top of her head, the same thing that Smart Girl Hermione did with Ron though Hermione's was considerably more Anvilicious , judging by Ron's reactions and Betsy and Fandral are commented to be 'made for each other', in that they share the same outlook on sex.

Betsy's Hidden Depths are revealed when she joins MI 13 and gives up her peaceful, easy life without requiring much encouragement and proving to be a very kind and considerate teacher to Harry and counsellor to Ginny. She even gives her best friend the actual rules she goes by when asked.

Commander Hurricane in A Brief History of Equestria Fanon has almost universally taken this attitude towards the characterization of Gaila , a character from the Star Trek movie. Characterization of Kirk is split somewhere between this and portraying his rampant sexcapades which until Star Trek: Into Darkness were mostly an Informed Attribute , as in the first film we only actually see him hit on Uhura and get it on with Gaila as part of his self-destructive tendencies.

Diaries of a Madman: Navarone doesn't have many standards, particularly as the story goes on, but he refuses to get involved with married couples, and won't touch any mare in heat who hasn't previously expressed interest in a more sound frame of mind. The Prepared Rebellion has Lelouch. While calling him a "pervert" isn't exactly accurate, considering sex is at most a tertiary motivation for him, he's still a sexually liberated person.

However, he's initially reluctant to take Sayoko to bed, because he fears doing so might be taking advantage of her. It's only after he's absolutely sure she'll sleep with him of her own free will that he finally does so. Bait and Switch STO: The main protagonist, Captain Kanril Eleya, particularly during the stories taking place in her younger years. In her Origins Episode , From Bajor to the Black , she baldly states regarding losing her virginity in the back of an infantry fighting vehicle that "sex is a lot of fun", and later refers in passing to having a threesome with two Klingons.

Even in later-set stories she's not averse to casual sex, but when she's actually in a relationship she's monogamous with her partner Jerrod Dalton in From Bajor to the Black , Reshek Gaarra in most of the stories set on USS Bajor.

A Brighter Dark , while re-working the personalities of multiple characters throughout the original game, turned the main character Corrin into this, as well as being an overall combat obsessed loud-talker. By the start of the story, it's said that she's already slept with roughly half the guards in her fortress. Audiences are split on whether this was a cringy attempt at being Darker and Edgier , or a much better take on an originally dull protagonist.

However, a sidestory reveals that she's very moral about it, and is not above offering sex to a depressed challenger as motivation to win a badge in Blackthorn City.

Jerry's attitude towards sex, after having saved herself for Ted, only for their marriage to break up after he cheats on her. She likes sex, she wants some, and she's going to get a lot. So look for me in the future where the primroses grow and pack your man's pride with the rest. From now on, you're the only man in the world that my door is closed to.

I could flirt with all the guys, Smile at them and bat my eyes. Press against them when we dance, Make them think they stand a chance, Then refuse to see it through.

That's a thing I'd never do. No matter what the husband does, his wife never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard and makes the following suggestion: While the two of you are making love have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help your wife fantasize and should bring her to orgasm.

They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them while they make love. It doesn't help and his wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them. They go home and hire a strapping young man. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting, screaming orgasm.

The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly: THAT'S how you wave a towel. They are not referred to as "the horny elves" just because of the horns on their heads. Trope namer is the non-fiction The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities.

The 2nd edition was renamed to the more specific The Ethical Slut: In Dragon Bones , Ward is pleasantly surprised that the beautiful woman in the adventurer group, who sleeps with all the adult men in his group, doesn't cause any jealousy, and is a good companion.

Later subverted in that it turns out she's an enemy spy. Ward himself realized, after some experimenting, that he isn't into casual sex, but is tolerant about others having it, and he is rather fond of the man who is known to share the king's bed; either homophobia is not a thing in this setting, or he himself doesn't have it. The king's habit of getting it on with underage boys, on the other hand, is frowned upon. Anybody from Beta Colony. Known for it galaxy-wide.

In the first book the main antagonists are of the " Sex Is Evil The Avatar by Poul Anderson: She's also rather casual about sex with people she likes , and perfectly willing to call out others for having Double Standards.

This seems to be the hat of the Taykans or at least di'Taykans, who are Taykans in the phase of life at which they're mature but not yet fertile in the Confederation of Valor series. Couple that with their pheromones being arousing to just about any mammal and you get situations like Gunnery Sergeant Torin Kerr defusing pre-mission edginess nearly a Bar Brawl with a di'Taykan soldier by seducing him.

Subverted in her take on elves, who manage to turn it Up to Eleven so hard that it freaks out not just the rest of the Ethical Slut universe, but even the bloody Paladin Corps a bunch of Lawful Stupid fratboy bunnies on steroids. Although it might also have something to do with elves being grotesquely-dressed compulsively bisexual omnivores who spew Ethical Slut ideology to woo their targets. The Deltan, Efrosian, Argelian, Rianconi and Risian cultures are all examples though they differ in how they express it.

The trope is explored in some depth in the Star Trek: Xin Ra-Havreii is an Efrosian, a culture where respectful sexual contact between work colleagues or anyone you find attractive is perfectly acceptable, indeed celebrated. However, another character, Aili Lavena, complicates the trope. The aquatic form is an Ethical Slut culture, but those in the amphibian stage are supposed to dedicate themselves to family life and avoid such sexuality.

Lavena gave in to temptation and essentially tried to be an Ethical Slut too early, abandoning responsibility for her children. As such, she is now an Ethical Slut who is a non- Ethical Slut. Star Wars Legends has the Zeltrons. Pink-skinned, empathic humanoids who can manipulate their pheromones. Because of their empathy, they want everyone in range to be contented.

The culture also considers monogamy to be quaint, but archaic. So long as everyone involved has consented and is enjoying themselves, what's the problem? It may also say something about Star Wars , though, that there seem to be a lot of "deviant" Zeltrons who treat the pain of others like a drug. They also tend to be attracted to Force-Sensitive characters, like Luke. Daario Naharis has more principles that he actually sticks to than most characters on the show, and is definitely a slut.

Salladhor Saan Really Gets Around , but is very insistent about how much he enjoys women and doesn't hold well with the idea of rape. In Smallville , Oliver Queen.

Granted because he is a Batman Expy , just more To quote the wiki, " As of this episode, Oliver has slept with all the current female leads. Star Trek ought to be full of these, considering that the entire Federation is designed as a Free-Love Future and the frequently mentioned planet Risa is a Planet of Hats of this trope. Kirk fills this role in the original series. The Next Generation could be said to have two, although both are very toned down: In Deep Space Nine , Jadzia Dax has this attitude, although it's not a major part of the character like it was with Kirk.

February Asian Traditional Archery Grip on the Bow. From Soon See I read in a book called Arab Archery (which is a translation of a manuscript written in the 15th century) that Arabic bow has its center located at the point which is one finger width below the top of the grip. Wow! What a great way to expose the lies that Hollywood is trying to perpetuate. Parents need to get their heads out of the sand and begin to re- engage their young people in meaningful discussions about the TRUTH of human sexuality. Andy Star is a beautiful guy with an incredible body and a hungering sexual appetite. He brings a passionate energy to every encounter he has, and he's also an .