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Our live cam shows are now being done on My Free Cams! Please feel free to click the link below to get our schedule. Once you do just type in ValMidwest to find our page! All of her videos and picture sets are in Melissa's members area!! I will put the address below to mail your cash or money order to. So let me catch you up a little on my life and what I have been doing. We now have 3 strip clubs and I am doing all the training of the new girls. I also do all the recruitment for the clubs and manage them all so life is crazy.
I am not sure if I will be doing more magazines but I do have some new naughty content I will be putting in the members area soon. If you want more info on our clubs check out www.
We are so excited that our business is growing so quickly and we have so many amazing girls on our team. If you have not had a chance to visit our clubs yet you are really missing out they are the best in Nebraska by far. Here is a link to our club websites to check out WWW. Happy New Years and we hope to see all of you soon!!! The event will be held at Pinnacle Bank Arena this Saturday and our girls will be doing promotions all over the event and we will be the ring girls as well.
If you live anywhere near Lincoln this is a must event for you. Come get pictures and autographs with us. We will also be updating the sites with the pictures and video for this event for those of you too far to make it. Everyone please welcome Brandy to the website world! Brandy has been in some pictures with ValMidwest in the past but this is her very first update all to herself. Brandy also now manages our company, trains all our new girls and on and on.
She has the looks and the brains, oh and she is by far the naughtiest girl to ever work for our company. Get ready boys and girls because you are going to see lots more of her very soon.
Now you can see what happens in the dressing room at a strip club all night long. The things these girls do and say back there is absolutely wild So we just started a snap chat account for our new strip club and we would love if all of you added us!
I would advise you not to open these snaps while around a girlfriend or wife as she might get a little upset with you lol. The name to add is: Ok we need all of you to please please please sign this petition! This petition is to show we have lots of support for our new Midwest Girls strip clubs we are opening.
Who would have thought we could take the smallest club in Nebraska Elm Creek population and make it the most successful in the state. We have people coming from Colorado, Kansas and beyond! Check out a few of our girls at a recent photo shoot we took at the club. Make sure to check out our PARTY page as well if you are having any type of party we are the best in the Midwest period! Lastly when you sign up for my site you get access to ALL the sites in our network.
We will have free prizes and giveaways all weekend long. This is going to be one hell of a party and to think this is just one of 3 we are opening in Nebraska over the next year.
Ok so here are the pictures and video from my trip to Jamaica with Brandy B. We had an absolute blast and things got pretty wild down there lol. We got close to pictures for you so lots to look at in my members section. She has helped manage the adult company I work for the last few years and just recently she shot for Hustler Magazine and was on Playboy TV.
Last thing and this is BIG we are opening up our first strip club in less than 2 weeks I will update about it very soon, finally our own place to dance that we own and we make the rules at!!! So our company is back in the news again and this time because we are opening up some strip clubs here in Nebraska. Last weekend I ValMidwest had a bachelor party in Emerson Nebraska and the guys at the party went crazy.
They were very drunk and threaten to kill me, they tried to keep me against my will, slashed my tires, chased me to my car and shot guns off as I was leaving I can't prove they shot at me. I had to call and was stuck in the middle of nowhere scared to death, I literally thought I was going to die. After the sheriff's department showed up they just talked to the guys and then let them all go.
They did absolutely nothing to them and then today I find out the main Sheriff that was pretending to help us Sergeant Garrieth Cash Klienberg is friends with the main guy who tried to hurt me Andy Sebade they are even Facebook friends. The sheriff kept saying there were more of them and so it was just my word against there's so he could do nothing.
Did he think I slashed my own tires or made all this up? The guys who did this Andy Sebade and his friends even came back to where I was stranded and they threaten to kill me right in front of Sergeant Garrieth Cash Klienberg.
He of course did nothing to them because he is friends with him but if they think this is done they have another thing coming. My attorney has already started working on this and I plan to file complaints against the Sherriff among other things. I hope others step up to help me like people from the party, I know not all of you were ok with what was going on. Above you will see the picture of the guy Andy Sebade who set the party up and was the leader of everything that happen to me and he should be arrested.
I have included his cell phone number so if you want to call him and tell him what you think please do. Please also feel free to contact this idiot Sheriff Sergeant Garrieth Cash Klienberg as his info is above as well on the scan of his card. Just wait this is nothing I will fight this one for as long as it takes even years. If I have to follow the law then so do these people Click here to see the full story. You dont want to miss it!
Wow so I am officially a Music Video Vixen lol! Next up a shoot with Hustler Magazine, can my life get any better? Oh and I am adding the behind the scenes look at how the video was made in my members area so make sure to check that out as well. The Melissa Midwest network continues to grow and you get access to ALL my great sites when you sign up for just one. COM is finally done! It was a long three months of almost non stop work but I love it.
I can't describe to you what it was like seeing Valerie's face when I told her that her site was done. I think I love being the boss even more than being the actual model! When I'm finally too old to go out to the bars and flash my boobs at least I know I still have my spot in the adult world starting sites for new models. COM and check her out. Hey everyone, Melissa here!! Valerie just finished with a private DVD for a new member and so I decided to show you a little bit of it.
Of course I kept the really naughty stuff for Tony because he bought the custom video but you get the idea! If you want a custom video it's pretty easy you get to pick the clothes, the toys, what she says and what she does then we put it on your very own DVD and mail it out to you and only you. What could be more fun right! Take care everyone and I will see you soon! Her site also has her personal email address on it so feel free to email and get to know Valerie ahead of time.
I hope you enjoy looking at her as much as I love shooting her. Make sure to click on the video screen above to see a little video clip of Val, she is so sexy: I have taken over Jacky's site this week lol!
She will update again next week but I want to tell you more about these 2 new girls that I am adding to the network! Ok so I have decided to really work on adding new sites to the MelissaMidwest network and I have been pretty lucky so far!
This update has 2 new girls that I am considering each has 3 pics so I need all of you to email me and let me know what you think of them at melissamidwestgirls hotmail. Now neither of them have shot before so they will only get better but I think they are both HOT. I will be adding new girls every few weeks for you to check out so keep coming back, I need help picking them. I also am in the process of adding tons of new video to the members area so be on the lookout for that as well.
Another new thing on my site this week is I added my twitter account right on my site now all of you can follow me and this makes sure it's the real me not some fake idiot lol. I hope you like the new things on the site but I am not done yet, lots more coming every couple weeks. I miss all of you, Melissa. I'm all about fulfilling my members' fantasies! I am always trying to one up Melissa and her creative ways and I think I just may have done it. In you face Melissa lol just teasing I love you Melissa.
Melissa wanted me to let all of you know that she lowered the prices of most of her store items for a short time so get in there and find something to buy. COM her Virtual 3-D game not to mention a ton of hardcore bonus sites so yes we spoil you. I got pretty crazy at the club and the boys loved watching me shoot the pictures. They were watching me get naked at the bar and talking to me while I was doing it.
I asked them if they were going to arrest me and they laughed and said why would we do that. Sorry Melissa time to move from your boring town lol.
Charles Sheldon , a leader in the Social Gospel movement who first used the phrase What would Jesus do? Topeka was also the home to the church of Charles Fox Parham , whom many historians associate with the beginning of the modern Pentecostalism movement. Early settlers discovered that Kansas was not the "Great American Desert", but they also found that the very harsh climate—with tornadoes, blizzards, drought, hail, floods and grasshoppers—made for the high risk of a ruined crop.
Many early settlers were financially ruined, and especially in the early s, either protested through the Populist movement or went back east. In the 20th century, crop insurance, new conservation techniques, and large-scale federal aid have lowered the risk. Immigrants, especially Germans and their children, comprised the largest element of settlers after ; they were attracted by the good soil, low priced lands from the railroad companies, and if they were American citizens the chance to homestead acres 0.
The problem of blowing dust came not because farmers grew too much wheat, but because the rainfall was too little to grow enough wheat to keep the topsoil from blowing away. In the s techniques and technologies of soil conservation, most of which had been available but ignored before the Dust Bowl conditions began, were promoted by the Soil Conservation Service SCS of the US Department of Agriculture, so that, with cooperation from the weather, soil condition was much improved by On the Great Plains very few single men attempted to operate a farm or ranch; farmers clearly understood the need for a hard-working wife, and numerous children, to handle the many chores, including child-rearing, feeding and clothing the family, managing the housework, feeding the hired hands, and, especially after the s, handling the paperwork and financial details.
After a generation or so, women increasingly left the fields, thus redefining their roles within the family. New conveniences such as sewing and washing machines encouraged women to turn to domestic roles. The scientific housekeeping movement was promoted across the land by the media and government extension agents, as well as county fairs which featured achievements in home cookery and canning, advice columns for women in the farm papers, and home economics courses in the schools. Although the eastern image of farm life on the prairies emphasizes the isolation of the lonely farmer and farm life, in reality rural folk created a rich social life for themselves.
They often sponsored activities that combined work, food, and entertainment such as barn raisings , corn huskings, quilting bees,  Grange meeting, church activities, and school functions. The womenfolk organized shared meals and potluck events, as well as extended visits between families.
The company specialized in farm equipment, including self-propelled windrowers and the StakHand hay harvester. In , Hesston Company commissioned its first belt buckles,  which became popular on the rodeo circuit and with collectors. In , the American-based equipment manufacturer AGCO Corporation purchased Hesston Corporation and farm equipment is still manufactured in the city.
The Republicans sent out hundreds of thousands of copies of the editorial in support of William McKinley during the United States presidential election, While McKinley carried the small towns and cities of the state, Bryan swept the wheat farms and won the electoral vote, even as McKinley won the national vote.
Kansas was a center of the progressive movement , with enthusiastic support from the middle classes, editors such as William Allen White of the Emporia Gazette , and the prohibitionists of the WCTU and the Methodist Church.
While he expressed his views in terms of his small Kansas city, he tailored his rhetoric to the needs and values of all of urban America. The cynicism of the post-World War I world stilled his imaginary literature, but for the remainder of his life he continued to propagate his vision of small-town community.
He opposed chain stores and mail order firms as a threat to the business owner on Main Street. The Great Depression shook his faith in a cooperative, selfless, middle-class America. In , Kansas troops served on the U.
They were attached mostly to the 35th, the 42nd, the 89th, and the 92nd infantry divisions. The state's large German element had favored neutrality and were under close watch. Often they were forced to buy war bonds or not speak German in public. It was deemed by some as "the oil field that won World War I ". While urban areas prospered in the s, the farm economy had overexpanded when wheat prices were high during the war, and had to cut back sharply. Between and , there were several legal battles Kansas against the KKK , resulting in their collapse in the state.
The flag of Kansas was designed in It was officially adopted by the Kansas State Legislature in and modified in the word "Kansas" was added below the seal in gold block lettering. The Dust Bowl was a series of dust storms caused by a massive drought that began in and lasted until The effect of the drought was overshadowed by the plunging wheat prices and the financial crisis of the Great Depression. Many local banks were forced to close. Some farmers left the land but even larger numbers of unemployed men left the cities to return to their family's farm.
The state became an eager participant in such major New Deal relief programs as the Civil Works Administration , the Federal Emergency Relief Administration , the Civilian Conservation Corps , the Works Progress Administration , which put hundreds of thousands of Kansans—mostly men—to work at unskilled labor.
Most important of all were the New Deal farm programs, which raised prices of wheat and other crops and allowed economic recovery by The state's main contribution to the war effort, besides tens of thousands of servicemen and servicewomen, was the enormous increase in the output of grain production. Wichita, which had long shown an interest in aviation, became a major manufacturing center for the aircraft industry during the war, attracting tens of thousands of underemployed workers from the farms and small towns of the state.
It failed to attract many town or city women to do farm work, but it succeeded in training several hundred farm wives in machine handling, safety, proper clothing, time-saving methods, and nutrition. Kansas state law permitted segregated public schools, which operated in Topeka and other cities.
Board of Education unanimously declared that separate educational facilities are inherently unequal and, as such, violate the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution, which guarantees all citizens "equal protection of the laws. Board of Education of Topeka explicitly outlawed de jure racial segregation of public education facilities legal establishment of separate government-run schools for blacks and whites. The site consists of the Monroe Elementary School, one of the four segregated elementary schools for African American children in Topeka, Kansas and the adjacent grounds.
During the s and s, intercontinental ballistic missiles designed to carry a single nuclear warhead were stationed throughout Kansas facilities. They were stored to be launched from hardened underground silos. The Kansas facilities were deactivated in the early s.
The " Topeka tornado " started on the southwest side of town, moving northeast, hitting various landmarks including Washburn University. The Kansas Sports Hall of Fame chronicles the history of competitive athletics in the state.
Kansas sports history includes several significant firsts. The first college football game played in Kansas was the Kansas vs. Baker football game played in Baldwin City. In , the Kansas Jayhawks traveled to play the Missouri Tigers for what is considered the first homecoming game ever. The season saw the Southwestern head coach Harold Hunt gain national recognition for rejecting a touchdown in a game against Central Missouri.
Hunt informed the officials that his player had stepped out of bounds, nullifying long touchdown run. Not a single one of the referees had been in a position to see him do so, but they agreed to nullify the touchdown, and returned the ball to the point where Coach Hunt said Johnson had stepped out. A photo of the run later confirmed Coach Hunt's observation.
On October 2, , a plane crashed that was carrying about half of the football team for Wichita State on their way to play a game against Utah State University. Louis Browns the present-day Cardinals , by a score of 12—9. However, Topeka was unable to support the team, and it disbanded after one year. The first night game in the history of professional baseball was played in Independence on April 28, when the Muscogee Oklahoma Indians beat the Independence Producers 13 to 3 in a minor league game sanctioned by the Western League of the Western Baseball Association with 1, fans attending the game.
The permanent lighting system was first used for an exhibition game on April 17, between the Independence Producers and House of David semi-professional baseball team of Benton Harbor, Michigan with the Independence team winning with a score of 9 to 1 before a crowd of 1, spectators. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
This article is about the history of the U. For information on the state today, see Kansas. Kansas in the American Civil War. Battle of Baxter Springs. Battle of Marais des Cygnes. Cattle drives in the United States. Alcohol laws of Kansas. Historical outline of Kansas. Coronado Knight of Pueblos and Plains. U of NM Press, , pp.
Archived from the original on Herring, "The Chippewa and Munsee Indians: Sutherland, A Savage Conflict: Mohl, The New City: Bearman and Jennifer L. Douglas Hurt, et al. Skelton 16 November O'Brien, "Kansas At War: Topeka-Before and After Brown. Retrieved September 11, Big Red - vs. Archived from the original on 15 February Retrieved February 11, Retrieved 8 July A Baseball History, through Retrieved 25 May Bobo had to fire or fall back.
He entered the store, alone, stopped at the candy case. Carolyn was behind the counter; Bobo in front. He asked for two cents' worth of bubble gum. She handed it to him. He squeezed her hand and said: She jerked away and started for Juanita Milam. At the break between counters, Bobo jumped in front of her, perhaps caught her at the waist, and said: I been with white girls before. At this point, a cousin ran in, grabbed Bobo and began pulling him out of the store.
Carolyn now ran, not for Juanita, but out the front, and got the pistol from the Milam car. Outside, with Bobo being ushered off by his cousins, and with Carolyn getting the gun, Bobo executed the "wolf whistle" which gave the case its name:. The two women determined to keep the incident from their "Men-folks. Milam when he came to escort them home. By Thursday afternoon, Carolyn Bryant could see the story was getting around.
She spent Thursday night at the Milams, where at 4 a. Friday Roy got back from Texas. Since he had slept little for five nights, he went to bed at the Milams' while Carolyn returned to the store. During Friday afternoon, Roy reached the store, and shortly thereafter a Negro told him what "the talk" was, and told him that the "Chicago boy" was "visitin' Preacher.
Once Roy Bryant knew, in his environment, in the opinion of most white people around him, for him to have done nothing would have marked him for a coward and a fool. On Friday night, he couldn't do anything. He and Carolyn were alone, and he had no car. Saturday was collection day, their busy day in the store. Roy took him aside. He closed that store about Juanita was away, visiting her folks at Greenville.
He decided not to go to bed. He pumped the pickup -- a half-ton '55 Chevrolet -- full of gas and headed for Money. Short boots accentuate his height; khaki trousers; red sports shirt; sun helmet.
Dark-visaged; his lower lip curls when he chuckles; and though bald, his remaining hair is jet-black. He is slavery's plantation overseer. Today, he rents Negro-driven mechanical cotton pickers to plantation owners. Those who know him say that he can handle Negroes better than anybody in the country. Big Milam soldiered in the Patton manner. With a ninth-grade education, he was commissioned in battle by the 75th Division. He was an expert platoon leader, expert street fighter, expert in night patrol, expert with the "grease gun," with every device for close range killing.
A German bullet tore clear through his chest; his body bears "multiple shrapnel wounds. Two hours after Big Milam got the word -- the instant minute he could close the store -- he was looking for the Chicago Negro.
Big Milam reached Money a few minutes shy of 2 a. The Bryants were asleep; the store was dark but for the all-night light. He rapped at the back door, and when Roy came, he said: Let's make that trip now.
Roy dressed, brought a gun: Both men were and remained -- cold sober. Big Milam had drunk a beer at Minter City around 9; Roy had had nothing. Preacher's house stands 50 feet right of the gravel road, with cedar and persimmon trees in the yard. Big Milam drove the pickup in under the trees. He was bareheaded, carrying a five-cell flashlight in his left hand, the. Preacher led them to a back bedroom where four youths were sleeping in two beds. Bryant had told Preacher to turn on the lights; Preacher had said they were out of order.
So only the flashlight was used. The visit was not a complete surprise. Preacher testified that he had heard of the "trouble," that he "sho' had" talked to his nephew about it. Bobo himself had been afraid; he had wanted to go home the day after the incident. The Negro girl in the party urged that he leave. But Preacher's wife, Elizabeth Wright, had decided that the danger was being magnified; she had urged Bobo to "finish yo' visit. Bobo had been sleeping in his shorts. He pulled on a shirt and trousers, then reached for his socks.
They marched him into the yard, told him to get in the back of the pickup and lie down. They drove toward Money. Elizabeth Wright rushed to the home of a white neighbor, who got up, looked around, but decided he could do nothing. Then, she and Preacher drove to the home of her brother, Crosby Smith, at Sumner; and Crosby Smith, on Sunday morning, went to the sheriff's office at Greenwood.
The other young Negroes stayed at Preacher's house until daylight, when Wheeler Parker telephoned his mother in Chicago, who in turn notified Bobo's mother, Mamie Bradley, 33, S. Had there been any doubt as to the identity of the "Chicago boy who done the talking," Milam and Bryant would have stopped at the store for Carolyn to identify him.
But there had been no denial. So they didn't stop at the store. At Money, they crossed the Tallahatchie River and drove west. Their intention was to "just whip him Over close to Rosedale, the Big River bends around under a bluff. They use sex to get a guy and after the wedding ring goes on, they refuse it.. This is probably why the divorce rate is so high.
That wedding ring gives them some sort of underlying power which guys are helpless against.. I should have listened to my friends who told me not to marry. I am angry about it and can tell my feelings for are far from what they used to be.. There has never been any abuse, hatred or nastiness between us… I was happy until she began shutting me off.. I feel for you — the fact is that your wife is sinning against you by withholding herself from you.
My wife does the same — it hurts. Trapped in a sexless and loveless marriage…. My husband when he came home from three and a half years of submarine deployment 1st of June Came home expecting to have the same as every other person in the area, His seniority at work to count for something, a home life that included sex, holidays off, vacations that his accrued seniority could get him.
However when he came home with more accrued seniority than 60 percent of the workforce of , Under the UAW contract his seniority continued to build while on military leave.
This meant under the national contract, he could come back go from a shift he did not want to a shift and job he did want, he could make people with less seniority work holidays, and weekends he did not want to work. Take the vacation slots he wanted over lesser seniority. This was a problem that was bought to my attention six months before his navy discharge by his father.
He had friends that had less seniority than my husband, other friends had children and family that had less seniority than my husband. His father begged me to help keep my husband from coming home after he refused reenlistment, and disrupting the lives of others in the area just because he had more seniority, The only influence I could exert was through sex denial.
It was started over a young girl with six months seniority on days, She was a pretty blond 19 year old who if she was bumped to seconds because my husband wanted off seconds, that shift would have devastated any social life for this girl.
Within three days of my husbands return he slammed out of his fathers house going to the house we had just rented with a thin foam mat and his army blanket and his sleeping bag.
His mother was just about flattened on his way out. He would barely say two words a day to me the next two years then it was only ok roomie. Then he was planning with me to go on a vacation to Rome with me and the group. We were leaving for Rome the day before Memorial day , when his father came over after he left for work with a demand that my husband cancel his vacation slot. If my husband kept his vacation slot, she could not even request a LOA to go because she had been absent from work a total of 4 weeks the last year.
If my husband kept his slot she could not get it, so I went hat in hand and asked my husband to just stay and work through the Rome trip. I saw the fury in his face that I would even ask, I told him sometime after we came back we could do something on our own, then his demands came down, first I had to sign and swear on my bible that I would go any where, any place and any time he chose, that I would be the willing sex partner. I swore and signed the two copies he made before that trip.
He was insulting to the girl, her parents, and her fiance, telling them this was the last straw with him. That the next time theyt wanted something from him they could drop dead, We got out of the van and his father screamed at him to get our luggage into checking, He got out of the van. Shuffled to the back taking a page from Finnigans gold.
Started getting our papers in order, Then I heard the van start and he peels away leaving our luggage scatterd on the road with his mddle finger in the air as he left. I showed his mother the agreement I had made The whole group discussed the best vacation slot my husband could take. We arrived back at am on a Saturday two weeks latter. I had just cleared customs with a peace offering of a pair of new boot that at Nordstrom would have cost in excess of I said lets go to breakfast, show him the pictures of Rome and give him his peace offering, and we could discuss the reasons for the winter vacation.
He looked me square in the eye and told me I was not the one that decided his vacation slot ever again, he through me a belt and said start flogging he was not changing his mind he was planning to be almost in Kansas by 3 that after noon and heading for Yosemite, everyone knew he had used his seniority to set the scheadual back three weeks.
I was standing there crying why he was doing this it was just seven months. He said who would he want that time, could not go anywhere after I blew the budget on Christmas which he added he was planning to take off that year.
I had everyone looking on in a way that said I had better put my foot down. He held up what I had sworn to the two weeks prior and told me then I was not going to keep my word. He was tired of paying my way through life with nothing in return but some crummy peace offering and he was tired of doing without what he wanted for our social climbing snobbery. His father said jut shut his face and accept he was not to have the life he wanted.
The van skidded to a stop and his father was told to get out on the Interstate. He was taking his vacation now and expected me to live up to my word. I said no he was going to listen for once. The van pulled off at the next exit into the bus terminal. I saw his father head to the payphones. My husband pulled out a maniila Envelope and Signed two sheets and put on back in the envelope.
It contained the entire The letter to my mother said I was being returned in the same condition received. It was such an embarrassment. To tell my mother that we had not had a husband wife relationship since before our wedding was not the nicest thing I continued to hear from her.
She was even more angry than my husband. My husbands father went to the phones like I said and had a court order issued requiring my husband to work all hours offered.
The divorce was thrown out two years latter. The court order remained in force until There were some very dangerous situations until then that even bought the sheriff out to tell my husband either work or jail. That judge was put off the bench in and the order to work was canceled in Then all hell broke loose, he started taking his seniority rights first with a job bid, His father and others wanted the bid to go to a man that had 15 years less seniority.
My husband did not care in the least what everyone wanted, So again hat in hand I went to him and told him that I would normalize our sex life, stand with him on the next vacation to Ireland in and any vacation after if he just stayed on second shift on the job he was on.
He just looked at me and said I was a liar and tramp, and he wished me dead. The next morning four men came up on our porch to make my husband remove his bid, At his fathers instruction I bolted my husband out.
Through the door I told him the four men were there to ensure his cooperation. I heard his sailors rhetoric. To say the least it burned my ears off. Through the Window I saw the four jump him then I saw something like the tass turn four men into critical care patients all badly injured over a job.
His father and his friends decided after that to ensure my husbands cooperation with fire arms, shot guns and pistols. He took all the money I was going to take and told me I was not going since he was not so I had better get my money from the tickets back.
He actually ripped his fathers pockets open in the middle of the airport getting his passport back and TSA and the sheriff had to beg for just subsistence funds back for me. The Union Chaplin arrived to get my husband just to go into work and not turn me and his father into bloody spots on the wall. He developed MRSA in his spine after his Immune system collapsed because of his depression and exhaustion.
Three years later he came home, discovered my affair! He was not in a wheel chair as expected but I was seeing a man that felt humiliate my husband was needed he swept his cane putting my husband on the floor That cane thrown like a spear fractured the other mans scull, I was trying to keep my husband from doing even more damage and ended up slapped into a corner.
He was cuffed and put in a stress center, The next two weeks all I did was cry, until his father said go to a fund raising dinner with him, my mother in law and his fathers best friend when my husband walked through the door with a bone in his teeth. He ripped my dress off and raped me, Telling everything he had supplied in my life and asked one question what had I returned, no meals fixed, no sex, he cleaned the house and did the yard, while I dealt with my society friends.
I was begging and pleading at that point even handing him We could lay out his grievences of the last three decades , I meant to say find solutions but I said figure out what he was allowed. I found out he was not going to let any one but himself decide what he was allowed when he raped me. Everything the last three years has been retreat, a little boy from the rape. Christmas I just wanted guest not to feel fear at my husbands presence. Since he refused to go any where I gave him the first Christmas dinner at home in 33 years.
I filled his plate and handed him his silverware, I told him to go out and eat in the barn out of the wind. All in all its turned into a terror the last sixteen years because I could not figure a way to get all needs seen to that was acceptable to all. About 5 years ago, we stopped all sexual activity. Brief kiss good bye, holding hands in public are still OK.
This situation had elicited an internal dilemma for me. The result is I often find fault with my wife in very mundane activity but mainly conversations.
About 10 years ago, I did fall in love with another woman. This woman loved me but we did not attempt physical intimacy as that is a bar our morals would not allow. How I wish our morals would have prevented our love from ever developing. I moved out of our house in an attempt to determine which woman I truly loved and wanted to spend my remaining years with. At that point, my wife threw herself at me with all the love she could.
I melted and fell in love with my wife again. All was well for next 5 years then the physical intimacy stopped. I believe she feels badly about the situation but cannot bring her self to have sexual activity. I can accept the fact that she does not feel the need. I have asked her to consult a MD and start hormone treatment that will reawaken her sexual needs and desires. I will not leave her even though she has plenty of money in an IRA, she would not want for material needs. The reason I will not leave her is because I allowed myself to fall in love with another woman and did nothing to stop myself or prevent that from happening.
My belief is I should have divorced first then allowed any new love to develop it it would. Because I failed to follow what my brain told me was the correct behavior, I now have come to believe that I owe my wife.
She needs to believe she will never be left by me as I scared her in the past. My guess is my current behavior of finding fault with her is an attempt to have here reject me via divorce. The truth is I do not know what it is. If my desire for sexual activity would drop to her level or her level of sexual desire would rise to my level then perhaps we would both be happier.
Unfortunately, sexual desire is not controlled by thoughts or wishes. I have no idea what the future will be for us. I am the wife, who adores sex, but, has pulled away sexually from her husband. I wish I was strong enough to leave. I pay my mortgage off next week. Because if we do divorce, he gets half, no matter if he sits in bed watching videos for weeks. He cheated on me before we were married and gave me the gift that keeps on giving.
And to have a man who worked hard every day, who provided for me and my children; well, I can no longer have that, but, my daughter can. I am so affectionate towards her. Like why am I wasting my time. My wife refuses sex wirh me. We had only 3 times of sex for last 6 yrs.
As I have a 6yr old son I cannot leave the family. Also I love my wife so much. She is not romantic now. She used to be a very atractive sex partner early 2 years of our marriage. I am really disappointed. The idea that you must stay in a marriage because you have children is not necessarily true.
Think about what you are modeling to your son; he sees a marriage without any romance. How do you want him to be in his marriage? Children model after their parents, and he is not seeing a healthy relationship right now. Let her know this cannot continue indefinitely. Also, ask yourself, if she was a very attractive sex partner early on, then where is she getting her sexual satisfaction right now?
You two must get help; three sexual encounters in six years is unacceptable! My wife refuse most of the time to have sex, but forbids me to masturbate. I lied a few times about the fact that I did masturbate and now she totally refuses to have sex with me because of lack of trust. She can be a whole month without approaching me, and if I do approach her, she pushes me away almost all the time.
She wants me to agree with her that masturbation is bad, while still withholding sex for a month. I would say that I have intercourse on an average of once a month. Any suggestion on how I can handle the situation? I am going to become crazy! Chances are you will start shaking and trembling have sex with her throw up afterward and start having feelings of worthlessness and guilt for years to come. You would never be able to tell your girlfriend because even masturbation is mistreating you over and at that point, it will be clear to you maintaining the relationship is impossible.
The longer she is in the relationship on her terms the less she will think your terms matter at all. The simple fact is you need sex and even tho you only want it from her ever the rest of your life your body is making demands and has needs that are not being met so this is an unhealthy relationship.
My wife say She had lots of trauma in the past Because I was working in far away place when the kids where young She had to bring up the kids alone These cumulative problems ended up in denial of sex now. We had sex 6 months back I feel she had decrease libido since she started dieting and intense yoga and aerobic dance.
We have 2 grown children. I have told her I wish I knew that before we were married. I understand pain is a contributing factor for her since menopause. I do not ask her for intercourse because of her pain. I inform her there are other ways to satisfy sexual urges but she refuses to do anything of a sort. I help with chores around the house and give her foot rubs upon request as she does for me.
We have a short smooch ever now and then in the morning and that is it. We have heated discussions time to time and the intensity evaporates in a hour or so and we both get over it. We never fight about the lack of intimacy between us. We are financially sound and travel together. The last several years have been without any sex at all. I do masturbate every now and then.
I feel my biggest mistake during my life with my wife is that I never could say no to anything she wished for or wanted. I feel I have been good to her and she has never suffered for want of anything. She does tell me she loves me as I do her. How do I get her to show me some intimacy? The fact is this is a horrible way to do things and would leave your wife emotionally scarred the second that pretty young thing was out of the picture the sex would stop and the small sweet things that have maintained you would also go away.
I have been married to my husband for over 11 years. And he calls me names like White Trash. I cook dinner, clean the house, I always give him sex when he wants it. But he rejects me at different times.
Even rejects kissing me and says he needs space and wants to be left alone. And I need love in my life. I hate being called names and feeling hurt by him. When he was married to me he bought 2 books on how to seduce and pick up women. He talked to his ex girlfriend and told her he was going to move into a one bedroom apartment.
And was so angry at me! He would bring home many womens numbers and he think that Polygamy is ok and bookmarked it a bunch of times on his ipad. He would bring women home from work and offer them rides all the time. And I caught him talking to that woman at 2am in the morning.
I was so upset. And that was August 21 Why would he search girlfriend? Does he have a girlfriend? I asked him about it and he lied about it.
Tells me he does not remember. Or his mom was having a dream of her girlfriend. I feel he lies, rejects me, calls me names and puts me down all the time.
I want to be happy. And when I have enough money I plan on leaving him. Cause I need love in my life. A marriage should not be of hate. And he refuses to tell me sorry for all those things he did. He does not feel bad. How sick and twisted is that??? He withholds it from me! I take care of myself. I am sweet to him. Cook dinners for him. And he just takes me for granted.
Thanks for your comment Kate. I just want to take a quick moment and tell you that the way your husband treats you is not just mean. Mine verbaly abuses me and picks fights all the time. All those bad words he gave me made my soul and feelings die for him. Thanks for your comment Mary. Have you considered leaving him? Consider reaching out to community services that work with abused women. The problem with this is you have three choices be emotionally abusive and cheat on her as well.
Be emotionally abused by her like she is doing, or leave there is no fixing her. It had been since since his last day off but it was constant suggestuons to keep him from taking times other people needed and it was hell getting him to stay on second shift so others could lead the lives they wanted. Everything was defiance, court orders and a fight. I thought when we went back we could give him a high tech dollar Sterio clock with changing scenes and any music he wanted.
It was supposed to be a peace offering, birthday, Christmas gift on his birthday when we flew back in and the whole family and friend group that went wanted to sit down and talk about it being a new century and a chance to wipe the last 20 years slate clean and start all over without anger.
Everyone was going to talk to the judge about removing a court order about in the best interest of the community he had to work all offered hours, and Let him have the choice of any vacation time and even see about getting a short leave of absence to make up for the last 20 years he had not had a day off.
A total of about five months was all the union thought could be arranged, For the abuse that happened over him. We had to wait till he was off work at then another hour until he showed. We new after the last several times coming back from Europe if we asked for help with the luggage he would be petty about having to stay and work again so we did not even ask for the help, I saw there was a foot square box in the back wrapped with my name on it I thought good at least he was not got to not buy my Christmas gift that year, I picked it up and took it to the front seat and asked if I could open it in front of everyone, He said go ahead its what I was worth as well as the lot of us.
His parents got the worst insult. The police were there when we arrived and his mothers sister and her husband where waiting realizing the depth of what my husband was calling his mother father and me. My husband said just as soon as we left him alone to make his own decisions.
The next year the friend of his fathers was hauled off the bench in cuffs. A juduicial review was done and the order that kept my husband at bay for 13 years was removed. Then After his father and coworkers abused him six days after a brain surgery on July 31st , t was a surgery that drilled a hole from over his right eye To the center of his head to remove a tumor from the top of his brain stem When They took him to work six days latter saying if he could stand he could work, He had six days to rest why should he expect more.
Three months latter he had started a training program the day after that to get himself in what he called his fighting shape. We had found out when he was in the army he had earned a black belt in sho rea a third leval or dan, He had Japannes catanas he started carrying.
Or the assailants head. Then The New plants bid list went up. My husband and three of his ex military friends decided that they did not have to lay down for the community any longer.
They bid on a job wanted by the Commissioners son, a city councilman and two others that had wealthy and influenicial fathers wanted the same position because it was a clean job and in an air conditioned area.
All wanted out of the department they were in and the many times degree heats, mist oil and coolant as well as the hot metal chips. My husband and his friends just had to much seniority for the union to tell to back off after getting placed under the national microscope. That to was put fourth by my husband and his friends. So November 5th I was littaraly on my knees after a long talk with everyone telling him just back off one more time and everything he wanted was his, Sex, vacations, time off for holidays, and any weekends he wanted without any one crying about it or at least we would not listen.
I told everyone what his answer was. I was told to bolt my husband out of the house the next morning so the four men could get him to see reason. They tried and nearly died for the attempt, My husband did not pull his catana. He was in to tight a space. But we found out that morning he did not need weapons to hurt and maim his feet knees, elbows and even his head were weapons.
Leaving all four men dying on our front porch with broken bones flayed ribs. Now because my husband had some how found out. I was relegated to the life where I had no influence with my husband and he demanded what I left the man with his ribcage so badly broken the ribs drove into the sack around his heart through his lungs. I still feel his reaction was far to mean with them over a bid and no time off and my refusal of sex his resentments just turned deadly And Every time from then on he arranged to hirt someone when they interfered with his time his vacations, his wants.
He worked right next to a 24 year old with 2 years seniority who he had trained to tak his place for his vacations and holiday he was taking off that year, This young man got his nursing student girlfriend with child and she did not want an abortion, So we thought get them the best start in life we could.
We cancelled my husbands trip without his knowing. I went to his union president the same day and his father and I explained we wanted his weeks after Christmas shutdown for five weeks in St Croix I thought it was a fair exchange for the orient express trip and his father even kicked in the ten percent for cancelling. The union president said we put him in a bad position, This whole thing stank after the last 24 years of our abuse, He said that My husband had 34 years and he knew that since he came home he had to be deathly ill to get six days off in the last three decades, His father was yelling well sometimes a man has to give up on his wants for every ones good.
His steward and Chaplin were in TSA when he got there to try and keep my husband from getting in bad trouble when he found out what we wanted. I was going to hold the dollar cancelation check to give him at his work gate on Christmas with the ST Croix vacation as a surprise.
I was crying it was just severn more months and we would make this one up and he had already worked all those years, It was just seven more that he would work The Union Steward even said the union was kicking in the lions share if he would just be nice about it since he had been badly used the last 24 years.
He was not nice about it. I found myself flying across the room. With my shoulder dislocated and TSA and four other men were trying to separate my husbands fingers off his fathers throat getting his passport back. All because he resented us trying to get everybody something in life he left himself out. He was In Surgery again by Thanksgiving He was In rehab not able to walk with a high end antibiotic being pumped into him to Control the MRSA that caused his spinal cord to crush and partially sever in a slip.
He was Medically retired the third of January with 35 years credited service. When he came home three years latter there was a plan to give him a nice evening and a good meal. Just everyone sit down and discuse the resentment and the expectations from all from that day, But as usual things happened with everything being accelerated I was out with my AP the night he came home. I was not expecting him back until that weekend.
When I got home the next morning I begged to take the conversation about to happen off the street. He cleared the drive and followed us in. He just wanted me to vanish No contact to get an abandonment nullification of marriage. My friend however was married, We only saw each other when he was travelling for his clients.
He thought that sweeping my husbands cane would be funny. I know it hurt when my husband hit the floor. He struggled to sit up and took the rubber grip tip off. That cane flew across the room and fractured the other mans scull dropping him in place. The retaliation was not equal to the crime. My husband was put in a stress center. Two weeks latter He came home from the center. We were planning a nice dinner for three days from then.
Everything was going on the table. We just wanted people to stop being hurt when he decided he was shoved to much and nobody listened to him. I had promised to go that evening to a dinner he was not invited to. On the evening the center sent him home. I came out of the bedroom just finishing getting ready. I was trying to make a deal to still go to the dinner that evening even handing him to pick a place for every one to meet after the dinner I was going to in four hours.
Not even asking for a delay of 24 hours. Just a stinking four hours then we could sit and try and find a way to allow traditions and holidays as well as a vacation for him.
We already thought our plans for Cancun were set in HE was not going. We were going to suggest that he wait until Hawaii in so we could try and work him in then in four more years. That night he was so angry that we would dare tell him that we needed to talk about what would be ALLOWED him In holidays and vacation time he told me listing of what his sweat , blood and time had enable me the last thirty one years and he was yelling why did we have any thought we allowed him any thing, He said from that second he was the final judge and arbiter of what he was allowed in his home and our marriage.
I found my dress shredded in my husbands hands. I was begging pleading and crying things were not meant to happen as they did for 3 decades they just did, What he was thinking did not have to happen this way. He hurt me taking what I had not offered that evening. He had tossed me the phone telling me the number was Lets get the last 31 years into open court. Lets see which of us goes to prison with his head up and who leaves hiding under coats.
When all this started in it was meant that in two years if he was nice with his return from the Navy he was going to not be interfered with after that. I wanted children of my own just like he did. What we ended up with was Hell on earth. A man that automatically takes the opposition against everyone now. And if interfered with they end up hammered into the ground.
The Cancun trip I was again begging him to just try and keep things peaceful with my friends and his father. He had taken everything in planning the trip away from me Making the Berth reservations. His fathers best friend. Taking the funds for himself. His father just wanted one more time to have his friend on the trip I just wanted peace.
We did not go. The Cruise lines are completing the agreement to pay my husbands next five years vacations. His father ended up with his neck broken for threatening my husband with a ball bat, telling him to just shut his face and go home.
Just let us have a vacation In peace. He swung the bat. Theres nothing my husband has not done to press his will on holiday traditions the last three years. It will only be my mother, sister, and her husband up here at high range cabin.
We have snow already and the weather says a deep one on Christmas is coming. I am used to parties of over 30 people This year will be probably snowed in 70 miles from any place. I am going to miss the Buisness suits and ties a group of friends just enjoying the meal and going out with a stop to give my husband the sandwiches and a ten for Christmas going to the club for after diner drinks The Last 8 years my husband was on his feet he never once said have a merry Christmas when I waited to wish him one going out the door to work the 16 hour days on holidays What he would say was what was so merry another stinking day at work just longer.
After We have not had a kind word out of him, Just this dour angry man when he was forced to work in place of other people.
I think if just one year he had not been so angry about being there for other people something might have been arranged. Even a weekend off might have been to much however. He would have taken everything he had seniority rights to. I now wonder what other options any one had. My husband was strong able to take the loads and the knowledge to do almost every thing. He just put his head down and continued on like the enigizer bunny.
I was sorry that he was abused but instead of trying to understand the needs of others at least sit down and try to work other times and things out with the union and company to get time he wanted off Like take mid winter vacations when other people had needs for late spring and summer slots.
Try to arrange for a direct exchange of holiday days instead of getting angry he was not getting the same considerations. Now for holidays and vacations if your seniority is where the higher numbers on the list, if they have the seniority the younger seniority no matter the need has to work or loose a 31 an hour position.
Theres no getting around the contract for any one now.
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