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To those moments in life, which will never return. Why Tanushree Dutta is my superhero. My boyfriend wants to have a threesome with our best friend. My boyfriend is an erotic guy who wants to live out his sexiest fantasies. We are in a steady relationship for more than seven years. And when I say sexy fantasies, we have tried almost everything under the sky, literally. However, recently he admitted that he gets turned on with the idea of getting into a threesome act. When I hesitated, he convinced me that it will be fun and the third person will just watch us having sex.
We have a common best friend, a girl, who had agreed to take part in it since we are very close and hardly keep any secrets. I love my boyfriend a lot and have genuinely enjoyed experimenting with him earlier. What should I do? Bringing in a third person into your steady long-term relationship can be difficult and awkward. Every couple sets their own boundaries together for sexual experimentations, and there is no right or wrong answer to it.
It depends on what you are both okay with. Having said that, I can share my experience of working with partners who had engaged in a threesome to throw some light on the effect it can have on your relationship, which can help you evaluate your own position. A threesome is a common fantasy and appeals people for being sexy and alluring, yet dangerous and forbidden. Our society views intimacy between two partners as normal and traditional, and a threesome is believed to be not a part of a healthy, long-term relationship.
These core beliefs lead to confusion and conflict, and it is great that you are seeking clarity for it. People usually want a threesome as it fulfills a desire to have sex with someone else without being unfaithful. A couple need to reflect on what lies in the core for their relationship before exploring a threesome act. Read Post a comment. Login from existing account Facebook Google Email. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter. All Comments Your Activity.
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Married guy dumped me after having sex. I was seduced by my stepdaughter. Married for 10 years but my husband still loves his ex.
It is nothing to feel threatened over, especially since at this stage there is nothing physical going on between the two of them. Should you get angry at him for a crush? In fact, it is the perfect moment for you to focus on how to make your relationship with your boyfriend even better.
On the other hand, if you see that the crush is growing into something more, then it is time to put on the big girl pants and let both your friend and your man go.
If they want each other, there is nothing you can do to stop them from testing it out. Back away and move on. It is always great when your best friend comes over because your boyfriend suddenly turns into super boyfriend.
He is always snuggled right up next to you when she is around and he will get up and make you your favorite drinks at the drop of a pin. He is great when she is around, but it feels like he is showing off.
A lot of things may be happening here. First, he may have a crush on your friend and he is showing her how great of a boyfriend he is. It could also be that he is not interested in her and he is showing her that he is totally devoted to you. Whatever the case is, you should feel fairly safe, even if he is crushing.
After all, he is giving you all the attention and not her. That is not such a bad idea, you think to yourself, and you grab your cell phone. But then it hits you. What if he wants her to come over because he wants to see her, too? He might even start pushing for you to call her and invite her over, even when you would rather be alone.
You can take this in one of two ways. The first few times he did this, you just thought he was being curious. He's not trying to get her attention by liking her posts et cetera. He is curious about who she is and what she posts, but he will probably get bored with it soon enough.
Now that your man is about, she is suddenly over all the time. Part of the reason for this sudden change is that your boyfriend has become besties with her. It could be that he is trying a little too hard to show you that he can be friends with your friends. Maybe he just wants to fit in with your crowd. He could also be crushing on your friend and, in this case, you do have a reason to worry. If your friend was never a close friend, then it is time to distance her from your relationship.
Make plans for alone time with your man and draw his attention back into your relationship. If he is unwilling to let his new bestie go, then you need to let him go. Then your boyfriend decides to get involved and get her a date with one of his good buddies. Sure, your guy might be crushing on her, but he is committed to you.
The next best thing for him to do is to hook her up with a friend he trusts. Does this make your relationship weak? In fact, it tells you that maybe there are a few things you could be doing to make your relationship even stronger than it already is. He is passing her up for you and giving his friend a great opportunity to date your bestie.
It is a total win-win. From the moment your friend walks in the door and right up to the moment she walks out, your boyfriend is smiling from ear to ear. The minute she is gone, he seems to slump into some mild form of depression.
Does he like her that much that he is unhappy whenever she is not around? Or could the whole thing have been an act and was he just being super polite? The trick here is to not get jealous. That will only make things worse. Your boyfriend may be genuinely happy to have your friend around and he may even have a little crush on her.
For now, that is nothing to worry about. Instead of focusing on how he feels about your friend, you should start focusing on how the two of you feel about each other.
It may be time to work on your relationship with your man and bring the fun back in. I had a boyfriend who would occasionally talk on the phone to my best friend. I trusted my best friend completely so I never had a reason to question their conversations.
Fortunately for me, nothing ever happened. My past boyfriend was just trying to be a friend to her because she was my best friend. I never felt a pang of jealousy the entire time. Sometimes phone conversations are just for fun or for information. There is nothing wrong with a boyfriend talking on the phone to your friend once in a while, but if it becomes a daily thing, your man may be starting to have more serious feelings for your friend. If it seems as though he spends more time communicating with her than with you, you may need to talk to both of them about it.
If they have feelings for each other, then you should walk out of their lives. If you are overreacting, they will let you know. Guys have a strange habit of trying to feed the people they like.
Dads do it to their daughters. Of course, your guy might be a great cook and honestly enjoys feeding people, including your friend. However, if he is going out of his way to make sure your best friend is fed, there may be some primal feelings going on here. While trying to feed your girlfriend should not cause an argument, it is just a signal that maybe you should start paying more attention to the way they act around each other.
If it appears that they are just being friends, toss away the jealousy. You, your man, and your friend all went together for a day at the beach. The sun was shining bright, seagulls were everywhere, and the three of you were snacking your way down the boardwalk.
Not having a threesome is much better than having an unenthusiastic one. Plus, if you're the jealous type, watching some other guy with your partner is probably not for you. So, you've found your third person. In order to make sure everything else goes off without a hitch, it's time to set some ground rules, and figure out a game plan.
An easy first step should be to figure out where you're having it. If you and your partner are most comfortable having it happen at your place, talk about where in your home or apartment the action is going to go down. Maybe your partner would prefer that you guys keep it out of your personal room, and instead utilize the couch or spare room you have.
Or maybe you want to start things off with a steamy group shower, and move from there. The more logistics you can nail down, the more seamless the whole thing will go. Not sexy, but necessary: Ask that the person joining you get tested for STDs. In fact, it might not be a bad move for all of you to schedule a screening, just so that everyone involved feels good about moving forward.
Now would also be an ideal time to talk about protection. Does your third have a condom preference? Maybe a latex allergy?
Get clear on your course of action for protecting yourselves, and schedule that STD test immediately. As for your game plan? Have an open discussion with your partner about what her expectations are for this experience. Points to include should be what she's comfortable doing with your third, and what she's comfortable with you doing to the guest as well. For example, is she OK with you penetrating the guest?
With going down on the guest? What is she willing to do to your third, or have done to her by the third? Consider coming up with a safe word between the two of you — something that your guest wouldn't pick up on, but that you immediately understand to mean that your partner is uncomfortable with what you're doing, and wants you to stop — without her having to look like the one who's stopping the good time.
Remember that you're walking more of a fine line whenever you experiment and try something new, so never push too far. Most women want to be familiar with their partner before they'll try something very new. If this is her first threesome, that's already a big deal. You don't want to push her to go down on the other woman just because you'd like to see it. The same goes for sex toys , which might seem more taboo to some people than a threesome. You're going to have sex with two women and all three of you have your own rules and limits, so understanding and respecting one another's comfort levels should be a top priority when you're establishing your threesome rules.
Make sure all three of you are clear on what's OK and what's off-limits before things get underway. You've done the research and the prep work, and now it's time to seal the deal. Here are a few best practices for a threesome that's hot and mind blowing — sans awkwardness. There's an exception here: If both women are very shy, you might be waiting quite a while for them to make moves. But if it's possible, letting the women initiate things will make them feel more comfortable, because they'll feel in control of the situation.
Plus, this method will likely go over better with your partner than if you were to jump into touching both of them off the bat. Let them get acquainted, and join once they pull you in. You may end up feeling ignored — and should do your best to get over it. The best way to approach this situation, and an important threesome rule to follow, is to forget your feelings for a moment and try to be as generous with your hands and mouth as you can.
Pleasure in one-on-one sex goes back and forth, but in a threesome it's more of a cycle that moves from person to person. So be patient; focus on turning both women on and the attention will come back to you. Whatever pleasure you get in a threesome is a treat, so instead of expecting anything in particular like both women going down on you at the same time , enjoy everything that comes your way. If you feel like you always have to be paying attention to both women, then neither will be satisfied.
As you already know, a good, successful player is a good "giver. When you double your pleasure, you double the tongues. That is, there is another person to help you out with jobs you'd normally take care of yourself. The main thing to keep in mind is that no one will ever be without something to do.
Which brings us to the next point. Especially if this is your lady's first threesome , she'll likely need to do some warming up, and you should let her do her thing. If the two other participants are giving each other attention, find something to do. Give light attention to both parties, whether it's stroking their back, breasts, or thighs. Get your mouth and tongue involved. Kiss necks, tongue nipples. Don't be afraid to touch yourself while doing so, either.
The attention will come back around to you momentarily. This might sound like a no brainer. But when you're in the heat of the moment or you know, inside one of the women it can be hard to make sure no one feels like they're getting the short-changed. Best case scenario, the women who you're not inside of picks up the slack and starts tending to you or the other woman.
Kiss and touch the other woman, look her in the eye, and talk to her if the mood is appropriate. If you're switching from penetrating one woman to the other, you'll need to ditch the old one and put on a brand new condom.
In an ideal world, one or both of the women will help make that change as seamless and sexy as possible. But if not, make sure you have condoms within arm's reach to make the swap quick and easy. Just like with regular intercourse, you want the whole experience to have a fluidity to it. Sure, pauses may happen and even be necessary as mentioned with the condom change above, or if one partner suddenly becomes uncomfortable or needs a break. Still, you want to keep things as smooth as if it were just one-on-one.
If you're going to move from kissing one woman to kissing the other, for example, let your hands lead the way. Always strive to be as smooth as possible, even in this new situation. Especially when you're doing it inside of someone — and even if you're wearing a condom. If it happens, it happens, but if you can help it at all, it would be in your best interest to finish inside your partner rather than in your guest star.
Yes, you want both women to feel special and important here. But at the end of it all, you're going to say goodbye to one of them — and still be in a relationship with the other fingers crossed. So you'll want to end things in a way that makes your partner feel like the MVP of this threesome.
You came, you saw, you conquered. And now there are two exhausted, satisfied women lying in your bed — one of which is your partner.
My boyfriend can be said to be a kinky guy in sex because of his sexual fantasies Should I have a threesome with my best friend and her boyfriend? Therefore, they use tinder style apps in threesome dating field seeking their partners who. To make sure all parties involved have the best threesome forum, asking for help after a threesome led a partner to seek out the third, on her own, privately. was to tell you about how every guy at the bar hit on her friend?. Q: My boyfriend and I have talked about having a threesome (with A: Finding your third wheel is truly one of the hardest parts of having a like your boyfriend was enjoying having sex with your best friend a little too much?.