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Started by Invincible , March 8, Leaning towards traditional for us. However we're pretty modern when it comes to marriage at this stage - we both do whatever is needed around the house - not necessarily gender based, more just who is more suited to the role at the time. I am a traditionalist when it comes to dating but am more modern with marriage roles. I would like my husband to be a good leader, protector and to have a strong moral disposition with our son mostly because he will be a role model for my son.

But then again I want to have a career so I don't want him to be the only worker I don't think gender roles are really bad if they are done tastefully and respectfully. I'm definitely more modern.

I do want to be the one who controls our financial plan, though. Not because I'm a a man and she's a woman. I just really like to control finances. If she has a plan that is better than mine or works really well with mine, it might end up as more of a team effort, though. In terms of dating I guess I'm more traditional, if being traditional means looking for marriage. I would say more tradtional but in todays age my wife may need a job due to bills.

I also would like to point out that I don't think casual dating is wrong as long as you're not doing something, and just having fun with people. I'm much more of the modern relationship type of person. Well minus the fact they would pay for the dates, that's just unacceptable! Im glad you said that Josh I hear so many excuses from some men "well women want equal rights let them pay for themselve" pfft.

If you like the girl be a gentleman and pay for the dang date. The majority of "traditional" people--especially traditional women--are only traditional in their expectation that the man pays for everything, while seeking "equality" in every other aspect of the relationship. And that is the problem with the majority of people who call themselves traditional.

I call these relationships "semi-traditional", and I refuse to engage in them. Either we're traditional, or we're modern--no cherry-picking.

I definitely prefer traditional relationships--but I am strictly referring to genuine tradition only. Definitely more traditional, with the exception of working and finances. I don't see myself ever being a stay-at-home mother. Too much blood, sweat, and tears have gone into my schooling for me to give up working.

Also, I believe in both partners should manage finances together. Definitely more traditional, except I'd be working too. Preferably from home, and preferably as an author, so I only have to write a couple of hours a day, then publish a boom every couple of years, and then spend the rest of my time with my family.

Surprise, surprise I'm more traditional! People just want instant gratification--no bonding, no genuine loyalty. I look at modern America's idea of romance, which is more like a business transaction, and see nothing. Contemporary "relationships", which I feel is too strong a term, helped bring about the death of courtship and even romance in a lot of cases. So your saying people who want relationships where both the people are equal a joke?

Just because two people don't want to be courted doesn't mean their relationship is a joke. Well, all I can say for sure is that actual dating will be with marriage in mind and I'll pay for the first date. Everything else is TBD. I'm half a puzzle with no idea whom the other half is nor how we'll fit together.

Its not about "equality. What I mean is that in today's idea of romantic love, and "relationships", sex isn't just demanded, its expected. People don't love each other, they love things about each other. Apparently Hollywood is in charge of how people should handle their relationships now, we're witnessing the consequences.

Oh alright, sorry I did misunderstand that, I hate that sex is expected now too in a relationship just because the media says so. Don't sweat it, friend. And don't even get me started on how the media depicts things. I assure you, its worse than you might have guessed-- the media is out to keep you ignorant, I kid you not.

My mother, a Christian and a traditionalist, bought the "Magic Mike" movie. I told her I didn't like having that filth in the house, as it spits on everything I stand for. She assured me it was just "entertainment value", and nothing more. I guess I could sympathize, as I play games with racy themes I'm looking at you, Mass Effect. While I don't have as strong values towards the sex in media as you, as i watch many movies with sex in it and some of my favorite movies are about sex in relationships, I will agree though magic mike was a bit over the top as far as what is allowed to be put out there and not be labeled pornography.

And there's always the saying "sex sells" which is a huge reason it's so big in the media, and sometimes it's sadly true. I'm more traditional except I see myself and my husband both working. I can understand being a stay at home wife during the first few years after our kids are born or until they start school, but I don't like the idea of being a stay at home wife for the rest of my married life.

I'm a mixture of both. I don't mind splitting the bill on dates or the guy being the stay at home father - although not sure that would happen unless I make good money.

I don't think there would be specific gender roles but I would not mind if there was. You need to be a member in order to leave a comment. Sign up for a new account in our community. All Activity Home Discuss Stuff! Traditional Relationship Guy pursues the girl, at least most of the time asking out, paying for dates, proposing Goal of dating is strictly for marriage courtship Girl stays home with kids while guy makes money after marriage Father is the leader, protector and stricter role with kids while mother is nurturing, tender and supporter.

Modern Relationship Both people pursue each other equally. Girl might ask guy out, pay for first date or split bill or propose Goal of dating may not have marriage as goal Both people may work or father may stay home with kids Little or no traditional gender roles involved etc Which do you lean more towards or are you somewhere in between? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites.

I'm pretty sure my wife will be a stay at home mum though. I'm a psuedo-modern relationship type of guy. Essentially a mixture of traditional and modern.

Get with the program, guys! So its obvious which one I'm leaning towards. Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2. Create an account or sign in to comment You need to be a member in order to leave a comment Create an account Sign up for a new account in our community. Register a new account. Sign in Already have an account? Sign In Sign Up.

However we're pretty modern when it comes to marriage at this stage - we both do whatever is needed around the house - not necessarily gender based, more just who is more suited to the role at the time. I am a traditionalist when it comes to dating but am more modern with marriage roles. I would like my husband to be a good leader, protector and to have a strong moral disposition with our son mostly because he will be a role model for my son.

But then again I want to have a career so I don't want him to be the only worker I don't think gender roles are really bad if they are done tastefully and respectfully. I'm definitely more modern. I do want to be the one who controls our financial plan, though. Not because I'm a a man and she's a woman. I just really like to control finances. If she has a plan that is better than mine or works really well with mine, it might end up as more of a team effort, though. In terms of dating I guess I'm more traditional, if being traditional means looking for marriage.

I would say more tradtional but in todays age my wife may need a job due to bills. I also would like to point out that I don't think casual dating is wrong as long as you're not doing something, and just having fun with people. I'm much more of the modern relationship type of person. Well minus the fact they would pay for the dates, that's just unacceptable!

Im glad you said that Josh I hear so many excuses from some men "well women want equal rights let them pay for themselve" pfft.

If you like the girl be a gentleman and pay for the dang date. The majority of "traditional" people--especially traditional women--are only traditional in their expectation that the man pays for everything, while seeking "equality" in every other aspect of the relationship. And that is the problem with the majority of people who call themselves traditional. I call these relationships "semi-traditional", and I refuse to engage in them.

Either we're traditional, or we're modern--no cherry-picking. I definitely prefer traditional relationships--but I am strictly referring to genuine tradition only.

Definitely more traditional, with the exception of working and finances. I don't see myself ever being a stay-at-home mother. Too much blood, sweat, and tears have gone into my schooling for me to give up working. Also, I believe in both partners should manage finances together. Definitely more traditional, except I'd be working too. Preferably from home, and preferably as an author, so I only have to write a couple of hours a day, then publish a boom every couple of years, and then spend the rest of my time with my family.

Surprise, surprise I'm more traditional! People just want instant gratification--no bonding, no genuine loyalty. I look at modern America's idea of romance, which is more like a business transaction, and see nothing. Contemporary "relationships", which I feel is too strong a term, helped bring about the death of courtship and even romance in a lot of cases.

So your saying people who want relationships where both the people are equal a joke? Just because two people don't want to be courted doesn't mean their relationship is a joke. Well, all I can say for sure is that actual dating will be with marriage in mind and I'll pay for the first date. Everything else is TBD.

I'm half a puzzle with no idea whom the other half is nor how we'll fit together. Its not about "equality. These people often end up cheating. Even if they can remain faithful, will feel trapped in monogamous relationships, feeling unfulfilled, not because their partner is lacking but because they feel the need to love more than one.

My girlfriend and I decided to explore polyamory because we are both bisexual. She is wonderful, but she is not a man, so I always found myself missing that experience. I started seeing a man, and she saw a couple of women. In opening our relationship, we found that, not only could we get our needs met, but that we had a new closeness. Rather than feeling that she was keeping me from something, we could be open and honest in our desires, and even share our attraction to other people.

Let me tell you, checking out girls with your girlfriend is awesome. For others, opening the relationship takes something that creates a chasm between couples, attraction to other people, and makes it a point of commonality.

This is the kind of happiness that you feel when your best bud get's a date with the hot girl at the bar. The only difference is that the best bud in question is your significant other.

It is important for couples to have hobbies and interests in common. Many people are very interested in courting, and many poly couples find great enjoyment in sharing their interest in this activity. Let's say that you are already in a relationship and find that the idea of an open relationship interesting. Here are a few ways that opening a relationship can work and not work. Examples of Good Situations for an Open Relationship Both of partners agree that there is no reason to be monogamous This is a pretty obvious one.

If both of you are thinking that there is no reason why you cannot see other people and think that it might be interesting, this is a good situation to try an open relationship.

The partners still love each other, but the sex is lacking This is one situation that has to be approached very delicately, but it is a sensible situation for opening the relationship. If you were entirely satisfied in your relationship except that you loved baseball and your mate hated it, you'd find some friends to go to baseball games with and everyone would be happy.

This is similar, but with sex instead of baseball. Of course, this is very different because few people are taught to base their self worth on the love of baseball, while many people are taught that their self worth is based on their sexual prowess.

In this case, understanding that sex is but a part of your relationship, you might offer to let him go and find satisfy his needs elsewhere. This is sometimes jokingly called "outsourcing. The most common pitfall I hear about in this situation is not that jealously crops up, but that the man thinks that it is some kind of test of his character and loyalty, so he declines the offer. Why might he think so? Because most advice columnists and radio DJs will tell him that it's a trap and that she is trying to get him to "cheat" so she can "catch" him.

One partner has a fetish or interest that the other is not interested in indulging Similar to the above example, perhaps the sex life is satisfactory, but there is a particular fetish that your partner has.

For example, maybe he really enjoys sadomasochism as a top, but you have no desire to be a bottom. You might decide to let him go exercise his desires on someone who would appreciate his particular interests. The important thing here is to realize that the other woman is not better than you overall, she is simply better than you at satisfying that one single need.

Examples of Bad Situations for an Open Relationship There are other underlying issues causing stress in the relationship Often, a poor sex life for a couple is caused by other stresses: Perhaps they may feel that the sex with their partners is unsatisfying, so things would get better if they could get more satisfying sex somewhere else.

This is a situation that, in the poly groups online, they refer to as "relationship broken, add more people. The stresses that are causing problems in the first place will lead to mistrust and jealousy, and drag a third, unwary victim into the already broken relationship. One partner wants to see other people but do not want to let the other partner do the same It is one thing if one partner says, "you can see other people, but I have no desire to.

It is fundamentally unfair and generally is only even attempted in a relationship with an uneven power dynamic. In the end, this will likely cause great jealousy and resentment. Approaching the Topic of Opening the Relationship Opening this conversation must be done carefully. Avoid the following phrase, "I think we should see other people. Often, opening this conversation will lead to the question of "What brought this up? Generally, I might suggest talking about open relationships in theory before trying to talk about them specifically, for you.

This way, you can get an idea what your partners concerns are before things become emotional and heated. There are also a few points that you want to make sure to get across. If any of the things on the following list are not true, do not try to get them across, but also seriously re-evaluate your relationship.

Working with Couples in Non-Traditional Relationships practice treating couples who are looking to restore passion to their relationships. Solo poly subscribers are not focused on being in any relationships that looks like the “traditional relationship.” Other forms of polyamory are. 1) Those involved with poly/open/non-traditional relationships have a there are many ways people can “be together” (see “What Does Polyamory Look Like?.