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If you thought the Fifty Shades of Grey book series was fifty shades of HOT, then you're likely excited about the movie version's Valentine's weekend release. While kink caused the controversy and media coverage, I contend the main appeal of these books for women is something much more mainstream and traditional.
Anyone who wants to please a woman sexually can learn a thing or two from author E. Anastasia Steele is a year-old virgin at the start of the story. She is the shy girl next door. This character seems to resonate with American women of all ages because her sexual awakening gives us all permission to be sexual without shame or embarrassment. In her role as a sexual submissive, Ana allows Christian Grey to control and pleasure her body in ways she didn't know were possible. Through surrendering to Christian, Ana can still be a "good girl" yet also sexually adventurous.
At the most basic level, Christian makes Ana feel desired. Although Ana is insecure about her appearance, Christian is overwhelmed with desire for her. For many of us, feeling desired by someone we admire makes us feel more worthy and attractive. The reader can embody the raw, insatiable desire, and perhaps recall his or her own experiences with this prior to other priorities and life stresses getting in the way, or the newness of their relationship wearing off.
All of this makes Ana feel special. With Christian's good looks, fortune and power, he could woo many women This must mean that she's special in some way. Then, despite his desire for a non-emotional sexual relationship, he falls for her and begins to change and open up. This further indicates how extraordinary she must be, and the female reader feels this excitement and power through Ana.
In spite of the sexual kinks, this is a traditional romance story in many ways, which makes it familiar and safe. This also means that anyone who wants to please a woman sexually can glean some sexual insights. The first take-home message is that women like confident lovers. Sure, it's unlikely you are a fantasy man who is attractive, sexy, wealthy, powerful, philanthropic and aged 27, like Christian Grey. Deal with it and own what you've got. Fake it until you make it when it comes to confidence.
Channel Christian Grey, if you have to. The next lesson, if your partner is game, is to introduce new aspects of power play and sensual play in the bedroom.
You can practice dominance by removing your partner's senses, such as tying her up with a scarf, using a blindfold or putting in ear buds with carefully chosen music. Be slow, teasing and in charge. Let her experience how much you desire her. Finally, make the object of your desire feel special.
Let her know through words, actions, time and attention that you think she is amazing. Never stop courting her, so she always knows she is a top priority. There are warranted critiques of this story, like the poor writing, imprecise depiction of BDSM and portrayal of an unhealthy relationship.
But Fifty Shades unexpectedly pushed the right buttons for many women. If you found yourself stirred by the steamy scenes, think about what this indicates about your sexual interests. And consider if is your year of sexual awakening. Jenn" Gunsaullus, PhD, is a sociologist, sexuality speaker, and relationship and intimacy counselor. Her hobbies are beach volleyball, soo bahk do, learning Spanish, and talking about sex. Billy Jeffrey doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve - he doesn't even wear a shirt.
What's the best thing about being a Chippendale? I believe Chippendales truly is the best job in the world for me at this time in my life, but it's not for everyone. Aside from having the personality, the talent and the look, it really is a lifestyle.
Our show is around two hours long. The rest of the time, you're hanging with your friends, getting your workout in, traveling the world, staying at the best hotels, eating at the finest restaurants or food prepared by our private chef, partying at the hottest nightclubs And did I mention the girls?
People often ask, "Why would you want to be a male revue dancer? I remind them about the opportunity we have to do what we want the other twenty-two hours of the day. How about the worst thing?
It's definitely the events that you miss - weddings, family gatherings, birthdays and holidays, Father's Day, Mother's Day, births. We are on the road over nine months out of the year. How did you get into the Chippendales business? I did well on the show and got enough face time to get a few phone calls, and one of them was from Chippendales.
Well, lucky for me, after three days of photos, interviews and tested dancing ability, I made the cut. What do you do when not touring with Chippendales? I actually own and operate two GNC vitamin stores. I opened my first store when I was 20 years old, before Chippendales. My second store, I opened two years ago. Helping people reach their peak of health and fitness is my passion. I work nearly seven days a week when I'm not on tour, in my stores, as your GNC guy.
What are your future career plans? I have a few good years left with Chippendales. Because of my past television appearances, Hollywood keeps calling back and one of these days I just might answer the phone again. I have always wanted to see if another part in the entertainment business is for me. I can see myself giving that a try. What's your favorite type of person to perform for? My absolute favorite is the girl that didn't want to come to Chippendales. I have heard it ten thousand times: It's these girls that come up to me after the show and are surprise.
They tell me their story, tell me their preconceived notions they had before the show and how they didn't want to come. And now, after experiencing Chippendales, how wrong they were. Have you ever faced significant wardrobe malfunctions? During a live show, anything can happen, and it usually does, if you're around long enough. Ripped pants, broken zippers, popped buttons are all just part of the job. One significant malfunction was years ago when we were in Europe.
We were doing the "Construction" number, and, lo and behold, I did a move and slit the back of my pants. Not a big deal to most, but at the end of this number we are naked, so I didn't have any underwear on. How do you stay in such great shape? Being 'in shape' is never due to just one thing. Correct food and protein intake, exercise six to seven days a week and proper supplementation are the three main focus points. Within those are hundreds of other principals that we follow.
Which of your muscles elicits the most compliments? Abs, by far, are the most popular with the ladies. To be honest, though, my smile gets just as many.
Blessed with two dimples, three rounds of braces and a lot to smile about, I'm told this is my best feature. The sexiest man on the planet is the guy that has a deeper understanding about his time and his life on planet Earth. He respects the Earth, himself and others, friends and foes. A man that understands it's not all about him and can put himself in others' shoes.
A man that doesn't take himself or life too serious, but enough to be a productive member of society. Sexy is in the eye of the beholder, but I believe we all have the opportunity to be the sexiest for that beholder. A few guys that have figured this out: Are you a boardshorts or Speedo guy when you go to the beach? Three San Diego locations: The Art of Conscious Loving: Her site includes a sex blog, free sex education videos, sexuality speaking information, and mindfulness resources.
Sexuality speaker, sexual health educator, sexologist. Erotic Play for CEOs. Condom Fashion Show Emcee. Sexual Turn-ons on San Diego Living. Sexuality Training at Lund University, Sweden. Speaking on Healthy Relationships at GirlFest.
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