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It is a subset of BDSM. In other cases, it can be intensely physical, sometimes crossing into sadomasochism. Those who take the superior position are called dominants —Doms male or Dommes female —while those who take the subordinate position are called submissives —or subs male or female.
A switch is an individual who plays either role. Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles several times in a session. A dominatrix is usually a female sex worker who dominates others for pay. It is common for writers to capitalise the "D" in Dominant but leave the "s" in lowercase for the submissive.
The inner conflict and surrender connected with dominance and submission are enduring themes in human culture and civilization. In human sexuality, this has broadened to include mutual exploration of roles, emotions, and activities that would be difficult or impossible to act out without a willing partner taking an opposing role.
A study suggests that only about 30 percent of participants in BDSM activities are females. A safeword is usually given to the submissive partner to prevent the dominant from overstepping physical and emotional boundaries.
The safeword is especially important when engaging in verbal humiliation or playing "mind-games", because the dominant may not be aware of an emotional boundary until it is crossed.
If an emotional boundary is breached and the safeword spoken, the dominant should cease all play immediately and discuss the emotional breach with the submissive in a tender and understanding manner. It is important to note that for a safe, sane, and consensual environment to be maintained, all participants should have a safeword of which the other is aware; this includes the Dominant partner. While it may not seem so from the outside, Dominants will also have limits and boundaries of their own, and should not only have a safeword but also be comfortable calling it if their own limits are exceeded.
This includes cases where the dominant may feel things have gone too far and is uncomfortable continuing. As with any other participant, the dominant's safeword call should herald the stopping of all play and the start of a recuperative discussion between the participants. It is usually a negotiated lifestyle, with people discussing their wishes, limits , and needs in order to find commonality.
Most adherents search for the essential intensity, trust, and intimacy that are required to make any deep relationship possible. In addition to "dominant" and "submissive", a "switch" is a person who can take either role. A scene between two switches can involve trading off the dominant and submissive roles, possibly several times. In contrast, the terms "top" and "bottom" refer to the active agent and passive patient roles, respectively.
In a given scene, there is no requirement that the dominant also be the top, or that the submissive be the bottom, although this is often the case. The term "vanilla" refers to normative "non- kinky " sex and relationships, the vanilla world being mainstream society outside of the BDSM subculture. The term comes from vanilla ice cream being considered the "default" flavor. It was popularized in internet chatrooms, to make it easier to identify the orientation of the writer or the person being written about.
Also, some submissives eschew personal pronouns, instead referring to themselves as "this slave" or "Master Bob's girl". This is sometimes considered an expression of modesty, but it is an entirely optional method of depersonalizing a submissive during "play". It may have roots in the military , where new recruits are required to refer to themselves as "this recruit", rather than "I" or "me".
Relationships may be monogamous or polyamorous. Fantasy role play can be an element, with partners taking classic dominant or submissive roles, or classic authority-figure roles such as teacher and student, police officer and suspect, or parent and child. These variations may include:. Consent is a vital element in all psychological play, and consent can be granted in many ways. Some employ a written form known as a "Dungeon negotiation form", for others a simple verbal commitment is sufficient.
Consent can be limited both in duration and content. Consensual non-consensuality is a mutual agreement to act as if consent has been waived within safe, sane limits. It is an agreement that consent is given in advance, sometimes without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned, though within defined limits subject to a safeword, reasonable care, common sense, or other restrictions. The consent is given with the intent of its being irrevocable under normal circumstances.
As such, it is a show of extreme trust and understanding and is usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well, or otherwise agree to set clear, safe limits on their activities. It's not unusual to grant consent only for an hour or for an evening. When a scene lasts for more than a few hours, it's common to draft a "scene contract" that defines what will happen and who is responsible for what.
It's a good way to work out what all the parties want, and usually improves the experience. Some contracts can become quite detailed and run for many pages, especially if a scene is to last a weekend or more. For long term consent, a "slave contract" may be drawn up.
BDSM "contracts" are only an agreement between consenting people and are usually not legally binding; in fact, the possession of one may be considered illegal in some areas. Some ceremonies become quite elaborate, and can be as involved as a wedding or any similar ritual.
Some people maintain a special room or area, called a dungeon , which contains special equipment shackles , handcuffs , whips , queening stools , and spanking benches or a Berkley horse , for example used for play scenes, or they may visit a BDSM club that maintains such facilities. Many submissives wear a collar to denote their status and commitment. It can be much like a wedding band, except that only the submissive partner wears one.
The traditional collar is a neck band in leather or metal, chosen, designed, and even crafted by the dominant partner. Some subs wear a "symbolic collar", often a bracelet or ankle chain, which is more subdued than the traditional collar and can pass in non-BDSM situations. It is not uncommon for a sub to have several collars for special occasions. Many people—for example, some in the punk rock and goth subcultures —wear collars for other reasons, such as fashion. So, one cannot assume that all people wearing collars are involved in BDSM.
Members of the furry fandom may also wear collars as a part of costuming or as fashion. Use of collars in the sexual aspects of furry lifestyle may or may not be connected to BDSM, depending on the individual's preferences. One of the most famous works in this area is Leopold von Sacher-Masoch 's Venus im Pelz Venus in Furs , , in which the protagonist, Severin, persuades a woman, Wanda, to take him on as her slave, serves her, and allows her to degrade him.
The book has elements of both social and physical submission, and is the genesis of the term "masochism" coined by the 19th century psychiatrist Krafft-Ebing. The Velvet Underground 's song " Venus In Furs " is based on Sacher-Masoch's novel and discusses sadomasochism, the character Severin, and common bondage practices in a detached, objective, and non-judgmental manner.
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Further information on when consent can be a defense to criminal liability for any injuries caused, and when, for these purposes, non-physical injuries are included in the definition of grievous bodily harm: This section does not cite any sources. Please help improve this section by adding citations to reliable sources. Levitt, Charles Moser, and Karen V. Jamison " The prevalence and some attributes of females in the sadomasochistic subculture: Retrieved from " https: BDSM terminology Sexual acts.
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