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Cute queer seeks one night stand

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At least half of all problems associated with casual sex can be traced back to its name: People think that "casual" means the sex takes no thought and fits as comfortably as sweatpants. But the truth is, you have to date for years before sex gets like that. Monogamy does have a few benefits, after all! Here are ten steps to getting recreational sex right: Be Nice Just because you're never going to see someone again doesn't mean that your manners should fly out the window.

Don't Worry So Much About Inner Beauty One of the best things about casual sex is that you can forget all about soul-mates and long-term compatibility and just focus on a pure, chemical connection: You can sleep with someone just because you like their accent, for example.

Or you can sleep with someone who is far too young -- or too old -- for you. And you can enjoy a guilt-free rendezvous with someone who has a surplus of outer beauty but is somewhat lacking in other departments. Be Honest Just because you're doing away with guilt, doesn't mean you should do away with honesty, too. Don't ever lie about your intentions to get someone into bed.

Man up -- or woman up -- and admit you're just looking for a roll in the hay. And never give a fake number or ask for a number you have no intention of calling. Be a Decent Host Or At Least a Polite Guest We don't care how casual the hookup, it's just plain rude to kick someone to the curb at 5 a.

Let them sleep over. That said, be aware that snuggling for more than 15 minutes may send a mixed message -- but that said, don't be confused if your one-night stand wants to spoon all night.

Some people like a little casual intimacy on the side. And be sure to leave a cheery note; phone number not required. Be Safe Always always always use protection correctly. And know that condoms may not always protect you from everything herpes , HPV Oh, yeah, and don't let a complete stranger tie you up during sex, either!

Casual sex is the perfect excuse to reinvent yourself sexually -- to be extra dirty or to try something new. In other words, to potentially make an ass of yourself, because your flavor of the moment has no idea what you're usually like in bed and will probably never see you again.

Remember, too much missionary is missing the point. Women especially may relish this freedom. Hold the Romance The following activities are not appropriate foreplay during casual sex: Remember, a casual encounter is too fleeting and flimsy to bear the weight of such romance-laden activities -- save those for your monogamous partner, who has no choice but to listen to your "modern take" on Extreme's "More Than Words. Keep Things Light Don't talk about any prescription drugs you may be hooked on or what your therapist thinks of casual sex or how your parents' divorce affects your ability to sustain a relationship.

Be a Grownup When it comes to the sex, don't sulk if you don't get everything you asked Santa for -- only people in relationships are allowed to complain when things don't go their way in bed and even then they should stop focusing on the negative and just be grateful someone puts up with them. Just because casual sex is supposed to be fun, doesn't mean it comes with a money-back guarantee--nor is it necessarily consequence-free especially if you don't wrap up.

In fact, it can often be just as complicated as a relationship, if more fleeting: Enjoying casual sex doesn't mean you don't take sex seriously--it just means you enjoy a romp in multiple contexts. If you're not having a laugh, then you're missing the point. Want your next casual encounter to be dirtier? Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.

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The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness - The Huffington Post

He decides on other collection methods. MF, nc, rp, v, oral, bd, blkmail Peepers Paradise - by Mona - Pretty Sandi gets peeped at by a voyeur, who watches her without her knowledge. He goes along and has a fantastic time.

Jessica Trollop - A mother and son are forced and manipulated into incest by their female landlord. Tinkerbell, Peter's tiny little fairy, not only is jealous of other girls who Peter is friendly with, she plays her own erotic games with Wendy's brother John.

She soon finds herself forced to watch as her husband begins to sexually abuse and violate their drugged 3 year old daughter. We finally decide to not only give him some, but let him be in them with her as they're being taken. This is a true story. He's an eighteen year old boy who I work with and train every day. Viddler - Even pretty women can have kinks in their life. A case in point is pretty Jo, whose looks could let her by a model, but whose kinks makes her act more like a crack whore.

Jo will do anything her boyfriend demands, including incest. She tried to get-up and realized her arms were tied above her in shackles and she was stretched out on a medical examination table in a room filled with plants. Training The Tramp - by Playfulgirl - A school coach encourages sluttish behavior in a pre-teen girl.

Mf, ped, reluc, bd Pledge Horror - by dale10 - Sean Larson shares the horror of his college fraternity pledging days. He is sexually abused and humiliated and degraded.

MMF, nc, rp, v, anal, bd Pool, The - by Anonymous Author - A wife left tied up to the diving board of their back yard pool by her husband, who is unexpectedly called away. Left helpless, she is raped by two black youths. And the male students of the Phi Phi Phi fraternity were certainly appreciative of good looking women.

But Jennifer, however, was the president and head agitator of the local chapter of Concerned Students for Political Correctness.

In her second year at college, she had been instrumental in the college's decision to place the frat house on probation. An 8-year-old girl is kidnapped by two men. However the kidnappers are arrested by the local police and things become twisted into an even more sick direction.

MMg, ped, nc, rp, v, tor, inc, ws, bd Prairie Girl - by ChLaFemme - Domination and forcing orphaned children into transgender rolls is the basis of this story of child abuse and exploitation. Instead it was pleasure. He was fucking me, not in my ass but in my cunt. He bounced me up and down on his powerful stick. He pinned my body against the tree and hammered himself to the hilt into me.

The rough bark scraped against my tender nipples sending jolts of pleasure to combine in my nether regions. Then he suddenly stopped.

I felt myself being turned to face him again. He abruptly slapped my face. MF, role-play, anal-rp, bd, cons Pretty Boy - by dale10 - A bunch of seniors decide pretty boy Chris needs to be taught a lesson. Once captured dozens of men use her in a breeding ceremony to insure her pregnancy. MF-teens, reluc, 1st, anal, bd, sci-fi Princess Kara: Raped for her Country - by Deadly Crystal - Once the eldest princess had her first woman's cycle, she must give her body up to the people to ensure the birth of the next female heir.

Once she conceived and bore this heir, she was the rightful ruler for the rest of her days, or until she decided to give power to her daughter. Until then, she would be fucked day in and day out, until one man's seed took root. MMf, nc, rp, inc, 1st, bd, fantasy Prisoner Costume - by Spanked and Gagged Wonder - A young teen dresses as a sexy prisoner for Halloween and becomes a real prisoner. Danger and sexual tension abound throughout this well written sexy mystery tale.

Riter - I held up the chastity belt for them to see. It was impressive looking, with its shiny, stainless steel belt to fit around her waist and its matching plate to fit over her pussy and lock to the belt.

MF, wife, cheat, blkmail, huml, bd Purchasing Yumi - by Scooter Liebowitz - The guy told me he knew a friend of a friend who dealt in the sex-slave trade. He said that he could introduce me to someone who could accommodate my needs. That's me, chest rising and falling more quickly than usual below tight, shiny skin. That's me, lying there on the new beautiful bed we shopped for, for so long, and bought just for this purpose.

MF, bd, rom Quicksand - by Anon - Quicksand, oral sex, bondage and just good old male submissiveness is what this story is all about. They had been friends since starting school at five years old and had grown up together ever since. Both being from single child families, they have been like brothers.

Fmm-teens, nc, bi, mast, oral, anal, voy, mc, bd Rape Class - by SmCyber - Sometime in the not so distant future, where prisons are used to brainwash people females in this case who won't conform and give the current government trouble.

Considering the past few years, it's not so far fetched. She refused me and abused me. I had my revenge though; extreme and animalistic! Mf, ped, nc, rp, v, bd, huml Raping The Black Haired Landlady - by John Marc - It started off when my landlady offered her ass and I grabbed the opportunity to abuse her in every possible way.

Actually raping her brutally, so as to make her cry out hard and scream loud. After this she became my cum-bucket. MF, nc, rp, v, tor, bd Raping The Twins - by Author Obscure - In this story, a large, muscular black rapist sets his sights on a pair of luscious young white twins. MFF, nc, bd, intr, bi, inc Rapist's Confession - by Anonymous Author - This is a rapist's verbal confession written down by arresting officers. This confession was part of a complete file that convicted the man in The offender sentence will keep him in lock up until I don't mind being a part of her therapy.

A Story Of Love Awakening - by Vivian Darkbloom - He remembered bits and pieces now, how he had been sitting in the right rear seat, perfectly positioned to flirt with the eyes of the beautiful black woman driving, exchanging knowingly arched eyebrows, the sound of her lusty almost-masculine laughter. Actually I sort of WAS the medical station, since I was the only doctor there, and I had supplied, staffed, and paid for the transportation of the supplies and equipment myself.

That was where I met Lesa and Katya. It was completely dark when I opened my eyes. It took me a few moments to even realize that it wasn't that the lights were out or even that it was nighttime but that something else was going on entirely. Only when I felt the fabric against my eyelids did I realize that I was blindfolded. And then as I became aware of the pounding in my head I remembered what had happened. He's a dominant personality to their submissive ones and he soon takes over the whole family fore his own pleasure.

This is the story of our last weekend together, in which she gave me a bigger going away surprise than I could have ever bargained for. Universe - After a humiliating encounter at a local gas station, a group of men take it upon themselves to extract their revenge - and fulfill their sexual desires - on the young woman who unwittingly started it all.

How was they to know it was the daughter of a maid they had fired years ago. He also fucks the preacher for revenge and uses vicious methods to extract his enjoyment. They live alone together on their rural farm in the late 's, and the devil has gotten into them both. Mf, ped, exh, inc, mast, oral, rom, bd Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 Richard - by Peter - A man discovers the joy of submitting to another man.

His wife eventually submits to his new master as well. The sect was called "The Bringers" and their most sacred ceremony required human sacrifice. MF, nc, bdsm, sacrifice Road Hogs - by Ted E Bear A young couple traveling around the country in their van have a run in with a biker gang.

MF, bi, intr, bd, reluc, v, orgies Roommate - by Deirdre - Rachel, my college roommate, has been my best friend at college ever since we first met as assigned roommates our freshman year. But when I invited her home for a weekend, things really changed between us. FF, 1st-lesbian-expr, MF, voy, bd, inc, orgy Rope Torture - by Endrael - A weekend adventure involving a bit of rope, plenty of enjoyable torture, and gasp actual characterization!

This is a stand-alone portion of a much longer work entitled Two Dashes of Mid-Summer. FFM, nc, oral, anal, bd, v, tor, sn Sally's Self-Bondage - by Anon - Sally enjoys the feeling of being helpless, at least as a fantasy, so she makes fantasy reality, all by herself. What a talented girl Sally is. Sally instructed them to pump, going in a little further each time, until they were all the way in. The sounds from the recipients increased in volume as the probes went in further and the ladies pumped.

Salt Pile - by The Devil's Advocate - This story is about a young boy who is a little too adventurous for his own good. Robert takes advantage of this fact and blackmails the boy. The man then gradually transforms the unwilling child into his own personal sex slave. It's not that he forced her to be caned, she had brought it on herself. But when he used the cane it was so vicious, it was agonising torture.

He knew just how to make it hurt and made it last a long time. Now it was her turn and he was silly enough to think it was just a game. He let her tie him to the bed. This is the story of Samantha's revenge.

And she helps arrange a 'Special Wedding'. Unfortunately for Sandra the couple's dog joins in. King - Sarah, an attractive young brunette woman in a small town, is walking home from a party.

She accepts a beer from a strange man in a van. That is just the beginning of a strange sexual odyssey that begins with terror and ends with joyous surrender. MF, reluc, cpls, exh, intr, bd, swing Sara's Torment - by Rex Fulford - This is a story about how an evening at the wrong bar results in a life time of torment.

MF, nc, rp, v, oral, anal, intr, bd, tor, ws Sari And The Green-Eyed Goddess - by Lor Oldmann - A further examination of the sexual awareness in a teenaged boy with the help of his little girlfriend. A first time bi-sexual union between the Domme slave and bi-submissive. It has two endings. It is the story of a sixteen year old girl and her fifteen year old brother and what happens when the brother gets a camera for Christmas and develops a talent for photography.

He talks his sister into modeling and the games begin. It should be noted that the games quickly expand to include others. It is just an amusing little tale. I hope some out there enjoy it. Biology, chemistry, geology - the banes of my existence! Fortunately, we got a new teacher last month.

For me, that has meant a surprising turn of events. MF-teens, reluc, 1st, orgy, bd, oral, mast, ws Scouting The Mall - by Ynyn - A serial rapist goes to the local mall, searching for a new victim. MM, nc, rp, v, 1st-gay-expr, intr, bd, huml, asian Selana - by Ric - A pretty young black girl has problems when she sings on the Florida beaches. Rape is the least of them. Davis - My "Images" a term I stole from Suki are short ideas, images, and sketches written for the amusement of and offered as tribute to my Liege and Lady.

A few selections follow. They are generally cruel and nonconsensual and of interest only to sickphuxs, so please read no further if such doesn't appeal to you. MF, bd, tor, nc Self-Discovery In Leather - by AJ - Coaxed into a gay leather bar by a former girlfriend, a young man allows his submissive side to emerge and she watches as he services one handsome stud and then two others join in. MF, rom, bd, cons Servant, The - by Anon - Once many years ago, the ruling class had power over the poor, complete power.

MF, bd, tor Serving At My Wife's Party - by Peter Allow - A husband is trained to serve his wife and when she invites her female friends he is requested to serve them after their desires, at the dinner and as a desert. FFM, nc, bi, dom, mc, bd, ws Sex Ed: The Hard Way - by Guytotry - Steve wasn't a particularly bad student, he just happened to be the victim of events beyond his control. But the situation that started it all off was his own fault. It all started in Steve's junior year at Middle Village High; just when he was discovering sex and, as usual, the art of masturbation.

After along six year war that started in China spread to the Middle East, then to Africa and then to Europe and ultimately to North America It's the story of young girls experiencing love for the first time along with some of the other things that happen to girls living together at school. An honor student and in the choir at church, Michael's only obvious short-coming was on the sports field. Fair-haired, with classic Nordic-features, there was nothing obvious to give away Michael's darkest secret, unless one happened to get a glance at the front of the boys pants whenever he was alone with his mother.

MMF, bi, orgy, bd, bukkake, tg, sci-fi Part 2 Shame On Me - by Little Miss Blair - Schoolteacher inadvertently discovers her dark side, a side so humiliating and bizarre, it ultimately leads to consequences with her teenage daughter and her daughter's girlfriends. Hyde - by Anon - Tom Hyde was a year-old virgin until he happenchanced to meet Beverly, a beautiful domintrix, looking for a sex slave. Sharri, who is much older, strikes up a conversation with the teen, quickly turning the topic of their conversation to sex.

Char doesn't mind, in fact she's intrigued by the older woman's attention. Ff, bd, 1st-lesbian expr Shaving - Paula Ah - I've always wondered what it would feel like to have someone else shave your pussy. I had done it numerous times for myself but never had the nerve to let any of my partners try their hand at it. MF, bd, spank, shave, blindfold Sheryl And The Straightjacket Incedent - by - An unexpected slip-up starts a guy and his crush on a bit of a kinky relationship.

Straitjacket involves, also touches on mummification, suspension. Excuse after excuse, and there I'd be, angry, frustrated, with only my hand for company.

But it was stopping tonight. Bondage, sadism, "forced" toy and oral sex. MF, bd, nc, oral, toys She's My Bitch Now - by Pallidan - A man's wife and daughter decide to come to his workplace and dominate him and his secretary. An engaging science fiction story. Hooper - Kristi is a submissive who gets to entertain her boyfriend's four college buddies when they come to town. She should be awarded an Oscar for her performance.

Only five pages long but very intense. MMF, orgy, reluc, oral, bd, spank Sidewalk Chalk - by Leviticus - She was a beautiful sight, nude, her head down low, her long hair tied up in a ponytail for the moment. In contrast, her ass was her highest point, a truth more often than not in this house.

Her smooth skin was marred only by the way it changed color from a light tan to a pinkish red, evidence of her latest spanking. Jekyll - A psychopath targets a mother and daughter for his own twisted entertainment. The following story codes refer to the series, not an individual chapter: His head reeled when he heard himself ordering her to perform some task, knowing she must comply, and hers spun with anticipation as she waited for his orders.

And if they had drifted casually into this strange partnership, they both now knew it was where and how they truly belonged together. Wife and sister-in-law surrender to Brother-in-law. MF, voy, nc, rp, bd, rom Sisters' Week - by Illicit Writer - Four sisters and a female relative take their annual vacation with unusual results. He's grown up terribly confused about who and what he is. He's found he's most at ease when he's being a masochist.

He spends some time being used by his sister and school friends, then ultimately concludes he needs something much more brutal and final. He was a slave dealer, who abducted girls and sold to rich, powerful perverts at various secret auctions.

The profit was extremely good, and with the benefit of training, fucking, and sometimes keeping hot girls to himself provided more than enough reasons to stay in this highly dangerous, unlawful business. I pull your hair up and back and fasten it with a silver clasp. Then I close your collar snugly and lock it into place with a small lock and hang the key around my neck. However, around his mid 30s, he snaps. His secret self, the one he kept at bay since he was a teenager, comes rushing out.

His wife tells the tale of when it started. FF, dom, bd Slave Trade - by Anon - They'd always talked about it, about her being used by a group of strong, strapping black studs.

Her being their Cum Dump. And they'd both loved it. The feeling she had of being used and abused all night long and their visits every few days for more of her hot cunt. The weekends she stayed overnight at one of their homes, her husband Len, back at their house waiting for her to return, to tell him about her weekend orgies.

F-solo, hang, bd Slutty Teen Neighbuors - by Spectre - A man makes friends with the underage nieghbourhood girls. MF, exh, v, prost, bd, ws Slave Keeper - by FetishStories - This is the story of a man who has always been kind, generous, and caring about his wife and other people. MF, cheat, rom, bd, fetish Snap! This time she had gone too far.

Her choice was a spanking from her mother and expulsion or a spanking from me. I felt hands all over my body, pushing and tearing off my clothes. They turned me around and nailed me to the bed with the weight of their bodies. Somebody sat on my head, pressing my face down into the soft pillow. A romantic tale with a BDSM theme.

MF, exh, bi, bd, sm, orgy, rom Son's Speedos - by Kip Hawk - A father at the beach lusts after his speedos-wearing fourteen-year-old son, and finally gives in to the temptation. Mm, ped, nc, rp, inc, voy, anal, bd Sophie - the Naked Slave Girl - by Melanie Kay - A young artist's model falls for an older woman who is the instructress of her art class. MF, bd, fanfic, sci-fi Southern Nightmare: Alabama - by Author Obscure - A woman is punished for speeding through a small southern town.

She agreed that it would be me. MF, bd, rom, spank Spanking Next Door, The - by Pallidan - A woman keeps hearing a spanking sounds next door and decides to go over and tell the mother off.

Unfortunately, its the mother who is being spanked and she is drawn into the young girl web. Her own daughter is invited to participates and enjoys every moment of it as the two enjoys their toys. FF, FFbb, ped, exh, reluc, bd, spank, mexicans Sphere, The - by - A bondage enthusiast goes for a ride in her newest creation - with a small change in plans. A short bondage sketch. He was a big one too, by the sound of him.

Edit Cast Cast overview, first billed only: Lord Rothbart voice Howard McGillin Adult Prince Derek voice Michelle Nicastro Adult Princess Odette voice Liz Callaway Princess Odette singing voice John Cleese Jean-Bob voice Steven Wright Speed voice Steve Vinovich Puffin voice Mark Harelik Lord Rogers voice James Arrington Chamberlain voice Davis Gaines Chamberlain singing voice Joel McKinnon Miller Bromley voice Dakin Matthews King William voice Sandy Duncan Queen Uberta voice Brian Nissen Narrator voice Adam Wylie Edit Storyline As children, Prince Derek and Princess Odette are forced to spend their summers together by their widowed parents, who hope that the two will eventually fall in love and marry, so their two kingdoms will be united.

The Magic Begins November Edit Did You Know? When she turns around to face her father, she has freckles. You're not still thinking she's alive? She's not coming back. The whole kingdom knows that.

The whole kingdom's wrong! Odette's alive, and I'm gonna find her. Connections Featured in Troldspejlet: Frequently Asked Questions Q: Odette's mother is never mentioned Was she born from thin air? Was this review helpful to you? We were at the Irish Premiere last week where our old friend Robert Sheehan was looking rather foppish indeed in his attire It was very much a Polish affair at Bucks Townhouse last night as hot business woman Izabela Chudzicka brought out a bevy of her beautiful native sisters for the PartyGirl.

Right so, seeya folks. Okay, so we know Victoria Beckham is infamous for her Posh-Pout but we thought a wee visit to Ireland would put a smile on her face. Sure, even the Queen cracked a grin or two while she was here and she's not even married to David Beckham. Still, Vicky B's new collection at Brown Thomas is pretty damn spectacular all the same There we were expecting a couple of mad quare wans waving American flags in funny hats outside the Bruce Springsteen gig at The RDS last night, and who should show up?

You know, research for their Abraham Lincoln biopic and all that. Big Springsteen fan Honest Abe was We don't know what's in the water those big rugby fellars drink but it most certainly has extract of the mythical mojo fruit added. Yup, you guessed it. Another lucky lad from a rugger background is dating a lovely Irish model. MTV's bright shining light in a gloomy grey TV landscape of generic sameness just happens to be a blonde Bray babe called Laura Whitmore.

Herself and Mandy Byram are running rings around all other small screen lady presenters over in that London, we caught up with The Whitmore at Saturday Night With Miriam One was the mammy of Ramsay Street, the other was the darling of The O. We wuz all geared-up to hang with Fiddy this week folks at the Carphone Warehouse. Had our cameras blinged-up, gold teeth, parrots on shoulders, wooden legs, and eye-patches. That's how rappers dress, yeah? But all we got was lovely Louise Kavanagh in jean-shorts cuz that 50 Cent lad went and put his foot in it Ever since she legged it to that London top-heavy model Georgia Salpa hasn't looked back.

Good news folks, her immenseness was amid us island-bound peasants late last week doing good for the Irish economy by splurging some of her UK glossy mag money in Dublin shops Good old Keith 'Duster' Duffy folks, he sure knows how to throw a party.

There's a new Irish website alive alive-o right now folks, and it's just for the laaadies. IE and it'll tickle yer fallopian tubes and other womany bits us fellas have no clue about That dynamic Rosanna Davison wan can do anything folks. Tony Stark hasn't a patch You heard it here first folks, mainly because we made it up.

They, and by that we mean us, are calling them Gradia Ever heard of Bansha folks? No, neither had we We may or may not have snatched a pic of our Una's ankle Work hard, play even harder. That's the motto of the cast and crew of TV3's Celebrity Salon.

We caught-up with the so-sozzled-crew as they rolled-out of Harrys Bar the other night after a spot of Karaoke and a sneaky bevy or two or three. All this stuff better make it into the actual show The gang of producers behind such shows as Fade Street, Dublin Housewives, and Celebrity Salon aren't so much handpicking contestants for their new breed of surreality shows folks, more building-up an extended and slightly dysfunctional family.

Those Straywave cats brought the warring Housewives out to be styled by the Celeb Salonites at Hairspray yesterday Truth is folks, all we was gettin' was frames full of umbrella blockers and face-palms. Now, we wouldn't be the world's biggest Westlife fans but fair play to the lads folks. They sure made a wee bit of talent stretch a very long way and to be really honest, a couple of their tunes aint all that bad. The fivesome-now-foursome said their final farewells with two massive monster Croker gigs last weekend Yes folks, she went off to that London to become a Playboy bunny and all that but she's home now, and boy did we miss her.

We're talking about bustilicious babe Louise Kavanagh and this is how she showed-up for work at The Gypsy Rose yesterday. Okay, so the whole Electric Burma concert was a world class show of how to entertain and impress a deserving foreign dignitary. Bad news, her jumper reads "Not For Sale". Darn, and there we wuz searching down the back of the couch for the Communion money and cashing in Granny's Prize Bonds Seems like celebrity lifestyle isn't all limos, lollipops, and belly laughs folks.

Pooped so they were Us poor Irish feckers just can't get a break. The rain is supposed to mainly fall in Spain but while it was belting down here in buckets, those cheeky Spaniards were kicking our wee green arses in Poland.

Still, Jamie Oliver and Co. Where would you get it folks? An actual Hollywood star turned-up at an Irish movie premiere and a random spontaneous event related to the plot of the film occurred right in front of the press and assembled celeb types. A few little known facts about Bressie off The Voice folks. His name is actually Niall Breslin, he once aspired to be a rugby hero, he used to do music in a band, and he even drew a moustache on a Juliette Lewis poster with a marker!

That was all before he came our fav photocall princess. Let's face it - he's the new Salpa They've only just picked Miss Ireland and the next lot of lovelies are lining up to be Miss Universe Ireland Us Irish luv an aul beauty pageant so we do That fancy pants Claudine Palmer one was in for the 50th Late Late Show thingy last weekend, but her being all LA and stuff, one outfit just wouldn't do the job. She darted from RTE in a haze of bling and heels, flipped her designer gear, and hit Bucks.

Faster than Superman, even without a phone box For some reason Jedward were our main Olympic Torch bearers of note cuz, you know, their hair looks like the fire on a torch. Well, at least they all got to keep the massive gold cigarette lighters. It all got a bit big-boys-toys last weekend what with the Bavaria City Racing thing blocking-off half the town. But not even the persistent pelting rain kept the big boys at home, well who wouldn't queue up to see The Glenda get her hands on Jenson Button's shiny helmet!

Phnarr phnarr woof woof etc Well, there's no denying that the much hyped Late Late Show 50th Anniversary special didn't deliver in buckets folks.

Lots of guests and lots of memories, bags of impromptu interruptions, and many a dram of the hard stuff sank At times it all went Nell McCafferty Strange turn of events last night folks, we had Ireland's last favorite celeb and Ireland's latest bunch of celebs throwing separate bashes in the same venue. Where to start folks? TV3's Dublin Housewives hit our screens this week and boy has it delivered. We were expecting this to be a pseudo glammed-up champagne soaked extravaganza of fakeness and false lashes.

Sure, we got that. And so much bloody more A new fad has come to Ireland folks, and to be honest, we're kinda stoked. If like us you get your daily caffeine intake via hot milky beverages in any given coffee shop with an open door, then get ready for alternative. It's called Bubblicity Tea and even our very own Kathryn Thomas digs it As Jedward arrived home from Eurovision disaster yesterday something dawned on us folks, Ireland will never win Eurovision again.

It was Harrys on the Green once again last night as our favourite models had another Catwalk 2 Kilimanjaro launch party. Now, we don't think they're going back up the African mountain so we reckon it was all to launch the accompanying TV show they shot way back when. We're not great when it comes to the aul facts The lovely big warm sun over Ireland was all anyone was talking about yesterday, ironic then that all the celeb types ran to the snow the first chance they got.

Finally folks, we found him. And right on our very own bloody doorstep. We're talking about the man whose song 'Mandy' made poor artistically frustrated Brian McFadden quit Westlife, we're hoping Barry Manilow is here to apologise to the Irish Nation Kearney Is Europe's Best The sun finally turned the map the right way round and found its way to Ireland yesterday.

We're feckin' back baby With the end of the era of Desperate Housewives just in sight, some of those lovely ladies have spread out across the globe to say so-long to the fans.

Dublin was blessed with the elegance and grace of Marcia Cross aka Bree last weekend, who at a fine fifty cut a long slender figure on The Saturday Night Show We've noticed a trend of late folks, more and more celeb types are piling into photo opps with wee Louis Walsh.

It seems the more bouffanty his hair gets the more peeps that are drawn to our Lou Lou. Ok folks, we've kinda said we're already jaded with all these non-reality reality shows. Y'know, coz we have slightly functioning brains 'n' stuff.

Saying that and knowing the ladies involved, we're still kinda - in an odd and strangely kinky way - looking forward to watching TV3's upcoming Dublin Housewives Say hello to last night's launch party Still, when the 'stars' of such things hit the clubs we're there with bells on. Good value folks, two Miss Ireland's for the price of one in the space of two weeks. Maire Hughes had to give up her crown over the whole AgeGate thing and it was finally handed over to the lovely Rebecca Maguire at The Wright Venue last weekend The Glosie Are Back Hold on to your damn knackers folks for the biggest thing to happen in Ireland since a little thing called the Peace Process occurred last night.

Jeez, is there anything Sacha Baron Cohen can't do? Things certainly got hot in the kitchen at Harrys On The Green last night with Pippa O'Connor in situ as the resident chef in a sheer black dress. The row over Maire Hughes being too old for the Miss World finals still hasn't gone away folks.

A week after she owned-up to putting the wrong date of birth on the forms she found herself on The Saturday Night Show fighting her corner We have no idea what Geordie Shore is folks nor who Charlotte Letitia Crosby is, yet that didn't stop a massive foam party from kicking off when she showed up at XS Nightclub in Rathfarnham last weekend.

Finally folks, much hyped and even awarded Irish movie 'Charlie Casanova' got its premiere screening last night and who should show up? And it all went down at The Lighthouse Now all that Miss Ireland AgeGate is starting to abate caaalm-down, caaalm-down we can get back to business as unusual. We don't have much time to throw together a story today so we thought we'd just lash up some pics of our fav models in their underwear We attended 'Styled By Ladies and gentlemen, your Miss Ireland We just don't think we can get behind this new big spectacle fad going around.

In all the years we've been shooting Irish celeb types we've managed to miss yer man Marty Morrissey for the most part. And what a sublimely shaped headed man he is with a unique aesthetic that's almost mythical yet indescribable. It's hotly tipped to be the big blockbuster film of the summer and will no doubt turn a tidy profit here in Ireland, yet at the Dublin Premiere of Avengers Assemble this week there was ner a sign of the Hollywood stars.

Still, at least they rolled out the red carpet and put up a big poster in The Savoy Those two spiky haired effervescent bouncing flubber balls of hyperactive insanity Well, that was all before Miss Tara Reid rolled into town.

We caught up with the twins yesterday after a few days hanging with the American Pie star, and boy did they have ner a drop of wind left in their sails Those crafty feckers over at Buck Whaleys aint sitting on their arses during the recession folks, nope they're pulling in the punters on nights when most other clubs are tumbleweed empty. This could be worse than that time we found out Britney was a virgin no more folks.

Hold on to your quiffs coz we exclusively snapped the bould Tara Reid 36 on the arm of wee Edward Grimes 20 leaving the 'American Pie: Reunion' afterparty late last night and then sitting on a Jedward's knee in the back of a car We warned you peeps this is big news We honestly don't have that many high-hopes for the latest American Pie instalment 'American Reunion' which has its Irish Premiere this evening with most of the original cast on the red carpet.

We caught up with Stifler and even Stifler's Mom as they arrived in Dublin late last night This time out it was all about finding rogue moles on under protected Irish skin.

Alas, we found none on these two beauties apart from a rather suspicious tattoo on Miss Moyles' shapely left buttock. One of our favourite characters is that stereotypical middle aged RTE presenter with the babies shoved up her dress obsessed with the glamour At first we thought it was an amalgam of The Miriam and The Blathnaid, but now we're thinking there's a lot of The Lorraine in there too What a contrasting showdown folks, the youthful hope filled gals vying for the Miss Ireland title up against the more mature lady from The Southside Housewives show.

Both sets of femme fatales crossed paths at Buck Whaleys last night We didn't stick around long but we bet there was murder on the dance floor There was a time folks in our not so distant past that no self respecting photocall queen would be seen plying her trade anywhere but the top o' Grafton Street.

Stephen's Green at a stretch. But those heady days are long gone, and watching our very own Nadia Forde playing kick-about on The Mary Street yesterday compounded the bleak state this country is in And you thought the Coffin Ships were bad Stare at his face. Now in your mind ask him would he like a cup of tea, then wait. Yes, wait and endure the protracted awkward painful silence before his deadpan response states in glorious monotone monosyllables: No I'm grand thanks A quiet Easter weekend on the celeb front folks so we'll revisit last week's car-azy VVIP Awards as the celeboholics filled with celebohol spilled-out early-doors onto the dry Dublin streets as Good Friday's prohibition kicked-in Irish stylee.

It WAS thee ironic award giving event of the year thus far Aint Ireland just grrrand We weren't even born the last time there was a musical at the Abbey Theatre, talking like 20 years ago.

But that all changed last night when 'Alice in Funderland' historically opened there. Lots of actor types attended but no Helter-skelters or even Bumper-Cars, Funderland has changed Model Louise Kavanagh's back home from that London after a spell working in the Playboy Club, apparently that qualifies her as an official fully licensed Bunny Girl.

We all know how tough the Irish modelling industry is folks but we weren't really aware just how bleedin' tough a few of the glam girlies are. So we were quite taken aback when we attended Dublin Pub Box at The Wright Venue last week where some lovely ladies knocked seven bales of brown shite outta each other Seeing as it's Monday morning we thought we'd get your week off to a bright start with some pictures of our fav model of the moment Karena Graham in her knickers.

The blonde bombshell was doing a bit of the aul modelling for Marlies Dekkers at Brown Thomas last week Models Back On Grafton The sun came out in Ireland this week, the damned recession is showing signs of ending, and models are back working on Grafton Street. With all the media cutbacks, journo layoffs, and Irish franchise newspapers closing down and wotnot there's a big Paul Martin shaped hole left in the tabs for a proper balls-to-the-wall unapologetic ShowBiz hack.

Step forward Jennifer O'Brien, apparently she's got an 'ajenda' and stuff O what a match. He's got the biggest hair in ShowBiz, she's got the biggest pout. We are of course talking about Edward Grimes and Rozanna Purcell, they're calling the Jedcell, least we were when they bumped into each other yesterday To show our pure dedication to the Irish interpretation of schhhtyle we hung around outside the VIP Style Awards last Friday night like starving rabid mange ridden dogs.

When there's this much of the fashion happening in one place we're staying put. See all the VIPees as they left the awards clinging on to their goodie bags like they were Lifeboats on the Titanic Well now folks, if you wanted to see all the finest fashion and all the latest schhhtyle you shudda been in Dublin last Friday night for the VIP Style Awards at The Shelbourne Hotel.

More guna nuas and bleached white teeth than you could shake a schhhtylish stick at Those pesky students were at it again this week folks. Openly doing the fashion in public Hayley Ryan and Michele McGrath were at it so we put up their picture, no other real connection to this story we can see Yesterday we spotted hunky actor Killian Scott, aka Tommy, out shopping and we can't help thinking there's a touch of a younger Colin Farrell about the lad Well, Ali is a brand new model Mom and our Rosie has a new wee puppy, so it makes good business sense.

Oh what a weekend it was folks. All the dressing up and parading around town showing the world what it's really like to be Irish. It was the Alternative Miss Ireland Oh, and that St Patrick's Day thing was also on too we heard It's just dawned on us that it has been an age, perhaps even an age and a half, since we last had Rosanna Davison on the front of ShowBiz.

Ah sure, seeing as it's Paddy's weekend we thought we'd push her to the fore just because she wore traditional Irish pastel peach at The Devil Inside Premiere last night She may well be fast approaching 40 but there's no denying that newly single Amanda Byram is as hot as ever, if not hotter. We caught-up with Ireland's most successful female TV presenter of all time out at the Late Late last weekend It is with a stomach filled with vinegary guilt that we bring you these here pictures folks.

Still, we're only feckin' excira that there's more Nidger coming our way soon The good folk out at RTE may not be able to get their wee heads around pulling comments off Twitter but they've sure managed to produce two quite popular yet unlikely leading men in Niall Breslin and David McSavage. We heard chatter on the wires that the Ireland fellas did the business against the invading Scottish hoards in a game of rugbyball last weekend.

Truth is, the only reason we knew the rugger was on was because we spotted Rozanna Purcell flirting with some lad in a tartan skirt at O'Donoghues on Baggot Street. What with it being International Woman's Day yesterday and every other darn day as far as we can see we totally got down with the gals.

But this time with a twist for the fit fella on our Hol's arm yesterday seemed to be a bit more fashion forward than the other fella from the day before. So, has Holly hipstered-up her rugby man We don't know what's attracting former Miss Irelands to the rugby playing male of late, but the rough around the edges lads seem to be going down well with the lovely Misseses.

The Irish premiere for Project X went down at Cineworld last week folks with the carazy cast of Tallafornia in full affect. Welcome to Irish light entertainment Based on the sacred stones where once the mighty Cocoon Bar stood, The Grafton Lounge lives on folks where lesser public houses fell.

We were there at the 2nd birthday bash last night with Madeline Mulqueen of Rubberbandits fame. And yes, she had a horse outside We're still in total shock that Danish supermodel Helena Christensen is 43 years old thanks Wiki! Well, she was over at Brown Thomas last week launching luxury lingerie brand Triumph Essence with a few of our fav fashion models Our wee Georgia Salpa has gone up in the world folks - we randomly snapped her yesterday leaving The Merrion Hotel with a strapping young man carrying her Jimmy Choos shopping bags A new feller youthinks?

Well no, she was quick to point out they were just good friends. There's yet again another totally unscripted we totally swear! It's either gonna be must-see or never-want-to-see-again TV. We don't think the good people of Eurovision really know what they've got themselves into. The Jedward twins ran away with the farcical Late Late qualifiers last weekend and are now heading full-steam to Azerbaijan But with a huge team of absolutely crazy and social media savvy teens behind them, we don't think second place is an option Not since Michael Caine and Julie Walters filmed Educating Rita have such an unlikely pairing been through the hallowed doors of Trinity College folks.

It's no secret that former X Factor twins Jedward are nuttier than six factories full of fruitcakes, so we have to applaud the designer that made their custom American flag jackets into actual straitjackets for their pending Eurovision bid. We bet long suffering Liam McKenna had something to do with it The Brits probably ask themselves everyday: But our real contribution to modern British popular culture has to be the TV friendly Irish Traveller community Holy momma there was a serious kerfuffle of schnappers down at The Savoy last night.

Some feller called Alan Pistachio or something was in town with his hot bird giving it all that on the red carpet and launching his movie Wilde Salome.

Still, top bloke, whoever he may be Skinny jeans, plaid shirts, and bow ties at the ready hipsters for there's a new in-place on South William Street to get your eat on and your drink on. It's called Bear and our very own Jamie Heaslip is a partner in Dublin's latest right-on-trend eatery Bad news guys, she's was with her F1 fella Lewis Hamilton. We really thought we'd have a shot Although, in consolation our Nicole did play a stomper gig at The Olympia Sure, isn't it the place we first spotted Rosanna Davison wearing nowt but gold nipple tassels back in They totally pulled-it outta the bag once again There were some frocky horror sights, some pleasant surprises, some pregnant bellys, and of course Ruth Negga who managed to run-away with the most stylish outfit without going down the dreaded Debs dress route The rest of Europe may be neck-deep in snow but over here in wee Eire, we may be smashed, but at least we've got the good weather.

We caught up with two of Ireland's hottest ladies at the weekend, depending on your taste, at The Saturday Night Show. But dear reader, which one is your preferred cup o' darjeeling Now, we didn't see the invites to the 10th Jameson Dublin International Film Festival launch at The Lighthouse last night, but we're pretty sure the dress code wasn't stated as homegirl chic We've heard reports in the Oirish meeja that our very own lovely Rosanna Davison has only gone and got her kit offski for Playboy.

Like, all of it! Now, we're not gonna condone that sort of nudie thing, but it seems the whole experience has put a new wee spring in the step of the former Miss World The age-old conundrum was posed: What Do Women Want? Well, according to fashionable female Holly White it's most definitely skinny cocktails, low carb nibbles, angel card readings, eyelashes, and Rozanna Purcell on the decks. With a big Georgia Salpa shaped hole in the red tops the poor aul papers are stuck for a bit o' totty to brighten up their pages.

Luckily the TV3 Tallafornia posse popped-up at the right time to fill the gap Good people of Ireland - fair play to Georgia Salpa. Sure, she's only over in that London 5 mins and she's already a tabloid favourite. Love or hate TV3's choice of programming, there's no doubt that Ireland's second fav television station has its eyes on the No. As they laid out their Spring Schedule stall The Convention Centre yesterday we even had the likes of Vincent Browne hanging with the Tallafornia tribe Last year's X Factor is already a really distant memory folks - basically all we can remember from it is Gary Barlow, a camp older gentleman in a baseball cap, and a wee Irish gal called Janet Devlin who shudda won the show hands-down.

Waaay back when Westlife were probably no more than a twinkle in Louis Walsh's eye and Jedward were still crawling around a lot more than they do now, there was The Carter Twins. A momentous thing happened recently folks Steps got back together!

Some said tragedy, others said result. Well we are chuffed, mainly coz we used to really fancy Faye back in the day. Coincidentally, our lovely Faye was on The Daily Show yesterday Fair play to Brian McFadden and Vogue Williams for sealing their blossoming romance by bringing it full circle and right back to where they first met.

Brogue celebrated their recent engagement with a wee party for close chums at Harry's Bar last night There may be an economic recession going-on folks, but there sure as hell aint no recession in the world of musical theatre.

As Peter Griffin would say: So lots of our well known ladies have been getting engaged over the past month or so and thus rocking rather large rocks from their committed intendeds. But then we bumped into Vogue Williams yesterday wearing the feckin' Sugarloaf Mountain on her wedding finger and it put the rest of 'em in the shade. Can love be expressed in diamonds?

A sleek movie by the name of 'Haywire' boasts a sleek cast including: Considering it was partially made in Dublin we had high hopes for a celeb-tastic premiere last night. But far better than that, we got two sporty models running in front of the Luas on Middle Abbey Street Move over Jodie Marsh, there's a new buffer sheriff in town. Forget Sporty Spice, we're renaming her Spartan Spice.

The big big movie of thus far seems to be Steven Spielberg's Warhorse, and the good news is it has a few Irish fellas in there such as Liam Cunningham. We were at the Irish Premiere last week where Glenda Gilson wasn't sweating any Ben Frow-esque jibes on the red carpet Yeah we've been banging-on about newbie model Thalia Heffernan for a while now folks, but with good cause. We have a feeling this new crew coming could spell the beginning of the end for our lovely photocall girls The fricken cheek of some people!

Suggesting that our Sharon Corr, the hottest Corr, needs to stick some of that Botox stuff into her lovely Irish face at the tender age of 41? We reckon Shazza's the sexiest woman to ever to, erm, fiddle with a fiddle It's mid January and we're still in Christmas panto season.

Thus, sexy Samantha Mumba is still on these shores and walking the boards in The Gaiety. We snapped the one-time singer yesterday as she stocked-up on burgers and hair extensions in-and-abouts the Grafton Street area She has a number of strings to her bow, but who wudda thought that model Rozanna Purcell was our top celebrity dinner party thrower?

Our dearest darling Claudine Palmer is back from that LA folks, and all a glow from hanging out with the Beckhams and the like. Usually when they take a standard TV Reality Show and stick 'Celebrity' in front of it, the intense cheek clinching embarrassment ensues. But for ALL the wrong reasons folks And there we were thinking WE are the only ones that like to dress-up as Linda Martin and relive her Eurovision win in mirror.

Virtually the maddest story of thus far It sure was a long drawn-out Festive Season folks and now we're smack bang into And if we're to believe The Mayan Calendar, and we all do, there aint gonna be a Grand, we love an aul apocalypse. Love her, hate her, or are completely indifferent - there's no denying that was the year of Georgia Salpa. As we wind-down for Crimbo, once again it's that time of the year when we tip our hat to ShowBiz.

Sadly, she's dropped the bombshell that she's just got engaged to her fancy fella out in that LA All the best ones are gone Some of you cynical feckers out there not us gave out stink when Georgia Salpa pulled out of the Sleeping Beauty panto at the last minute.

You guys didn't really believe her when she said she felt she couldn't do the role justice. Well, she proved her intentions were actually true last night when she ate humble pie and made an appearance at the opening Another weekend folks, another model agency out on the town.

Not too big on quantity, but there's no denying the quality Yet, they're still walking around streets as free citizens. We're talking about the good people at Straywave Media, they had their glam Christmas bash this week We just know them as Paul Galvin and Louise Duffy, Ireland latest and hottest contemporary couple baby Local lass Laura Whitmore has done good folks.

She's been the face of MTV over in that London for a while now and just come back from successfully presenting I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Last weekend saw Sharon Condon go mad with the bottle of bleach and relaunch herself as a sexy solo singer First Kilimanjaro got it in the neck, now poor Sleeping Beauty is getting the talk to the hand treatment. Seems like our Georgia Salpa is far too busy coming and going from that London to keep to her Irish projects.

Big question is folks - can Panto come through this epic withdrawal this Christmas? What with the huge uproar over the budget and all the political parties ripping each other apart we fear the those in power have taken their eye off the ball and missed the real cause of Ireland's woes Just like Southpark's Goobacks, she's taking our jobs Lo and behold who should turn-up at the Fade Street 2nd series launch party at the weekend?

Well, the last time he hung-out with that crew he ended up hooking Georgia Salpa, the bookings flew in, and the rest is history Wonder who he had his eye on this time? Christmas really is just around the corner folks. We can always feel it in the air after the first of the many many many model parties kick-off the Season.

As per usual Assets got theirs out of the way first with a big bash at Bucks begorrah Ah we're full of Christmas cheer and nonsense now that Katie Price kicked off the Yuletide Season, which is tradition in these here parts. Like, imagine Crimbo without Jordan's massive bean-bags? Well folks, it all happened at Lara's Boutique on Dame Lane last night Just look at those lime-ing eyes! We've finally got to the source of Ireland's expanding joblessness.

What's that, you say? That old Virgin Prune Gavin Friday hasn't lost it just yet folks. He drew a wee bit of a celebrity crowd last night when he performed at The Olympia Theatre.

Such is the glamorous life of Miss Ireland Holly Carpenter folks - when she wants to go for a wee power nap four burly bare-chested men are constantly on hand just to carry her around like Cleopatra. More news over at The Pink Supperclub folks. The place was full of hot leggy models but wee Jude stole the show But it was worth the wait folks coz she hooked-up with Latvian hottie Eva Ward yesterday at Brown Thomas and launched the Mimi Holliday pop-up lingerie boutique in store There's an Irish model out there with a rare bit of charisma and who doesn't take herself too seriously.

And the result of Daniella Moyles having an actual personality and a TV presence that doesn't make you want to slam your face on a sizzling frying pan, is she now has a show coming out soon on RTE called 'Bulletin TV' The results are in folks and Dublin's best restaurant has been found. Now that our favourite model Georgia Salpa is over in that London all the time we reckon she's starting to miss ickle old ShowBiz.

Statuesque Miss Ireland Emma Waldron left her ambitions behind of one day wearing that bejewelled-to-bejasus tiara and has got down to some proper hard graft folks. When not modelling these days she can be found hostessing at The Grafton Lounge There was a wee bit o' proper celebrating going-on last night after the mighty Ireland boys qualified for Euro at the Aviva Stadium. Despite sleeping through the underwhelming snorefest we kinda felt sad at the end thinking about all those poor hot Estonian girls not travelling to the finals.

It was like Ground Hog Day mixed with a shot deja vu last night folks. We had boxer Kenneth Egan over at Krystle with a bevy of models hanging outta him But wait there, don't call Brendan O'Connor just yet. There we were thinking the annual Childline concert was named after the charity but with the weekend just gone we're thinking it's more to do with the age of the pop acts.

They be right young! We covered the Childline gig last weekend and the afterparty at Lillies We were at their 1st birthday bash last night were Rosanna Davison was hanging out with a very slippery operator It's been a right wee while since we've had The Glenda on the front of ShowBiz. Still, a girl needs a night out and where better to go than a Tori Amos gig With all these darn reality tv talent shows on the box it's hard to keep-up folks, never mind remember who just got voted-off or kicked-out five minutes ago.

Warhol was wrong, 15 minutes would have been a bloody lifetime to some of these peeps. We're gonna get soppy here folks, we always cry at weddings.

3 Men And A Little Lady (): In this sequel, Sylvia's (Nancy Travis) work increasingly takes her away from the three men who help bring up her 5 year old daughter Mary (Robin Weisman).One of the men, actor Jack Holden (Ted Danson), is having trouble finding a gig, so he agrees on doing a commercial dressed like Carmen Miranda. st Street - Turbo - Clint takes a business trip to New York and gets into trouble. (M+/M, gang-rape) 7th Heaven: Reverand Camden Gets A Surprise - by Nysguy - The normal life in the Camden family is turned upside down when a face from the past shows up to do to Reverend Camden what the Rev. had done to him, change his family forever! (MFF, inc, nc, TV-parody). Dad And Daryl's Dick - by Kip Hawk - A man is crazy for his sixteen year old son's cock. (M/m-teen, ped, inc, oral) Dad And Uncle Joe - by Bossman - I was starting to think the only reason Uncle Joe was staying with us was because of what he, Mum and Dad were doing in the bedroom. But changed when they started to use me in their fun.