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Sometimes part of the fun of going to the baths is observing all of the men cruising one another. One of my favorite pastimes is to sit in one of the busiest hallways and watch all of the men pass by me and focus on each mans left hand.

Because I like to see how many wedding rings I can pick out. My all time record was counting 20 wedding rings in a single night. Though since same-sex marriage has been legalized, this little game I play no longer applies!

For married men, the baths are a perfect place to get your rocks off, and not worry about getting caught. As I have mentioned, the baths are a "behind closed doors" type atmosphere, its location very secluded and out of the way. It is just too risky for married men to go to a gay bar looking for a pick-up. First there is the constant worry of being "seen" by someone. Second, you do not have to waste your time at the bar, talking someone up. At the baths you can get right to the point.

Third, married men have no place to go have sex if they find someone. The baths are so convenient; you are there, a room is only steps away, and you can cut right to the chase. But many married men go to the baths, looking for some sort of companionship in a non-sexual way.

Read Making The Connection for more These men don't have many dealings interacting with the gay community and the need to connect someway with other gay men is strong. Whether it is conversation to observing two gay men having a quickie. It fills that need to be with another man. These men feel safer connecting with other gay men at the baths than the bars or clubs. Again that closed doors environment What the baths offers these men is a false sense of security and acceptance.

There is a sense of freedom to let go and feel uninhibited. But its not just married men who use the baths to fool around. I have had encounters with many gay men who are in committed relationships, but not in an open relationship. Now here is an interesting tidbit. No matter how turned on some of these men may get, or how much they want to get off ejaculate , when they are having sex with someone else at the baths, they control themselves and manage not to cum.

If they cum earlier in the day with someone else at the baths then cannot cum later that same day with their significant other, suspicion will arise. I have even heard of some couples, when infidelity has crept into their lives, that each person must ejaculate every night in front of the other. This is to show that they have been faithful.

But to get back to married men, they do not have to worry about ejaculation. They can just feign a headache to their wife. Typically married men go to the baths during the day, never late at night when the place is most popular.

You can catch married men at the baths at three different times. Lunchtime, read The Lunch Special for more. After work during rush hour and commuter traffic. And finally the most popular time Sunday afternoons during football on TV. The after work crowd consists of commuters who want to wait out the rush hour traffic.

With nothing to do between 5 to 8 PM, these men will head to the baths looking for some action. Generally they will tell their wives that they are having a drink with a client, working late at the office or stuck in rush hour traffic. While the Sunday afternoon crowd will consist of other married men looking for some hot sex before Sunday dinner with the folks. Their excuse to their wives range from having to finish up some work at the office, going to the gym, or having a beer with the buddies at a bar, while watching the football game.

Now I have met and seen my share of married men at the baths over the years. About a young married man who goes to the baths frequently. Picture a body like Jean-Claude VanDamme, face and hair of a model. Wardrobe consists of ripped jeans and a flannel shirt with no sleeves. Yet, he is married, in the closet and goes to the baths weekly. I once over-heard a conversation he had with a guy whom he just finished having sex with. He was saying that if there were a pill he could take that would make him straight, he would be the first in line.

It made me think what his life would be like, if he was honest with himself. He would be so popular in the gay community. He sure would not be lonely. Yet he is in the closet and is married, and if I saw him on the street, I would think — straight. Then there are the married and single straight men that use the baths just to get a blowjob. They find it gross and prefer the conventional way of sex.

So these men just head to the baths and wait for some guy to blow them; the guy performing oral doesn't have to look great. The straight guy is just concentrating on the wonderful feeling of getting blown. You will find many of these straight guys sitting in the porn room. All they have to do is sit there with an erection, stroke their dick up and down, and eventually men will come. I remember one guy who only liked to get blown. Every week, on the same day at the same time, he would arrive at the baths.

He would plunk himself in the porn room, stroke himself, and in the next three hours over twenty guys would suck him! During that time, he would never say anything. Some blowjobs lasted a minute, others could go on for five minutes. After three hours he would shower and leave. He proved so popular and consistent that guys used to be waiting for him by the porn room. And every seven days it would happen again and again. Other married men I have seen at the baths arrive with a hustler they have developed a relationship with.

Every week they met up at the baths, have wild sex, and then go their separate ways. In another 7 days they met up again. As I had mentioned in my story Tricks of the Trade , in a hustlers mind, a trick is not a one-night stand. A good trick is when you get a customer coming back for more and more.

That way a hustler has a guaranteed source of income. While there have been other older and I do mean older men who are married and use the baths to get off. Many of these men are still married, because back in the 50s and early 60s, that was the thing to do.

Many of them hoped that by getting married, it would erase the feelings they had for men. There was not this freedom that exists today, where men are coming out at a very early age. Subsequently, they have come to grips with their sexuality, but lack the courage to come out and break up the family.

It is hard when things have been the same for twenty years. But surprisingly, I have met some older married men who have come out to their wives, and now they are having a marriage in name only. Not wanting to break up the family or their relationship, the man is allowed to pursue gay relationships.

So they are together for the sake of the family, but both parties pursue new relationships outside of the marriage. But I have also met some other men who were married and have since divorced their wives. They just did not want to live a lie any longer.

I really salute their courage. It is not easy being 50 or 60 and coming out in this day of age. While it is more accepting to be gay now, unfortunately the older you get, the more invisible you are within the gay community, which is so focused on youth and beauty.

So to sum up why married men go to the baths. Half of them are in denial about their sexuality. Despite vowing never to go back to the baths, they always do.

And the other half accept the fact of their sexuality and keep coming back for more and more, constantly worried about rocking the boat in their current marriage. I just hope that all of these married men are practicing safe sex, for their wives sake.

Never been to a bathhouse but have read lots. Would love to go on a late night weekend, if I find one. Would love to try it out. I am married and love bathhouses. I am married to a very conventional woman who does not like oral and anal. Having sex at a bathhouse allows me the opportunity to receive oral and get as much anal as I want and guess what, it makes me feel like I am not cheating.

Cheating would be having sex with a woman. Just my way of enjoying what I like without the guilt trip. I just wanted to say that I Luv bathhouse blues.

Just the kind GAM talked about in one of his articles.

It Just Got Easier For Straight 'Bros' To Meet Dudes For Dates, Sex And More | HuffPost

Try making eye contact for a few seconds and then look away for a moment. Then, look at him again and see if he is still looking at you.

If he is, then this might indicate that he finds you attractive. Flash him a smile to send the message that you also find him attractive. Strike up a conversation.

Before you ask a guy out, you will probably want to get to know him and find out if you two have anything in common. Otherwise, it might turn into a boring date. Ask him about his interests, likes, and dislikes, and background to start getting to know him. Some questions you can ask him include: What do you do for a living? What do you like to do for fun? What kind of music do you like? Did you grow up around here?

Do you have any pets? Are you having a good time? Compliments are always appreciated, whether you are flirting with someone or not. By giving the guy a compliment, you can increase his confidence and send a message that you are attracted to him. I love your suit. Try some playful touching. Try some brief, gentle touches to let him know that you are attracted to him. These gestures may also give him the confidence to touch you back. For example, you can try touching him on the arm or shoulder when he says something that you find interesting or funny.

Or, if you want to be a little bolder, then you can try placing a hand on his back to guide him as you are walking through a crowded place together. Part 2 Quiz You can strike up a conversation with a guy by asking him: What he does for a living. What he does for fun. What kind of music he listens to. Whether he has any pets. All of the above. Hint at your interest.

A subtle approach might be best if you think that there is a chance he might not be into guys. This is a lower stakes way of indicating your interest that will give him the opportunity to politely decline. What would you do in my situation? We should hang out sometime. However, this will pass. Try suggesting a place to go. If you are getting lots of positive sign from him, then you can go ahead and ask him on a date.

Pick something that you will both enjoy based on your conversation and suggest a specific day and place to meet up. What time works for you? Part 3 Quiz What should you do if your crush tells you that he does not date guys? Try to persuade him to consider it. Ask him again later. I recently ended up in a strange situation. One of my male friends kissed me and I didn't stop him. Since then I can't stop thinking about it. We haven't spoken since this.

I'm male also, but not gay. The first step is to determine if you liked it. Regardless of that answer, you need to talk to your friend about the situation. Don't think of it as black and white: It's a spectrum, and you could fall anywhere along there. Not Helpful 3 Helpful If his pupils dilate he is attracted to you. He would look at you when you are speaking because he would be paying attention and he might look away if your eyes meet due to embarrassment.

Not Helpful 1 Helpful So despite its "no labels" branding, there seems to be an understanding that the majority of men who would be interested in a networking app for men-seeking-men are likely to be gay or bi.

One might say that for an app that seeks to transcend labels, it sure is clutching tightly onto one label in particular: Kort believes that this will likely be an unavoidable aspect of Bro's existence, but he doesn't necessarily see it as a problem so long as it helps such men become more comfortable with themselves. They should have a safe space to find similar friends or men that have experienced it and are willing to help; not judge them for being 'closet cases.

Such noble intentions aside, the question remains: Courtesy of Bro Because of the app's avoidance of explicit sexual labels, there is some confusion as to who exactly it's designed for. Related stories by this author. Why women's rights activists want a "no" vote for Brett Kavanaugh. With many apps focused on sexual binaries and anonymous hookups, I want BRO to stand out as being a high quality app that helps men -- no matter how they may identify sexually -- make meaningful connections that last more than just one night.

We are also one of the first apps that caters specifically to men that actually encourages non-anonymity. Our app currently requires that you connect through your Facebook, and this can be difficult for some people. But, we've found that men are more polite and mature to each other when they're not hidden behind anonymous user names, fake profile photos and sexuality labels.

The culture I want to encourage is one where men feel free to express intimacy for one another regardless of whether it's emotional or sexual. I want men to feel supported in their exploration -- a support that our culture often denies them. Want to check out BRO for yourself?

Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Some asexual people also experience the desire of being affectionate to other people without it being sexual. If you do not experience sexual attraction, you might identify as asexual.

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